The gender of liquor or why Whiskey is a man but vodka is just vodka.

[hackthis_archive]

serialkarma and I have been relaying our experiences with whiskey to issaro, who is somewhat confused as to why we continually refer to whiskey as 'he', like it's a person. To which we say it's not about the gender, but because whiskey has personality. Because drinking whiskey is a relationship. And because you don't just drink you whiskey, you experience it. It does shit to you. Just ask all those singers and songwriters.

To these ends I've been asked to post this poll, because I reckon I'm not the only person who has a whole genre on her iPod called 'Drinking'. So.

[Poll #908632]


Here, I will tell you in comments about why you should never drink XXX ...

Comments

[resmin.livejournal.com]

Do I sound like a total degenerate if I say it depends on the beer/vodka/whiskey/tequila? Because a good high-shelf brand of vodka is a guy, a middle-brand is female and Aristocrat is just embarrassed.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what Aristocrat is, which means it must be past the bottom of the barrel.

[resmin.livejournal.com]

It's what the well drinks are made from in most of the restaurants around here. I think it's around 5 bucks for a fifth. It's really that bad.

[topaz7.livejournal.com]

I couldn't vote on vodka, it is neither male nor female. It is, however, my personal kryptonite. I'm getting queasy just thinking about it. ;)

Your mileage may vary.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL. Vodka and I are fine. It's a nice day in the park. Whiskey though. *shudders*

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Jim Beam. Just do not do it.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Also, vodka is the drink of college kids and people who don't know how to drink--unless they are russian.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Vodka is an awesome base and never malign a good cranberry and vodka, or the power of a screwdriver for breakfast. Why am I talking to you, though, you prolly drink PBR.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

I don't really even drink beer, philastine. I stick to Bombay S. and scotch mainly. Or wine. I will have a Bloody Mary from time to time, but only, as you say, for hangover purposes.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Bombay is nasty. Tanqueray all that way. Scotch, big surprise theren Lex. I can't really do red wine, the tannins and I don't agree so much. I do very much like Dry Reislings from Napa though. Oh, and champagne. Gotta love champagne.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Champagne goes without saying. It's like Ab Fab up in this bitch.

Tanqueray is down market.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Tanqueray and tonic is the G&T of champions. Beefeater makes the baby Petrelli gag.

Let me just pop open some Verve Cliquot and we're there.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

I also don't like tonic. I am SUCH a snob I drink gimlets.

Yeah, agreed, Beefeater is what people in 19th Cent brothels drank, wasn't it?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Gimlets. I'll let you know when I stop snickering.

Beefeater should be what they use to clean the toilets.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I have never had Jim. He looks pervy. Jack though. Oh, sweet sweet Jack, who put me on my back -- several times I might add.

[plumtastic.livejournal.com]

Blue Moon (with the orange slice) is such the summertime beer for me now, though I love it so much that I drink it with delight outside, in freezing temperatures just for laughs.

Also, Stella has a HUGE following in town among the hipster set. It's cute. We, of course, still bleed PBR.

(two to try if you ever decide, Sweetwater and the Purple Haze by Abita --because purple beer rocks, and there's nothing quite so smooth)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Stella. Just the name makes you feel classy.

Purple beer, huh? *makes note to self*

[elbomac.livejournal.com]

Classy, yet Stella will fuck you up. Or, at least me.

[obeetaybee.livejournal.com]

Wine is most definitely female and most definitely a bitch. Especially the morning after drinking two bottles the night before.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Wine and I have a very acrimonious relationship. Heaven forbid you have red and white in the same night. She's why I prefer champagne.

[literaryll.livejournal.com]

You're insane ♥

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Liquor is your friend.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

what you mean is that you want us to corrupt you

[literaryll.livejournal.com]

Somebody needs to. I've never had a drink in my life.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Never. NEVER?

[literaryll.livejournal.com]

Never!

Well I had a sip of butterscotch schnapps once but that's it.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Okay, first of all, ew, and second of all, that so doesn't count.

[elzed.livejournal.com]

Of course, in French, beer and vodka ARE female (la biere, la vodka), and wine and whisky male. And I can't think of them in the opposite sex as a result... Love them all (well, beer not so much these days, but on a hot day...) but am more of a man's gal, wine and whisky. And I misspelt Lagavulin on my comment, too. Tsk.

*swigs Chateauneuf du Pape*

[cadillacaro.livejournal.com]

I couldn't quite figure out why I thought beer was female... But now it all makes sense! Stupid French brain...

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Beer and I go in cycles, sometimes all I want is a damn pint, other times, I'm just like 'oh god, no beer!'

[avid-slacker.livejournal.com]

I don't really assign gender to drinks, mostly because I only ever drink mixed "girly" drinks like margaritas, long island iced tea, lemon drops... So by default all of my drinks are female.

I don't really know brands either, except of course, Jose Cuervo, but who isn't friendly with Jose?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Oh, see, I can't deal with most girlie drinks, too sweet. Lemon drops do make excellent shots, but stuff like long island ice teas make my teeth hurt. I'd rather just have a nice shot of tequila and lick somebody.

[paige-eliz.livejournal.com]

Fantastic poll. Reminds me of the only phone survey I ever deemed important enough to take part in...

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL. Your icon says it all.

[khana.livejournal.com]

Beer is neutral, vodka and whiskey are male. Just because the German dictionary says so. (Das Bier, der Vodka, der Whiskey.)
Sometimes languages that define gender with the article are great. I was so confused when about a week ago I learned that countries are generally female in english...

[liseuse.livejournal.com]

I live for Hendricks and Fever Tree Tonic. Just so yummy. Juniper and gorgeous tonic.

That said, I would die a happy girl if I could drink Guinness and champagne for the rest of my life. Mixed, obviously, into a Black Velvet.

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

I will never understand the compulsion to mix drinks with milk. It's just bad and wrong.

[wildrosesings.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm. Liquor's gender varies with the liquor and the occasion for me. Which probably says more about me!

[issaro.livejournal.com]

Wow. You learn new things everyday. 75%.... that's just amazing.

[pandorablu.livejournal.com]

The only time I've ever actually fallen on my ass was after a night of drinking Crown Royal. Still makes me shudder thinking about it. So yes, whiskey is most definitely male.