The death ninja is displeased.

Happy birthday amberlynne!!!

There's nothing like breaking into your own house, because you left your keys before you started setting the locks. And my allergies are all over the map. And I am trying to pretend that I'm not afraid that the new season of Grey's might suck (Come on, Bailey & Preston!) And my LJ keeps defaulting to this new style when I've specifically told it not to. And my sleep is all jacked up between the insomnia and all sorts of dreams you don't ever want to have.

I need happy.

I need… to write a press release.

First Gentleman Refuses to Address Adoption Rumors

Despite persistent rumors circulating through the halls of Capitol Hill, the First Gentleman refused to directly address speculation that the President and he are considering adopting.

"There are plenty of children in our country who are in need of a good home," First Gentleman Anderson Cooper said during an interview with a reporter on Friday. "I think before we start taking other countries children, we should take care of our own, don't you?"

Pundits and gossip columnists suggest that the First Gentleman's deflected answers might be a swipe at the President's Ex-Partner, Brad Pitt, and his ever-expanding, international rainbow tribe.

When pressed about the matter at the weekly press conference, White House Chief of Staff Ari Gold almost fell off of the podium. "Are who doing *what*? Fuck no! Did you see a St Francis of Assisi sign on the wall when you walked in? Do we look like an orphanage? Exactly!

Meanwhile, across town, President Clooney was doing presidential stuff and looking hot. When asked how he manages to look so good while doing such a stressful job, the President just laughed. "Working for the American people is an important job, and one that I enjoy greatly. When I go to France or Darfur or India (places the prior president probably couldn't find on a map) I'm representing my country, you can't represent your country with bags under your eyes and a bad suit on, can you?"