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hackthis_archiveYou know that thing about there only being one more piece of Thousandth Man-verse? I was wrong. What? You try fighting the power of Snow Patrol and Gary Lightbody as Neville. I don't necessarily think you have to see the video for 'Chocolate' to get this, or 'Run' for The Weight, but I think they're nice visual accompaniments. Except for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
circe_tigana, you are *required* to watch the videos.
Thousandth Man-verse
When it's All Over We Still Have to Clear Up
1.
The first assignment is the worst -– Neville told him this, and Theodore didn’t listen, because he was a Nott and Slytherin, and there was nothing that could be done that he hadn’t heard of, or seen, or been threatened with at one time or another. He’d heard of the blood rites and knew how the curses worked; Theodore was the jaded one. And then he went on a recon with Neville, because if he had to come back to this cursed place for Neville he was not letting Neville out his sight, and his whole world went pear-shaped. This was his fate now: cursing the parents of people he’d grown up with, people he’d been taught to respect and revere his whole life, and then seeing them curse the people around him; the whole experience made him ill. His head throbbed, his mouth went dry, and he lost his voice for two days. Snape said it was in his head; Theodore could say nothing in return.
It was like operating inside a shell of himself; first-hand experience was very different from hearing about it or cleaning out the wounds and sewing up the jagged scars while people talked over their plans.
There was so much screaming.
There were so many people, and the chaos was intolerable -- flashes of red and green, sparks and fires, and the dust. The dust got in his nose and his hair and his mouth. The noise grated at Theodore’s ears until he thought they would bleed, and there was this woman holding this baby, and the baby just kept wailing and wailing.
And then it stopped.
Afterwards, Neville dragged Theodore somewhere, he will never know where or how, but there was this steel contraption, which Neville said was a car, and they had sex inside it.
Against sticky, filthy seats, Neville pulled and stroked, he licked the crease of Theodore’s neck and whispered in his ear about what they would do when it was all over. He promised sunshine and grass, soft beds and clean clothing. He wanted a holiday in Greece. He wanted Theodore always. The rustle of their clothing echoed in Theodore’s ears like the shouts of dying people, and he quivered when Neville’s hands unfastened his trousers and touched his bare skin.
It was the first time Theodore had ever let someone else penetrate him, and when Neville was inside him it was like Neville reaching in and fixing something that had got broken without Theodore’s knowledge.
2.
Neville talks about the man with one shoe a lot. He says he thought the man was a muggle since he had no wand and wasn’t wearing robes. The man wore a shiny pin on his shirt and held his hands to his mouth as though he thought it would stop his screams.
Neville says that the man with one shoe didn’t even have a sock on his other foot, that he screamed and cried and there were tear tracks streaking down his dirt-smeared face. He talks about being in London when the bombs dropped. Theodore didn’t even know what bombs were until Neville explained them to him. There were no bombs in Nice. There were no bombs in Lisbon. He could’ve just stayed where it was safe. They could’ve just stayed there and let this war rage on without them. All the destruction and chaos, all the dead bodies and betrayal could have been left behind, and Theodore would’ve been fine with that, because Slytherins were nothing if not into self-preservation.
Pride was all well and good, but it was worth nothing if you were dead.
3.
There are lines etched across Neville’s face; scars and wrinkles and fresh scratches mar his visage, making him looking much older than his nineteen years. He doesn’t sleep very much, and when he does, it’s a fitful sleep, full of tossing and turning and muttering. The nightmares happen less frequently now than they did when Theodore first found him, but they are there, and Neville talks in his sleep –- in between the casting of Unforgivable curses and the pretending that everything is okay. Theodore knows about pretending, but he chose Neville so that he wouldn’t have to pretend; so they could be themselves. He doesn’t want this for Neville, he doesn’t want this for them. More than anything else, though, he’s bitter that he doesn’t know how to make things better; he’s more angry than he should be, and he can’t help it. He doesn’t like being unable to control his emotions. He doesn’t like the pity.
The war isn't over; he can accept that. People are dead; he can accept that as well. He can accept that it will take more to kill the Dark Lord than one well placed Avada Kedavra -– apparently Potter already tried that –- or a pound of steel from a muggle handgun -– that’s been tried as well. What he cannot accept is the feeling of helplessness that just won’t go away.
