Clooney in 2008

[hackthis_archive]

Whose House? George's House!

The President of the United States took time out from his humanitarian efforts in the Sudan region to answer a few questions about the mid-term elections, making the world a better place for the First Son, who gets sedated the most in his Cabinet and what's the deal with his ex-partner.



Q: Mr. President you must be thrilled about the results of the mid-term elections. What are your plans now that your party is in control of Congress? –- The Washington Post

President Clooney: Well, I would be lying if I said our party taking over control of Congress didn't make me at least a little happy. Tomorrow, Pinky, I think we'll take over the world.

[cue much laughter from the Press Corps]

Q: Mr. President you've been lobbying the UN repeatedly for help in the Darfur region, how does it make you feel to see things happening so slowly? –- The LA Times

President Clooney: As much as I would love to speed the wheel of progress along, a lot, I think we all know what happens when the US sends in troops without thinking things through. I'm hoping we can get better results with humanitarian aid than with military assistance. I'd like to be able to tell my son that I've done all I can to make the world a better place for him.

Q: Mr. President is it true that the Surgeon General (Dr. Gregory House) is prescribing Vicodin willy nilly for Secretary of the Defence Black and Chief of Staff Gold? –- The New York Post

President Clooney: [raises eyebrow] As much as I might like for Lewis and Ari to be sedated around the clock I find it hard to believe that either one of them would take something to diminish their rather gregarious personalities.

The New York Post: So that would be a 'no' then?

President Clooney: I'm sorry to disappoint your editors, but yes that would be a no. The only drugs Lewis and Ari take are the ones their assistants put in their coffee to make them more pliable -- and before anyone gets arrested, yes, that is a joke. Unless it isn't. You would have to ask Heather and Lloyd.

Q: Mr. President this is a little outside the scope of today's conference, but is it true that before you were the leader of the free world, you put a bumper sticker on Brad Pitt's Prius that said 'I'm Gay and I Vote!' -- Defamer.com

President Clooney: I'd love to be able to say that I'm above such things, but to paraphrase Mr. Washington, 'I cannot tell a lie, I chopped down Mr. Pitt's cherry tree.'

The LA Times: Is that a euphemism, sir?

President Clooney: It is whatever you want it to be as long as you don't tell Anderson. Now if you'll excuse me I have to meet with Vice President Obama and take care of the First Son's two o'clock feeding. It's not easy being a working parent, you guys should try it.

The Clooney Fan Club: We love you Mr. President!

President Clooney: Your country loves you too, so don't forget to vote.


I'd meant to post this last week but forgot. Still, it's never too soon to register to vote for the next election. Just saying.

Comments

[ladydey.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, President Clooney!! Heeeee, so good. I like how he lets the fan club in to press conferences - such a president of the people.

[lotesse]

...I want to live in your world...

omg lewis black!

[restless-jedi.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. You used the "I'm gay and I vote" bumper sticker thing! I've wanted to see that for forever!

[dopplegl.livejournal.com]

That cabinet is the world's greatest cabinet ever.

[avid-slacker.livejournal.com]

President George just never stops being cool.

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

*joyous maniac glee*

Oh, baby, you know I love you, right??

Oh, the Brad Pitt one was choice. *grin*

[teaspoon.livejournal.com]

i laugh and laugh and laugh. <3<.

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

Let's see... First let's talk about about the awesomeness of House as Surgeon General and the let's discuss the delightfully wrong images presented by 'I cannot tell a lie, I chopped down Mr. Pitt's cherry tree.' and we'll conclude with a resounding "Yay!" and a "Oh my god, I love you so much!"

[vertrauen.livejournal.com]

*beams*

[the-oscar-cat.livejournal.com]

President Clooney: It is whatever you want it to be as long as you don't tell Anderson. Now if you'll excuse me I have to meet with Vice President Barack and take care of the First Son's two o'clock feeding. It's not easy being a working parent, you guys should try it.

i have big love for President Clooney!

[circe-tigana.livejournal.com]

rawk

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

Surgeon General House! Does he wear the uniform? (And what does James think of it?)

[rubywisp.livejournal.com]

i love it when you bring the crack like this. \m/

[ladydey.livejournal.com]

So what does the President have to say about this (or does this count as pre-presidency:

http://people.aol.com/people/article/0,26334,1559649,00.html

[flyingtapes.livejournal.com]

ha! I knew House would be the Surgeon General. brilliant.