SG:A – In the Absence of Colour
Jan. 29th, 2006 09:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveToday is the most beloved ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
oxoniensis's birthday. For her, I venture into the SGA waters, not once, not twice, but three times. Happy Birthday, sweetie, may the new year bring you everything fabulous your heart desires. It’s truly my honor to have your wisdom and friendship in my life.
Stargate:Atlantis
Sheppard/McKay
In the Absence of Color
Crunch.
Bitch.
Crunch.
Whine.
Crunch.
“Oh, for the love of a god that only a non–technologically–advanced society would believe in, enough is enough!”
“Rodney.”
“I’m just saying!”
It was eerily silent on M2X-351, except for the sound of John’s footsteps breaking through the packed snow, and Rodney complaining behind him. The snow fell in gentle flakes around them, the air brisk and punishing despite the lack of wind. The sky was grey for as far as the eye could stretch. There was no sun, no moon, no visible life of any sort. If they had been somewhere else, it might’ve been beautiful. Or it would’ve been beautiful if John had never been sent to McMurdo, and Rodney was able to shut up about how they didn’t even have any vodka to stave off the cold, like in Russia.
“I didn’t come to another galaxy just to freeze my nether regions,” Rodney griped over John’s left shoulder for the third time. "I could've stayed in my own galaxy for that."
Crunch.
John looked down at the P90 in his hands and loosened his hold fractionally. Shooting Rodney was a bad idea. It would deplete his sexual activities drastically, and the bitching, God, he’d never hear the end of it.
Crunch.
It was at moments such as these that John regretted sending Ronon off with Teyla, or more accurately, letting Ronon run away with Teyla and leaving him alone with Rodney’s big mouth. Shaking off a second of almost-nostalgia for the warmth of Afghanistan, John soldiered on. “I’ll be certain to share your concerns with Elizabeth as soon as we get back,” he said idly, eyes scouting the horizon for anything that wasn‘t white, white, or more white “I’m sure she’d be more than happy to only send you to tropical planets with mosquito-like insects the size of your fist.”
From the moment they’d landed, Rodney had gone into Defcon 1 Bitch Mode, and John just wasn‘t in the mood. He didn’t mind humoring Rodney 95% of the time, but the other 5%, when they were in life-altering danger, or when Rodney was insulting everything that breathed, well. When it wasn't endearing, it was incredibly tedious white noise.
Crunch.
Complain.
M2X-351 was covered entirely in snow, and while privately John might have agreed with Rodney’s point of view, that wasn’t going to get the recon done any faster. He was just as cold as Rodney. He couldn’t feel his extremities either. If he’d known it was going to be this cold, well, even at McMurdo they’d had heat. This was just mean.
Rodney made a choking noise. “Do you have any idea of the sort of diseases insects carry? I could end up with West Nile, or whatever passes for West Nile out here. My brain could swell up and come out my ears. If that were to happen, you would be in a lot of trouble, Colonel. Do we even have a contingency plan in place if I come down with some tropical disease that we can’t pronounce? No, I didn’t think we did.”
Crunch.
John sighed. “Then it’s a good thing that we’re not in the tropics, isn’t it?”
“Well, I would certainly say so,” Rodney huffed. “Some of us have seen the Discovery Channel, if only to mock our peers by the way, and have you seen the size of the spiders in the Amazon? They could eat a baby whole. And all they eat in the Amazon is citrus and melon, if I didn’t get attacked by a mutant tarantula, I’d eat the wrong thing and then --”
“I know, I know” John sighed and stopped in his tracks. “Your brain would swell up and ooze out your ears, and we don’t even have proper antibiotics, and we‘re all woefully unappreciative of you and your fabulous gifts.”
Rodney’s footsteps crunched to a stop beside him. “Well, at least you’ve been listening,” he huffed, his breath coming out in white puffs. “I’m a very important man, you know, and if anything happened to me--”
“I know, I know, the world would end and we’d all be sucked into a void sadly bereft of your complaining.” John shifted his P90 to one hand and pinched the bridge of his nose with the tips of his gloves, closing his eyes to give himself a moment. If he stopped looking so hard for something, maybe it would just jump out at him.
“Was that supposed to be a joke, Colonel?”
He winced internally. Rodney saved the Colonel routine for Caldwell or when John had made an egregious error in the Etiquette According to Rodney McKay books.
John opened one eye to Rodney’s scowl. “Ha ha?” he said hopefully, opening both eyes widely and trying to assuage Rodney with Puppy Dog Look #4.
“You are woefully unamusing.” Rodney crossed his arms and his bottom lip did this thing that looked a lot like a pout. The heat that was missing from John‘s fingers and lips pooled low in his stomach. Rodney didn’t pout, Rodney complained. A lot. All the time.