4.
There’s a ladybird stalking along the flat of Neville’s outstretched hand, and Theodore is fascinated by it. Its shell is red with six little dots that Theodore counts aloud in French, and Neville smiles when Theodore looks up from where he’s studying the fine hairs on Neville’s hand. For the first time Theodore can recall, there’s no dirt underneath Neville’s nails, and he licks his bottom lip because it’s dry. It takes him a moment to notice the blurs passing by them, and then he hears the people screaming again. There’s a man in green and a woman in white, and there’s a wall with pieces of parchment screaming out ‘The End is Nigh’.
Out the corner of his eye, Theodore watches Blaise play wizarding chess with Ronald Weasley, and Granger is there holding Theodore’s father’s Time Turner. The whole thing is very distracting, and when Theodore looks back, Neville is gone.
He wakes up with a start, his body aching from sleeping on a cold floor. Neville’s robe is draped over him casually, and as he attempts to get his bearings, he remembers that they’ve spent the night inside something called a petrol station. He’s just getting to his feet when Neville comes through a sidedoor holding little yellow squares wrapped in spellotape.
“They’re called fairy cakes,” he says. “Apparently they’re indestructible.”
5.
They don’t fight often, but every now and then they have fantastic rows, because Theodore wants to go home. He’s tired of fighting someone else’s war for something he doesn’t really believe in. When Neville says they’re fighting for what’s right, Theodore says he’s fighting for Neville. He doesn’t have to fight for anyone else since Blaise is with Alexandria, and they’re both safe with the twins in Lisbon now.
Theodore still remembers the day that he told Blaise he was going to stay behind with Neville. There was blood and shouting and fisticuffs, which have always been so below them. Theodore received a swollen eye and Blaise a split lip, and when they kissed goodbye, Theodore could taste Blaise’s blood in his mouth for a week afterwards.
Sometimes he thinks he still can detect tiny traces of it on his lips.
6.
When this is all over, they are going home. Theodore has said this very loudly, more than once, and only once has Neville asked where exactly this home is supposed to be if the entire country is at war and disappearing a little more with every breath.
7.
It is not Theodore’s job to win this war; that’s a job for the foolhardy, and every time Potter looks at Neville as though he knows something that Theodore doesn’t, Theodore’s hackles are raised. If Potter wants to play silly buggers with the Dark Lord then that’s his business, but Theodore will kill them both before he’ll let them drag Neville farther into their foolish mess.
He doesn’t consider himself a part of the Opposition or a part of those people he’s known all his life; he’s just a wizard protecting what belongs to him.
Cunning, purity, pride, ambition –- these are all very well and good in their time and place, but right now, Theodore couldn’t care less about what happens to anyone else, he’s just trying to keep his lover alive.
-end-
Improv: shell, fate, rustle, graet, stalk
Beta byserialkarma, who I heart THIS MUCH.
Title taken from the Snow Patrol LP since they seem to have inspired almost as much TM-verse as Turin Brakes.
circe_tigana, you are *required* to watch the videos.Thousandth Man-verse
When it's All Over We Still Have to Clear Up
1.
The first assignment is the worst -– Neville told him this, and Theodore didn’t listen, because he was a Nott and Slytherin, and there was nothing that could be done that he hadn’t heard of, or seen, or been threatened with at one time or another. He’d heard of the blood rites and knew how the curses worked; Theodore was the jaded one. And then he went on a recon with Neville, because if he had to come back to this cursed place for Neville he was not letting Neville out his sight, and his whole world went pear-shaped. This was his fate now: cursing the parents of people he’d grown up with, people he’d been taught to respect and revere his whole life, and then seeing them curse the people around him; the whole experience made him ill. His head throbbed, his mouth went dry, and he lost his voice for two days. Snape said it was in his head; Theodore could say nothing in return.
It was like operating inside a shell of himself; first-hand experience was very different from hearing about it or cleaning out the wounds and sewing up the jagged scars while people talked over their plans.
There was so much screaming.
There were so many people, and the chaos was intolerable -- flashes of red and green, sparks and fires, and the dust. The dust got in his nose and his hair and his mouth. The noise grated at Theodore’s ears until he thought they would bleed, and there was this woman holding this baby, and the baby just kept wailing and wailing.
