hackthis_archive | ds - Like a Lifestyle Choice

I was going to write, like, something else, but whatever. It's Hangover Day; I can do whatever the hell I want.

due South
Like a Lifestyle Choice

1, 2, 3, turn.

1, 2, 3, turn.

Most people don’t lock themselves in their bathrooms when they have company.

Not that Fraser’s really company, but still.

1, 2, 3, turn.

At least Ray doesn’t think most people lock themselves in their bathrooms when they have company, but most people don’t get to have Fraser for company, so yeah. Ray bets that if more people had Fraser for company they’d probably lock themselves in their bathrooms and pace, too.

Fraser-exposure does that to people.

1, 2, 3...

"Ray?"

A muffled voice from one side of the door. A pause in movement on the other side.

"Be out in a minute, Frase, err, Ben, err… Just gimme a minute."

1, 2, 3, turn.

"Ah. Are you sure you’re all right?“

“I’m good, greatness."

“I could just leave--”

“No! No, don’t -- don’t do that. I just. Gimme a sec, okay?”

Another pause.

“If you‘re sure, Ray.”

“I’m sure. I’m sure I’m sure, I just, um, how about you make us some tea?”

“I could do that.”

"That would be -- thanks, Fraser."

Silence.

Peace.

Time to recommence the pacing.

1, 2, 3... Where did he stash those cigarettes again?

1, 2, 3... Fuck fucking fuck they're in his bedroom, stashed under the porn in his night table.

1, 2, 3...

He's making himself dizzy. He needs to sit down.

He needs to remember to put the toilet seat down first.

He needs to stop hiding in his bathroom too, but he can't help himself. He's confused. He needs to think it out.

Okay, he's more than a little confused; he's baffled, which is such a Fraser word, but that's totally what he is. Ray is really fucking baffled, but not about the bathroom. It's a bathroom, it's where he hangs his damp towels and jerks off in the morning so that the shower can wash away his frustrations. His bathroom is where he keeps his dirty clothes hamper and his briefs are always on the floor until Fraser comes over and makes 'tsking' noises and tidies up without being asked.

And how kinky is that?

Fraser cleaning up his bathroom and touching his briefs -- but Fraser probably wouldn't know kink if it bit him on the nose. Not that Ray would bite Fraser on the nose, but he might bite that really full lower lip, or maybe his earlobe, or his shoulder or his fingers... Ray wouldn't mind biting Fraser's fingers. He wouldn't mind sucking on Fraser's fingers either, which is obviously why he's locked himself in the bathroom, because he finally has the chance to do just that, and he's freaking out.

Yes, he's quietly freaking out in his bathroom, which is obviously why he's gone back to the pacing.

1, 2, 3... Oh god, what’s he doing?

This is Fraser. This is Benton. This is that guy who talks to his half-deaf wolf, as opposed to locking himself in his bathroom and freaking out.

Christ.

1, 2...

Ray always thought he was so straight. ‘He’ meaning Ben, Fraser, not him. No, Ray's never been so great with tags. It's probably why he did so badly in Freshman Psychology. He never understood why the prof always wanted to say that Jane was bi-polar or Sarah was depressed or that Ray was gay.

Not that the professor said Ray was gay, because hey, Ray was in love with Stella in college. He was not repressed, Mr I'm So Much Smarter Than You Because This Piece of Paper Says So.

No, Ray’s never been repressed. He just thought he’d kept himself in better check, except that if Ray’d been keeping himself in check then there’s no way Fraser would’ve just tried to kiss him. Well, not tried, more like succeeded, except for that thing where Ray ran and locked himself in the bathroom.

1, 2...

No, Ray's never been repressed. He just thinks that you fall in love with a person, not their sexuality, or your sexuality or whatever. So maybe there's really nothing to be confused about. It's love, not a lifestyle choice, and maybe he's being a hypocrite by hiding in his bathroom, because if Fraser wants to kiss him again, then Ray should be cool with it.

1...

He is cool with it.

2...

There’s nothing to freak out about.

3...

Turn...

Creak.

1...2...3...4...5...

"Fraser? You made that tea yet?"

"No, not yet, why?"

"Maybe we can have it later?"

"Oh. Ah. Of course we can."

“Good, can we try the kissing thing again?”

“If you’d like.”

A pause. A thought. “I’d like, I’d definitely like.”

-end-

Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: Jim White 'Static on the Radio'