Real Fingerprints: A Grand Scheme/Hackthis Frankenstein Mix Production. Kinda.

[hackthis_archive]

Yesterday I broke and wrote proper Petrellicest. Sigh. I WIN! I'm Not the Man They Think I Am At Home

1) “George kept grabbing my ass [on the set],” Mac says. “There are two things that you don't do to a black man: one, talk about his mama; two, grab his ass. Please tell George that.”

I see they are trying to trick me into thinking Ocean's Thirteen will be good. I'm not buying it Bernie. Even if you are fucking funny. And speak the truth. Also, O11 people, check out musesfool's cracking story: Urge for Going It's just like, yeah.

2) antheia is very interested in shirtless Peter Petrelli. I am less so, but you know anything in the name of research.

3) literaryll scanned the Heroes page from the most recent Time magazine in the name of promoting that dysfunctional love that dare not speak its name. She also bought me coal. I heart literaryll

4) YAY!!!111!! for everybody who got their yuletide sorted out on time! Go team us! Also, go team pinch hitters, b/c you all rock!

5) Attention all burgeoning mixologists: calikali's December Frankenstein Mix is making the soundtrack to your own ideal romantic comedy. Now I'm more of an indie crime caper/black comedy/mindfuck type of person, which caused me a moment of pause, but the lady said it doesn't have to be a cliché and if I can dig it and so should you.





Real Fingerprints: A Grand Scheme/hackthis Frankenstein Mix Production



Opening Credits

San Francisco, California. Two women in their early 30s sit at a breakfast table in their pyjamas discussing crappy ex-boyfriends, jeans that never seem to fit, the latest Jake Gyllenhaal film, and why Scientologsts are all crackpots. Over the shoulder of one girl we see the morning news, apparently there were a slew of robberies the night before: a jewelry store, the Prada store and Niketown in Union Square. Girl A, Olivia, turns to girl B, Norah, and shrugs. "I needed new running shoes." Ben Lee 'Household Name'


Introduction of the Kickass, Yet Lonely Heroine

Olivia Jones earns minor ducats at a thankless job. At least that's what she tells everyone she knows, including her family. The truth isn't quite that bad, but if she admitted that then she couldn't quote Clueless and Office Space to her colleagues. She works in the marketing department of Super!Big Conglomerate of Doom, while her roommate, Norah, works on the accounting side. They work, they go to the gym, they go the bar, and occasionally they rob various businesses. The usual.

Her big brother, Nick, can't believe she went to Stanford for this.

Except that Olivia doesn't rob for the capital, because money, while being nice, only causes problems in the long run. Most of the spoils she and Norah appropriate tend to get funneled into other projects: charities, money market accounts, shoes. Most of the cash and jewelry they turn over to Nick, because, well, Nick is family and their big money is in computer hacking. All computer jobs are done on a contractual basis -– the old school robbery is just for shits and giggles and family pride.

Oh, did we not mention the part about keeping up with the Joneses?

Yeah, Olivia's whole family is on the make. This is why she tells her parents she has a normal job, because she's trying to be like everyone else. It's not working out so well. Some things just come naturally. Like, being a crook? It comes naturally. At least according to her dad. Frank Sinatra 'That's Life'


Introduction of the Sensitive, Yet Manly Hero

Ben MacAllister is the usual: tall, dark, handsome, sporty, All-American. No, wait -- pan the camera right -- that's his best friend Steven. Ben is tall, pale, wears glasses and is a tech geek. He also happens to head up his own band of Merry Men (and women): a five-star soux chef (Steven), a neurotic accountant (Nolan), his little sister, Julie, and her best friend, Justin, who has a crush on Steven. It's a little dysfunctional, but they're responsible for some of the best computer hacking jobs in the last five years. The thing at UCLA last week? That was Justin trying to impress Steven. Seriously though, Ben's love is building websites. The hacking thing is just for shits and giggles and large sums of money to put Julie through CalTech. Regina Spektor 'Fidelity'


Our Heroes Meet

Most people buy their computer hard drives at the computer store or online or through Craiglist. People who need special drives go to special people. People who are pretending to act like everyone else buy their computer hardwear in bulk at Costco. And this is where Olivia and Ben meet. Olivia's in her Sunday best slovenly wear, hungover from too many beers; Ben is in his geeky everyday best, carrying a supersized coffee container.

