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hackthis_archiveOkay, so, you know how sometimes I have to just scribble down things that are crazy and cracked out and WTF? *coughMSTSMFcough* Yeah, this falls under that. See, I want to write Chuck/Bryce, and I had a story on plotted out in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sparky77's LJ that involved splinters and naked backsides, but then she was all, handcuffs! And, well, I get distracted by shiny objects really easily.
Chuck
Chuck/Bryce, PG-13
Spoilers for Chuck v. The Alma Mater
I've Got a Banana in My Pocket
Chuck has a banana in his pocket. It's a big banana.
To be fair though, Chuck also has a Burger King crown on his head, one of those kids' inflatable arm floaty-thingys that they liberated from someone's backyard wrapped around his bicep, and six yellow socks on his left foot that he and Bryce stole from the women's locker room.
All the socks made it kind of hard for Chuck to put his sneaker back on; women's feet are much smaller than his.
"Why didn't you put the socks on again?" he hisses to Bryce.
"Because your feet are bigger and could fit more," Bryce hisses back.
"That's so much bullshit."
"Yeah, but you did it anyway," Bryce crows victoriously.
"I hate you."
"Whatever."
Chuck is also handcuffed to Bryce in a closet. Did he mention that part? Maybe he should've mentioned that part first.
How they got in the closet is –- yeah, Chuck's not real clear on that part again either. "Okay, so, why are we trapped in the closet again?" he asks.
Bryce shines the flashlight on himself so Chuck can see the irritated look on his face and then angles the light down on their feet.
"I can't feel you stepping on my foot when I have six socks on," Chuck sing-songs.
Bryce steps on the other foot.
"Ow," Chuck says.
"Don't ask stupid questions, Chuck," Bryce chides, shining the flashlight on Chuck.
"It's not a stupid question," Chuck protests.
"You're right," Bryce corrects, "It's not on the Treasure Hunt, so it's an unnecessary question."
They're on a Treasure Hunt. For their fraternity. Not that they're members of the fraternity just yet, but that's why they're on this hunt. All maggots, err, pledges are supposed to be on the hunt tonight. The first team to get back gets a night off. The other five teams… Chuck doesn't want to think about what's going to happen to the other five teams.
He also doesn't want to be trapped in the closet with Bryce. "Okay, so, really, why are we trapped in the closet again?" Chuck rattles around a bit. Or he tries. It's a small closet.
"Because I told you to hold the door open and you didn't listen."
"I don’t remember it like that," Chuck says.
Did he mention that it's a really small closet? Because it is. Did he mention that he's handcuffed to Bryce, because yeah, he is. The brothers said it would inspire ingenuity. Or somebody would pee on themselves. They didn't really care which one.
Bryce is very warm all scrunched up next to Chuck, but at least the flashlight –-
"Did you just kill the flashlight?" Chuck asks when the light in the closet goes out.
"Yes, Chuck, I killed it with my mind."
"Okay, Bryce, no more sharing."
"I'm going to kill you with my mind in a minute," Bryce promises.
"I'm too young to die," Chuck protests. "The world will suffer from my lack of brilliance."
"You mean you don't want to die a virgin," Bryce interprets.
"I am not a virgin!" Chuck rattles his part of the handcuffs viciously.
Bryce laughs. It's very intrusive when Chuck is trying to sulk. Of course being handcuffed and locked in a closet with someone else isn't good for sulking either.
"Aw, did I hurt widdle Chuck's –"
Chuck freezes. Bryce is way too close to him right now. Chuck can smell his shampoo in Bryce's hair. "I knew you'd been using up my shampoo!" he says indignantly.
Bryce makes a snorting noise. "Chuck, is there something you want to tell me?"
"You're paying for my next bottle of shampoo. And the conditioner too." Chuck can't really go anywhere in the closet. Damn the closet. And damn Bryce. "Shut up," he adds belatedly.
"I mean I don't really tend to go for guys," Bryce offers, "but I don't think you have two bananas in your pocket either. Did you take one for a snack?"
"It's cramped in here." Chuck's very irritable right now. He's hot and sweaty and trapped in a closet with Bryce. He likes Bryce. He doesn't like Bryce like that. "You're too close!"
Bryce is breathing on Chuck's arm next to the floaty. "Too close for what? I thought proximity was sort of necessary for this stuff."
"What stuff? There is no stuff. There is just you. And me. Handcuffed together. In a closet."
"Uh huh. You know, you're protesting a lot."
"Shut up, Bryce."
"Just saying."
