Drabble: Easy
Jul. 10th, 2002 03:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archive~ * ~
1-2-3-4 everything is beautiful
5-6-7-8 gotta love to learn to hate
A-B-C-D I’m a little cold machine
L-O-V-E is gonna be the death of me
-Whiskeytown
*
It’s easy for other people to bruise, but not Lex. That’s what tells him that Clark Kent is special: Clark's ability to hurt Lex, to mark him. Clark Kent makes it all look easy, and the purplish-green bruises he gave Lex are sealing Lex’s fate even now.
Lex thinks his bruises are beautiful. The way they feel when he runs his fingers over them, sore and sensitive, a dry ache underneath fluttering skin and a craving that's not dying anytime soon.
Lex’s bruises are a promise of more, of potential, and he wants to be paid in full. Lex wants friendship and ownership and Clark kneeling beside him offering to teach him how to fly.
Lex wants to be saved and bruised and he wants more. He wants Clark Kent and his strength and his CPR techniques that bring Lex back to life.
He's not expecting it to be easy.
*
Jealousy isn’t rational, it’s an easy emotion. Easy to acquire, hard to lose.
Despite all appearances to the contrary, Lex has never been above jealousy. He’s never been above being petty when the occasion called for it. Clark always seems to call for it, and Lex has been happily able to loathe Lana Lang for her insipid and inspired beauty for several months. When the time comes to transfer that loathing onto Chloe Sullivan he’ll able to do it without blinking.
It’s easy. Just as easy as being jealous of Julian.
*
It’s easy for Lex to hate Clark's choices.
It’s easy for Lex to dismiss Clark’s youthful exuberance and desire for perky little girls his own age. Lex has no problem convincing himself that Clark is young and will get over his infatuations. It’s easy for Lex to think this year after year of friendship and lies and hoping and waiting.
It's easy to believe when Lex wants Clark so badly.
It’s easy for Lex to watch Clark go through four years of college and his internship at the Daily Planet. It’s easy for Lex to watch Clark succeed while Lex tells himself to be patient. That he will have his day, Clark's day.
It’s easy for Lex to shut himself off inside while he waits for *their* day.
*
It’s not easy for Lex to see Clark in red and blue spandex on the front page of the Inquisitor. It’s not easy to see him with Lois Lane and watch Clark’s face drop into a mask that Lex taught him how to wear.
It’s not easy to love Clark Kent. After all these years of everything being so simple, Lex can't keep up the pretense anymore.
One of them will have to die.
1-2-3-4 everything is beautiful
5-6-7-8 gotta love to learn to hate
A-B-C-D I’m a little cold machine
L-O-V-E is gonna be the death of me
-Whiskeytown
*
It’s easy for other people to bruise, but not Lex. That’s what tells him that Clark Kent is special: Clark's ability to hurt Lex, to mark him. Clark Kent makes it all look easy, and the purplish-green bruises he gave Lex are sealing Lex’s fate even now.
Lex thinks his bruises are beautiful. The way they feel when he runs his fingers over them, sore and sensitive, a dry ache underneath fluttering skin and a craving that's not dying anytime soon.
Lex’s bruises are a promise of more, of potential, and he wants to be paid in full. Lex wants friendship and ownership and Clark kneeling beside him offering to teach him how to fly.
Lex wants to be saved and bruised and he wants more. He wants Clark Kent and his strength and his CPR techniques that bring Lex back to life.
He's not expecting it to be easy.
*
Jealousy isn’t rational, it’s an easy emotion. Easy to acquire, hard to lose.
Despite all appearances to the contrary, Lex has never been above jealousy. He’s never been above being petty when the occasion called for it. Clark always seems to call for it, and Lex has been happily able to loathe Lana Lang for her insipid and inspired beauty for several months. When the time comes to transfer that loathing onto Chloe Sullivan he’ll able to do it without blinking.
It’s easy. Just as easy as being jealous of Julian.
*
It’s easy for Lex to hate Clark's choices.
It’s easy for Lex to dismiss Clark’s youthful exuberance and desire for perky little girls his own age. Lex has no problem convincing himself that Clark is young and will get over his infatuations. It’s easy for Lex to think this year after year of friendship and lies and hoping and waiting.
It's easy to believe when Lex wants Clark so badly.
It’s easy for Lex to watch Clark go through four years of college and his internship at the Daily Planet. It’s easy for Lex to watch Clark succeed while Lex tells himself to be patient. That he will have his day, Clark's day.
It’s easy for Lex to shut himself off inside while he waits for *their* day.
*
It’s not easy for Lex to see Clark in red and blue spandex on the front page of the Inquisitor. It’s not easy to see him with Lois Lane and watch Clark’s face drop into a mask that Lex taught him how to wear.
It’s not easy to love Clark Kent. After all these years of everything being so simple, Lex can't keep up the pretense anymore.
One of them will have to die.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-07-11 12:32 am (UTC)One of them will have to die.
Thanks for giving me my angst fix. Sigh.
no subject
Date: 2002-07-11 12:33 pm (UTC)oh, i have a problem, don't i?
no subject
Date: 2002-07-28 09:54 pm (UTC)