I want that ship.

[hackthis_archive]

They played Coldplay’s ‘In My Place’ in the SV episode. If you consider that a spoiler, oh well, whoops.

I normally don’t think much of what I write, but I like this.


ethrosdemon: Harry who was too famous to believe anyone ever would love him for him.
hackthis: oh, god can i write this please? angsting harry who will never ever trust anyone enough [to] think that they love him for his sorry self and not the legend. i shall call it 'the legend of a boy.' yes, okay. happy now.
ethrosdemon: Strangely enough, I don't see this fic anywhere yet. Huh. When you're not being worked to death, you should make it.



The Legend of a Boy
for ethrosdemon


+++

The problem with being a legend is that it leaves very little room for error.

Being a legend doesn’t come with a DIY or How-To guide.

Harry has had to make it all up as he goes along. He’s made mistakes.

Harry’s tried to fall in love.

Of course, what else is it to be expected? Most legends are dead, and Harry isn’t. Harry is very much alive and battle-scarred and only twenty-two. Harry’s killed and maimed and tortured people he went to school with.

According to popular lore, Harry is a hero.

Harry doesn’t see things that way. He doesn’t think he’s a hero.

Legends don’t doubt themselves. Legends aren’t fallible.

Legends get everything presented to them on silver platters, adorned with bits and baubles and silver ribbons. Legends conquer dragons with a single word and defeat foes with a blink of an eye.

Legends are omnipotent and worldly. They are suave and charismatic. Harry’s still a virgin, and he’s had other things on his mind.

He tends to forget to put the loo seat down, and he hates doing his washing up. Harry tends to snore when it’s hot out, and he’s been known to drink the last of the milk and leave the empty carton in the fridge. Of course, he only complicates matters for himself because he lives alone.

Harry likes living alone because it’s nice to have a wank in peace for change.

Legends aren’t supposed to get lonely.

Harry has Hedwig and two fish – Sirius and Remus – that live inside a plant-covered vase to deter Hedwig from any thoughts of fresh fish. Harry has friends and a pseudo-family. Harry knows devotion and loyalty and lies.

He cares about other people. He’s never been in love.

Legends aren’t supposed to have feelings.

Harry, unfortunately, happens to be a legend – a living one at that - and he’s finding that being a legend and trying to live a normal life don’t mix well, to say the very least.

Not that Harry ever thought he would be able to live a normal life living in a cupboard, but it didn’t improve that much when he finally got released either. Okay, yes, he got to attend Hogwarts and met Ron and Hermione, but they had each other and Harry had no one.

Harry has no one.

Harry has had was Colin Creevy following him around every hour of the day documenting his every move. Harry has had Rita Skeeter lurking outside his Divination lessons. Harry has talked to snakes and been betrayed by people he loves. Harry has signed autographs and taken pictures.

He doesn’t like to go out much these days.

Harry Potter is the boy who remembers nothing about his parents dying and never asked to defeat VoldemortTomRiddleDarkLordwhomever.

Legends are made, not chosen.

At night Harry screams into a silencing spell and counts the cracks in the ceiling. He talks to his fish and wipes his own brow. He can’t remember the last time he didn’t wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

He wonders what it would be like to have someone who wanted to be with him just because he was Harry, not because he was Harry Potter.

He’s tried dating Muggles, but he has yet to find someone who understands. The Muggles generally get lost when he tries to explain to them about the scar on the forehead. He’s never gotten far enough to tell them about the war.

Legends aren’t supposed to have trust issues.

The problem with being a legend is that Harry never asked to be one. He doesn’t want to be one. Legends are for myths and lore; they’re not for living, breathing young men who get sweaty palms and bad breath.

Legends are meant to be upheld and exalted. Legends are flawless. Harry isn’t flawless. People love legends; people don’t love Harry.

They love the legend.

Comments

[oneko-briar.livejournal.com]

they played Coldplay's 'inmyplace' while my mom wasdropping me off skool at orange county's number one indie station! and, uhm, SV. i noticed that. where'smyluv, maan? sign da wall. ;nods; am writing my essay! it is roughdraft/final!!! EEEEEEEPPPPPPPshit. uh. yeah.


i thought of you and NIA when coldlaystarted laying. by default, also, justin timberlake and my never-exes, but, shrugs, yknow..