His shirt is in binary; her shirt pledges allegiance to Darth Vader.

It's cute. It could happen. Or it would if Steven didn't show up to get his man. And what's this, Norah knows Steven too? Damn, San Francisco is a small town. k-os 'Sunday Morning'


Our Heroes Go On a Wacky First Date

Wednesday night is Girls Night Dinking. No, not girls night out, girls night drinking. Big difference. Girls drinking are generally not looking for interruptions -- except -- what's this? Ben and his band of Merry Men celebrating a hack well done? Oh, well, if you insist. One shot, two shots, three shots, floor. Five shots, six shots, seven shots, no more. Fatboy Slim ' Don't Let the Man Get You Down'


Our Heroes Deconstruct Each Other With Their Respective Best Friends

The hangover after the night before finds Norah and Olivia discussing jobs. Correction: Olivia is discussing jobs, Norah is discussing Nolan. "If you're so attracted to the neurotic types, why do you always end up with guys like Steven?" Olivia asks.

Norah scoffs. "I don’t end up with anything but cold hard cash. It makes the best footwarmer."

"Wow, it must suck to be you," Olivia mocks.

"Well, until Nick realizes our true love, I'm just biding my time." Norah's had a crush on Nick since she and Olivia were in braces and drawing sparkly hearts around New Kids on the Block pictures. Norah smiles. "But you seemed to have a good time with Ben."

"I have no idea what you're referring to," Olivia mutters.

"Shots out of bellybuttons say differently," Norah mocks. Flying Lizards 'I Want Money'


Our Heroes Have a Significantly Better Second Date

It's San Francisco. Everybody is San Francisco drinks coffee. It's like Seattle that way. There's a launderette below Market Street that's a coffee bar/launderette/live music establishment. The girls like to do their laundry there on Thursday nights. On this night Norah has a date -– with Nolan –- so Olivia is trying to do laundry, doing recon on her laptop, and ignoring the sounds of a cat being strangled on stage. Enter Ben.

"I've never seen you here before," she says.

"I've never been here before," he says.

"And you just happened to being walking by?"

"Actually, I made Nolan ask Norah where you were."

"Aren't you supposed to play this cool?"

"You did vodka shots out of my bellybutton," Ben says.

Olivia nods. "Point made." The Streets 'Let's Push Things Forward'


The Significant Moment in Which Our Heroes Fall in Love (montage)

It's the stupid things that make them fall in love. Having brunch with Nolan and Norah and listening to them argue about playing Civilization. Geeking out over Battlestar Galactica. Calling each other on the phone for commentary while they watch The Daily Show and Colbert Report. This is a actually split screen scene where you see them also getting ready to commit various forms of cybertheft and/or preparing to go out and do something totally illegal. Joe Purdy 'Trouble'


Our Heroes Make Love for the First Time

The sex is a total accident, well, inasmuch as sex is ever an "accident", but Ben and Olivia spend so much time with computers and on-line that sometimes they forget what it's like to touch someone else. It's addictive – the feel of real fingerprints on your skin. Jeff Buckley 'I Know We Could Be So Happy Baby (If we wanted to be)


The Tragic Misunderstanding and Breakup

Later on Olivia will blame Nick. And Norah. And her family. And pretty much everybody for something she suspected from the beginning, but there's not really that much tragic misunderstanding about pulling a routine military hack and finding someone else's cyber prints have wrecked the whole thing. A little work, a lot of coffee, and Norah comes home to find Olivia sitting up watching reruns of the Chappelle show, her laptop uploading a little gift to Ben.

