By popular demand
Apr. 7th, 2004 12:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveOkay 86 O.C. fen. This one is for you.
The O.C.
I Wanna Be Sedated or Seth Cohen and the Art of Zen
People underestimate the importance of being calm. Calm is good. Calm is Zen. And Seth is both Zen and calm. After all, calm people do not freak out when their best friends wander through their own bedrooms in damp towels, water running in rivulets down their very nicely developed and tanned chests, with -- hey, is that a birthmark on Ryan’s back, right above the towel?
No.
No, calm people do not sweat or have nervous tics because they are Zen. These Zen people, Buddhists, right, the Buddhists, they don’t get excited. They probably don’t get hard-ons. Buddhists probably don’t get damp palms and really tight jeans, because hey, they wear, like, togas, and – that’s pretty smart.
Seth should invest in a toga.
Seth should just go and find himself a temporary Pratesi sheet right now, because he is so not Zen. He’s excited. He’s really fucking excited, and jittery, and he can’t think clearly.
Ryan in a towel has reduced Seth’s mental capacity to that of nonexistent, and this is how accidents happen. If Seth were driving and Ryan were in a towel, okay, if Seth were driving and Ryan crossed the street wearing this towel, there would be an accident. A huge, messy, life-altering accident, much like the one about to occur in Seth’s pants, and people who are excited and horny are not calm. They are not Zen.
Seth is not Zen.
Seth is not calm.
Seth has never been Zen a day in his life. Or if he has been or ever had been, it was way before Ryan arrived. Ryan has ended Seth’s Zen. Ryan put the kibosh on Seth’s calm – and this is not a new revelation. This is so not a new thing, and that’s why Ryan won’t think anything of it if Seth just goes tearing out of the guesthouse right now.
Seth does not remember the pool being this close to the guesthouse.
Seth had not planned on going for a swim – but he can go with this.
Maybe his Zen likes to swim.
*
Some people are born to lead. Some people are born to follow. And then there are people like Seth, who prefer to dance to an entirely different rhythm altogether while they’re digging for a new box of Cap’n Crunch in the back of the pantry.
These people who dance to their own rhythm don’t really care what other people think, because they are Zen and cool and calm, and it doesn’t’ matter if they’re caught singing along to an mp3 of ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World.’ After all, Ryan loaded the stupid song onto Seth’s iPod in the first place. It’s his fault that Seth’s singing the stupid song anyway. If he’d come into the kitchen a few seconds earlier, he might’ve caught Seth singing ‘Oh Cherie’ though, and that would’ve been very embarrassing. Or less embarrassing. Not that Seth’s embarrassed about getting caught singing bad 80s songs – he’s much too busy being embarrassed that he shrieked like a girl when Ryan poked him in the ribs with something Seth hopes was his elbow. Whatever it was that Ryan poked Seth with, Seth is not going to dwell on that, because that’s what his imagination is for and with Ryan living in the guesthouse, it’s already too overtaxed.
The best thing for Seth to do is to clean up the boxes he’s spilled on the floor and go watch some ninja flicks, or maybe some Kurosawa, or just anything Japanese that might have some Buddhists in it.
Maybe Seth can borrow their Zen.
*
When they’re stressed, Buddhists meditate.
When their forests are threatened, tree people commune.
When Ryan gets too close, Seth just freaks out.
To each their own.
*
Buddhists have nirvana and reincarnation, and Jews don’t believe in hell, so when Ryan corners Seth in the guest bathroom and Seth begins reciting the Hail Mary’s he’s learned from watching The Sopranos, he really hopes somebody is listening. Seth really doesn’t want to die at the hands of the water polo team because Ryan abandoned him after realizing that Seth’s got a monstrous crush on him. Plus, Seth was just getting the hang of the whole Zen While Around Ryan thing. Or not. Actually, Seth was just making plans to work on his whole chanting and clanging the brass bowl thing. At the very least he was going to light some candles and pull out his ouija board. Except that the end of Seth’s life doesn’t come with a bang or a whimper or a white light that Galadriel gave him the last time he was in Lothlorien, because a) that would be too poetic and b) that would be too easy.
Instead, the end of Seth’s life comes with Ryan’s body crowding him against the edge of the sink and Ryan’s tongue flitting along Seth’s bottom lip before slipping between his lips, because Ryan would only kiss Seth if Seth were dead.
And if Seth’s wrong and he’s really not dead, then he’s really going to need to be calm and Zen and enjoy this, because when he breaks up with Summer so he can go be gay with Ryan, she’s definitely going to kill him.
