HP - I See Monsters (That's When I Reach for my Revolver)

[hackthis_archive]

It's been a long time since I've written anything I loved this much.

Inspired by viðrar vel til loftárása, video and song by Sigur Ros. Dedicated to oxoniensis and circe_tigana*

*Feel better soon

Harry Potter

I See Monsters (That's When I Reach for my Revolver)







It rained last night, and the banks of the lake are damp and muddy. Neville can feel the wetness seeping through his robes and the knees of his trousers as he crawls along the edges of the lake looking for Trevor. The mud squishes between his fingers as he inches along on hands and knees, calling Trevor's name, and brushing the reeds out of the way. They blow back at him in the breeze, brushing against his face and tickling under his chin. The pollen makes him sneeze, and he can see the yellow bits sticking to his clothing.

Neville doesn't think Trevor would be out here, but he's not in the dormitories and he's not in the common room, and Neville's worried. He's not harming anything by the lake; he's just looking. There's a slight chill in the air, and the jumper his nan gave him last Christmas makes him itch.

"Lost something again, Longbottom?"

The hairs on Neville's arms stand at attention, and he can feel the colour flushing his cheeks even before he looks up. Long black robes billow at the edges of his vision and his stomach clenches as though he's going to be sick.

"I -– I -–" Neville sits back on his hauches, his knees sliding in the muck.

"I don't know why you're even bothering to look. Knowing that this is you we are dealing with, I expect it's lost irretrievably, whatever it is." Snape's tone is particularly sharp, and Neville's neck aches as he looks up and up.

The sky is grey, and Snape's face is pale and black. His eyes are hooded in shadows as his hair whips across his face. When Neville thinks of the Dementor's Kiss, he thinks of Snape's face.

Neville's not doing anything wrong; he just can't get the words out to defend himself. "I was just looking for my toad," he manages eventually.

Snape's sneer sets Neville's teeth on edge. "If he has any sense, he's probably left you for some other, more sensible child. Get up at once!"

Neville's trainers slip and slide as he gets to his feet, and he smears mud on his robes in an effort not to pitch forward at Snape's ankles. "I have a free period right now," Neville begins, trying to calm his heart rate and focus on the matter at hand. He doesn't want to be intimidated by this man, but five years of fear is a lot to get past at one go. "I was just –- I was just -–"

I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Snape glowers. "I'm sure all your periods are free periods in that empty brain of yours, and ten points from Gryffindor for looking like something found under a rock. Now get in the castle and clean yourself up."

Neville can feel his chin wobbling, and he wants so badly to get away from the cold cruelty that surrounds Snape all the time. Neville never felt this hopeless, or helpless, when the Dementors were around. "I have to see Professor Sprout," he says rather suddenly, and the grass is slick underneath his feet as he runs off.

He feels like he's been running from Snape forever.


*


Neville Longbottom has an ingrained fear of Severus Snape, although perhaps "ingrained" isn't precisely the right word. "Ingrained" implies that Neville's fear has developed over a long period of time, and in a matter of speaking it has, but until his first year at Hogwarts, Neville didn't even know of Snape's existence. Snape was never the boggart under Neville's bed or the rats scampering around in the walls of his grandmother's house as Neville grew up. Neville's flushed cheeks and clammy palms just appeared one day, on his first day at Hogwarts, and they've been simmering under the surface, just waiting for Snape, ever since.

Neville's doesn't understand where Snape's animosity has come from; he doesn't know what he did to deserve it. He only knows that it's there. He only knows that from the moment he set foot in Hogwarts, Snape has done nothing but mock him and harangue him and treat him in the most appalling manner as though the Snapes and the Longbottoms go back a thousand years and it's been bad blood the entire time.

Neville knows of his great great great great great grandfather Tristan the dragon-tamer, and his great-aunt Ruth who fought Grindlewald and created the first Regenerating Limb Spell. Neville knows he comes from great and brave stock, but that meant nothing in his third year when he would spend his nights lying awake fearing that Sirius Black was really Professor Snape in disguise.

Neville knows nothing of Snape's family, but he knows enough about Snape full stop.