Chuck is sulking, but Bryce can't see it. It's better for him to sulk than for Bryce to question what exactly is happening to Chuck. It's just hormones. Pheromones. "It's really hot in here," Chuck complains. "Anytime you want to stop moving, just let me know."
Bryce's laugh is soft and breathy. Chuck hates Bryce. He didn't even want to pledge this fraternity. Much. "Stop moving? Next you'll tell me to stop breathing."
"That's good, too."
"Aw, Chuck, if I stop breathing then I'll go stiff and die, and I can't do this."
Chuck freezes. He thought Bryce was going to go with the verbal part of the stiff joke not the physical part. The very physical part. "Urk," Chuck says brilliantly. Bryce has laid hands on Chuck. No one has laid hands on Chuck except for his doctor, since, oh, ever.
"I hope that's the hand of the zombie that's trapped in the closet with us." Chuck's voice pitches a little high. He needs to work on that.
"And if it's not?" Bryce asks.
"You could kill me," he offers helpfully. "You could be the zombie. I bet if I brought a zombie back for the Treasure Hunt that would be way better than the Tri-Delts scepter."
Bryce exhales through his nose. "Is it not working for you?" Bryce changes the angle of his hand. Pressure is good. Pressure is great. Even though jeans. Chuck squeaks a bit.
"Are you sure it's not working," Bryce prompts, "because it really feels like it's working for you."
Chuck has to do something drastic. "Transformers! More than meets the eye."
Bryce's zombie hand stops doing what it was doing. Chuck might be a little distressed by this turn of events. "Are you singing the Transformers theme?" Bryce asks in disbelief.
"Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons!"
Bryce laughs. "And you wonder why you're still a virgin."
"I am not!" Chuck's protest is a little more feeble this time around. Probably because Bryce has gone back to the laying of hands, which hypothetically could lead to the laying of Chuck.
This is all very hypothetical.
Bryce chuckles. "Wow, you're a huge dork."
"Yes, and you don't want to --- oh."
"I don't want to what?" Bryce prompts, doing some trick with his wrist that makes Chuck's vision swim.
"Do dorks get to do that?"
"Yes. Early and often."
Chuck twitches again. "Really?"
"Sometimes they even do it with their clothes off," Bryce offers.
Chuck is quiet for a minute, and then he stills Bryce's hand. It takes a lot of restraint. "We should get out of the closet now."
Bryce's laugh is more like a snort. "You think?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Well then, you get us out of here."
Chuck inhales deeply and stands up straight, setting his shoulders back. "I'm going to break down the door."
"You are?" Bryce's incredulous tone says it all.
"Yes?" Chuck isn't asking. He's going to do it. Really. "Yes."
There, that's much more assertive.
"You would break down the door for me?" Bryce sounds impressed.
"I, uh, yeah?"
"Huh, okay," Bryce says, "then I can open the door now."
"You mean the door was open all the time?"
"Yeah."
When Bryce opens the door, a hazy moonlight filters in from the bedroom they were very much not breaking into. No, definitely not.
Fraternity Rule #5: No breaking laws.
Fraternity Rule #6: No getting caught breaking laws.
"The door was open, but you lured me in here to have your way with me?" Chuck can't believe this.
Bryce doesn't even look ashamed when he tosses a sly smirk over his shoulder. "Pretty much."
"I hate you," Chuck says as Bryce steps out of the closet, pulling Chuck along by his handcuff.
"If you hate me, then you don't want me to do that trick with my hand again, do you?"
Chuck ponders this for a moment. "I don't hate you that much."
"Yeah," Bryce is very smug. "That's what I thought."
-end-
sparky77's LJ that involved splinters and naked backsides, but then she was all, handcuffs! And, well, I get distracted by shiny objects really easily. Chuck
Chuck/Bryce, PG-13
Spoilers for Chuck v. The Alma Mater
Chuck has a banana in his pocket. It's a big banana.
To be fair though, Chuck also has a Burger King crown on his head, one of those kids' inflatable arm floaty-thingys that they liberated from someone's backyard wrapped around his bicep, and six yellow socks on his left foot that he and Bryce stole from the women's locker room.
All the socks made it kind of hard for Chuck to put his sneaker back on; women's feet are much smaller than his.
"Why didn't you put the socks on again?" he hisses to Bryce.
"Because your feet are bigger and could fit more," Bryce hisses back.
"That's so much bullshit."
"Yeah, but you did it anyway," Bryce crows victoriously.
"I hate you."
"Whatever."
