hackthis_archive | dS - Things to Do in the Copy Room of the 27th Precinct

I have this Big Gulp sized Coke on my desk which is bad because I don't normally drink soda, and especially not with caffeine. Anyroad, I set out to entertain

serialkarma, and I freely admit that there's no other redeeming value.

due South
Ray K/Fraser
Things to Do in the Copy Room of the 27th Precinct

There was a perfectly good excuse for Ray sitting on the copier, xeroxing his ass, and as soon as he thought of it he was going to give it to Fraser. The excuse, not the copies of his ass, although Fraser could totally have those if he wanted.

Hell, Fraser could have the real thing if he wanted.

Of course Ray's ass was kind of scrawny and bony, and as pale as a full moon, which was probably why it was called mooning anyway, but he was getting off topic.

"I can explain this," he said, jumping off the copier quickly.

The lid slammed down without Ray's back supporting it, and he flinched. Fraser just stared. Which was bad, because Fraser did a lot of things, but he didn't generally stare. He was too polite; staring was much more of a Ray thing.

"I know how this looks, but it's not like that."

"On the contrary, Ray, I'm not terribly certain how this looks. You were just having a temporary respite on the copier, right?"

"Respite? No, I can breathe real good."

"I meant you were resting on the copier."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was totally resting. I don't know how all those copies got made."

Fraser made a 'hmm'ing sound, and Ray stepped back as Fraser stepped forward, but Ray ran out of space before Fraser stopped the Canadian invasion, and his ass complained when it was poked by the copier.

"I, uh, I was testin' the copier, because it wasn't workin’ real good."

"Indeed," Fraser said reaching around Ray into the copier's top tray and picking up several pieces of paper. "And these?" he said flipping though the copies one by one.

"Those -- those are, um, copies."

"Of?"

Fraser's face was expressionless, but Ray knew when he was being messed with. "My ass, Frase, they're pictures of my ass. Say it with me, ‘Ray Kowalski takes pictures of his bony ass when he's bored’."

Fraser's mouth turned up as he parroted Ray's words. "Ray Kowalski takes picture of his very nice ass when he's bored."

Ray blinked; Fraser continued onward with his appraisal of Ray's copies.

"You think I have a nice ass?" Ray asked.

Fraser glanced up briefly. "Absolutely. I don't consider myself an expert --"

"Well there's a first," Ray interjected.

"But as far as my aesthetic tastes go, then yes."

"What does static have to do with my ass?"

"Aesthetic, Ray, it means 'appreciation regarding beauty or good taste'."

Ray looked down at the floor and then up at Fraser. He looked left and right and then over Fraser's shoulder. "Okay, joke's over, Fraser; you were real funny there. You almost had me, but I'm better 'an that. Who put you up to this? Dewey? Huey? Where's the camera?"

Fraser blinked, confusion flittering across his features. "I don't --" and then the penny dropped. "You thought I was joking? No, Ray, I'm quite serious. I find your," his voice dropped off slightly," ass nice. Very nice as a matter of fact."

Ray froze.

Fraser had said 'ass' twice in the last five minutes. Either Ray had fried his brain on the copier or Fraser was serious. "You do?"

Fraser nodded and did that lower lip thing where his tongue darted out and back; it made Ray's eyes cross. "And you meant that other thing too?"

Fraser was breathing on Ray's face, and he was making it hard for Ray to have a coherent thought. Ray really wanted to step back or something, but there wasn't any room and his ass was already too intimate with the copy machine. "You really think I have good aesthetics?"

Fraser's smile made Ray's stomach drop into his shoes. "I think -- I think you're beautiful."

If Ray weren't so busy lifting his jaw off the floor; he probably would've felt a bit insulted. Men weren't beautiful; women were beautiful, the Goat was beautiful, Ray just had a bony ass and spiky hair.

Fraser though, Fraser was... yeah, Fraser was beautiful.

But that was Fraser, and he was a freak.

"You been sniffin' car fumes or something, Fraser?" Ray's voice was a bit wobbly, which went well with the state of his knees, and when Fraser leaned forward Ray's eyes closed without his consent.

He could feel Fraser in his personal space. He could smell him and feel his body heat. Hell, Fraser was breathing on him and it felt good. Really good. So Ray waited.

And waited.

And then he waited some more.

Finally he cracked open one eye and scowled. "Any day now, Fraser," he said crossing his arms across his chest.

Fraser ran his thumb over his eyebrow. "I'm sorry, Ray, I just needed to put your copies down. Were you waiting on something?"

Ray rolled his eyes and grabbed a fist full of red serge, propelling Fraser forward. Fraser’s hands landed on the copier on either side of Ray’s hips, and Fraser's eyes widened when they bumped noses.

"I'm gonna kiss you now," Ray began, "and if that's not a good idea or you think it won't work for you aesthetically speaking you should say somethin' now.”

Fraser seemed to have a little difficulty nodding his head with the death grip Ray had on his uniform, but he didn’t actually try to pull away, which Ray thought was a good thing.

Ray closed his eyes again and leaned forward, and his lips brushed against Fraser’s mouth once, twice, before Fraser got with the program.

Fraser’s lips parted at the same time that Ray felt hands seeking purchase on his ass, and Ray twitched at the same time that Fraser squeezed.

Fraser groping his ass made it hard for Ray to concentrate on just the kissing, but he made a valiant effort, brushing Fraser’s tongue with his own and releasing his hold on Fraser’s serge to entangle his fingers in Fraser’ hair.

Fraser’s tongue was thick in Ray’s mouth, and Ray made a noise when Fraser pulled his mouth away without removing his hands.

Reluctantly Ray opened his eyes, and his heart tripped as Fraser licked his top lip thoughtfully. “Perhaps the copy room isn’t the best location for this, Ray,” he said and Ray’s face went through a series of emotions as he looked over Fraser’s shoulder at a closed door.

“You closed that door, right?” he asked, his heart beating shallowly in his chest.

“Of course I did, I didn’t think it would look good if people were to find out that you were wasting the department’s resources by making photocopies of your posterior.”

Ray took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “Is this the part where you lecture me about wasting paper?”

Fraser looked thoughtful for a moment. “Perhaps later,” he said, releasing his grip on Ray and picking up the copied evidence. “If you can convince me that copying your ass is in my best interests.”

Ray smirked. “Fraser, my friend, looking after my ass is always in your interest.”

-end-

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: John Mellencamp ‘Jack & Diane’ (o_O)