Snape has given Neville a twitch in his right eye and sense of paranoia that wasn't there before. Neville jumps at loud breathing, and his stomach clenches in a knot whenever he has to descend into the dungeons.

Now that Neville's in his sixth year, he doesn't have to go to the dungeons at all, unless he wants to. He tells himself this every time he finds himself hovering at the top of the staircase to the dungeons, waiting for Theodore to come. Except that Neville spent much of his first year hiding in corners, talking to Trevor and praying that he would wake up and it would all be a dream.

Neville used to pray that he would wake up and be brave -– but that never happened. Instead, Neville was hexed by people who claimed to be his friends, and he won the House Cup because he stood up to those exact same "friends".

Neville's not quite certain how that worked out, but he knows that it was a lot easier to stand up to them than it ever would be to stand up to Snape.

Snape just makes him afraid.

Snape is the mice in the walls and the boggarts in the closet.

Snape is fear.

Theodore says -- Theodore says a lot of things, but he isn’t afraid of Snape, and he doesn't understand Neville's terror.

To Theodore, Snape is just another professor, but facts have little do with Neville's panic.

Snape has managed to imbue a dread in Neville that defies whatever bravery is supposed to come with being a Gryffindor.

Theodore doesn't try to justify Snape's behaviour though, he just tells Neville that not everyone in Slytherin is the same, because if that were the case then Neville would be just as idiotic as Harry.

Neville stands up for Harry because that's what he does, but sometimes Neville has uncharitable thoughts about Harry, because Neville knows that Harry's not perfect. Neville's heard about Harry's wobblers; he's seen the way that Harry isn't all sunshine and daisies all every turn.

Bravery comes in all stripes it would seem.


*


Neville thinks of Luna Lovegood as his first real girl friend. She's not his girlfriend, but she's a girl who is his friend and she's –- well, Neville likes that she's so different.

It's true that Neville's been friendly with Ginny Weasley, but that was complicated by his own hormones and Ginny's relationship with Dean. He's also spent time with Hermione, but she reminds him of his grandmother, and not in any good sense.

Luna doesn't think that Neville constantly needs help or that he's just an accident waiting to happen. She doesn't condescend to him, which is something that he would never have considered before Theodore came along. Neville knows that Hermione means well, but she's bossy, and a little over-emotional. Whenever he and Luna witness her rowing with Ron and/or Harry, Luna says that Hermione's hormones are out of alignment with Venus.

Luna has an explanation for everything.

She says that Ron and Lavender are together because, "Ron's fear of commitment is no match for Lavender's feminine wiles."

They practice their hexes and jinxes together, and Luna brings him Muggle sweets when he works in the Greenhouses. She's the one who told him that Theodore Nott was watching him, too.

They had been sitting in the library, reading The Modern Wizard's Complete Guide to Hexing a Nose Off And Other Insults to Follow Through On, and Luna had leaned across the table and whispered quite loudly, "That boy in the Runes section fancies you the way that hippogriffs fancy ferrets."

Neville had flushed right to the tips of his ears. "Hippogriffs don't fancy ferrets," he'd said, rubbing the back of his neck and decidedly not looking over in the Runes section. "They eat them."

Luna had sat back in her seat and given him an enormous grin. "Exactly."

And then the knut dropped, and Neville's palms had started to sweat for an entirely new reason.


*


Neville doesn't understand what Theodore Nott sees in him. Neville's skin doesn't flush with emotion and he's not alluringly pale or tanned. If anything he's just got a healthy complexion. Ruddy. English. There's nothing exotic or fascinating about him like Blaise Zabini, and he's not a brilliant athlete.

Neville's just average.

He's just himself -- with his freckles on his shoulders and his teeth that have only just started to fit the rest of his face.

It's not a matter of thinking Theodore's better than him, or that Neville's not worthy of Theodore's attention, but they're just so different. Theodore's a Slytherin and Neville's a Gryffindor, and Neville's entire school existence has been punctuated by the horribleness of Slytherin house.

On one end of the Slytherin spectrum is Malfoy, who is juvenile and petty, and on the other end is Snape, who is malicious and vindictive. Neville never thought there was anything in the middle, but then he met Theodore and he had to reconsider his assumptions all over again.

