Brokeback Mountain – Average Man

[hackthis_archive]

Uh, this is not Cedric/Viktor or Ron/Draco. I suspect that you can all blame ethrosdemon for throwing me off my HP stride, but maybe this'll make up for it. She's writing Sawyer-fic people (Fate's All About Retrospect). Sawyer/Rusty actually! Johnny Cash Was the Real OG

There's nothing like trying to write a story based on an 18-page novella (that I've lost my version of) and a two-minute movie trailer. Yeah, I put my money where my mouth is. Yee haw.

Brokeback Mountain
Ennis/Jack; Ennis/Alma
Dedicated to obsessedmuch and oxoniensis. My apologies if it sucks.

Average Man





Ennis Del Mar is an average man. He's not rich, but thankfully, he's not too poor either. He can, at least, afford to buy himself cigarettes and keep food in the mouths of his kids, so he's doing good on that end.

Ennis isn't the smartest guy ever, but he's not as dumb as a sack of rocks, which makes him better off than his cotton-headed ass of a boss. He wishes he could've stuck out the school thing, but there were mortgages to pay, and crops and stuff.

People without parents don't really get to choose their lots in life.

People who drive beat-down trucks, and eat all kinds of dried beef and stone biscuits, probably aren't going home to silk sheets or whatever stuff fancy people get up to at night.

Ennis doesn't know a lot about how the other half live besides what he read about in school before his eyes got too bad with his vision and all, but he's got a good imagination, and that's good for a lot of entertainment sometimes.

Hell, Ennis knows that life could've been a lot worse than whatever he's got going right now.

Yeah, okay, working as a ranch-hand ain't exactly travelling the world and seeing the natives in Spain, but Ennis isn't the most ambitious guy on earth. He doesn't require a lot of expensive stuff and elaborate planning.

Ennis doesn't require much of anything three hundred and some odd days of the year. He only needs a week at a time, honestly.


*


There's nothing extraordinary about Ennis. Everything about him is pretty uneventful and plain; his hair, his face, his height. His legs are kinda scrawny, and he's got a scar on his temple from where he fell off a horse one time. Hell, even his dick isn't that big. Not that Ennis has been looking at a lot of dicks or anything; he's not that kind of guy, but he's not that thick.

All things considered, Ennis reckons he isn't swinging much more than anybody else out there. If Ennis had guy friends, he'd probably know more about this kind of stuff, as it stands though, Ennis is pretty much a loner, except for when Jack comes to town. Of course, without Jack, Ennis is just as regular as everyone else.


*


Ennis reminds himself of his regularness every time it rains. His lip swells up where Jack punched him that one time, and Ennis wound up sprawled to the ground, gravel embedded under his fingernails.

As far as Ennis can tell, all his memories off Jack Twist start with "That one time…"


*


Ennis gets up in the morning, yawns, scratches, and ambles into the kitchen to eat the breakfast his wife makes him.

The eggs are lukewarm, and more often than not the coffee is over boiled, but Alma makes good bacon; it's crispy, and that makes being married to her an all right deal. She's given him two daughters too, and that's -– that's real good.

Ennis' never gave much thought to being a father, but it's happened, and it’s turned out pretty good all things considered. Three hundred and fifty-odd days of the year, he's a decent father. Not below average, not above, just somewhere in the middle. The same can be said for his status as a husband, but Alma must've known what she was getting ahead of time, because she's no blue ribbon herself. She's not too pretty, but she's not too plain either. She's not real smart, and she doesn't get Ennis blood all hot and stuff, but she's passable.

Alma's just average too.


*


Alma doesn't like sleeping with Ennis; she says she gave him two daughters 'the right way,' and whenever he tries to touch her she goes to sleep on the sofa. Ennis doesn't apologize for what he does, because it's what he knows how to do, and Jack never complained. He knows Alma's not Jack, but Alma's what he's got, and he's doing what he can to make this work. He's not perfect; no one is.

If Ennis were perfect he never would've let Jack get away in the first place.

If Ennis were perfect, he never would've met Jack at all.


*


When you get right down to it, the only thing that makes Ennis different is Jack. Ennis doesn't do stuff with other guys –- just Jack -– he really only wants Jack, but Ennis does his best not to think about Jack too much, because Jack Twist doesn't fit in real well with his regular life.

Jack doesn't mix with work, or bills, or Alma giving him the dirty eye when he gets out his fishing box and makes like he knows how to use the stuff in there.


*


Sometimes, Ennis forgets that he settled for all this averageness.

Sometimes, he sits out on the porch late at night, rolls himself a smoke, closes his eyes, and feels the breeze seeping under his clothes and against his skin, like he's back up on top of Brokeback Mountain.

He thinks of Jack curled up next to him on the grass, his hand curled just over Ennis' hip as they sleep underneath thousands of stars, and Ennis will feel something so close to peace that his heart will skip a beat. And then a car'll pass by, or one of the girls will cry out in the middle of the night, and Ennis will remember the story of the guys with the tire irons, and he'll think he's glad that he chose this average life.



-end-

Comments

[storm-petrel.livejournal.com]

Ow. Oh god, that actually pains. Giving up what you're afraid to want for mundanity, which only has the comfort of never surprising you. Nice Ennis voice, who only knows just enough to realize what passed him by.

I think I'll have to go hunt out my anthology with Brokeback Mountain, because I haven't read it in a while.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[avid-slacker.livejournal.com]

I can't believe we're getting jack/Ennis fic already. Too cool. I just read the book a few weeks ago and that sounded pretty damn close to Ennis' voice to me.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

What already? This short story's been out for ages!