And then it stopped.
Afterwards, Neville dragged Theodore somewhere, he will never know where or how, but there was this steel contraption, which Neville said was a car, and they had sex inside it.
Against sticky, filthy seats, Neville pulled and stroked, he licked the crease of Theodore’s neck and whispered in his ear about what they would do when it was all over. He promised sunshine and grass, soft beds and clean clothing. He wanted a holiday in Greece. He wanted Theodore always. The rustle of their clothing echoed in Theodore’s ears like the shouts of dying people, and he quivered when Neville’s hands unfastened his trousers and touched his bare skin.
It was the first time Theodore had ever let someone else penetrate him, and when Neville was inside him it was like Neville reaching in and fixing something that had got broken without Theodore’s knowledge.
2.
Neville talks about the man with one shoe a lot. He says he thought the man was a muggle since he had no wand and wasn’t wearing robes. The man wore a shiny pin on his shirt and held his hands to his mouth as though he thought it would stop his screams.
Neville says that the man with one shoe didn’t even have a sock on his other foot, that he screamed and cried and there were tear tracks streaking down his dirt-smeared face. He talks about being in London when the bombs dropped. Theodore didn’t even know what bombs were until Neville explained them to him. There were no bombs in Nice. There were no bombs in Lisbon. He could’ve just stayed where it was safe. They could’ve just stayed there and let this war rage on without them. All the destruction and chaos, all the dead bodies and betrayal could have been left behind, and Theodore would’ve been fine with that, because Slytherins were nothing if not into self-preservation.
Pride was all well and good, but it was worth nothing if you were dead.
3.
There are lines etched across Neville’s face; scars and wrinkles and fresh scratches mar his visage, making him looking much older than his nineteen years. He doesn’t sleep very much, and when he does, it’s a fitful sleep, full of tossing and turning and muttering. The nightmares happen less frequently now than they did when Theodore first found him, but they are there, and Neville talks in his sleep –- in between the casting of Unforgivable curses and the pretending that everything is okay. Theodore knows about pretending, but he chose Neville so that he wouldn’t have to pretend; so they could be themselves. He doesn’t want this for Neville, he doesn’t want this for them. More than anything else, though, he’s bitter that he doesn’t know how to make things better; he’s more angry than he should be, and he can’t help it. He doesn’t like being unable to control his emotions. He doesn’t like the pity.
The war isn't over; he can accept that. People are dead; he can accept that as well. He can accept that it will take more to kill the Dark Lord than one well placed Avada Kedavra -– apparently Potter already tried that –- or a pound of steel from a muggle handgun -– that’s been tried as well. What he cannot accept is the feeling of helplessness that just won’t go away.
4.
There’s a ladybird stalking along the flat of Neville’s outstretched hand, and Theodore is fascinated by it. Its shell is red with six little dots that Theodore counts aloud in French, and Neville smiles when Theodore looks up from where he’s studying the fine hairs on Neville’s hand. For the first time Theodore can recall, there’s no dirt underneath Neville’s nails, and he licks his bottom lip because it’s dry. It takes him a moment to notice the blurs passing by them, and then he hears the people screaming again. There’s a man in green and a woman in white, and there’s a wall with pieces of parchment screaming out ‘The End is Nigh’.
Out the corner of his eye, Theodore watches Blaise play wizarding chess with Ronald Weasley, and Granger is there holding Theodore’s father’s Time Turner. The whole thing is very distracting, and when Theodore looks back, Neville is gone.
He wakes up with a start, his body aching from sleeping on a cold floor. Neville’s robe is draped over him casually, and as he attempts to get his bearings, he remembers that they’ve spent the night inside something called a petrol station. He’s just getting to his feet when Neville comes through a sidedoor holding little yellow squares wrapped in spellotape.
“They’re called fairy cakes,” he says. “Apparently they’re indestructible.”
5.
They don’t fight often, but every now and then they have fantastic rows, because Theodore wants to go home. He’s tired of fighting someone else’s war for something he doesn’t really believe in. When Neville says they’re fighting for what’s right, Theodore says he’s fighting for Neville. He doesn’t have to fight for anyone else since Blaise is with Alexandria, and they’re both safe with the twins in Lisbon now.
