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2005 is looking like a fucking fantastic year already. At least I hope so ::prays to Zeus and God and Crowley and Buddha:: I hope everyone had a fun and safe and illegal New Year, or, uh, something like that. No jail though. Jail is bad. I had lots of fun :D

I have a few left over reccs from pre-unveiling yuletide, so here they are, with authors now attached: Turning 40 by [livejournal.com profile] katta_hj (Four Weddings and a Funeral, yes, I know, whatever, read it anyway); Otis Redmund's Great Whopper by [livejournal.com profile] rrain (Twin Peaks); Caldwell Stories by [livejournal.com profile] zen_of_punk (Ocean's 11); and Fortune's Fool by [livejournal.com profile] darthfox (Romeo and Juliet)

I'm sure I'll have more reccs eventually, but I've been really busy and kind of think I need a holiday from my holiday. Also, while I was away it appears that [livejournal.com profile] circe_tigana had a birthday. Happy Birthday, sweetie! I hope you had a fabulous time and I am thinking on a story for you. Oh, yes.

[Poll #412191]

I wrote Spider-Man for AnyAmy for [livejournal.com profile] yuletide and I want to thank everyone who took the time out to read and comment and recc and whatever else. It means a lot to me that you enjoyed the story so much :) Especially huge thanks to [livejournal.com profile] serialkarma for the joke about the monk and the cell phone and beta duty.

Spider-Man
Wanted: One Hero, At Any Cost





There's a brief moment during the reception, when Harry is yelling at Peter, that Harry thinks he's completely lost his mind. His eyes are tearing up when he hasn't cried in years, and he's shaking so badly that his teeth are rattling in his jaw. He's going to bite through his tongue if he ever stops talking long enough to catch his breath, and his thoughts are swirling bubbles, pickled in champagne and anger.

They were going to be so great together: Peter with the brains and Harry with the money. The Nobel was going to be their prize, but now Harry's dreams have been ruined by Otto's short-sighted egomania and some freak in a costume.

It was never supposed to come to this.

Pete is -- was -- his best friend. Lowly, poor, never-gets-the-girl Peter Parker was so many things that Harry Osborn could never be, and Harry adored him for it. Harry worshipped Peter's cheap clothing and plastic glasses; he smiled at Peter's dorkiness and his inability to talk to Mary-Jane Watson without stuttering and stumbling over the simplest words.

Harry loved Peter for being everything Harry never was, and he put Peter on the highest pedestal of them all: hero. And all Harry wanted in return was one fucking name -- and Peter wouldn't give it to him.

He refused.

No one ever refused an Osborn anything, and Harry just couldn't deal. The idea didn't compute; his mind came unhinged, and he slapped his best friend, his hero, because what else do disappointed people in love do?

They certainly don't accept 'no' as an answer.


*



When Harry Osborn was little he wanted to be a hero just like his father, who was considered 'one of the brightest stars in the race to space' according to Fortune magazine.

Harry wanted to be respected and adored, like his dad; he wanted to have everything that heroes had. Except Harry didn't just want to be a hero -- he wanted to be a superhero, like Batman and Superman and the Green Lantern. He was rich like Bruce Wayne, and he could easily afford to create a lair of his own. He just needed the superpowers or the devastating loss or something to motivate him.

And then his father died -- and that should have been sufficient motivation.

In a way, it was.

Harry picked up the CEO mantle, and he tried to make it fit. He worked to rebuild Oscorp the way his father would've wanted. He created a new board and hired great people. He found Dr. Octavius, and they were going to create something that would've made them, him, a hero to millions of people.

But things didn't quite work out the way Harry thought they would.

He still has a yellowing copy of that Fortune article somewhere in his bedroom, but he hasn't read it in a long time.

It's an old article; Harry wasn't even a teenager when it was written, and he still believed then that there could be things like heroes.

People don't write articles about his dad anymore, but sometimes they write stories about Harry. Most of the time though, they write about him -- Spider-Man -- because everybody's been fooled, even Peter.

But Harry is no one's fool.

Spider-Man is no hero -- he's a murderer. And no one seems to want to see the truth, except Harry, and clearly that's the problem.

People are too busy looking up to this, this freak, to see him for what he really is: a fraud.

Harry knows though that there aren't any heroes anymore. They're all murderers and liars and boys who don't call back when they say they will. When they promise they will.

Harry used to look up to his dad, and he used he looked up to Peter, but Pete -- Pete looks up to Spider-Man, and Harry can't have a hero who respects a murderer.

He just can't.


*



Harry wants to apologize to Peter, but he's not sure how. He's not even sure he has anything to be sorry for. Except for the slapping and the yelling, but Peter's never apologized for all the times he's just disappeared without saying anything. He left Harry alone during the Octavius catastrophe, and that's -- that's not what friends do.