Theodore's not the boy you notice right away. He's not even the boy standing next to the boy you notice. Neville suspects that they're alike in this way, but whereas Neville's generally the boy standing in the corner fidgeting, while everyone else is out on the dance floor or flying across the Quidditch pitch, Theodore doesn't seem inclined to be the centre of attention. Neville thinks he could be if he wanted to though; he thinks that that's the difference.

Neville will never be mistaken for Harry Potter, even inadvertently. There's nothing loud and garish about him, like Ron Weasley, nor is he exceptionally intelligent, like Hermione Granger. The most exceptional thing about Neville is how unexceptional he is with his plain brown hair and staid brown eyes. Even Trevor is just an common toad that Neville found in the garden of his grandmother's house.

Neville is ordinary through and through.

But Theodore disagrees.

Theodore says Neville's not ordinary at all, and bit-by-bit he's starting to convince Neville of this. Where Neville's grandmother is all sweeping gestures and loud statements, Theodore is soft suggestions and quiet support. He tells Neville he believes in him; he tells Neville he can do anything he wants to.

Neville's never had that before.

No one has ever said they have confidence in Neville; Theodore just looks at him as though it's obvious. When Neville shows him a new plant that he's helped raise, or does a Charm that everyone else has had trouble with, Theodore just raises an eyebrow and says, "Did you really think you couldn't do it?"

Every time they have this conversation, Neville just looks at Theodore with round eyes and red cheeks.

It's never really occurred to him that he could.


*


Neville's grandmother says you reap what you sow, but Neville has never sowed anything near Snape. He's only kept to himself and his flowers, and he longs for the day when he won't even have to see Snape at meals. Snape's piercing eyes and sallow skin are enough to put Neville off his food for hours. Neville has lost an entire stone since he came to Hogwarts, even though he's grown five inches. Theodore brings him iced cakes in the greenhouse and kisses his forehead when Neville mutters half-hearted imprecations against Snape's parents.

Neville has nothing against Snape's parents, he doesn't even know who they are, but he's not sure what sort they must have been to create a child like Snape.

Neville can't even image Snape as child; he just sees the same jaundiced, perpetually sullen face. He can't imagine Snape visiting his parents in St Mungo's and hoarding gum wrappers or being tossed out of an open window by his uncle.

Neville imagines that Snape would probably hex anyone who tried such a thing, and he does his best not to dwell, but he can't always help it.

Theodore brushes the dirt from Neville's hair and fixes Neville with his blue-eyed level gaze. He props Neville up when Neville wants nothing more than to hex Snape and make him as afraid as he's made Neville.

Before Theodore came along, Neville always wanted to run away, now Neville has rage. Now, Neville wants to stand up for himself. He remembers the stand-off at the Ministry and the way he was courageous; he thinks maybe this has something to do with Theodore and Professor Lupin and Luna, who's absolutely mental, but knew that Theodore fancied Neville long before Neville did.


*


Neville's spent most of his life playing a game of Lost and Found –- he loses his belongings and other people find them.

His Uncle Algie found Neville's latent magic, his grandmother has her very own spell to retrieve his lost shoes, and Harry's returned Neville's Rememberall to him more times than Neville can say "Thank you." He does what he can to show how grateful he is and it's not as though he loses things are on purpose, these things just happen.

Neville's lost toys and books and jumpers, and he's sure that somewhere in the world there is very happy Klepto Imp, who is in possession of the majority of his lost socks.

In short, Neville is very accustomed to losing things; however, he's not always used to getting them back, so when Theodore Nott appears at Greenhouse Four with a small wicker basket, Neville doesn't really know what to say. He's watched Theodore watching him, but they've never talked, never shared confidences or even the same workstation in Charms.

He doesn't know what could possibly bring Theodore out here; he's not in Neville's NEWT Herbology course, and he's so pristine that Neville can't even summon a memory of Theodore in his previous Herbology lessons.

Theodore is all startlingly bright blue eyes and perfect black hair. His fringe is artfully mussed without looking dishevelled and his clothing is free of stains and smears. Even his freckles seem to fit his features. Neville has freckles all over his shoulders, but that's because he doesn't tan as much as burn and peel in the summer.

