hackthis_archive | George Clooney is on The Golden Girls right now. Oh, and some show called Heroes.

It occurs to me that some of you might've thought I was joking last week when I talked about being burned out on Heroes; I assure you I was quite serious. I was so serious in fact that over the last several days I've had conversations with my nearest and dearest about taking off for other parts of fandom. Why would I do this you ask? Well for a couple reasons, some of them having to do with the total lack of spoiler discretion, which really fucking pissed me off this summer. It's bad every summer that's true, but this summer it seemed almost like people reveled in it.

A great part of shows for me is the surprise reveal, when you tell me what the surprise is -- story arc, casting, ass babies -- well, then there's really not much for me to look forward too.

The second, more pressing reason is that as much as I adore my primary ship, Nathan/Peter is not a happy thing to write. I may enjoy the stories themselves as finished products, but writing them on occasion is really draining.

To continually go after a pairing where you know that not only is there no happy ending, most of the time there's not even a happy middle, or a happy start and everybody's depressed and fucked-up and feeling like shit. Dude, that takes a lot out of me as a person. Yesterday, I had this very conversation with another writer and we both thought that maybe our time had come, and it was time to break and head to other lands -- not permanently, but just until the emotional toll wasn't more than the reward.

In fact, I had no plans to watch last nights premiere, and I say that in all seriousness as pretty much anybody who talked to me yesterday will attest. Even when the text messages started coming of OMG! DUDE! PETRELLIS! I wasn't convinced. I can be stubborn that way. In fact I only went there on direct orders from

antheia. She can be scary sometimes.

So. Where to begin? In a shipping container in Cork? No, wait, that comes later.

So my Heroes viewing went like this:

1) Don't wanna! Don't wanna!

2) Pour big glass of Shiraz

3) Since when is Parkman all Daniel Craig for the NYPD? The fuck? *more Shiraz*

4) Since when -- THEY LET PARKMAN HAVE CUSTODY OF MOLLY? I wouldn't let him take care of a Chia Pet! This must be Mr. Bennett's doing. Still, thank the Lords of Kobol that Janice Parkman is gone, man, I couldn't stand her at all.

4a) Wait Mohinder AND Parkman have joint custody?! Wow, I guess the zapped gayness of Zach has come back to wreak its revenge. Where's the Mohinder/Parkman at now, people? It's My Two Dads. Man, Sylar is gonna be pissed.

5) Nathan! That's Nathan! I'd know the Beard of Porn anywhere!

6) *more wine*

7) Is Maya's brother hot? I can't tell in all this dark lighting.

8) Nathan. OH GODS! Nathan has become a drunk over his loss of Peter. Wow. No slash, huh, Tim? And he's living in Peter's flat. Jerking off in Peter's bed. Did I type that outloud?

8a) Oh shit, Heidi and the kids left! Huh. *shoots emerging plot bunny*

8b) Nathan called Mama Petrelli EVOL? Oh snap! We've gone from Advanced Idealism 203 to Misanthropy for Independent Study. You see what happens when you set your boys up to be soley dependent on each other? You are Fucked!

9) Verbatim text to

serialkarma and

antheia -- Wait. Slow your roll, Tim. Sark is speaking Japanese. My world, she is rocked.

So, you're telling me that I have X-overs for days now? I can have The Covenant send Sark back to the 17th Century. Or I can have some sort of TRADE crackfest where Draco's twin goes missing and they discover their dad was a wizard?

9a) More verbatim text to

serialkarma and

antheia -- Sark is in the 17th Century. Man, Michael is gonna be PISSED.

10) Claire. Whatevs. I like her new boyfriend. Holy smokes, her boyfriend is Kon-El!* Kon lives bitches! Cult of Conner lives! Either that or Nathan's got a hell of a lot more mileage on his sperm than we though. No incest, Tim? Man, you are one twisted SOB, and you talk shit about us? ilu though.

*That's the son of Superman and Lex Luthor for the uninitiated.

11) ilu Mr. Bennett! Lay the smack down on that Lumbergh* at Kinkos-lite!

11a) I missed you Mrs. Bennett! And your crazy relationship with Mr. Muggles! You know she's the witch that went and married the Muggle right? Right? That's totally her big reveal! Maybe the dog is an animagus spell that went wrong!

12) Last Verbatim Txt to

serialkarma and

antheia:

Re: Peter: Well, at least I got half the amnesia right!

13) It is my considered opinion that Sylar had nothing to do with the death of Hiro's daddy. Notice the lack of body on the other end of that fall. Notice the lack of slicing someone's brain open? This isn't about powers, this is about revenge. Who is really fucking mad right now? NATHAN. That's right. Nathan has gone rogue. He's gone Sparky77 6e, motherfuckers! NATHAN wants his man back.

Not that I'm shipping that or anything. No, definitely not.

[Poll #1060999]

My other speculation, apart from Superman son being alive and living in Palos Verdes and courting Wonder Girl, err, wasserface, is that... shit. I forgot what I was gonna say. The Haitian! The Haitian got me. I am tired of calling him The Haitian, that's so rude. His name is now Sam. Like Sam Axe.

Ah, yes, parting shot as it were. We now have Peter locked up in a shipping container in Cork, and I'd really like to know which fangirl tied up Tim until he agreed to that scenario, cos she gets a whole box of cookies for that -- but I reckon the Nathan & Peter season arc is about Nathan on his hunt for Peter and Peter acquiring some strange ass Irish accent.

The beard will be shaved around November sweeps, which will be when Nathan finds out Peter's alive and then mid-spring will be some crazy ass Peter-as-treasure hunt and reunification (like East and West Germany!) will happen for May sweep. A whole year of angst people.

And you wonder why I'm looking for my happy places like Burn Notice and Neville. Yes, Neville. Pick up your jaws now.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Gnarls Barkley 'Smiley Faces'