Attention all crazy people!

[hackthis_archive]

Yesterday, I made mention of the Rome/Kitchen Confidential/Ocean's 11/Jarhead story that I was going to request for yuletide. Apart from the fact that I'd meant them individually, and you can't request x-overs for Yuletide, and there was that timeline issue –- it really was a brilliant idea. But one which I cannot write alone -- which is where you lot come in.

Start a thread. Write a drabble with one fandom, or two or all four! Add more! Play tag with someone! Come over here and make this work for me. We've even been started off by sparky77 and slodwick:

slodwick: The heartwarming and sexy story of a group of nattily-dressed gourmet chefs who wind up fighting in the Gulf War, under the command of Julius Caesar, while planning a heist, right? I think it's totally doable.

hackthis: I was thinking of that advert on telly with the invading hordes coming to Nolita, while Rusty and Danny are planning a heist, and the army come in to roust the hordes. Could happen.

sparkyy77: And now I imagining Jake Gyllenhaal naked (I'm not quite sure how he got naked) and wearing a Santa hat sneaking into the Nolita kitchen and accidently bumping into Rusty who was also sneaking into the kitchen. And at first it looks like they're going to fight, but then they discover cake and are both all 'yay cake!' so they eat it with their fingers because they're too lazy to find forks and then in a fit of sugar induced lust they have sex on the kitchen floor and Jake gives Rusty his Santa Hat and they go their seperate ways until the Nolita staff discovers that their cake is missing and vows revenge.

And like they say in Clue it could've happened that way or... what?

Don't know Jarhead from Fathead? Who cares?! It's Jake Gyllenhaal in the Marines! Never seen Kitchen Confidential? Not a problem! It's Will Tippin in a kitchen! If you've seen Anthony Bourdain on the Food Network then you're already there! Say all you know about Rome is the Shakespearean version? It's okay, the show's not playing accurate anyway! Just think of the Capital One adverst with the invading hordes!

*sits and waits*

Comments

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

you are BRILLIANT.

*sits and waits with you*

sorry I yelled at you lol

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

“Tess wouldn’t have gotten me into this mess.” Rusty wiped crumbs from the hotdog bun off his lapel and lifted his chin towards the window of Nolita.

“You don’t mention Tess, and I don’t mention your stretch in the service of the Republic.” Danny straightened his tie meaningfully.

“And by the Republic you mean when I stole the wrong identity and ended up in the Gulf War…or that other thing.” Rusty watched the wait-staff in the restaurant smoothing linen and futzing over center pieces.

“We definitely agreed never to talk about that other thing.” Danny lifted an eyebrow at the back of Rusty’s head.

“You have the hair for it, though.” Rusty’s laughter hit Danny in the chest, just like always.

“Hey Russ, at least you had to cut off that almost mullet you were sporting there for a while.” The joke was half-delivered because Danny’s poker face always ended up underfoot when it came to Rusty.

“Low blow, Danius Marus.”

Totally not related.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Vorenus just stared. There were streets not lined with dirt, they were hard in fact, and the people, there were huge shiny objects that he couldn't even begin to identify. They made strange noises, and he derw his sword, preparing for an attack, but the strange object didn't even move. The people were shorter and more colored. Some had paint and some didn't and they looked at him as though *he* didn't belong. Which was just wrong.

"This is the last time I let you lead, Pullo," he snapped over his shoulder. When there was no answer from Pullo, Lucius looked again.

Pullo was staring at a short, elderly man standing by a shining card on wheels. "Look, you want a hot dog or not?" the short man asked him.

"What's this hot dog of which you speak?" Pullo asked.

Lucius lowered his sword and joined Pullo in studying the man. He held a piece of bread and something pinkish-brown that only vaguely reminded Lucius of sausage.

"Don't do that!" the man shouted when Lucius poked the sausage with his sword. "Fucking tourists."

"How many times do I have to tell you to get away from my restaurant?" Vorenus looked up when a voice projected near them. There was a man with yellow-colored hair wearing a bright white toga. It vaguely reminded Vorenus of his own magistrate toga.

The yellow-haired man eyed he and Pullo curiously. "I thought Gay Pride was in the summer?"

Re: Totally not related.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

“Remember when I told you this plan sucked?” Rusty froze the lock on loading dock doors leading straight into the cooler of Nolita and shattered the metal with a wrench.

“I make the plans, you execute the plans. Clear?” Danny’s voice was tight. He obviously knew that using Pullo and Vorenus as a distraction was dodgey at best. Probably more like fundamentally flawed. “Besides, Jack really deserves it.”

“But I mean, voodoo, didn’t we discuss how severed chicken heads puts me off my…” Rusty looked over at Danny’s incredulous look. “Ok, fine, nothing really puts me off food, but in theory, it could.”

“All I have to say to that is sea cucumber soup.” Shoving past Rusty, Danny shouldered the door open.

“Sea cucumbers are quite tasty, Daniel. And if Vorenus tries to kill me with a sword again, I'm going to be angry with you."

[chicklet-girl.livejournal.com]

I don't have a drabble for your gigantor crossover (yet), but I thought you'd want to know about: according to The Star, Jake is such good friends with Mario Batali, that sometimes he goes and does prep work in the kitchen at Babbo. Not sure how reliable a tip it is, but Lord, does it put me in a weird, quasi-RPS frame of mind.

Jake + Jack + Steven = Chicklet fall down and go boom

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

O_O

[chicklet-girl.livejournal.com]

I am unfamiliar with that emoticon. Have I rendered you catatonic? Because I was expecting flailing, but catatonia is pretty awesome, too.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

That's my OMGWTF reponse.

[tir.livejournal.com]

Hm. Perhaps, Nolita is such a success that Jack and co. get hired on by the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, where, really, any number of infinitely improbable things could happen. Especially once Rusty and Danny steal the Heart of Gold (after Zaphod's already stolen it), pick up Pullo and Vorenus by accident, and Jake's clothes suddenly become ten sizes too small and tear off. And, and that way your lovely little multiverse also includes Ford Prefect as played by Mos Def.

Happy now? ;)

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

This is all beyond fabulously awesome. This just might be the crossover that eats my brain. But I won't really care as long as there is an orgy. Jack+Steven+Danny+Rusty+Jake+Pullo+Lucius= hotness.