"I think this belongs to you." Theodore approaches Neville with a surety that Neville has never known. It doesn't even occur to him to try and fake it.

"I didn't know I'd lost something," Neville confesses. He's lost so many things, he has no idea what this could be; he's very curious though.

He removes his dragon hide gloves and tosses them onto the workstation, next to the pot of Prissy Petunias; he can feel the sweat beading along his hairline and running down the nape of his neck. He meets Theodore somewhere between the Wellington Ferns and the Jackknife Geraniums, reaching out with dirty fingers before pulling back.

"I don't bite, unless you ask nicely." Theodore's smile is all white, straight teeth, and Neville shivers despite the warmth of the greenhouse.

"I just, uh," Neville rubs his hands on his greying tee shirt. "I'm a bit filthy."

Theodore opens his mouth, ostensibly to say something, but closes it again and thrusts the basket at Neville. He almost seems unsure of himself, which is something Neville's never seen from a Slytherin.

Wordlessly, Neville takes the basket and opens the flap –- and his heart winds up somewhere in his throat. "I thought I'd lost him!" The basket falls to the floor as Neville wraps his hand around Trevor and hugs him to his chest. Trevor ribbits as Neville pets him, and Neville can feel his smile threatening to split his face in half.

Neville's been told time and again to keep a closer eye on Trevor, but he knows that he can't spend all his time watching a toad. He refuses to put an Ownership Charm on Trevor, because the textbooks say it's like an invisible harness, and Neville just can't do that. He knows that if Trevor wants to leave him, he will. Everyone leaves eventually -– but Neville's just glad that Trevor hasn't become part of Snape's stores. The thought fills him with dread, and he beams at Theodore Nott gratefully for several moments.

Neville's always thought Slytherins couldn't possibly have a sympathetic bone in their bodies and this -– he would never expect this from one of them.

"Thank you, really." Neville can feel his face aching with the force of his grin, and Theodore's passive gaze makes him feel slightly self-conscious. "I didn't think you –- just -- thank you."

Theodore cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes appraisingly. "You didn't think what? That Slytherins could do something for someone else? We're not self-serving all the time -– just most of the time."

There's an analytical edge to Theodore's gaze that makes Neville uneasy, and he swallows when Theodore's tongue swipes over his full bottom lip. "Are you being self-serving right now?" Neville asks.

Trevor ribbits loudly.

"I'm quite keen on frog's legs," Theodore grins, "but I draw the line at toads."

"That's good to know." Neville can feel the tremors in his hands as Theodore takes a step into his personal space. "I don't think toad legs would taste very good."

"Do you have any other thoughts?"

"I, um." For all of their furtive looks between classes and in the halls, Neville's never been this close to Theodore before and there's something about Theodore's look that's unsettling. His eyes are radiant and his mouth –- Neville's never realised quite how pink it is. When Theodore exhales, Neville can feel the warmth on his cheeks. He's already warm enough. Really.

Trevor ribbits again, and Neville freezes when Theodore smirks. "I think, after I've gone to the trouble of saving him, it would be quite anticlimactic if you crushed him to death."

It takes Neville several moments to realise what Theodore's talking about, and when he looses his hold, Trevor hops onto his shoulder, and then onto the workstation, and then he's gone. Again.

Neville stares at the swathe of plants that Trevor disappears into. "Oh, bugger." Theodore snickers beside him.

When Neville turns back, Theodore's grinning at him in obvious amusement, and Neville snogs him, because it seems like the thing to do.

Theodore's mouth is soft and wet, and Neville presses his mouth against it for what seems like a very long time. It's not a huge, face-sucking kiss, it's just a press of lips, chaste and pure. At least it is until Theodore parts his lips, and his tongue swipes along Neville's upper lip.

When Neville sways away slightly, Theodore's right there to hold him up.


*


Neville can't fly to save his life, but he loves Quidditch all the same. He loves the Bludgers and the Beaters and the Keepers. He adores the Quaffle and the Snitch and the little blurs the Seekers make when they're way up high. He likes being in the stands with his mates and celebrating a way of life that he knows is dying a little more every day.