Chuck is also handcuffed to Bryce in a closet. Did he mention that part? Maybe he should've mentioned that part first.
How they got in the closet is –- yeah, Chuck's not real clear on that part again either. "Okay, so, why are we trapped in the closet again?" he asks.
Bryce shines the flashlight on himself so Chuck can see the irritated look on his face and then angles the light down on their feet.
"I can't feel you stepping on my foot when I have six socks on," Chuck sing-songs.
Bryce steps on the other foot.
"Ow," Chuck says.
"Don't ask stupid questions, Chuck," Bryce chides, shining the flashlight on Chuck.
"It's not a stupid question," Chuck protests.
"You're right," Bryce corrects, "It's not on the Treasure Hunt, so it's an unnecessary question."
They're on a Treasure Hunt. For their fraternity. Not that they're members of the fraternity just yet, but that's why they're on this hunt. All maggots, err, pledges are supposed to be on the hunt tonight. The first team to get back gets a night off. The other five teams… Chuck doesn't want to think about what's going to happen to the other five teams.
He also doesn't want to be trapped in the closet with Bryce. "Okay, so, really, why are we trapped in the closet again?" Chuck rattles around a bit. Or he tries. It's a small closet.
"Because I told you to hold the door open and you didn't listen."
"I don’t remember it like that," Chuck says.
Did he mention that it's a really small closet? Because it is. Did he mention that he's handcuffed to Bryce, because yeah, he is. The brothers said it would inspire ingenuity. Or somebody would pee on themselves. They didn't really care which one.
Bryce is very warm all scrunched up next to Chuck, but at least the flashlight –-
"Did you just kill the flashlight?" Chuck asks when the light in the closet goes out.
"Yes, Chuck, I killed it with my mind."
"Okay, Bryce, no more sharing."
"I'm going to kill you with my mind in a minute," Bryce promises.
"I'm too young to die," Chuck protests. "The world will suffer from my lack of brilliance."
"You mean you don't want to die a virgin," Bryce interprets.
"I am not a virgin!" Chuck rattles his part of the handcuffs viciously.
Bryce laughs. It's very intrusive when Chuck is trying to sulk. Of course being handcuffed and locked in a closet with someone else isn't good for sulking either.
"Aw, did I hurt widdle Chuck's –"
Chuck freezes. Bryce is way too close to him right now. Chuck can smell his shampoo in Bryce's hair. "I knew you'd been using up my shampoo!" he says indignantly.
Bryce makes a snorting noise. "Chuck, is there something you want to tell me?"
"You're paying for my next bottle of shampoo. And the conditioner too." Chuck can't really go anywhere in the closet. Damn the closet. And damn Bryce. "Shut up," he adds belatedly.
"I mean I don't really tend to go for guys," Bryce offers, "but I don't think you have two bananas in your pocket either. Did you take one for a snack?"
"It's cramped in here." Chuck's very irritable right now. He's hot and sweaty and trapped in a closet with Bryce. He likes Bryce. He doesn't like Bryce like that. "You're too close!"
Bryce is breathing on Chuck's arm next to the floaty. "Too close for what? I thought proximity was sort of necessary for this stuff."
"What stuff? There is no stuff. There is just you. And me. Handcuffed together. In a closet."
"Uh huh. You know, you're protesting a lot."
"Shut up, Bryce."
"Just saying."
Chuck is sulking, but Bryce can't see it. It's better for him to sulk than for Bryce to question what exactly is happening to Chuck. It's just hormones. Pheromones. "It's really hot in here," Chuck complains. "Anytime you want to stop moving, just let me know."
Bryce's laugh is soft and breathy. Chuck hates Bryce. He didn't even want to pledge this fraternity. Much. "Stop moving? Next you'll tell me to stop breathing."
"That's good, too."
"Aw, Chuck, if I stop breathing then I'll go stiff and die, and I can't do this."
Chuck freezes. He thought Bryce was going to go with the verbal part of the stiff joke not the physical part. The very physical part. "Urk," Chuck says brilliantly. Bryce has laid hands on Chuck. No one has laid hands on Chuck except for his doctor, since, oh, ever.
"I hope that's the hand of the zombie that's trapped in the closet with us." Chuck's voice pitches a little high. He needs to work on that.
"And if it's not?" Bryce asks.
"You could kill me," he offers helpfully. "You could be the zombie. I bet if I brought a zombie back for the Treasure Hunt that would be way better than the Tri-Delts scepter."
Bryce exhales through his nose. "Is it not working for you?" Bryce changes the angle of his hand. Pressure is good. Pressure is great. Even though jeans. Chuck squeaks a bit.
