Ari is the best husband ever.

[hackthis_archive]

Okay, so it's occured to me, after a few drinks, that El Jay? A lot like Hollywood and the entertainment industry. Just on a different scale.

You've got your writers/actors, your beta/managers, you've got rec people/agents and artist/directors and you know, like fucking everybody. Everybody helps the industry run, from the extras and grips to the 20 million dollar divas. You've got action stars and porn stars and comedians and dramatic queens. You've got jack-of-all-trades. Hell, you've got like tiers, and activists and shit too. Which then begs the question, in Tinsel Town and all it's satillite areas, New York City theatre, London chic, Bollywood hotties, who the hell are you?

I think I'm like Samuel L. Jackson, the ex-crackhead who just appeared out of nowhere, and then was in every goddamn thing known to man, and you're like, WTF? Snakes on a Plane?! Not always good, not always great, but definitely entertaining in that, "Oh, well, it's just Sam" way.

I reckon this prolly works in the music industry too, but they have bands and stuff, and no one person is a band. You can get your OTP to be a duet, but no man is a band.

John Donne is totally spinning in his grave. Rock.


Tomorrow, I'll do the one with the made up titles. Mebbe. I need another drink.

Comments

[celli]

I'm pretty sure I'm the LJ equivalent of the Saturday morning cartoon people. *uses a muppet icon to prove it*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Kermeeeeee! Kermeeee!

I think you are like Muppet Babies.

[amberlynne.livejournal.com]

I feel like I should run and get you a cappuccino or something. Maybe make you a massage appointment, get your car washed. Heh.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yes, I need a massage, post haste, bitch!

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

I'd love to pretend that I'm George in this world, but I think I'm probably more Tim Robbins.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Lar wants to be Susan Sarandon, ergo, you're married.

[cyanei.livejournal.com]

I am Zach Braff. My acting's nothing brilliant, but I mostly play variations on myself, and a lot of people think I'm more lame than funny, if perhaps in a cute/endearing way. ( ;

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LMFAO.

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

I'm like the solid, dependable character actor whose name nobody can ever remember, but who always turns up in things and you go, "I know that guy. He was in that movie with Sam Jackson. He played the cop who got his face shot off."

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_regina/]

I'm the "and friend" in photo captions - the random socialite with no discernable skills or talents, but who knows enough people to get invited to the cool parties, and who occasionally dabbles in amateur porn. Like Paris Hilton, really, but less well-known.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Hey, but you totally get free swag!

[rozza.livejournal.com]

HAHA I'm like _regina. I'm a friend, a semi-member of the entourage. Once upon a time I passed time by appearing as an extra in a few TV shows, but it was never my passion and now I've moved on. I moved to San Fernando Valley. But I still keep in touch with my old friends, some of whom went on to bigger and better things, and every now and again I show up at their premieres.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Dude, being part of the Entourage is nothing to sniff at. Look at Drama and Turtle.

[venivincere]

I think I might be an aging "B" queen, who really, really wants to thinks she's an "A". I've still got tits, but my mascara keeps running and I need a new dye job.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LMFAO.

[onthehillside.livejournal.com]

Huh. So my friend Ashley and I are watching 2nd season Entourage right now. With wine. And as such, your whole super cool metaphor is lost on us. But I just want to say thank you.

And that I'm sure you're right about the El Jay thing. I'll read it tomorrow, just to make sure.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Enjoy the boys. Love the Ari.

[emella.livejournal.com]

Omgosh, I love this post, it rocks. :D

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

It's the booze. Gets 'em everytime.

[zoetrope.livejournal.com]

Actually, I think that Samuel L. Jackson is a pretty accurate correlation for you - in that too-cool-for-school way ;)

Personally, I think I'm probably the third-rate director who has pretensions towards 'art' and had one or two moderate successes but just isn't on-the-ball enough to network at all the really cool parties. Heh, this is fun.

[neverbeen2spain.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God. Icon love. *love love love*


With an icon like that, I could--dare I say it--rule the world.

[cyclogenesis.livejournal.com]

Ohmygod, I'm probably like, Shannon Elizabeth. I've done decent work in a variety of places, some more forgettable than others, but if people know me it's usually for the one in which I took my clothes off.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LMFAO.