*



Harry's always had everything he could ever want. There was nothing he could conceive that his father wouldn't buy for him, and maybe it's made him a little soft. Maybe it's made him a little spoiled, because he can't understand why Peter won't give him this one thing. Just this name, this face, this one person on a plate. Harry would do anything for Peter, and Peter won't give him this one stupid thing.

His father used warn him that his money wasn't always a great thing, he told Harry that people would be false to him. His father said that people wouldn't like Harry because he was rich and would someday be very powerful. He said that people would always be envious and jealous, but that there was a great difference between the two.

Envy was when you coveted what someone else had; jealousy was when someone else tried to take something that was yours.

His father told him there was nothing Harry couldn't have if he wanted it. He said everything had a price. It was only when Harry started school that he realized what his father meant.

There were things -- people -- that Harry couldn't buy.

That didn't mean Harry couldn't have them, it just meant that there were other forms of currency besides money. Sex, drugs, test answers, tickets to concerts and sports games. Everyone had a price and an angle, and Harry just needed to figure out what it was.

At one point, Harry thought Peter's angle was Mary-Jane Watson, and then Peter went and proved him wrong.


*



In Harry's head they have all these conversations about things. About them.

They never come out the way Harry wants them too.

Peter never feels the same way Harry does: Peter's too straight, too into Mary-Jane, too in love with Spider-Man. And he's never as sorry as he should be.

When Harry kisses him, Peter doesn't kiss him back. He wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand and looks at Harry with pity.

Harry doesn't need anybody's pity.


*



In a way, this is all Peter's fault. Harry would never say this to his face -- actually, yes, he would, he already has, several times in fact, but Peter just won't listen. He won't give Spider-Man up, and it's driving Harry out of his mind, because Harry was there first.

Harry Osborn was Peter Parker's friend when he didn't have any friends. Harry was there when Peter couldn't talk to Mary-Jane Watson; when he couldn't even be around her without making an idiot of himself, and okay, so Harry dated Mary-Jane, but he only did that to smooth the path for Peter.

He only did that because he didn't think he couldn't have Peter, because Peter refused to do what Harry wanted.

Peter's never been like anyone else.

Harry has been nothing but selfless -- introducing Peter to his father and letting Peter take away his father's love and attention. Harry gave Peter a place to stay in the city, a good place, when on his own Peter wouldn't even have been able to afford a broom closet, and this is the thanks that Harry gets.

He goes through all the trouble of landing Otto Octavius, the leading specialist in his field, which Harry doesn't understand at all, but anything that can make Oscorp money is a good thing. But that's not the point -- the point is that Harry did all of these things for Peter, with his well-being and happiness in mind, somewhere, and this is the thanks that Harry gets.

It's just this thing that's come up, Pete says. He can't make it tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. He's really sorry. "I'm really sorry, Harry."

Peter doesn't say he's out with Spider-Man, but Harry knows; sometimes he doesn't even ask. He reads the Daily Bugle just like the rest of the city. He checks the photographer byline.

Of course, Peter doesn't say Harry's been replaced, but maybe he should, and it would be for the best for both of them. Actually, no, the naked truth might things make things even worse. Although Harry's not quite sure how that's possible, because Pete is always sorry and Harry always accepts his apology. Tonight he's ripping up floor seats to the Knicks opening night that he requested a month ago; five months ago it was a trip to the Hamptons.

Two years ago it was the lease to the apartment they shared.

All Harry does is give and all Peter does is take, and it would be so easy for Harry to just give up -- but he's invested all this time and energy and the idea of this freak taking Peter away -- it just makes him see red. The only thing that rankles him more is the loyalty that Peter shows Spider-Man.

That's Harry's loyalty; it belongs to him.

He was there first.


*



Sometimes he picks up the phone to call Peter but he can never really bring himself to dial the last digit, because what would he say now anyway?

You're *my* hero; don't you get that?

All you have to do is give up Spider-Man; is that really so much to ask?

You were mine first; he can't have you.

I love you -- help me.


*



Harry was never the world's best student when he was in school. School was boring and there was a whole world outside the classroom that was so much more interesting than whatever his teacher was talking about at the time.

His father said those who could did, and those couldn't taught, and Harry's father pretty much knew everything, or so Harry thought. He could never be bothered to sit through his classes, he was more interested in the scenery - hot girls and cool guys - than he was in what was happening in his school books.

Nonetheless, he can recall very clearly the day Mr Tomlinson, his Humanities teacher at Andover, which was either the third or the fifth school he was kicked out of, caught him trying to steal the five dollars out of Jack Hanlon's back pocket. It wasn't like Harry needed the money, he was going to give it right back, but Mr Tomlinson caught him and instead of ratting Harry out, he started giving this lecture about the Muslims and Ancient Islamic customs and how thieves used to have their hands cut off for stealing stuff that didn't belong to them.