"I should've stuck with good old fashioned robbery," she says, showing Norah the printouts that lead not to Ben, or to Steven, or to Nolan, but to Julie.

"This doesn't prove anything," Norah protests feebly.

"I don't know about your family," Olivia says, "but in my family, it's all about proving who can pull the bigger con. Who can fuck the other person over more."

Norah sighs. "What did you do?"

"I sent him one of those mind-numbing viruses that self replicates all over your entire server, sends your entire hard drive back to the creator, and then commits seppuku. Very messy seppuku."

Norah winces. "I'll break up with Nolan tomorrow."

Olivia rolls her eyes. "Don't be a dumbass."

"Oh, thank god. I thought that was taking loyalty too far, but you never know." Ella Fitzgerald 'I'm Just a Lucky So-and-So


The Montage of Attempting to Move On and Failing Horribly

After a few days of resolutely not bitching everyone out and failing miserably, Norah goes home to visit her family, who are, well, you know family. Her father is locked down in his office working on blueprints to the Prado; her other father is sitting in the kitchen working his way through half a bag of Frito Lays and watching Oprah. Norah stops in the kitchen, kisses her dad hello and then goes down the hall and into the vault. Daniel Jones nee Ocean looks pretty good for his age as far as his daughter is concerned.

"Nick said you might be coming by," her dad remarks from his desk, which is swimming in aging blueprints.

"Did Nick also tell you that boys suck?"

Olivia's dad chuckles. "I say that to your father all the time." Basement Jaxx 'Good Luck'


The Montage of Missing Each Other

Olivia doesn't miss Ben. She just can't seem to function right without him. She screws up at work, almost gets caught doing a routine break-in at H&M, and her hairdresser announces he's moving to New York. It doesn't help that apparently Norah and Nolan are now so serious about each other that Norah's handed in her notice at Super!Big Conglomerate of Doom. Apparently she's going into the Neurotic and Dodgy Tax Advisory For Cons business with Nolan. Get Set Go 'I Hate Everyone'


The Chance Meeting

Chance schmance. The whole Norah abdication thing kind of sends Olivia over the edge and she finds herself stomping into Ben's place of business after getting a really shitty haircut from the woman who's replaced her hairdresser. There's really only so much a woman can take before she snaps. Which is what Olivia proceeds to do all over Ben's office, much to his amusement. Naturally, this only makes things worse -- she blames the hair.

"I was fine before you came along with your stupid binary shirts and Clark Kent glasses! There's nothing wrong with being single! I had a good life! I have two dads, ten uncles, and a big brother if I want male company!" she snaps. "I don’t miss your floppy hair or playing Scrabble or how big your hands are or reading your e-mail either!"

Ben cocks his head to the side, his hair doing that stupid flopping thing across his forehead. Olivia hates boys. "Which e-mail account?" he asks curiously. "After your little present, we had to start all over again."

"Not the one that has anything good in it," Olivia replies sullenly. "And don’t take the Donnelly job, they're all psychotic and won't let you work because they have to have an update every eight seconds."

Ben's trying not to smile, which only pisses Olivia off more. "Anything else?"

"You suck."

"I miss you too."

Olivia blinks, turns on her heel and stomps out. There's really only one solution for this. Shoe shopping. Lots of it. Prince 'How Come U Don't Call Me Anymore'


The Reconciliation

Olivia likes big gestures. Like her dad wooed her other dad by robbing three casinos. She wants stuff like that. Or at least she tells herself she wants stuff like that, so after several drinks she decides it's time to hack Super!Big Conglomerate of Doom. You know, for the greater good. Naturally, the whole thing gets shot to shit, because you should never work on half a bottle of vodka. When she calls Norah's cell phone in a drunken panic, Nolan answers instead and Olivia doesn't meant to tell him that she'd jacked up everything, but again, vodka is not her friend. Cue a visit by Ben and his Merry Men. There's much arguing (Olivia and Ben), much drinking (Steven), much panicking (Olivia), more arguing (Olivia and Ben, again), sex in the hall closet (also, Olivia and Ben), hacker success, and then everybody passing out. Gomez 'Shot Shot'


Closing Credits

The morning after the night before, Olivia wakes up to find herself drooling on Ben's shoulder, and Norah and Nolan cooking eggs in the kitchen. Olivia disentangles herself from Ben and stumbles into the kitchen, almost tripping over Steven passed out on the floor.