Theodore still remembers the day that he told Blaise he was going to stay behind with Neville. There was blood and shouting and fisticuffs, which have always been so below them. Theodore received a swollen eye and Blaise a split lip, and when they kissed goodbye, Theodore could taste Blaise’s blood in his mouth for a week afterwards.
Sometimes he thinks he still can detect tiny traces of it on his lips.
6.
When this is all over, they are going home. Theodore has said this very loudly, more than once, and only once has Neville asked where exactly this home is supposed to be if the entire country is at war and disappearing a little more with every breath.
7.
It is not Theodore’s job to win this war; that’s a job for the foolhardy, and every time Potter looks at Neville as though he knows something that Theodore doesn’t, Theodore’s hackles are raised. If Potter wants to play silly buggers with the Dark Lord then that’s his business, but Theodore will kill them both before he’ll let them drag Neville farther into their foolish mess.
He doesn’t consider himself a part of the Opposition or a part of those people he’s known all his life; he’s just a wizard protecting what belongs to him.
Cunning, purity, pride, ambition –- these are all very well and good in their time and place, but right now, Theodore couldn’t care less about what happens to anyone else, he’s just trying to keep his lover alive.
-end-
Improv: shell, fate, rustle, graet, stalk
Beta by
serialkarma, who I heart THIS MUCH. Title taken from the Snow Patrol LP since they seem to have inspired almost as much TM-verse as Turin Brakes.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 08:22 pm (UTC)um. yes. This is why I adore your writing. It's the little details that seem so inconsequential to the outside but make the difference between a memory and something to forget. The lines about Blaise and the kiss were just crazily resonating for me. The dreams. The repeating over and over about going home... when in fact I think he realizes that he IS home with Neville.
Just. Yes, brilliant. Thank you. *wanders off mulling fic over*
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 08:28 pm (UTC)he’s just a wizard protecting what belongs to him.
It's so darkly romantic. Heart.
I love Snow Patrol (and speaking of music, I also love Damien Rice, your current music) so I have to check out those videos now and possibly purchase that album. I only have "Final Straw", but I have a feeling "When It's All Over..." is just as good as "Final Straw".
Also, some fangirly squueing over the fact you wrote more of this splendid universe. So thank you!
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:07 pm (UTC)That's what this is, a dark romance. Not a romance or a tragedy, but a dark romance. I like that idea. :)
I love Snow Patrol (and speaking of music, I also love Damien Rice, your current music) so I have to check out those videos now and possibly purchase that album. I only have "Final Straw", but I have a feeling "When It's All Over..." is just as good as "Final Straw".
I cannot recommend the videos highly enough, and not just because I find them so inspirational, but because it's nice to see videos not featuring cars and chicks and bling. I digress. I'm glad you enjoyed this, thanks!
no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 08:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 08:32 pm (UTC)and when Neville was inside him it was like Neville reaching in and fixing something that had gotten broken without Theodore’s knowledge
This may be one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. Seriously. Er, I'll go back to reading now.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 08:59 pm (UTC)Theodore still remembers the day that he told Blaise he was going to stay behind with Neville. There was blood and shouting and fisticuffs, which have always been so below them. Theodore received a swollen eye and Blaise a split lip, and when they kissed goodbye, Theodore could taste Blaise’s blood in his mouth for a week afterwards.
Sometimes he thinks he still can detect tiny traces of it on his lips.
There are no words for how perfect that is. This whole thing is just... beautiful and striking.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 09:11 pm (UTC)Reads yet again and shakes my head in awe at how you fucking own these two.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 10:36 pm (UTC)That first section especially, and *this*:
It was the first time Theodore had ever let someone else penetrate him, and when Neville was inside him it was like Neville reaching in and fixing something that had gotten broken without Theodore’s knowledge.
Man, oh, man, oh, man. Yeah. Just .... ::clings:: I'm kinda without adequate words to tell you how much I love these boys of yours.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2005-01-16 03:33 am (UTC)I love this sentiment more than almost anything else in my reading life; the raw, totally innate desperation to protect some people, because they're *yours*. I'm absolutely delighted it's turned up so baldly in this series which I adore.
Thank you so much for writing this.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:13 pm (UTC)I think at its heart that's a lot of what the series is about: finding something of your own, losing something you thought you owned, wanting to protect it, or realising that it's not worth it.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-16 11:37 am (UTC)This is the best line ever. This line sums up, for me, this entire series. You have slowly gotten Neville under Theo's skin, and clicked that Something right into place where it should be.
