[personal profile] hackthis_archive
Attention pollsters: I posted your Bruce/Harvey pron on Friday. Yeah, I told you I'd do it: Dark Knight, NC-17, Now the Old King is Dead, Long Live the King.

Last week, I also posted my first (of what's looking to be a few) Generation Kill story I Donated Myself to the Mexican Army. Seriously. There aren't words to describe my love of this series, but I will tell you that I took mental notes last night! Notes, motherfuckers! I haven't done that since Heroes! And the little character vignettes! Have you lot watched them? It's like learning a whole other language! Ray! Brad! Nate! (thanks [livejournal.com profile] naanima) FYI, last night's episode, 'A Burning Dog,' was my favorite so far, seriously. I was that far gone.

I seem to be Olympics crazy. Dear Michael Phelps with your size 17 feet. Plz to continue with the hotass talent. Thx.

Psych
Shawn/Gus
Rated PG


The Magic Pineapple of Truth







"This is the Magic Pineapple of Truth," Shawn announces from somewhere to Gus' right. Gus just makes the noncommittal noise of 'If I ignore him, maybe he will go find someone else to annoy.' Not that this has ever worked before, but there's always a first time, especially with Shawn.

It's Friday evening at the Psych office, and Gus is in the middle of this cut-throat game of Texas Hold'em at poker4eva.com. He's totally going to make enough to buy Bermuda. And move there.

Or, better yet, move Shawn there.

He's not interested in a magic –"GAH!" Gus hollers when Shawn slams a massive stuffed pineapple down on his laptop.

Well, he doesn't slam it, because then Gus would be required to kill him, but he puts it down and it totally disorients Gus, who then maybe clicks the mouse for 'fold' when he meant to 'check'.

"Shawn, what the hell are you doing? You just lost me Bermuda!" Gus can only watch in horror as user ramoneseatbabies48 takes his millions in cyber winnings.

Shawn blinks. "You had Bermuda? When did you have Bermuda? Are you a royal in exile? I didn't know Bermuda had royals. Are you the Prince of Bermuda and you didn't tell me? Talk about being a hold out. I thought you were supposed to represent your peeps. Oh, wait, that's being a sellout."

"Shawn!" Gus barks. "I was playing a very important game, and you ruined it."

Shawn waves the stuffed toy in Gus' face. "I've told you that your addiction to Scrabblicious is bad for your eyesight, Gus. It's going to make you go blind. No, sorry, that's masturbation."

"Shawn!" Gus doesn’t even try to hide his glowering.

"Dude, I'm sorry." Shawn sticks out his lower lip just that little bit. "Here, hold the Magic Pineapple of Truth and you will feel my sorriness."

Gus looks from Shawn to the stuffed plushy toy he's offering. It's a big stuffed pineapple, with green felt arms and legs. It's got big anime eyes. "It's freaky looking," Gus protests. "Look at those eyes. They follow me when I move."

Shawn raises an eyebrow. "Dude, you're sitting down. You're not moving."

"Well, I could be," Gus protests. "And what are you doing here with this Dole reject? Aren't you supposed to be having dinner with your dad tonight?"

Shawn smiles broadly. "Exactly! That's why I'm here -- to pick you up."

"Uh, Shawn, where in the plans for dinner with your dad was my name brought up?"

"You're implied," Shawn says as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. "You're like the 18% tip for parties of 6 or more; it's just assumed that you're included."

"I'm like a tip you have to pay, Shawn? Wow, thanks," Gus says sullenly.

"Oh, c'mon," Shawn protests. "You're practically my common law wife. You and me. We're like peanut butter and jelly. Chocolate and peanut butter. Peanuts and beer."

"What's your obsession with peanut flavoring?" Gus interrupts.

"Salt-n-Pepa! Paul and John! Hall & Oates!" Shawn carries on, gesturing wildly with the stuffed pineapple toy. "We're George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley."

"Nobody remembers Andrew Ridgeley!"

"Behind the Music did!"

Gus crosses his arms. "I'm not coming to dinner to deflect attention again."

"You totally don't deflect, dude," Shawn protests. "Your head is way too shiny for that."

"Two words, Shawn, mashed potatoes."

"That was one time!"

"That you used me as a food fight deflector shield."

"Deflector shield. Really? Have you been watching Dungeons and Dragons again?"

"It was a highly underrated 80s cartoon," Gus says irritably. "Now go away before you're late."

"My dad wants you to come," Shawn pleads.

"No, you want me to come, so your dad won't yell at you for sneaking in his house and stealing the last of his beer," Gus corrects.

