The O.C.- Emotional Cripples R’Us

[hackthis_archive]

lalejandra, like, triple-dog dared me to write this, and then clarity_g made icons for the new season, and who was I to fight it?

The O.C.
Seth/Ryan
Emotional Cripples R’Us



It never actually occurred to Seth that Ryan wouldn't come back home. Sure there was the matter of the baby and Theresa and all that, but Seth never really thought that would stop Ryan, because Ryan was like Batman and nothing ever stopped Batman.


*


Of course, it wasn't like Seth had been planning to come back to Newport himself because he was going to go to Tahiti -- but the catamaran couldn't hold all his comic books without sinking, and he hadn't been able to take his iMac with him or his surfboard or his skateboard. Of course he'd taken Captain Oats, because Seth never made a move without Captain Oats, but even Captain Oats wanted to go home after a few days at sea. He said he missed Princess Sparkle, and Seth had to concur. He missed Summer, but he missed Ryan more, and even though Seth was in trouble like he'd never seen when he got home, in a way it was okay, because eventually Ryan would come back to Newport and laugh at Seth, and then they would go biking and boarding or to the Crab Shack, and that would be that.

Summer would forgive Seth if he begged and begged and slept outside on her lawn long enough, and Marissa, well, Seth didn't want to think about Marissa, because she gave him a headache.

Anyway, Marissa wasn't the point.

The point was that Seth never really and truly thought that Ryan was gone.

Sure Ryan wasn't living in the guesthouse anymore, and okay, all his possessions were gone, but those were just things; and maybe Seth was a freak because he wouldn't even let Rosa change the sheets in the guesthouse, but it wasn't like anybody was actually sleeping in the bed. It was Ryan's bed, and he was going to come home, and Seth wanted everything to be just the way he’d left it.


*


The first phone call was the hardest because Theresa answered the phone, and Seth could hear her pause when he asked to speak to Ryan, and if she had blown him off, he might’ve done something really unmanly like begged, and he preferred to beg only when sex and/or Summer were involved.

Eventually, though, Theresa put Ryan on the phone and it wasn’t like Seth was expecting them to have a five-hour exchange, especially since Ryan had never been one for conversation, but it really was enough to hear Ryan breathing and the scratchy “Hello?”

It took Seth a few seconds to respond because Ryan sounded so far away and that wasn’t right at all, but the words were right there on the tip of his tongue.

“Dude, Ry, when are you coming home?”


*


Seth really believed that Ryan was going to come home.

It would just take a little time.

He didn't necessarily want Theresa to lose the baby, but -- but that was kind of the only way. Unless Ryan suddenly declared his undying love for Newport and left. But Seth knew that wouldn't happen.


*


Minutes became hours and days, and weeks turned into months, and they talked on the phone every now and then, but it wasn’t the same as having Ryan living twenty feet away. The one time Seth drove to Chino, he got lost and wound up being three hours late. Ryan had to work the late-shift at his contracting job, so basically Seth drove four hours just to drop Ryan off at work and say good-bye.

The entire drive back to Newport, he told himself it was better than nothing.


*


School started up again, and Ryan was still in Chino. It was all wrong, but Seth had faith, because the truth was something he just didn’t want to face.

His mom didn't want to talk about it and his dad didn't want to talk about either, so Seth watched his dad watching his mom drinking herself into a wine-induced stupor and nobody wanted to talk about when Ryan was going to come home.

Well, that wasn't strictly true, Summer was more than willing to talk about 'how stupid Chino was for knocking up that nobody from back home' but that wasn't really what Seth wanted to talk about.

There was no way he was going to talk to Marissa either, because she was even more of a drunk than his mom, which unfortunately, was really saying something.


*


The day Ryan sent a copy of the sonogram – it was a girl – was the day that everything began to fall apart, because the sonogram made the baby real, and Seth knew that Ryan didn’t abandon real people.

It just wasn’t something that Ryan did –- except that Ryan had abandoned Seth, and he was a person too.


*


Seth saw the invitation for the baby shower on the kitchen counter, almost hidden by the bagels and an empty wine bottle. It was made out to ‘The Cohens’ but there was no way that Seth was going to go.

His mom did though.

She went down to Goldcoast Plaza and cleaned out the department store of Burberry booties and Gucci one-piece thingys, but Seth just couldn’t understand spending all that money on someone who was just going to outgrow it in a matter of weeks, because that’s what babies did. He’d seen it all on the TLC.


*

The day of the shower, Summer and Marissa came to the house to catch a ride with his mom and his dad, because his mom had insisted that his dad come along to support Ryan. Seth watched his mom fix herself a screwdriver in one of those metal coffee cups and tried to ignore Summer when she called him an emotional cripple who couldn’t survive without Ryan at all.

She’d become really sarcastic since he’d come back from Tahiti and found her dating that jock.


*


The baby was born on a Friday, and Seth drove up the following week to see her, Eva Marie Torres Atwood. Ryan came to the door with a white cloth over one shoulder, holding this little pink mass that was the tiniest thing that Seth had ever seen. He was pretty sure that Captain Oats had a few inches on her at least, and it was then, seeing the circles around Ryan’s eyes and the smile on his face when he looked at the baby that the truth hit Seth really hard.

It didn’t matter if the baby was Ryan’s or not, he was her father now, and his place was wherever she was; not back in Newport with Seth at all.


-end-

Comments

[wordsaremyfaith.livejournal.com]

That was really, really painful. But in a good way. If you know what I mean. Actually, I don't know if I even know what I mean, so never mind.

Loved this:
It just wasn’t something that Ryan did –- except that Ryan had abandoned Seth, and he was a person too.

Am deeply hating you right now. But fantastic writing - it was way too believable. I could completely see Seth thinking all of this.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

That was really, really painful. But in a good way. If you know what I mean. Actually, I don't know if I even know what I mean, so never mind.

*snicker*

I think I get the gist of your message.

[wordsaremyfaith.livejournal.com]

Okay. I think it was, basically, you are a wonderful writer and this story hurts, damn it. Yeah. That was what I was saying.