"Are you sure it's not working," Bryce prompts, "because it really feels like it's working for you."
Chuck has to do something drastic. "Transformers! More than meets the eye."
Bryce's zombie hand stops doing what it was doing. Chuck might be a little distressed by this turn of events. "Are you singing the Transformers theme?" Bryce asks in disbelief.
"Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons!"
Bryce laughs. "And you wonder why you're still a virgin."
"I am not!" Chuck's protest is a little more feeble this time around. Probably because Bryce has gone back to the laying of hands, which hypothetically could lead to the laying of Chuck.
This is all very hypothetical.
Bryce chuckles. "Wow, you're a huge dork."
"Yes, and you don't want to --- oh."
"I don't want to what?" Bryce prompts, doing some trick with his wrist that makes Chuck's vision swim.
"Do dorks get to do that?"
"Yes. Early and often."
Chuck twitches again. "Really?"
"Sometimes they even do it with their clothes off," Bryce offers.
Chuck is quiet for a minute, and then he stills Bryce's hand. It takes a lot of restraint. "We should get out of the closet now."
Bryce's laugh is more like a snort. "You think?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Well then, you get us out of here."
Chuck inhales deeply and stands up straight, setting his shoulders back. "I'm going to break down the door."
"You are?" Bryce's incredulous tone says it all.
"Yes?" Chuck isn't asking. He's going to do it. Really. "Yes."
There, that's much more assertive.
"You would break down the door for me?" Bryce sounds impressed.
"I, uh, yeah?"
"Huh, okay," Bryce says, "then I can open the door now."
"You mean the door was open all the time?"
"Yeah."
When Bryce opens the door, a hazy moonlight filters in from the bedroom they were very much not breaking into. No, definitely not.
Fraternity Rule #5: No breaking laws.
Fraternity Rule #6: No getting caught breaking laws.
"The door was open, but you lured me in here to have your way with me?" Chuck can't believe this.
Bryce doesn't even look ashamed when he tosses a sly smirk over his shoulder. "Pretty much."
"I hate you," Chuck says as Bryce steps out of the closet, pulling Chuck along by his handcuff.
"If you hate me, then you don't want me to do that trick with my hand again, do you?"
Chuck ponders this for a moment. "I don't hate you that much."
"Yeah," Bryce is very smug. "That's what I thought."
-end-
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-11-10 12:37 am (UTC)this was great. i was actually laughing out loud. :D loved it!
no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-10 12:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:52 pm (UTC)Ohhhhhhhhh. I can't wait for that episode! Is that on tonight? Rock on!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-11-10 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-10 01:45 am (UTC)You, darling, are entirely for the win.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-10 04:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-10 05:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-10 07:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:55 pm (UTC)Oh, you saw the stars and sparkly hearts too? I thought that was just me!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-10 11:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:56 pm (UTC)awesome!
Date: 2007-11-10 12:16 pm (UTC)Re: awesome!
Date: 2007-11-12 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-10 03:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-11 01:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-11 01:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-11 06:13 am (UTC)In my head there is an AU where Bryce didn't die from that shot and is just deep in hiding and then he and Chuck reunite and have lots of sex. Or Chuck did join the CIA and then and Bryce got partnered together and had lots of crazy spy sex. Really, as long as there's Chuck, Bryce, and sex the universes in my head are happy. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:59 pm (UTC)Both of those ideas are pretty fucking awesome. I'm pondering one right now with kidnapping and Wiis and boys at the lake, but I really do like both of those too. Somebody write them! Or maybe I'll write them one day ;-)
no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 01:10 am (UTC)That was adorable and hilarious and so very, very awesome. You are fabulous.
I think Bryce might be my favorite character on television right now. I refuse to believe that he's actually dead.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 01:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 06:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 07:13 pm (UTC)Let's make this very real?
kthnxbai. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 10:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 08:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 11:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-13 01:57 am (UTC)And a unicorn and rainbows and true, true love. It was right there on my tv screen!
::adjusts slash goggles and tin hat::
no subject
Date: 2007-11-29 03:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-08 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-25 05:44 am (UTC)And now this is the third Chuck/Bryce fic I've read ever, and I am in love. Moar. *greedy hands* But to be serious, how much do I adore Chuck and Bryce pledging together. And Chuck accusing Bryce of having his WAY with him, gosh, I do not think I could love that boy more. Closet handjobs and handcuffs, oh my.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-28 12:04 am (UTC)