Mr Tomlinson said it was probably better than having your tongue cut out for telling a lie -- but not by much. Harry didn't say anything; instead he set his hands on his desk where everyone could see them.

Harry Osborn was no thief.

He could buy whatever he wanted.

Except that was then, and this is now, and Spider-Man has something that Harry Osborn can't buy -- Peter -- and it's driving him mad with the unfairness of it all.

Not that Harry has ever been one to dwell on fairness; he knows that most kids didn't get chauffeured around in the family Bentley or spend Spring Break in the Caymans. Harry's all too aware that he has material things that most people can never dream of, and when he grew out of his pick-pocketing-and-being-flashy-stage, he tried to be part of the crowd and hide his Breitling watch underneath the frayed sleeves of the jacket he got in the Village for $23.

Eventually people found out because friends invited friends over after school, and Harry's house was about the same size a small apartment building for most people. But it wasn't his fault -- it was just the way things were, and maybe it wasn't fair, but it wasn't as though Harry rubbed everyone's nose in it either.

He used to try and hide what he was -- but he doesn't do that anymore.

Harry has money and power and prestige -- he can buy anything. He can have homes in Gstaad and Monaco. He can date the most beautiful women in the world -- he can get a prize-winning scientist to meet a lowly college student, but he can't get Peter Parker to return his calls. And Harry would bet his inheritance that Peter never fobs Spider-Man off with some lame excuse about delivering pizzas on time.

Harry used to think that the way to Peter Parker's heart was by being good and honest. He used to think that by playing 'fair,' Peter would see that Harry's money didn't have to come between them. When they started living together, Harry really thought he'd played his cards right.

But then he showed up and ruined everything, and if Spider-Man doesn't play fair then neither does Harry Osborn.


*



Harry loathes and despises Spider-Man, because he killed Harry's father and because he took Peter away. That's it.

Except it's not.

It should be enough, because there is no way Harry harbors any latent ideas of hero-worship or awe over the things that Spider-Man does. Harry doesn't care about the lives saved or the accidents averted. He doesn't wonder what it's like to be saved by Spider-Man or to fly through the city, hanging on by a string or a web or whatever.

No, Harry Osborn would never think anything like that. He doesn't wonder about what Spider-Man does when he's not saving lives and killing fathers. Harry would never waste precious hours of his day guessing what sort of movies Spider-Man likes or what he looks like when he comes. He would never wonder if Spider-Man ever sleeps or feels guilt at all.

No, Harry doesn't have any thoughts about that at all.

All that matters is revenge, vengeance.

He just wants a name, an address. He wants to look Spider-Man in the eye before he kills him. It's just an eye for an eye. One hero for another.

It doesn't matter that Spider-Man wasn't even a blip on Harry's radar until Peter started taking his photos. He's not jealous -- he's not just jealous.

He had Peter first.


*



When Otto comes to him for the trillium, it seems as though Harry's finally found an answer to all of his problems. He doesn't care about the possible consequences of Otto's experiments; he cares about getting rid of the competition.

He cares about revenge.

Once Spider-Man is gone -- Harry can have Peter back. It never even crosses his mind that Peter might not come back. Okay, Harry's made some mistakes, but he's human, he's supposed to make mistakes. And heroes, they make mistakes too, so Harry will forgive Peter for choosing Spider-Man over him.

It seems like Harry's waited his entire life for Peter to trust him enough to give up Spider-Man, and it never even crosses his mind that there's a reason that Peter can't give him that name.

He never thinks that he already knows.

It's only later, when he's holding a cheap, spandex mask in his hand that Harry realizes how much this secret has really cost. There's no scientific breakthrough, no Peter, no father, no Spider-Man.

All the money in the world -- and now, Harry has nothing at all.




-fin-

Date: 2005-01-03 05:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] plumsnickety.livejournal.com
Should I do a timeline of the stories I posted in 2004?

My eye twitches in sympathy, though I have a feeling that you're more organized than most due to your mad indexing skills. :)

Date: 2005-01-03 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serialkarma.livejournal.com
Especially huge thanks to serialkarma for the joke about the monk and the cell phone and beta duty.

OMG, it wasn't a joke! There really was a monk with a cell phone! Cassock and everything!

Date: 2005-01-05 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Uh huh. Pull the other one, it's got bells on.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2005-01-05 06:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you :)

Date: 2005-01-04 03:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dirty-diana.livejournal.com
I can't remember if I commented on the archive, but I enjoyed this. Also, I read this and said to myself, I'd bet money [livejournal.com profile] hackthis wrote this one. Ha. Being right is fun.

Date: 2005-01-05 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
*snicker*

Indeed.

Date: 2005-09-28 11:05 am (UTC)

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