"That was never proven," Shawn says. "Besides, I am holding the Magic Pineapple of Truth; I can tell no lies. I want you to come, so, c'mon, dude, please?"

"You can tell no lies?" Gus asks. "What happened to that Butterfinger I had in my drawer last week. The super-sized one that was hidden in my pencil box."

Shawn shoves the pineapple at Gus, who fumbles it before grabbing it by a green felt hand.

"I don't know," Shawn lies. "But if you won't come, then you have to baby-sit the pineapple."

Gus wrinkles his nose. "No way, Shawn."

"Please, dude, c'mon. She'll get lonely if I leave her here on her own."

"She?"

"Look at those eyelashes, of course she's a she!"

Gus has had enough. "No, Shawn."

"Yes."

"No, Shawn."

"For me? Please?"

"No, Shawn!"






Gus is dreaming about the perfect life. He's rich and famous and loved by the entire world. He has women swooning at his feet and he drives around Santa Barbara in his Enzo Ferrari with his favorite stuffed pineapple strapped in to the racing seat beside him.

Wait.

What?

"You are the most adorable couple." Shawn's voice permeates Gus' dream, and when he cracks open one eye, Shawn is bending over him with a huge smile on his face. "I might be jealous," Shawn coos.

Shawn's practically close enough to kiss, or smell. Henry made Italian food.

Gus blinks rapidly, looking up at Shawn and then down at the stuffed toy he's clutching to his chest.

"This is not what it looks like," Gus says, scrambling to sit up on the sofa with Shawn standing over him.

"It looks like you're cheating on me with my magic pineapple, is what it looks like," Shawn says in a sing-song voice.

Gus scoffs loudly. "I'm not cheating – and here," he says, shoving the pineapple at Shawn's stomach. "Take it."

Shawn grabs the stuffed toy and holds it up to his ear. "What's that you say, Magic Pineapple? Gus made you watch porn and eat junk food. Gus, I'm shocked that you were such a bad influence."

Gus's jaw drops open. "I don't watch pornography, Shawn!" he protests.

Shawn blinks. "But the junk food part was right?"

"Whatever," Gus says, standing up. "I babysat your stuffed toy while you were out eating Italian food; I'm not sensing any justice here at all. I'm going home, where I can eat junk food in peace and watch Meerkat Manor!"

"I love Meerkat Manor," Shawn says gleefully. "Can we stop at the store and get some ice cream too? I think we need ice cream for Discovery Channel. Oooh, you know what we should watch? Dirty Jobs. I love Mike Rowe, he's hot. I'd do him. Not that I do guys, well, maybe, it depends."

Gus has had enough. "You're not invited, Shawn," he says. "This is a Meerkat party of one."

"But my dad gave me leftovers for you," Shawn protests. "He wanted to know why you weren't at dinner. I told him you were otherwise engaged with your duties as the Exiled Royal Prince of Bermuda."

"Shawn," Gus warns.

"Wait, what's that, Magic Pineapple?" Shawn says, holding up the toy to his ear. "You said that Gus has a huge crush on me and that it must be love because nobody else would baby-sit a stuffed toy?

Gus blinks. "That is SO not what—"

"Oh, sorry, no," Shawn corrects, "you said that I would sleep with Mike Rowe or Gus. Yes, you're right there. Sorry, there must've been some interference on the truthiness line."

Gus blinks again. "Interference on the truthiness line?" he says after several moments of Shawn watching him curiously.

Shawn shrugs. "It's a magic pineapple of truth, not communication skills, dude."

Gus opens and closes his mouth and then opens it again, but nothing else comes out.

"You're stirring up a small wind tunnel with all your blinking," Shawn points out. "Is this where you freak out on me and declare you fight for the armies of Not Having Sex with Shawn?"

Gus looks left, right, and then left again. No, no video cameras. No Lassiter. Or Juliet. Or Chief. Or Mr. Spencer. Or his mom. Huh.

Stepping forward, Gus punches Shawn in the arm.

"Ow!" Shawn hollers as though he were being stabbed. "You can't punch the gay out of me!"

Gus' mouth twitches at the corners. "I was just checking to make sure I wasn't still asleep."

"So you hit me? Dude, you're supposed to pinch yourself!"

"Yeah, but that was way more fun."

Shawn pouts for a moment and then it disappears in what can only be described as the 'Dear God, Shawn's Having a Thought' Look.

"So, does this mean you're okay with me wanting to eat ice cream with you and watch Mike Rowe get dirty?" Shawn asks, pushing Gus slightly with the stuffed pineapple still clutched in his hand.