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

okay. what's the wall? where is it?

aqui!, chiquita bonita!

[oneko-briar.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/talkpost.bml?journal=oneko_briar&itemid=105330

;)

woo, woo!

[impudent-rabbit.livejournal.com]

Dear Harry,

I love you. [SOB]

You know, Draco has always loved you too, even from that first moment in Madam Malkin's shop when he started chatting you up. He's loved you despite the legend.

Love,
Rabbit

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

you and i know this. draco is always going to love harry. and harry loves him too, he's just a hard-headed eejit who's enjoying his pity party. not that it's not a cool party or anything though.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Dear Harry,

Don't believe Malfoy and his bullshit. He's just after your money. He had to take a job after the War and is very bitter about it all. His book deal tanked, you know.

Love,
Kassie

PS, you know that Rabbit was a Death Eater, check out the Azkaban post mark on her envelope.

Re:

[impudent-rabbit.livejournal.com]

Dear Kassie,

Fuck off and die!
You always ruin everything for me.

Malfoy and I deserve something! We were loyal.

-Rabbit
When the Dementors come, I think of you and cry

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Dear Misguided Bitch,

Who is roaming the streets freely, inflicted untold torment on the mudbloods and who is in jail rotting away?

Malfoy has something special all right, a Dementor's finger up his bum.

Kassie

PS, I will be there to break you out when I lose these Auror morons.

[silviakundera.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm. I'm all for well-placed repetition. And well, we know me with Harry-as-a-legend. heh.

Harry Potter is the boy who remembers nothing about his parents dying and never asked to defeat VoldemortTomRiddleDarkLordwhomever.

oh, Harry! *pets* That great rhythm in that line. [nods]

more lovely words and rhythm --
Harry has friends and a pseudo-family. Harry knows devotion and loyalty and lies.

Very nice. I never get tired of jaded!cynical!legend Harry, if it's done right.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

i generally don't write harry, because you know, he has his own series and stuff. did you not know about that then? *g* seriously though, i'm glad you enjoyed it.

[silviakundera.livejournal.com]

Yes, well. hee. He does. But, you know, they're all poor two dimensional characters that deserve fleshing out. *pets* Pooooor misrepresented non-angsty characters. They need shaking up!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Pooooor misrepresented non-angsty characters

my sentiments exactly!

...that's why i had a dream that oliver was at a breakfast with my sister and my father and i, and he kept trying to chap up my sister. pissed me off to no end obviously because 'hello,' but they're the same age so i shouldn't have been suprised - except that he kept acting all snotty about the waffles and how fattening they were.

christ.

[silviakundera.livejournal.com]

except that he kept acting all snotty about the waffles and how fattening they were.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! am picturing Oliver doing this, and it's killing me I tell you. killing me!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

i swear, silvia, it was those frozen eggo waffles too and i just wanted to brain him with one.

[caeruleus.livejournal.com]

*sniffle* I will take Harry home with me and look after him. I don't care about his war experiences; I'm a pacifist. This is lovely. I can feel how lonely your Harry is. *cuddles Harry*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

he is lonely. poor harry.

Harry could be yours for the asking

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

/Legends are omnipotent and worldly. They are suave and charismatic. Harry’s still a virgin, and he’s had other things on his mind./

Yeah, that sounds about right. I love the parts before this. How he sees the status of legend as opposed to how he views himself so harshly. He has some serious mental health issues.


All the details are lovely, naturally. That's what you give, details. But this one /Harry likes living alone because it’s nice to have a wank in peace for change./ while on the surface purient, is actually only too true for a person who never got a moment's peace in his short life. God, Ron would burst in or Seamus, and then on holiday biting his lip at the Dursley's worried he'd get an owl (Hedwig's nipping of disapproval could come on the worst body parts, you know).

/Okay, yes, he got to attend Hogwarts and met Ron and Hermione, but they had each other and Harry had no one./

Yes, I thought of this in relation to another dynamic yesterday. But you make me want to cry for the Boy. Poor, golden cage.