Rodney pouting put John's world off its axis. Rodney's tongue wetting his lips put other things off their axis. Rodney’s black woolen knit hat came down almost to his eyebrows and his cheeks were bright red from the cold. His eyes seemed all the bluer for the absence of any surrounding color.
John took a preemptive step back before he actually tried to have sex in sub-zero temperatures and lost something important. He cleared his throat instead. “Look, we’re almost done. We’ve been walking long enough to know that there’s nothing out here but us and the snow. Just hang in there a little bit longer. For me.”
The aggravated look that Rodney had been giving him melted away. “That’s not fair,” Rodney protested, taking a crunching step closer to John. The snow fell between them easily, and John couldn’t help but notice the snowflakes sticking to Rodney’s eyelashes.
“What’s not fair?” he asked, squinting as his own knit hat slid down over his eyes.
“You! This!” Rodney sputtered, waving at John and the sky and the snow. “Here I am trying to bitch my way through the cold, and instead of telling me to suck it up, you say to do it for you! That’s not fair! That’s how empires have crumbled and wars have been lost -- well, that and that pouting thing you do.”
At this explanation, John pushed his hat back a bit and grinned. “I don’t know, you seem to have a pout all your own. Have you been working on that?”
Rodney’s scowled. “No. Yes. Shut up and keep walking before I change my mind and leave you out here to freeze off your stupid hair and swaggering hips.”
John’s laugh vibrated all the way down to his toes. “Swaggering hips?”
“Oh, please, don’t even pretend not to know what I’m talking about.”
“I don’t!”
Rodney gave John the Rodney Is Not Amused Glare. “I have enough citations and diplomas to wallpaper all of Atlantis. Do not try to pretend that I’m stupid. I’ve watched you walk enough to know that -- well, you do that thing you do.”
“You watch me walk?” John was trying for incredulous, but he was cold and his lips might have frozen in permanent smirk mode.
He was still trying to move them when Rodney crunched directly into his personal space. His breath was hot and sent pins and needles flaring in John’s cheeks. “You know you're hot, I know you'e hot. Atlantis and the entire Pegasus Galaxy is a slut for you, and if you ever solicit my opinion on this matter again, I will cut you off from sex until you can’t get it up without Viagra.”
John didn’t know whether to be offended, wink, or piss himself laughing, so he did the next best thing and kissed Rodney hard and fast. It was just a shame that he was so cold that he could barely feel it.
Rodney’s eyes were wide-open the entire time. Shocked silence was a good look for him, John would have to try this again some time. “Okay,” he said cheerfully, gesturing back the way they’d come. “We’ll go back now.”
“I hate you,” Rodney said after he’d regained his motor functions.
John bumped against Rodney. “I know you do, but at least I appreciate your genius.”
Rodney snorted. “Only when it’s in relation to how hot you are. Or saving our collective behinds.”
John laughed. “Well, yeah.”
-end-
Beta provided byserialkarma
oxoniensis's birthday. For her, I venture into the SGA waters, not once, not twice, but three times. Happy Birthday, sweetie, may the new year bring you everything fabulous your heart desires. It’s truly my honor to have your wisdom and friendship in my life. Stargate:Atlantis
Sheppard/McKay
Crunch.
Bitch.
Crunch.
Whine.
Crunch.
“Oh, for the love of a god that only a non–technologically–advanced society would believe in, enough is enough!”
“Rodney.”
“I’m just saying!”
It was eerily silent on M2X-351, except for the sound of John’s footsteps breaking through the packed snow, and Rodney complaining behind him. The snow fell in gentle flakes around them, the air brisk and punishing despite the lack of wind. The sky was grey for as far as the eye could stretch. There was no sun, no moon, no visible life of any sort. If they had been somewhere else, it might’ve been beautiful. Or it would’ve been beautiful if John had never been sent to McMurdo, and Rodney was able to shut up about how they didn’t even have any vodka to stave off the cold, like in Russia.
“I didn’t come to another galaxy just to freeze my nether regions,” Rodney griped over John’s left shoulder for the third time. "I could've stayed in my own galaxy for that."
Crunch.
John looked down at the P90 in his hands and loosened his hold fractionally. Shooting Rodney was a bad idea. It would deplete his sexual activities drastically, and the bitching, God, he’d never hear the end of it.
Crunch.
It was at moments such as these that John regretted sending Ronon off with Teyla, or more accurately, letting Ronon run away with Teyla and leaving him alone with Rodney’s big mouth. Shaking off a second of almost-nostalgia for the warmth of Afghanistan, John soldiered on. “I’ll be certain to share your concerns with Elizabeth as soon as we get back,” he said idly, eyes scouting the horizon for anything that wasn‘t white, white, or more white “I’m sure she’d be more than happy to only send you to tropical planets with mosquito-like insects the size of your fist.”