[faith-girl222.livejournal.com]

I've not yet managed to get a copy of the novella, but I have been regularly squeeing in a most unseemly manner over the trailer. I liked that very much. It's classic you: a detailed, but sparse, portrait of the character. The end made me shiver.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

There are copies floating around on-line; I'm sure if you put up a request one would find its way to your inbox :)

[veryshortlist.livejournal.com]

Oh god. I haven't read the book yet, but your Ennis narrative is so...real. It's a bit haunting really.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

It's just a novella, 20 pages in Word; you should definitely give it a read.

[obeetaybee.livejournal.com]

I voted for Ennis/Jsck and this has definitely fit the bill!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[vertrauen.livejournal.com]

Well then... we'll just have to fix the whole "missing novella" thing.

Brokeback Mountain - The Word Doc (http://s4.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0I2VY5BG3BFB81PBXJ16RFKGD3)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

That's love, man. {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}]

[jcalanthe]

*weeps* Everyone in your story & the original needs a hug or twelve. It does sound just like an older Ennis.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yes, just not enough hugs here at all. {{{{hug}}}}

[asmallbluedot.livejournal.com]

Ahh! First Brokeback story I've read, and just as painfully good as the real thing. This fandom better explode after the movie comes.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I'm expecting it to rain Brokeback Mountain fic in December.

[obsessedmuch.livejournal.com]

*happy sigh* My z is writin' me Brokeback. My kass is writin' me Sawyer.

I? Have died and gone to fucking heaven, baby.

Seriously, girl, it reads like the book - clean, spare, painful. Gorgeous.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

For you, baby girl, you know we do anything :)

[danxsunday.livejournal.com]

you can download the novella doc on phaballa's LJ.
Lovely story btw

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

See, this is what I adore about fandom, the sharing.

[ilexa.livejournal.com]

Oh, God, I love you. The tone and rhythm are gorgeous and its just... achingly beautiful.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you! :)

[daraq.livejournal.com]

OK, I confess that I voted for every option in today's poll. And you gave me what I secretly wanted with your fabulous Kitchen Confidential story, and what I didn't even know I needed with Average Man. Beautiful work, my dear. Lyrical, lovely, painful and so true to the original.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

See, it pays to have diverse interests!

[green-queen.livejournal.com]

And poor Jack is forced to settle for a life he doesn't want because Ennis chose mundanity for him.

Yeah, I know, this story is about Ennis, but I always felt worse for Jack. I love your Ennis voice.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Oh, I always feel worse for Jack, too.

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

No making me cry at work! That was lovely!

Sometimes, Ennis forgets that he settled for all this averageness.

Oh god. For me, that just gets right at the central tragedy of story. It didn't have to be a sad story. Ennis had so many places where he could have made different choices, but he just didn't. And I think you really had some great insight into why he didn't.

Great job. Excuse me while I go sob in the corner over my poor gay cowboys.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear, *hands kleenex*

Would it make it better to hear i'm working on KC/Alias crack!fic?

[topaz7.livejournal.com]

This was great, you're really captured Ennis.

I can't wait for the movie!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Neither can I!

[oxoniensis.livejournal.com]

*whimpers*

That so the opposite of sucks! You've got the Ennis voice, and you've created the whole feel of the movie (well, the trailer *g*) and it's just wonderful! It feels slow and simple, even though it's not, and that's exactly right for the characters, that simple exterior just hinting at so much more underneath.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

*beams with pride*

[prairiedaun.livejournal.com]

Lovely. Thank you.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thank *you*

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

Oh, my slashy heart aches with this perfection of averageness, Ennis style. That's a compliment, btw.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it!

[ex-stops845.livejournal.com]

And then a car'll pass by, or one of the girls will cry out in the middle of the night, and Ennis will remember the story of the guys with the tire irons, and he'll think he's glad that he chose this average life.

Ooh, yes, because it manages to sum up the entire story in one little slice. What you want versus what you know, and settling, in the end, with something well within what's acceptable, and conventional, and yes, mundane.

I can't believe we're getting Jack/Ennis fic already. Too cool.

Ah, the wonders of fandom. Where you can know it and want it at the same time ; )

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You are very kind, thank you for reading and commenting!

[moimoietmoi.livejournal.com]

Very good Ennis voice. The feel and the averageness are perfect.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[cosmic.livejournal.com]

Oh Ennis. This is lovely and fits Ennis's voice perfectly.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[ficbyzee.livejournal.com]

OOooouch. This was sad and understated and just perfect.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[iniaes.livejournal.com]

This is beautiful, so bittersweet and starkly real. You made me cry - but in the nicest way possible, thank you so much for writing it.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

This was slow and full of sorrow and just gorgeous. Loved it so. :)

[trascendenza]

I found this through a rec--this is some seriously gorgeous writing.

Ennis doesn't require much of anything three hundred and some odd days of the year. He only needs a week at a time, honestly.
Guh. Doesn't that just say it all about him? Moving, breathing, working all those other days... but not really living until Jack was with him again.

Of course, without Jack, Ennis is just as regular as everyone else.
That's the really tragic thing about this character. He is pretty much normal except for 'this thing' that has taken hold of him with Jack. Or at least he felt normal before he met Jack and wishes he could go back to that the rest of the year when he's not with him.

...and that makes being married to her an all right deal. She's given him two daughters too, and that's -– that's real good.
*sad sigh* This really gives such a glimpse of what it must have been like between them, wonderfully done. I can so clearly see Ennis thinking this.

...she says she gave him two daughters 'the right way'...
Wow--even though you just passingly mention this, I can picture a whole scene accompanying it because this is so in character. Your prose truly hits the mark.

If Ennis were perfect, he never would've met Jack at all.
Ennis will remember the story of the guys with the tire irons, and he'll think he's glad that he chose this average life.
Gah. :'(

You've captured Ennis so excruciatingly well here. Just amazingly done. Thanks for sharing this :)