/He doesn’t like to go out much these days. /
You are so fucking great with the zingers.

You should love this one. Yes. God. What a sorry life. Maybe it would have been better to just get killed on a blaze of glory, better to burn out than to fade away might be Harry's motto.

Re: Harry could be yours for the asking

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine Harry ever getting a moments peace, how the hell do people masturbate at Hogwarts? (potential plot bunny free to good home) I mean they probably have communal showers and then you have to share rooms as well, it's all fine to have curtains around the bed but still.

Re: Harry could be yours for the asking

[impudent-rabbit.livejournal.com]

how the hell do people masturbate at Hogwarts?

They use the buddy system.

Re: Harry could be yours for the asking

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

you mean they wank in pairs or one keeps look out whilst the other watches?

Re: Harry could be yours for the asking

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

I like both those options. The look-out one if pretty funny, can you imagine the convo?

"Er, Harry, would you mind?"

"Again, Ron? Merlin, do you own part of the hand lotion company?"

"Oy, will you just watch for Seamus and Neville and keep the commentary to min, you're ruining it with your talking!"

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

funny thing is, legends are actually (well, in terms of actual `legends' about legends... and anyway, legends [people] only come about because of legends [stories] anyway, right) pretty... conflicted and mythically tragic and imperfect. as far as legends go in literature. ha, so the whole "but legends are perfect" thing is kind of ironic.

i do loff this view on post-hogwarts!harry, as i think it's probabe, if he doesn't crack and open up and seek erm... help. or say, even better, fall in love with draco, now there's a distraction.... (*thinks of ivy's blue vase and smiles*)
``Legends are omnipotent and worldly."

i had to laugh at that. poor harry, so over-achieving-- omnipotent, indeed :D

oh, and i giggled at the wanking reference. sexually-frank!harry always seems kind of humorous to me~:) i mean, suuure, i bet his did/would/does, but i mean-- it's still weird, isn't it? disturbing, even, trying to imagine whether he "did it" or not, over say, cho. i can see the Bad Place looming~:)

``Harry has Hedwig and two fish – Sirus and Remus – that live inside a plant-covered vase to deter Hedwig from any thoughts of fresh fish. "
i so can see that. i definitely see him with fish. and naming the fish. and getting a whole lot friendlier to hedwig (*giggles*)
i wonder who he'd tried to fall in love with. prolly like, ginny or something. because you know draco would change his world~:)

this story had me going, "and then...." the whole time.
"and then harry woke up and realized he had butt to kick"
or, "and then harry realized all his masturbatory fantasies had to do with malfoy and something told him he should look into that", or "and then his fish died and he had to re-evaluate this whole omnipotence-is-the-goal thing" hehehe~:)

er. yah i'm being silly but i want to smack harry upside the head and stuff. this happens a lot with characters. they're so not-omniscient-enough sometimes ~:)

~reena

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

funny thing is, legends are actually (well, in terms of actual `legends' about legends... and anyway, legends [people] only come about because of legends [stories] anyway, right) pretty... conflicted and mythically tragic and imperfect. as far as legends go in literature. ha, so the whole "but legends are perfect" thing is kind of ironic.

the thing that's always struck me about legends is that, yes the people are fallible to a certain degree, but that always seems to be glossed over - look at camelot. incest, adultry, murder and the like, and yet it's supposed to be a golden period. golden period my eye!

harry has all this Boy Who Never Blinks crap happening and the wizarding world has got him on such a huge pedestal (look at Colin) and yet, harry's just another boy, no different from any other. it kills me when people try to make him infallible.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

hm, i was actually thinking of camelot myself, in terms of how obviously imperfect it is. i suppose there's the difference between a very surface reading of mythology & a more um... analytical approach. i don't really view any legends from the "common people" perspective, so to me, all the subtle things woven into the stories and all the warnings about power and abuse and the shortcomings of heroes are obvious.

the norse legend cycles and camelot & a number of greek myths (achilles, odysseus, hercules, oedipus, even perseus-- though that's a bit more subtle)-- all present deeply flawed, tragically doomed heroism. even harry potter is in that vein-- the whole "marked by evil" theme and all that.