God, I love it.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:14 pm (UTC)What a lovely thing to say, thank you!
no subject
Date: 2005-01-16 01:48 pm (UTC)The love is large.
It is not Theodore’s job to win this war; that’s a job for the foolhardy, and every time Potter looks at Neville as though he knows something that Theodore doesn’t, Theodore’s hackles are raised. If Potter wants to play silly buggers with the Dark Lord then that’s his business, but Theodore will kill them both before he’ll let them drag Neville farther into their foolish mess.
He doesn’t consider himself a part of the Opposition or a part of those people he’s known all his life; he’s just a wizard protecting what belongs to him.
<3<3<3
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:15 pm (UTC)Me too! It's very hard to wrap something up when it insists on remaining so illusive.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-16 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:15 pm (UTC)Me too, but you know the old axiom about all good things...
no subject
Date: 2005-01-16 03:34 pm (UTC)You're amazing. Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-16 04:48 pm (UTC)Gorgeous and painful.
This installment is certainly no darker than any of the others but you seemed to employ a bit more abstraction via flashbacks, slow-mo, as it were, and more fracturing of images. It works really well. I also think it's interesting, the Gryffindor characteristics that Nott has or has gained over the course of loving Neville.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-16 05:47 pm (UTC)the entire country is at war and disappearing a little more with every breath - I love the imagery you manage to evoke. And the thouht of Theodore in a petrol station...
He doesn’t consider himself a part of the Opposition or a part of those people he’s known all his life; he’s just a wizard protecting what belongs to him. - And for me, this *is* Theodore. He'll do anything to protect the ones he loves, even if he has to betray the ones he grew up with. *Sigh*
Dearest
Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-17 01:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2005-01-16 07:41 pm (UTC)like Neville reaching in and fixing something that had gotten broken without Theodore’s knowledge.
*swoons*
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:23 pm (UTC)Yes, he's the most complicated, straightforward person, isn't he?
no subject
Date: 2005-01-17 04:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-17 02:50 pm (UTC)One minor Britpicking note: I don't think I've ever heard anybody over here call the little red beetles 'ladybugs' rather than ladybirds. Annnnd now I feel incredibly anal-retentive, sorry about that.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:25 pm (UTC)That's quite all right, if I only mucked up one thing I've done well.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-17 06:10 pm (UTC)this feels like the part i've been waiting for. sort of. it's theodore growing up and it hurts awfully but it had to happen.
and every time Potter looks at Neville as though he knows something that Theodore doesn’t, Theodore’s hackles are raised.
oh god, i just love his protective, jealous lurve!
You know that thing about there only being one more piece of Thousandth Man-verse? I was wrong.
thank the fricking lord above. or... whoever. just thanks.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:27 pm (UTC)I'm glad you think so, also, yes, Theodore is all about the jealous thing, he'd probably tattoo Neville if he thought Neville would sit for it.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-17 09:54 pm (UTC)Love how much of a reluctant fighter Theodore is. Love the undercurrent of "I don't care about morals, or ideals or your stupid cause, I'm just making sure my boyfriend doesn't die."
Absolutely lovly, the whole series.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:28 pm (UTC)Yes, I think that sums it up quite nicely. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 06:07 pm (UTC)I can't leave proper feedback because I feel reduced to "eeeeeee!" and a million "I love you/them/this!" and marriage proposals.
There is more, yes? Please?
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:29 pm (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed it, and yes, there's one more part if I can ever get around to sorting it out.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 07:09 pm (UTC)PS. I don't know if you noticed, but I really like the Thousandth Man-verse ;) Please write more!
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-23 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-25 07:44 pm (UTC)This segment was gorgeous and complex and detailed, as always, and this--
It was the first time Theodore had ever let someone else penetrate him, and when Neville was inside him it was like Neville reaching in and fixing something that had gotten broken without Theodore’s knowledge.
--was so poignant and lovely.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-22 12:09 pm (UTC)Loved the part when Neville is inside Theodore the first time, reaching inside and fixing something Tehodore didn't know was broken.
no subject
Date: 2012-02-29 02:57 am (UTC)