There's a high that comes from being together with the people Neville's closest to that makes him happy, and he tries very hard to hold on to that with all his might. It's hard enough right now with the war on the horizon, so Neville lives for Saturdays and the chance to escape from the clouds that hang over Hogwarts the rest of the time.

Neville knows what's coming. It's a solid, implacable knowledge, and when it rains, the bridge of his nose aches from where he broke it at the Ministry. It's nothing like when he was wee and was afraid of the dark things under his bed.

Now, he knows exactly what they look like.

All Neville wants is to share this brief moment of light with someone he cares about, all he wants is to be able to feel proud for one moment. It's so natural in the heat of the moment to look for Theodore amongst the scowling faces and smile, Neville doesn't even realise he's in the thick of the Slytherin throng until it's too late and his fingers are tangled in silky black locks and he's pressing his lips against Theodore's mouth.

There are people shrieking all around Neville, but all Neville can see is the warmth of Theodore's eyes. All Neville feels is the softness of Theodore's lips -- then it's gone, and there are hands, long yellowing fingers pulling them apart.

Neville has spent his entire life being that boy who was too afraid, or too timid, or too much of the wrong sort, but when he sees the hate in Snape's eyes he knows he's found exactly what he's willing to fight for.



-end-


Improv: simmer, pollen, scamper.

As always, the role of Neville has been played by Ciaran McMenamin and Theodore Nott by Cillian Murphy. Casting available here

This would never have been possible without the encouragement and support (and fabulous beta skills) of oxoniensis.

Title taken from I See Monsters by Ryan Adams and That's When I Reach for My Revolver by Moby. Further inspired by 'Heart Attack' by Jonathan Seet.

Storyline inspired by viðrar vel til loftárása music video by Sigur Ros, which will break your heart.

Comments

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

I like this one. A lot. I was expecting a lot more Neville (like, you know, *any*) in book 6, and maybe some Theodore, too.

This helps fill that gap and so sweetly.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I too was expecting more Neville in Book 6, but since she didn't make any, I suspect I shall have to pick up her slack. Woe is me ;)

[prairiedaun.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful. I loved this look at Neville.

Thank you for writing it.

[prairiedaun.livejournal.com]

And oh, I watched the video and reread this and damn if the tone wasn't just right. Brilliant.

[josephides.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was lovely.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[mellafe.livejournal.com]

*loves*

You should include Luna more often. I don't really like her but I loved her in this.

I was thinking about Neville and Snape, why is he so afraid of the greasy git? Poor Neville.

And now I should stop before I go on and on about this one. I truly adored it.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I am strangely fond of Luna's abrasiveness. She tells it like it is. I see why she's a Ravenclaw. As for Neville being afraid of Snape, I put that all on Snape's constant belittlement. It's not as though Neville's ever done anything to him; Snape's just a big bully.

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

Eeeeee, Neville!

This bit is really, really perfect:

Neville had flushed right to the tips of his ears. "Hippogriffs don't fancy ferrets," he'd said, rubbing the back of his neck and decidedly not looking over in the Runes section. "They eat them."

Luna had sat back in her seat and given him an enormous grin. "Exactly."

Because I adore Luna as it is. And she's odd and perceptive and brilliant, and the fact that Harry is bothered by her honesty in canon just reinforces my dislike for him, but I love that she and Neville have hit it off so well.

And this, right here?

There are people shrieking all around Neville, but all Neville can see is the warmth of Theodore's eyes. All Neville feels is the softness of Theodore's lips -- then it's gone, and there are hands, long yellowing fingers pulling them apart.

Wow, I just -- really heart that so, so much. [squees quietly]

I am really, really taken by Theodore and Neville as a couple, and just may have to take an entire day off so I can go through all your TN/NL stuff. Sigh.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Because I adore Luna as it is. And she's odd and perceptive and brilliant, and the fact that Harry is bothered by her honesty in canon just reinforces my dislike for him, but I love that she and Neville have hit it off so well.

Harry is a shifty little bugger, I don't care what anyone says. I have no love for him, but I enjoy Luna's bluntness. I think Neville likes that too. Everything in all the houses is so political, I'm sure Neville appreciates her honesty.