i guess the difference is-- do you think what the legends are saying is the obvious "wow that's so cool, they have a Sword of Righteousness" stuff, or do you take the shortcomings and deaths and betrayals as part of the message, as part of what the hero cycle is trying to say.

what i'm saying is: do you go to the original text for your reference, or do you go to the most common (mis)interpretations and bastardizations of said text? you can go watch hercules: the legendary journeys or you could actually read greek myths (well, not in greek, but still). the original texts don't tend to tell you the heroes are perfect or that these are the golden days. perhaps there's a certain wistfulness, because all of that is dead and gone-- it's more, the passions and glory and danger of the times, rather than their goldenness. or rather, their goldenness can be said to come from the drama of it all-- when Kings were really Kings and when they Fell it was felt throughout the land. when ladies were fought over and died over, and when Love was something grand and treacherous and frought with peril and magic.

i think people forget the original warning tone of most legends & old tales, and act like people used to be a lot more naive, whereas really, the tales of -today- are much more naive.

the common folk, people in general, yes, they idolize without thought & their creations and their Heroes are shallow and characterless and two-dimensional. those legends have little to do with the real Legends (like camelot & valhalla & olympus & so on), and are indeed cardboard cut-outs even less tinged with corruption and evil than the harry potter source material (which actually presents a pretty iffy, shaded view on the boundaries between good and evil-- ie, snape & harry & dumbledore & peter & sirius). harry in particular, is -written- to be somewhat ambiguous (what the heck's up with his connection with voldemort, & why is he so judgmental & so on). but of course how things are -written- isn't necessarily how they're -seen-, and mostly, those two things are pretty different.

so yeah, if Legend means-- what the public sees-- then yeah it's gonna be stupid and one-dimensional and overly optimistic/pessimistic. if you define yourself by the Mob, you're gonna get a very skewed picture, because people's intelligence diminishes the more people you multiply it by.

and, i guess this public opinion is all harry would have to go by, not being privy to his own mythical hero's journey and its implications.
i just hate associating such an important term to me (legend) with such a cesspool of stupidity as "people in general", heh.

i think/hope harry would know better than to derive his self-image from such a bunch of dorks. i mean, i don't think madonna or michael jackson or even bush go around believing their own hype. you kinda learn to ignore it & say "oh, what a bunch of idiots", and not even use the world "legend" to refer to yourself. after all, it's a very meta term, y'know? characters are legends, people aren't-- most people with a shred of intelligence realize this.

anyway, enough insane myth-geek rambles from me~:)

~reena

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

i'm sitting here trying to sort out which part of this to tackle first so i'll start with the last part since it appears to be the freshest in my mind.

one would *hope* that 'famous' people would learn not to believe their own hype, however the subjects you offered - i believe - may have a bit more experience with knowing better to believe the hype than someone who hasn't spent quite as long in the public eye and may be fresh and new and wanting very much to be loved by everyone, i.e britney spears versus someone older and hopefully more learned, ex. madonna.

if we are to refer to harry, yes, at 22 one would hope that he was jaded enough not to believe his own press. HOWEVER, what harry believes is not necessarily what someone else, someone who hadn't spent as much time in the mess might believe. example, colin. it's one thing to project, it's something else to experience it. this is why sympathy and empathy are not the same thing.

i often find that people believe that fame is this fabulous thing with perks and freebies and glamorous telly spots and there should be no reason to complain whatsoever. however, what people tend to forget about the famous and the legendary is that they too sit down to use the loo at some point and that they have feelings and emotions and bad days and what have you. famous people, legendary people, are no different from the everyday bloke who drives my bus. the circumstances surrounding them have exalted them for whatever reason but even madonna gets spots.

now with regards to the story, what i hoped to convey was not that harry believed his own hype, but that everyone else did and *that* is what was causing him to close himself off. not that he believed himself legendary, but that everyone else did and thus were not able to see him as a regular boy, just like the one next door.