From the moment they’d landed, Rodney had gone into Defcon 1 Bitch Mode, and John just wasn‘t in the mood. He didn’t mind humoring Rodney 95% of the time, but the other 5%, when they were in life-altering danger, or when Rodney was insulting everything that breathed, well. When it wasn't endearing, it was incredibly tedious white noise.
Crunch.
Complain.
M2X-351 was covered entirely in snow, and while privately John might have agreed with Rodney’s point of view, that wasn’t going to get the recon done any faster. He was just as cold as Rodney. He couldn’t feel his extremities either. If he’d known it was going to be this cold, well, even at McMurdo they’d had heat. This was just mean.
Rodney made a choking noise. “Do you have any idea of the sort of diseases insects carry? I could end up with West Nile, or whatever passes for West Nile out here. My brain could swell up and come out my ears. If that were to happen, you would be in a lot of trouble, Colonel. Do we even have a contingency plan in place if I come down with some tropical disease that we can’t pronounce? No, I didn’t think we did.”
Crunch.
John sighed. “Then it’s a good thing that we’re not in the tropics, isn’t it?”
“Well, I would certainly say so,” Rodney huffed. “Some of us have seen the Discovery Channel, if only to mock our peers by the way, and have you seen the size of the spiders in the Amazon? They could eat a baby whole. And all they eat in the Amazon is citrus and melon, if I didn’t get attacked by a mutant tarantula, I’d eat the wrong thing and then --”
“I know, I know” John sighed and stopped in his tracks. “Your brain would swell up and ooze out your ears, and we don’t even have proper antibiotics, and we‘re all woefully unappreciative of you and your fabulous gifts.”
Rodney’s footsteps crunched to a stop beside him. “Well, at least you’ve been listening,” he huffed, his breath coming out in white puffs. “I’m a very important man, you know, and if anything happened to me--”
“I know, I know, the world would end and we’d all be sucked into a void sadly bereft of your complaining.” John shifted his P90 to one hand and pinched the bridge of his nose with the tips of his gloves, closing his eyes to give himself a moment. If he stopped looking so hard for something, maybe it would just jump out at him.
“Was that supposed to be a joke, Colonel?”
He winced internally. Rodney saved the Colonel routine for Caldwell or when John had made an egregious error in the Etiquette According to Rodney McKay books.
John opened one eye to Rodney’s scowl. “Ha ha?” he said hopefully, opening both eyes widely and trying to assuage Rodney with Puppy Dog Look #4.
“You are woefully unamusing.” Rodney crossed his arms and his bottom lip did this thing that looked a lot like a pout. The heat that was missing from John‘s fingers and lips pooled low in his stomach. Rodney didn’t pout, Rodney complained. A lot. All the time.
Rodney pouting put John's world off its axis. Rodney's tongue wetting his lips put other things off their axis. Rodney’s black woolen knit hat came down almost to his eyebrows and his cheeks were bright red from the cold. His eyes seemed all the bluer for the absence of any surrounding color.
John took a preemptive step back before he actually tried to have sex in sub-zero temperatures and lost something important. He cleared his throat instead. “Look, we’re almost done. We’ve been walking long enough to know that there’s nothing out here but us and the snow. Just hang in there a little bit longer. For me.”
The aggravated look that Rodney had been giving him melted away. “That’s not fair,” Rodney protested, taking a crunching step closer to John. The snow fell between them easily, and John couldn’t help but notice the snowflakes sticking to Rodney’s eyelashes.
“What’s not fair?” he asked, squinting as his own knit hat slid down over his eyes.
“You! This!” Rodney sputtered, waving at John and the sky and the snow. “Here I am trying to bitch my way through the cold, and instead of telling me to suck it up, you say to do it for you! That’s not fair! That’s how empires have crumbled and wars have been lost -- well, that and that pouting thing you do.”
At this explanation, John pushed his hat back a bit and grinned. “I don’t know, you seem to have a pout all your own. Have you been working on that?”
Rodney’s scowled. “No. Yes. Shut up and keep walking before I change my mind and leave you out here to freeze off your stupid hair and swaggering hips.”
John’s laugh vibrated all the way down to his toes. “Swaggering hips?”
“Oh, please, don’t even pretend not to know what I’m talking about.”
“I don’t!”
Rodney gave John the Rodney Is Not Amused Glare. “I have enough citations and diplomas to wallpaper all of Atlantis. Do not try to pretend that I’m stupid. I’ve watched you walk enough to know that -- well, you do that thing you do.”
“You watch me walk?” John was trying for incredulous, but he was cold and his lips might have frozen in permanent smirk mode.
He was still trying to move them when Rodney crunched directly into his personal space. His breath was hot and sent pins and needles flaring in John’s cheeks. “You know you're hot, I know you'e hot. Atlantis and the entire Pegasus Galaxy is a slut for you, and if you ever solicit my opinion on this matter again, I will cut you off from sex until you can’t get it up without Viagra.”