I'm so pleased that you're enjoying the Theodore/Neville too, that gives me a warm fuzzy. :D

[oxoniensis.livejournal.com]

*happy sigh*

God, I love this more and more on each reading. And what I totally forgot to tell you, because I'm an idiot, is that I love the non-linearity of it. It works so well with the almost hazy feel of it.

And I'm hugging myself happily for reminding you of the video! I never thought such goodness would come of it.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

What I love is that you keep me going when I didn't think I could do this. {{{{{hugs}}}}} You so rock.

[syrenslure.livejournal.com]

This was beautiful. It really showed how human Neville is, and made him so easy to identify with him - It made me feel as if he is the "normal" one, and everyone else is strange.

In the end, I am so happy for him ... growing up, becoming more self-assured, less anxious ... and very glad that he found people to help him along the way.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

This was beautiful. It really showed how human Neville is, and made him so easy to identify with him - It made me feel as if he is the "normal" one, and everyone else is strange.

I don't know if Neville is the "normal" one, I've never been very into that tag, but he's the one that I appreciate the most because he's very real. The rest of the Gryffindors do nothing but raise my hackles.

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

This is lovely. Sort of HBP-influenced in a very light way.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[liseuse.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is beautiful. I love Neville and Theodore as a couple.

Neville had flushed right to the tips of his ears. "Hippogriffs don't fancy ferrets," he'd said, rubbing the back of his neck and decidedly not looking over in the Runes section. "They eat them."

Luna had sat back in her seat and given him an enormous grin. "Exactly."
That, combined with "I don't bite, unless you ask nicely." Theodore's smile is all white, straight teeth just made me smile uncontrollably.

Also, I love the Slytherin scale and both Neville and Theodore being not immediately noticeable, but being impossible to ignore or forget once you have. All in all lovely.

engrained - ingrained?
embue - imbue?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

engrained - ingrained?
embue - imbue?

What is the point of spell check if it lets me get away with such things? Feh!

[daraq.livejournal.com]

This absolutely lovely and the mood it sets is going to stay with me for the rest of the day.

I don't read much HP these days, but anything you write is devoured immediately. Thank you!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Aw, I'm glad I could bring you back to the fold for old time's sake :)

[caseylane.livejournal.com]

This was just super. Oh man, it just made me all squishy inside.

Oh, when I went and looked at who you had cast I loved it. And I have to say that I always picture Prince Harry when I think of an older Ron Weasley.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I cast Prince Harry when Rupert was younger, but, uh, he's growing up rather nicely. Just saying. Jailbait!

[unperfectwolf.livejournal.com]

oooooo *is speechless* *okay, not* this was beautiful. As always, I love how you write. it just is THERE and it just FLOWS and it just MAKES SENSE. I love the last line. I love how it's all about theo/neville and yet snape is a huge part (i'd think if you wrote a neville-at-hogwarts fic he'd have to me, neh?) and I love how Luna is so cool. This was awesome! *is so rec'ing it to her flist*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You are very kind, and I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this so much. Thank you for all your lovely comments!

[veryshortlist.livejournal.com]

Wow. A noble thing for Neville to fight for, indeed.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

:)

[tipgardner.livejournal.com]

As always, it's a pleasure to read your art.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[bloodybrilliant.livejournal.com]

♥♥♥

This is just ... yeah. That. :D
Love it.

*reads again*

[bloodybrilliant.livejournal.com]

OMG I just watched the video! I love Sigur Ros but I don't have very much by them. And the video is !!!LKSDJLKS!!! So beautiful and lovely and heartbreaking and !!! yes!

I want to see the longer version now. Wow. So brilliant. Thank you for the link.

[la-sikka.livejournal.com]

Stares. Which then turns into unattractive gaping.

I love your boys. It's gotten into my head that this is how they are and how they will be forever more. Sigur Ros is just perfect. I saw the video a while ago, and was basically floored by the imagery, and the brutal beauty of it all. I feel like your writing is a sigur ros song, melodies and harmonies that sound arcane but speak of hope. Mmmhmm. (Is fangirling you for life.)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I feel like your writing is a sigur ros song, melodies and harmonies that sound arcane but speak of hope.

