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I Am a Liberal. There, I Said It!
Mar. 13th, 2006 12:26 pmAri was still basking in the Oscar afterglow when George sent him the blackberry text. The post-Oscars euphoria was a week old, but Ari planned to ride that bitch until it broke down and he had to call AAA.
I wrote a column. There -- I said it. -- G
Ari squinted because Crackberry or not, the font size was smaller than Fred Durst's dick, which was such an unpleasant thought that he got distracted and had to go sexually harass Weiss and Fields in the mailroom to get over it. He didn't think much of George's message, because George said shit all the time.
That was George's whole problem.
When Ari came back to his office, Lloyd was hovering at the elevator banks. "I've been getting all these calls about George's column," he said. "Have you read it? It's really good." Lloyd put all his emphasis on "really" like he tended to whenever he was talking about George. It was the verbal equivalent of Lloyd giving George a blow job, which again, was another image that Ari didn't need.
"What column, you mean the column inches of his dick?" Ari said this because he could. He'd seen George's dick. He knew the routine. "Walk with me."
Lloyd had actually been the second person to profit from George's Oscar win, Ari being the first. The morning after George's Oscar win, which, really, with how long they were out drinking was more like the afternoon after -- Ari called the best escort service in Hollywood and made arrangements for Lloyd to have a little visitor along with the note:
You've blown us to an Oscar, you can let someone else do the work now.
Ari knew how to reward loyalty.
"It's really political," Lloyd added on, hot on Ari's heels. Ari could feel the eyes of his staff on his back. He loved it when he had all the power, it made his dick hard. "People are saying that he's getting ready to run for office -- Oprah and George in 2008."
Ari snorted, stopped, and turned around. "All right, fucktards and plebes, listen up so you can quote this accurately to Mark at Defamer -- George is not running for office this year. George is not running for office next year. I can't make any promises about the year after that, because by then we'll all be richer than god, and we'll just be able to buy the White House like George Bush, but I assure you that when we take over, and we will take over, I'll let each and every one of you suck my dick in the Oval Office, okay?"
I wrote a column. There -- I said it. -- G
Ari squinted because Crackberry or not, the font size was smaller than Fred Durst's dick, which was such an unpleasant thought that he got distracted and had to go sexually harass Weiss and Fields in the mailroom to get over it. He didn't think much of George's message, because George said shit all the time.
That was George's whole problem.
When Ari came back to his office, Lloyd was hovering at the elevator banks. "I've been getting all these calls about George's column," he said. "Have you read it? It's really good." Lloyd put all his emphasis on "really" like he tended to whenever he was talking about George. It was the verbal equivalent of Lloyd giving George a blow job, which again, was another image that Ari didn't need.
"What column, you mean the column inches of his dick?" Ari said this because he could. He'd seen George's dick. He knew the routine. "Walk with me."
Lloyd had actually been the second person to profit from George's Oscar win, Ari being the first. The morning after George's Oscar win, which, really, with how long they were out drinking was more like the afternoon after -- Ari called the best escort service in Hollywood and made arrangements for Lloyd to have a little visitor along with the note:
You've blown us to an Oscar, you can let someone else do the work now.
Ari knew how to reward loyalty.
"It's really political," Lloyd added on, hot on Ari's heels. Ari could feel the eyes of his staff on his back. He loved it when he had all the power, it made his dick hard. "People are saying that he's getting ready to run for office -- Oprah and George in 2008."
Ari snorted, stopped, and turned around. "All right, fucktards and plebes, listen up so you can quote this accurately to Mark at Defamer -- George is not running for office this year. George is not running for office next year. I can't make any promises about the year after that, because by then we'll all be richer than god, and we'll just be able to buy the White House like George Bush, but I assure you that when we take over, and we will take over, I'll let each and every one of you suck my dick in the Oval Office, okay?"