"I'm sorry about the, you know," she says by way of apology. "I just – it's his fault," she says, waving behind her. "He makes me crazy."

Nolan snorts, Norah just smirks. "Whatever, you were crazy long before he came along."

"Not helping here," Olivia points out. "Anyway, I think it's time to leave Super!Big Conglomerate of Doom. When you're hacking your employer, you need a job change."

Olivia jumps when arms slide around her waist. "You could always come work for me," Ben says.

Olivia scoffs. "Yeah, like I'd join you and your–-"

"My what?" Ben prompts.

"Your den of crack theives!" Olivia says, pointing to Steven's comatose form.

Ben snickers in her ear. "I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you're a theif too, you know."

Olivia's been running from this her entire life. She's tired. She's ready to face facts. Besides, sleeping with the boss has to be good for something. "Fine. You win. How's your 401K?"

Norah cracks up. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

The Clash 'The Magnificent Seven'



THE END

Zip here.

Comments

[thepouncer.livejournal.com]

The Streets link is recursive, just so you know.

And I would totally watch this movie or read this book. A girl's gotta have priorities, and shoes are high on my list.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Have sorted out The Streets (http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=4E10AF3A04AA16AF). Thanks!

[antheia.livejournal.com]

It's just a matter of time before you're addicted to writing the Petrelli-cest. ♥

1) AHAHAHA

2) I really really am. He's so pretty. Although, disc one of Profit should be arriving tomorrow, so.

3) So hot.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

It's just a matter of time before you're addicted to writing the Petrelli-cest. ♥

I think we passed that point about three exits back.

[antheia.livejournal.com]

True. Honestly, I'd started to make a comment about how it was going to become more and more explicit, but then I remembered that that's not necessarily so in your case. And was, somehow, too lazy to edit. *sigh*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I was talking to someone else earlier about this and said that you know, I don't think, for me, they're about the crazy porn as much as they're about the hint that it's there and they're trying to hide it from themselves and other people. I have a whole story to write about the one time Peter did try to change for Nathan, the suits, the toeing the line, the huge pink elephant that has tea with them every day, and Peter trying to cover up the mark Nathan left on him, but he keeps touching it, and whenever Nathan puts his hand on Peter's neck his thumb rubs against it, and -- is it hot in here?

[antheia.livejournal.com]

I think you're right. It's much more about the air around them - the guilt, the fear, the shame and the arousal those cause (particularly in Catholic boys) than any of the possible acts (that night Peter climbed into bed with Nathan despite his protests that Pete was too old for this shit, and when Pete sidled up against him, like he always used to, and his hand slipped across Nathan's chest and oh god, it's wrong) they might have committed.


Yeah, between you and Darcy? Never getting any work done ever again.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

*blinks* You know that's totally how it started. I think it was fine when Nathan was home from college, and Peter still in the single digits. That was just Peter missing his big brother, but then Nathan graduated and Peter started high school, and Nathan moved out. He spent the night for family parties though and he woke up one night to find Peter sleeping at the foot of his bed and he was all, "Go back to bed," he meant Peter's own bed, but Peter climbed in with him. Nathan rolled over to the edge of the bed, but he woke up with Peter plastered across his back, and he shoould've just kicked him out the bed, and he did, but he hesitated first. He's felt guilty about that ever since.