What an absolutely lovely thing to say, thank you :) *is very touched*

[flrouk.livejournal.com]

I love it. It's gorgeous.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[liriaen.livejournal.com]

which will break your heart.
snff. yes. but you are catching up with them in congeniality.
a month ago i was fortunate enough to see sigur ros play live, and they brought their own space, time and reality along - and when it lifted, later, i was so much poorer. yet richer.
thank you for this story!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading!

[irishmarigold.livejournal.com]

Oh my God.. This was just fantastic. I was listening to Sigur Rós while I read this and all I could think of were the images I remember from the video coupled with the beginning bleakness and final optimism of your writing and.. wow. The video made me want to cry from sadness but this writing made me heartsick in an entirely different way. I just.. yeah, I'm amazed and impressed.

He likes being in the stands with his mates and celebrating a way of life that he knows is dying a little more every day.

That line stood out to me especially. You have such a way of weaving words.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Every time I watch the video I feel like little pieces of me are being stripped away. I can't watch it on repeat like some videos as it just leaves me feeling raw and upset, but it's so very beautiful that I feel everyone should watch it at least twice.

[fivil.livejournal.com]

You wrote Neville. I saw this recced before I saw it on my flist and I was just so excited because your Neville is really something. And I'm so not surprised you like this piece yourself because it is fucking beautiful.

I loved the way it's tied so closely to canon. I know a lot of people go "Eh?" when I go, "Neville is so freaking awesome" and of course the fic I read by you and others affects that opinion but it all comes from the very awesome canon Neville that you've really fleshed out in this piece. It's just lovely, how it all works out so well. And Luna! Tough character to portray just the right way but you wrote her so well.

And dude, OTP. Well, Neville OTP anyway. Brilliant.

Trevor! Snape! I loved how you basically made Snape, not into just a fear but a phobia - an irrational fear. It's all just very endearing and it makes so much sense.

*memories, recs, downloads Sigur Ros video*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

My love for Neville tends to defy everything, even inter-house politcs. To me, he's the best thing since sliced bread and I love writing about him, because he's not the best or the brightest or the most obvious choice for anything. I know some people don't "get it" because he's not gorgeous or whatever, but fie on them. :)

[scary-sushi.livejournal.com]

This was lovely. The story is wonderfully crafted, and your Neville is perfect. Bottom line: this was supercalifradjilisticly fantastic.
More!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it! Also, your icon is fabulous.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Trevor makes an appearance!
And "He's also spent time with Hermione, but she reminds him of his grandmother, and not in any good sense." made me cackle rather loudly.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

:)

[blythely.livejournal.com]

Neville's been told time and again to keep a closer eye on Trevor, but he also knows that he can't spend all his time watching a toad. He refuses to put an Ownership Charm on Trevor, because the textbooks say it's like an invisible harness, and Neville just can't do that. He knows that if Trevor wants to leave him, he will. Everyone leaves eventually -– but Neville's just glad that Trevor hasn't become part of Snape's stores. The thought fills him with dread, and he beams at Theodore Nott gratefully for several moments.

I made this squinchy eeeee sound when I read this and was very pleased everyone else in the office had gone home. This whole story, but in particular that greenhouse scene, where Neville is in his element (but not, cos he's jarred out of it) and competent (but not, cos he's flustered) is just so terrific. Thank you!

*paws at the screen*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thank *you* for reading :)

[dorrie6.livejournal.com]

So much love. I have no words. I'm all. Gah. No words. I don't know how I missed this! I'm. Gah.

The first scene with Snape is so amazingly spot on. And the greenhouse scene with Neville and Theodore and Trevor. *heart*

I reeeeeaaally like the way you end this. I really like the whole thing. I'm still pretty much speechless.

Oh the love.

[dorrie6.livejournal.com]

I meant to mention Luna as well! Oh, how perfect she is!

[birds-sing.livejournal.com]

I was so excited when I saw you'd written more Neville/Theodore. I love these stories of yours - your Neville just makes me so proud of him.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

*hearts Neville*