Are we still calling it crackfic?
Jun. 17th, 2004 10:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveMusic News: Johnathan Rice. 20-something from Glasgow.* Sounds the way John Mayer used to before he was 'discovered' and his head became too big for the rest of his body. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bezzy check him out. Also, I have mad love for Rachel Yamagata, who is not only very pretty, but sounds like Fiona Apple. Fiona, where'd you go?
*Also, did I mention the Scottish part? Yeah, I’m not sure how I feel about his music yet, but he could talk to me for a while and I wouldn't mind.
Apparently circe_tigana wants some Billy/Dom, but I want to use that title for a Smallville story I’m writing. Mebbe I’ll slap together some angst for her anyway, but she’ll have to wait until I burn out on crack-fic first. lalejandra's got that shit on lockdown.
Forserialkarma and lalejandra, who enable me better than any dealers, here's a wee bit more Also Known As. It’s so damn crackilicious! And smutty. I love The Pretty.
Harry Potter/Alias
Also Known As (part something or other)
Julian returned from his business trip three days later with a large, purple bruise marring his left-eye and stitches along his jaw line. Neville would’ve been worried except he was a bit busy at the time pruning a shipment of Everreds at the kitchen table. He couldn’t very well focus on his lover when he was doing his best not to let a plant latch onto him and suck all the blood from his body. Except that the clunk of heavy luggage by the front door momentarily diverted his attention from the pot in front of him, and he slapped at the plant forcefully to keep it from winding its suckers around his wrist.
Neville glanced over briefly as Julian crossed the sitting room where Neville stood, and keeping one eye on the plant, he distractedly leaned into the gloved hand Julian ran over his head.
Neville had never been very much of a fetishist, but there was a certain appeal of feeling Julian-in-leather against his exposed skin.
“Good trip?” Neville inquired perfunctorily as Julian pressed himself against Neville’s back and slipped his hands under the grimy, gray tee shirt. Neville twitched as gloved fingers brushed against his nipples.
“It went as expected,” Julian said.
“And you ‘expected’ to come back looking as though you’d lost a round with a drunken troll?” Neville didn’t even realise he was smirking until he caught sight of Julian’s frown in his periphery.
“You find yourself amusing, do you?” Julian asked. Neville just shrugged, and jumped when Julian nipped his neck sharply at the same time that he twisted his nipples.
“Point taken,” Neville said.
“I should think so,” Julian replied as his hands slipped down to stroke Neville’s stomach. “What is that?” he asked, slipping a hand from underneath Neville’s shirt and reaching out for the shiny, red leaves Neville was carefully inspecting.
“An Everred.”
“I’ve never heard of it – is it… my god, is it sentient?” he said as the plant noticeably leaned towards his outstretched hand.
“No,” Neville said, whacking the plant into submission, “but it’s attracted to warm-blooded animals. It lives on their blood.”
“And you brought it into the flat?” Julian’s amused tone spoke volumes, but Neville felt the shudder that ran through his body. “Is there something you would like to share with me, Neville? Anything else around here that might decide to have me for starters?”
“Apart from me? No. Although considering all the heavy machinery and guests you’ve invited home, I don’t necessarily think you should be pointing wands at anyone.”
“Is that a euphemism?” Julian asked as he slid a hand towards the front of Neville’s trousers.
“Not necessarily, but it could be.”
Neville made a non-committal noise as the gloved hand slipped under the waistband of his jeans.
“Is keeping plants part of being a wizard?” Julian asked as he held the other gloved hand to Neville’s mouth.
There was a moment when Neville began to have tremendously kinky thoughts about what he could do with the glove, but he settled for tugging it off with his teeth and spitting it onto the table.
“You mean is keeping one a requirement?” he asked as Julian’s hands returned to insinuating themselves between Neville and his trousers. The difference between the cool leather and Julian’s warm skin made it very hard for Neville to focus on the conversation and the plant.
“Not unless you’ve been practicing dodgy magic, it isn’t. Most wizards don’t really care for Herbology, unless they’re sick or in need of a potion.”
“A potion. Neville, are you honestly expecting me to believe that you’re a proper wizard? That there are such a thing as wizards and witches and warlocks? As a follower of Rambaldi I’ve seen many things, but this is a bit much.”
Neville made a grunting noise as a gloved hand wrapped around his dick and began stroking -- and to think Julian had once complained about the looseness of his favorite jeans. “It’s not something I learned on course if that’s what you mean.”
“I see, and how does one become a wizard?” Julian’s breath was hot and damp against Neville’s neck, and Neville’s lids drooped dramatically as he tried to thrust into the circle of Julian’s hand. He just barely stopped the plants suckers from attaching themselves to the exposed skin of his stomach.