John didn’t know whether to be offended, wink, or piss himself laughing, so he did the next best thing and kissed Rodney hard and fast. It was just a shame that he was so cold that he could barely feel it.
Rodney’s eyes were wide-open the entire time. Shocked silence was a good look for him, John would have to try this again some time. “Okay,” he said cheerfully, gesturing back the way they’d come. “We’ll go back now.”
“I hate you,” Rodney said after he’d regained his motor functions.
John bumped against Rodney. “I know you do, but at least I appreciate your genius.”
Rodney snorted. “Only when it’s in relation to how hot you are. Or saving our collective behinds.”
John laughed. “Well, yeah.”
-end-
Beta provided by
serialkarma
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 05:27 pm (UTC)I don't care.
Hart.
Marshall Bruce Mathers III looks like he's wearing matte lipgloss in his wedding pictures to Devil Kim. This is skeering me. Also skeery is that I bought a magazine for said wedding pictures.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:53 pm (UTC)yee!
Date: 2006-01-29 05:28 pm (UTC)Re: yee!
Date: 2006-01-30 05:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 05:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 05:41 pm (UTC)I love it! Ah, you write snarky Rodney so perfectly! And John's reasoning for not shooting Rodney... *laughs*
And I love the image of Rodney trying to perfect a pout of his own - he clearly wants the power John's brings him!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
*hearts*
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 06:33 pm (UTC)John's lucky their lips didn't freeze together, Rodney would never let him hear the end of it :)
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:59 pm (UTC)LMFAO. Can you iamgine them coming back that way?
Carson: What happened?
Rodney: He was dying! I was performing CPR!
Carson: You were dying?
Sheppard [the picture of health]: I was really cold there.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 07:43 pm (UTC)Hilarious. Poor John. Even if he should be too smart to give Rodney that opportunity to bitch that much more. The sex had better be pretty good.
Your Rodney voice is perfect and the image of his in his hat was too cute. I really loved this.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 08:38 pm (UTC)swaggering hips HA!
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 10:14 pm (UTC)Rodney McKay = Darco Malfoy + Watermelon-sized brain.
I'm slowing absorbing that fact. Also, you are briliant.
Again, I ask 'Must I start watching SG:A?'
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 10:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 11:02 pm (UTC)Bitch.
Crunch.
Whine.
Crunch.
and the swaggering.
Just perfect.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 11:44 pm (UTC)LOL! Great story.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 02:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 02:45 am (UTC)I don't even watch this damn show, but I'm all up in this and loving it.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:03 pm (UTC)It's okay, sweetie, I don't watch it either!
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 08:33 am (UTC)“You know you're hot, I know you'e hot. Atlantis and the entire Pegasus Galaxy is a slut for you, and if you ever solicit my opinion on this matter again, I will cut you off from sex until you can’t get it up without Viagra.” <-- ahaha. I loved this and the swaggering hips. And the heat that was missing from everywhere but was pooling at the bottom of John's stomach.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 09:50 am (UTC)The boys! The banter! The snark!
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 10:50 am (UTC)And this:
'Rodney had gone into Defcon 1 Bitch Mode'
hehehehe - wonderful!
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 10:56 am (UTC)<applause>
Have you noticed how many Sheppards are on TV at the moment? You made me check out Grey's Anatomy (I'm hooked) in which Derek (Derrick?) is clearly related to John of SGA-fame, and I'm sure they both have tales of childhood holidays spent with their uncle Christian and cousin Jack (Lost). If Jack grew his hair, I'm sure it'd be as uncontrollably funky as his cousins'. I think Derrick (Derek?) and John got all the sense of humour, though. Jack is seriously uptight.
TV people either need to consider live-action crossovers or seek the help of the telephone directory, I think, for inspiration re: underused names.
Erm.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:16 pm (UTC)I know! I mentioned this to
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 01:22 pm (UTC)Oh, that's perfect!
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 02:47 pm (UTC)Rodney snorted. “Only when it’s in relation to how hot you are. Or saving our collective behinds.”
How true. And funny. Thanks, hon. This made me smile.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-31 04:31 am (UTC)You say that like it's a bad thing. I'm in that mode every day. Well, only in my head -- everyone thinks I'm happy-go-lucky, but inside I'm a boiling cauldron of bitching.
He was still trying to move them when Rodney crunched directly into his personal space. His breath was hot and sent pins and needles flaring in John’s cheeks. “You know you're hot, I know you'e hot. Atlantis and the entire Pegasus Galaxy is a slut for you, and if you ever solicit my opinion on this matter again, I will cut you off from sex until you can’t get it up without Viagra.”
Fantastic image and that hilarious line. I love it.
Thank you for writing this; I know you don't normally. Now go write some HP or some KC or something. *pats your head*