now as to whether or not i misused the word legend, i don't quite think i have. yes, there are the legends of achilles and alexander and hector and arthur and pretty much everyone else which were originally meant to be warning tales. tales to tell the story of how humans are fallible and mixed up and shouldn't see things as black and white. however, as time as progressed you find that these characters are used in popular convention as avatars of good behaviour and righteousness and leadership. that's not quite right, but people use them anyway.

notice how people repeatedly refer to the kennedy administration as camelot? i wonder whether the general public knows everything about camelot or whether they're simply following the press, who really are very twisted and are probably out to have a laugh.

as for good and bad, i don't really abide by those delineations when thinking about characters. in my opinion, nothing is really good or bad as they are just opposite ends of the same spectrum and it drives me nuts that people believe that if one is one thing they can't be the other. which probably brings me back to the point of being a legend. just because harry is 'the boy who lived' (lord, how i hate that title) doesn't mean he's not also the boy who lies and the boy who has a wank or whatever.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

mm, yeah, i totally got carried away with my lust for going over legends :> i totally know that you didn't really mean "legend" in that sense, but you said the magic word (camelot, heh), so off i went ^^;;

yah, like i initially said, i can see harry as dejected & alone & entirely too into his fish, several years after finishing hogwarts-- and i'm sure it's going to hit home more and more, the more "amazing" things he does & the more guilt he feels about them.
i think the reason i was going on about not believing your own hype had more to do with my own rebellion against malignment of my precious myths, than with what your story was actually implying :>

it's funny how it's so believable that harry would be drowning in angst and/or self-pity and/or depression, whereas really we have no clue, and for all we know the `real' canon harry is going to wind up...er... ok i don't really know where else jkr can go ^.^
i feel a bit silly for my ranting, but it is so hard to stop myself once i start sometimes :>
although, as for the wanking, those silencing spells, he should've looked into them :D

~reena

An urgent owl for Mr. H. Potter

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

Dear Mr. Potter,

I assure you that I am one person who has never been dazzled by your so-called celebrity or your pig-headed recklessness. I am well aware that you are heedless of your own safety, consider rules to be for others, and seldom look beyond the surface to discover the complexities within.

However, I am forced to admit that you have quite the brain when you chose to actually employ it, your skill with a wand does you credit and, much to my dismay, you do possess a certain rough attractiveness. If your taste runs at all to older, academic types, brisk, industrious mornings, quiet, studious afternoons, calm, companionable evenings, and teeth-rattling, passion-filled nights, I would not be adverse to broadening our acquaintance.

S. Snape

A return owl for Professor S. Snape

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Dear Severus:

It has come to my attention that you have been making advances towards my godson. And while you are the last person on earth - with the possible exception of Lucius Malfoy's progeny - I would want Harry to become involved with, your attentions to Harry have brought to bear certain questions about your sexuality.

In more precise terms, how is it that you are making advances to Harry when you never gave me the time of day at Hogwarts? Surely you're not still bitter over that incident with James.

S. Black

An Owl for Sirius Black

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Dear Sirius,

I thought we had previously discussed your untoward habit of perusing my unopened mail and reading the items you find of most interest. I would not care to speculate as to what you suspected Professor Snape’s letter to pertain to, but suffice it to say that I think that you have overstepped our prearranged boundaries.

If you would like to solicit dates, perhaps you would find The Jaunty Cauldron a more appropriate locale than my living room. I would encourage you to perhaps talk to your lifemate about such plans, however. I have heard tell of Remus having some possessiveness issues in the past.

With Much Love,
Harry

[cyclogenesis.livejournal.com]

Aw. ::snuggles Harry:: It's okay, baby, Draco loves you, or will at least give you sex.

Meanwhile, this was great. Saying what needs to be said really, in an appropriately thoughtful manner. All right on, too. I really feel Harry's pain. Yes.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Aw. ::snuggles Harry:: It's okay, baby, Draco loves you, or will at least give you sex.

Love is nothing but sex misspelled.
~Harlan Ellison.

[copperbeech.livejournal.com]

this is a wonderful character sketch of harry. i really see him turning out this way in canon--not necessarily doomed to be alone, but definitely with a lot to have to work through in the process... this is really so well done!
thanks!