“It’s – it’s something you’re born to,” he stuttered as warm fingers combed through the damp hair around his cock.
“I was born to 850 million pounds, but it’s not something I have anymore. How have I not seen you magicking people to death before? Aren’t you supposed to run about with a big pointy hat?”
“No, just a big pointy wand, which is in my back pocket. Would you hand it to me?” Julian’s breathing only stuttered for a brief moment, but Neville felt it against the back of his neck.
“I’d like to stun the plant before we shag on the table if it’s all the same to you,” he clarified.
“Ah, of course. Can’t have the plant sucking you dry before I do.”
“I plan to hold you to that,” Neville said.
“Feel free, I wouldn’t want to upset the most powerful man I know.”
Neville twitched as Julian’s hand tightened around his cock, and he shivered when Julian licked a stripe up his neck. “No, we wouldn’t want to upset anyone at all -- so who’s this Rambaldi bloke then when he's at home?”
-end-
Because there's just not enough smutty crack!fic in the world
bezzy check him out. Also, I have mad love for Rachel Yamagata, who is not only very pretty, but sounds like Fiona Apple. Fiona, where'd you go?*Also, did I mention the Scottish part? Yeah, I’m not sure how I feel about his music yet, but he could talk to me for a while and I wouldn't mind.
circe_tigana wants some Billy/Dom, but I want to use that title for a Smallville story I’m writing. Mebbe I’ll slap together some angst for her anyway, but she’ll have to wait until I burn out on crack-fic first. lalejandra's got that shit on lockdown. For
serialkarma and lalejandra, who enable me better than any dealers, here's a wee bit more Also Known As. It’s so damn crackilicious! And smutty. I love The Pretty.Harry Potter/Alias
Also Known As (part something or other)
Julian returned from his business trip three days later with a large, purple bruise marring his left-eye and stitches along his jaw line. Neville would’ve been worried except he was a bit busy at the time pruning a shipment of Everreds at the kitchen table. He couldn’t very well focus on his lover when he was doing his best not to let a plant latch onto him and suck all the blood from his body. Except that the clunk of heavy luggage by the front door momentarily diverted his attention from the pot in front of him, and he slapped at the plant forcefully to keep it from winding its suckers around his wrist.
Neville glanced over briefly as Julian crossed the sitting room where Neville stood, and keeping one eye on the plant, he distractedly leaned into the gloved hand Julian ran over his head.
Neville had never been very much of a fetishist, but there was a certain appeal of feeling Julian-in-leather against his exposed skin.
“Good trip?” Neville inquired perfunctorily as Julian pressed himself against Neville’s back and slipped his hands under the grimy, gray tee shirt. Neville twitched as gloved fingers brushed against his nipples.
“It went as expected,” Julian said.
“And you ‘expected’ to come back looking as though you’d lost a round with a drunken troll?” Neville didn’t even realise he was smirking until he caught sight of Julian’s frown in his periphery.
“You find yourself amusing, do you?” Julian asked. Neville just shrugged, and jumped when Julian nipped his neck sharply at the same time that he twisted his nipples.
“Point taken,” Neville said.
“I should think so,” Julian replied as his hands slipped down to stroke Neville’s stomach. “What is that?” he asked, slipping a hand from underneath Neville’s shirt and reaching out for the shiny, red leaves Neville was carefully inspecting.
“An Everred.”
“I’ve never heard of it – is it… my god, is it sentient?” he said as the plant noticeably leaned towards his outstretched hand.
“No,” Neville said, whacking the plant into submission, “but it’s attracted to warm-blooded animals. It lives on their blood.”
“And you brought it into the flat?” Julian’s amused tone spoke volumes, but Neville felt the shudder that ran through his body. “Is there something you would like to share with me, Neville? Anything else around here that might decide to have me for starters?”
“Apart from me? No. Although considering all the heavy machinery and guests you’ve invited home, I don’t necessarily think you should be pointing wands at anyone.”
“Is that a euphemism?” Julian asked as he slid a hand towards the front of Neville’s trousers.
“Not necessarily, but it could be.”
Neville made a non-committal noise as the gloved hand slipped under the waistband of his jeans.
“Is keeping plants part of being a wizard?” Julian asked as he held the other gloved hand to Neville’s mouth.
There was a moment when Neville began to have tremendously kinky thoughts about what he could do with the glove, but he settled for tugging it off with his teeth and spitting it onto the table.
“You mean is keeping one a requirement?” he asked as Julian’s hands returned to insinuating themselves between Neville and his trousers. The difference between the cool leather and Julian’s warm skin made it very hard for Neville to focus on the conversation and the plant.
“Not unless you’ve been practicing dodgy magic, it isn’t. Most wizards don’t really care for Herbology, unless they’re sick or in need of a potion.”