[blythely.livejournal.com]

If we're being matching nationalities, I spose Anna Paquin, what with the dabbling about but only successful in a franchise. But really, tonight Matthew I'm going to be Lee Tamahori.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You just want to dress in drag and then be dragged in by the LAPD. I know what you're all about.

[moonlitpines.livejournal.com]

I totally agree that you're Sam in that bad ass motherfucker who happens to be crazy and it's working for them-way.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LMFAO.

[vylit.livejournal.com]

Hmm... I'm that girl who acts in independent films and does pretty well, but I can usually be found at parties telling people about this incredible script I read that they have to read, or this talented actor they've never heard of, and "hey, did I tell you about the best makeup artist I ever had, because you need them for the production that's starting in three weeks?" People like my acting all right, but they remember me because I told them about the best damn lighting person in the biz, that script that made them so much money that they're pimpin' it like P Diddy, and the location that ended up having exactly what they wanted.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Parker Posey! No, I don't like her, and I like you. Although she did date Ryan Adams. Also, you are totally the person that makes the world go round, because you're a wheeler-dealer. You're like Harvey Weinstein! Only, you know, not.

[antheia.livejournal.com]

I'm totally Scott Mosier (http://imdb.com/name/nm0608714/): sort of creative, and with my own ambitions. But ultimately there to be the organized and managerial presence for my friend, the director. So, kind of a jack-of-all-trades behind the scenes.

Incidentally, this makes greentartanslut Kevin Smith, and analogy that sort of works for her, in an alarming way.

She, however, maintains that I'm Maggie Gyllenhaal, "You keep your head down, but you know your shit." I'll take that, too, though.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Maggie is good; we like Maggie. She dates Pete!

[fearlessdiva.livejournal.com]

I'd say that I'm like Christian Bale - eccentric and sort of reclusive but shows up every now and then to do some good work - but I'm not sure I'm that talented. I wish I were like Ewan McGregor - always having fun and more than half-inclined to rock out with my metaphorical cock out, so to speak. But I think I'm angstier than that. So I'm not really sure.

I think you are SLJ, though. And I think Kass is George, not Tim Robbins. Cool as shit, sexay, not-so-secretly plotting to rule the world.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

I love you, too, Christie.

Have a whiskey.

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

Oh god. This whole metaphor thing you've got going totally makes me Eric, doesn't it?

*facepalm*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

As long as that doesn't make me Vince. Seriously though, I love Eric. I was watching the end of Season Two and Eric does really good for himself -- when he and Vince aren't arguing like married people. I can't wait till you see Season Two. I mean, yeesh.

[obsessedmuch.livejournal.com]

Damn, I want to be Susan Sarandon -- quirky, opinionated but not in anyone's face about it, aging gracefully, etc etc. But I fear I am more like Molly Ringwold -- my prime time is over, and I'll be forever known as that chick who used to be in all those movies.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Damn, I want to be Susan Sarandon -- quirky, opinionated but not in anyone's face about it, aging gracefully, etc etc.

You and Kassie are so common-law married.

[green-queen.livejournal.com]

I have no idea who I would be. I'm like a fringe director who brings people pretty things but isn't particularly interesting in and of herself and participates less than she should.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Whatever, you totally keep people apprised of everything. You're like the Editor of Los Angeles magazine or something.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

you're samuel jackson? no wonder i like you so much! :D

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL.

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I guess I'm the small time actor/manager who most people haven't heard of but sometimes gets invited to the cool parties and surprisingly enough, knows most of the people at the parties.

This is fun. George or SLJ is a tough call for you.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

It's all about who you know, not what you know.

[torchthisnow.livejournal.com]

I think I will rely on you to tell me who I am, although I'm afraid you're going to say that I'm, like, somebody lame who is bad at smoking pot. Like Kirk Cameron or something.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

*snicker* We really must do that again.

[literaryll.livejournal.com]

I think this means that I am either a whore or a drug dealer LOL

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You're the best drug dealer in town. You prolly get Snoop his stuff.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I'm some highly connected agent's administrative assistant. If you want something, I know where it is and how to find it, and I can totally match talent to any project you care to name. But I don't have the clothes, the smile, the confidence, or the social skills to be an agent myself.

*wonders what this metaphor's equivalent of ordering out for lunch is*