-end-
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serialkarma
The O.C.
People underestimate the importance of being calm. Calm is good. Calm is Zen. And Seth is both Zen and calm. After all, calm people do not freak out when their best friends wander through their own bedrooms in damp towels, water running in rivulets down their very nicely developed and tanned chests, with -- hey, is that a birthmark on Ryan’s back, right above the towel?
No.
No, calm people do not sweat or have nervous tics because they are Zen. These Zen people, Buddhists, right, the Buddhists, they don’t get excited. They probably don’t get hard-ons. Buddhists probably don’t get damp palms and really tight jeans, because hey, they wear, like, togas, and – that’s pretty smart.
Seth should invest in a toga.
Seth should just go and find himself a temporary Pratesi sheet right now, because he is so not Zen. He’s excited. He’s really fucking excited, and jittery, and he can’t think clearly.
Ryan in a towel has reduced Seth’s mental capacity to that of nonexistent, and this is how accidents happen. If Seth were driving and Ryan were in a towel, okay, if Seth were driving and Ryan crossed the street wearing this towel, there would be an accident. A huge, messy, life-altering accident, much like the one about to occur in Seth’s pants, and people who are excited and horny are not calm. They are not Zen.
Seth is not Zen.
Seth is not calm.
Seth has never been Zen a day in his life. Or if he has been or ever had been, it was way before Ryan arrived. Ryan has ended Seth’s Zen. Ryan put the kibosh on Seth’s calm – and this is not a new revelation. This is so not a new thing, and that’s why Ryan won’t think anything of it if Seth just goes tearing out of the guesthouse right now.
Seth does not remember the pool being this close to the guesthouse.
Seth had not planned on going for a swim – but he can go with this.
Maybe his Zen likes to swim.
Some people are born to lead. Some people are born to follow. And then there are people like Seth, who prefer to dance to an entirely different rhythm altogether while they’re digging for a new box of Cap’n Crunch in the back of the pantry.
These people who dance to their own rhythm don’t really care what other people think, because they are Zen and cool and calm, and it doesn’t’ matter if they’re caught singing along to an mp3 of ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World.’ After all, Ryan loaded the stupid song onto Seth’s iPod in the first place. It’s his fault that Seth’s singing the stupid song anyway. If he’d come into the kitchen a few seconds earlier, he might’ve caught Seth singing ‘Oh Cherie’ though, and that would’ve been very embarrassing. Or less embarrassing. Not that Seth’s embarrassed about getting caught singing bad 80s songs – he’s much too busy being embarrassed that he shrieked like a girl when Ryan poked him in the ribs with something Seth hopes was his elbow. Whatever it was that Ryan poked Seth with, Seth is not going to dwell on that, because that’s what his imagination is for and with Ryan living in the guesthouse, it’s already too overtaxed.
The best thing for Seth to do is to clean up the boxes he’s spilled on the floor and go watch some ninja flicks, or maybe some Kurosawa, or just anything Japanese that might have some Buddhists in it.
Maybe Seth can borrow their Zen.
When they’re stressed, Buddhists meditate.
When their forests are threatened, tree people commune.
When Ryan gets too close, Seth just freaks out.
To each their own.
Buddhists have nirvana and reincarnation, and Jews don’t believe in hell, so when Ryan corners Seth in the guest bathroom and Seth begins reciting the Hail Mary’s he’s learned from watching The Sopranos, he really hopes somebody is listening. Seth really doesn’t want to die at the hands of the water polo team because Ryan abandoned him after realizing that Seth’s got a monstrous crush on him. Plus, Seth was just getting the hang of the whole Zen While Around Ryan thing. Or not. Actually, Seth was just making plans to work on his whole chanting and clanging the brass bowl thing. At the very least he was going to light some candles and pull out his ouija board. Except that the end of Seth’s life doesn’t come with a bang or a whimper or a white light that Galadriel gave him the last time he was in Lothlorien, because a) that would be too poetic and b) that would be too easy.
Instead, the end of Seth’s life comes with Ryan’s body crowding him against the edge of the sink and Ryan’s tongue flitting along Seth’s bottom lip before slipping between his lips, because Ryan would only kiss Seth if Seth were dead.
And if Seth’s wrong and he’s really not dead, then he’s really going to need to be calm and Zen and enjoy this, because when he breaks up with Summer so he can go be gay with Ryan, she’s definitely going to kill him.
-end-
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serialkarma
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<laughing hysterically>
Date: 2004-04-08 12:04 pm (UTC)