Or maybe it's not that complex. Maybe all it took was one time when Nathan was going in one direction and Peter was going in another and they did a little dance, that was supposed to be amusing, but Peter kept looking and waiting and it was all over his face, and Nathan was like 'Um, wait, WHAT?'

[antheia.livejournal.com]

This was actually the basis of the fic I'm totally failing to write. I just think it's as simple as that - all their affections have been weirdly displaced, and their interaction with the outside world has told them that it's bad and wrong. And now Nathan feels awful because he did this to his brother, who he was supposed to be protecting. And Peter is wretched over it because he dragged Nathan into the dirt one more time.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Um, why are you hashing this with me when you could be writing it? WELL?!

[antheia.livejournal.com]

Because I'm tease?

Also, have you read I, Lucifer?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I keep being told I should read it, but inevitably stories about men wearing leather trousers don't really interest me.

[antheia.livejournal.com]

You really should. It's not about men wearing leather trousers, anyway. Anyway, I'm re-reading it with the knowledge of who's playing whom in the movie, and it's awesome.

[romancandles.livejournal.com]

Re: All Heroes related business: Awesome. Frankly, I feel as if the Petrellis are not shirtless enough. I am having a Heroes marathon this Christmas. 'Tis the season for 'cest, apparently.

1. I'm seeing it. And I will probably love it. I don't care how bad it is. Also: way to make me almost die an ignoble death choking on coffee.

4. GO TEAM yuletide!

5. Looks good. Taking the zip.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Re: All Heroes related business: Awesome. Frankly, I feel as if the Petrellis are not shirtless enough. I am having a Heroes marathon this Christmas. 'Tis the season for 'cest, apparently.

HAHAHAHAHA.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

that photo/blurb on heroes made me so happy! i only just saw the first three episodes. (ah, gorgeous shot, really.)

and i would totally watch this movie. ♥

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

YAYE. :)

[rosekay.livejournal.com]

Send this in to Steve Soderbergh! I would pay out of my ass to see this on screen. *g*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I feel like this could be Ocean's, err, Fourteen? *does math* Yeah, okay we'd need a couple more people, but it could work.

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

You're not going to believe me, but Ocean's 12 is actually not that bad the second time through. That might just be because I want to take Linus home with me.

I'm excited for Ocean's 13 soley of getting to hear about the fun behind the scenes stuff (and also because I still want to take Linus home with me). I'd rather watch a movie about them filming the movie than the movie itself.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You're not going to believe me, but Ocean's 12 is actually not that bad the second time through.

I call bullshit. *grins broadly*

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

I swear to god! It makes a vague sort of sense and there are at least three time where Matt Damon is so adorable it hurts. And I'm not just saying this to justify the fact that it was in the bargain box at Target and I bought it.

[inkjunket.livejournal.com]

so fabulous. i love it. thank you!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You're welcome!

[misslucyjane]

I want to see this movie now! Great mix, too.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

My job here is done!

[buhfly.livejournal.com]

This is so cute. :D

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks!

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Dude! I love your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter! Also, thanks for the rec and the music. *g*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I had this vision, as I was trying to figure out the story, of Olivia and Ben being the next generation of Danny and Rusty. It was so damn cute I nearly plotzed.

[calikali.livejournal.com]

Awesome mix! And I love the context. Downloading the zip. Thanks!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Enjoy!

[celli]

Ha, awesome. :)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[offscreen.livejournal.com]

Got here via calikali, and I just have to say that I would TOTALLY watch this if it was a movie. AWEsome job.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I will tell my agent right away :)

[literaryll.livejournal.com]

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Back atcha!

[applegnat.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is gasp-inducingly brilliant! I got here via calikali too. Super music, and a cracking good movie. :x

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[resmin.livejournal.com]

You are insane and yet kickass. Thanks for the story and the music. Great title too!

[neongreenleaf.livejournal.com]

Nice mix, snagging the zip. Thanks! ^_^