“A potion. Neville, are you honestly expecting me to believe that you’re a proper wizard? That there are such a thing as wizards and witches and warlocks? As a follower of Rambaldi I’ve seen many things, but this is a bit much.”
Neville made a grunting noise as a gloved hand wrapped around his dick and began stroking -- and to think Julian had once complained about the looseness of his favorite jeans. “It’s not something I learned on course if that’s what you mean.”
“I see, and how does one become a wizard?” Julian’s breath was hot and damp against Neville’s neck, and Neville’s lids drooped dramatically as he tried to thrust into the circle of Julian’s hand. He just barely stopped the plants suckers from attaching themselves to the exposed skin of his stomach.
“It’s – it’s something you’re born to,” he stuttered as warm fingers combed through the damp hair around his cock.
“I was born to 850 million pounds, but it’s not something I have anymore. How have I not seen you magicking people to death before? Aren’t you supposed to run about with a big pointy hat?”
“No, just a big pointy wand, which is in my back pocket. Would you hand it to me?” Julian’s breathing only stuttered for a brief moment, but Neville felt it against the back of his neck.
“I’d like to stun the plant before we shag on the table if it’s all the same to you,” he clarified.
“Ah, of course. Can’t have the plant sucking you dry before I do.”
“I plan to hold you to that,” Neville said.
“Feel free, I wouldn’t want to upset the most powerful man I know.”
Neville twitched as Julian’s hand tightened around his cock, and he shivered when Julian licked a stripe up his neck. “No, we wouldn’t want to upset anyone at all -- so who’s this Rambaldi bloke then when he's at home?”
-end-
Because there's just not enough smutty crack!fic in the world
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2004-06-17 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-17 11:22 am (UTC)Oh, i really should not be reading this shit at work. What have i wrought?
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Date: 2004-06-17 01:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-17 11:25 am (UTC)http://www.shoe-whore.com/gallery/album06
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Date: 2004-06-17 12:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-17 01:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-17 01:59 pm (UTC)OH MY GOD YOU KILL ME!
Dead.
I am dead.
who’s this Rimbaldi bloke then when he's at home?
Oh, goodness, Neville, do you have about eight years for the exposition?
“I was born to 850 million pounds, but it’s not something I have anymore. How have I not seen you magicking people to death before? Aren’t you supposed to run about with a big pointy hat?”
I choked on my orange right here. Ha. Sark is my boyfriend. I've decided.
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Date: 2004-06-17 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-17 02:03 pm (UTC)I'm going to OD soon.
Date: 2004-06-17 04:13 pm (UTC)Julian's irritation at the interruption was clear. "If you could manage to hold still," he began.
"The table is poking me in inappropriate places," Neville pointed out. "Also, your glove has taken on a mind of it's own, and it's wedged itself..."
Neville's voice dropped off dramatically, and Julian lifted his head to look at him properly.
"My glove has gone where?"
Neville mumbled again.
"Pardon?"
"I said, it's gotten wedged between the table and my bum!" Neville shouted.
Julian blinked while Neville coloured.
"Is there something you'd like to tell me about your predilection for my gloves?"
"No, not really."
Julian's raised eyebrow said plenty.
"Well, possibly," Neville corrected.
Julian remained silent.
"I tossed off with them once," Neville confessed. "But it won't happen again."
"Not unless I'm watching, it won't," Julian corrected.
Re: I'm going to OD soon.
Date: 2004-06-17 05:42 pm (UTC)also, *guh*
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Date: 2004-06-17 03:34 pm (UTC)Have I mentioned you rock?
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Date: 2004-06-17 04:15 pm (UTC)p.s. I just wrote a wee snippet more (http://www.livejournal.com/users/hackthis/220613.html?thread=3903429#t3903429).
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Date: 2004-06-17 03:47 pm (UTC)Also, she was completely drunk at the time, so anybody that can sing like that AND play the piano after countless beers gets my vote. She kept rambling about how she wasn't wearing a bra and how her ex-boyfriend was probably fucking his new girlfriend in her apartment while she was on tour, and we were all cracking up.
Plus, she came out to the parking lot after the show and was really friendly and cool.
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Date: 2004-06-18 10:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-17 06:43 pm (UTC)who is not only very pretty, but sounds like Fiona Apple. Fiona, where'd you go?
I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that she's got a new album due out later this year. Nice and vague, eh?
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Date: 2004-06-18 10:27 am (UTC)Yay!
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Date: 2004-06-17 08:53 pm (UTC)*dead*
Date: 2004-06-18 12:52 am (UTC)I have no idea why Neville/Sark works so well, but I think you've given me a new OTP.
Absolutely brilliant.
Re: *dead*
Date: 2004-06-18 10:27 am (UTC)