Gus wobbles back and forth easily, standing very still when Shawn takes another step closer. "It's okay," he says magnanimously, "I understand, no one can resist the Burton Guster charm. You were bound to succumb eventually."

"I was bound to succumb eventually?" Shawn scoffs. "Please, you have a nice ass; I didn't succumb to anything."

"So, this is about my ass, huh?" Gus says, with Shawn watching him intently.

"It's a nice ass, even the magic pineapple agrees."

"You could've just told me you liked me, Shawn. The pineapple wasn't necessary."

"Yes," Shawn admits, "but it was worth it to see you hugging it like it was your favorite toy. You know, I thought I was your favorite toy. Oh my god, you were transferring your feelings for me onto the pineapple, weren't you?"

Gus rolls his eyes. "Shawn, shut up."

Shawn opens his mouth and then shuts it. And then he opens it again. "You could just kiss me; that would probably make me shut up a lot faster."

Gus thinks this over. "I suppose I could do that."

Shawn grins and shuts his eyes expectantly, which is exactly when Gus dodges around him, grabs the leftovers and breaks for the door.

"I could kiss you," Gus calls from the doorway. "But you'll have to catch me first."

Shawn whirls around wildly. "I have to catch you first?" he says incredulously. "Are you serious, dude? What are we, ten?"

Gus smiles broadly. "Tag, you're it."

"I'm going to beat you with this pineapple when I catch you," Shawn threatens, waving the stuffed toy in Gus' direction.

Gus ponders this. "That's kinky, Shawn," he says before dashing out the door.

"Just wait until I catch you," Shawn calls after him.




-end-

Behold the Magical Pineapple of Truth!
Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

Date: 2008-08-11 05:53 pm (UTC)
ext_2233: Writing MamaDeb (Default)
From: [identity profile] mamadeb.livejournal.com
Shawn/Gus! YAY!!!

They are SO adorable (and have you noticed that everyone thinks they're a couple and they NEVER out and out deny it? Not a shred of gay panic.)

Date: 2008-08-11 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
have you noticed that everyone thinks they're a couple and they NEVER out and out deny it? Not a shred of gay panic.)

I know! It occured to me that Shawn hasn't been out a date with anybody in *ages* and he hardly ever flirts with Jules anymore. I think the writers know where their bread and butter comes from and they've been laying on the life partners thing pretty thick this season. I love it!

Date: 2008-08-11 05:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparky77.livejournal.com
"You're implied," Shawn says as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. "You're like the 18% tip for parties of 6 or more; it's just assumed that you're included."

That's pretty much the sweetest most Shawn thing ever.

I totally agree that Dungeons and Dragons is a highly underrated 80s cartoon.

And the whole story was insanely adorable and made me smile. You are awesome!

Date: 2008-08-11 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I totally agree that Dungeons and Dragons is a highly underrated 80s cartoon.

I loved that cartoon to death and they never aired it enough, talk about sadness. Also, writing this was so happy making.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] sparky77.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-12 02:56 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-12 03:16 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] sparky77.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-12 06:04 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-12 06:16 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-11 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] everysecondtues.livejournal.com
"I could kiss you," Gus calls from the doorway. "But you'll have to catch me first."
Hee, oh Gus.

Also: "This is a Meerkat party of one." and "I told him you were otherwise engaged with your duties as the Exiled Royal Prince of Bermuda."

I love the dialogue, inclusion of Gus playing poker, and Gus being freaked out by the pineapple. This is a really fun story. And of course it's assumed that if Shawn's going to be at dinner with his dad, Gus will, too. *g*

Date: 2008-08-11 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm so pleased you liked it, I really enjoyed writing it!

Date: 2008-08-11 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alessandriana.livejournal.com
...daaaaww. So cute. <3

Also, you namechecked the D&D cartoon! Awesome.

Date: 2008-08-11 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
D&D was made of win! I didn't even realize it was a video game until I got much older.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] alessandriana.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-12 12:04 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-11 06:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girl-wonder.livejournal.com
Spot on voice and I love their OTP like sugar.

Date: 2008-08-11 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
They really are the happy-making OTP.

Date: 2008-08-11 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberlynne.livejournal.com
Heeeeeeeeeeee. I am grinning SO HARD right now. You bring such AWESOME Shawn and Gus voices. They are so adorable and that is so how they would handle complex sexual feelings for each other like the perpetual 12 year olds that they are. BRILLIANT!

Date: 2008-08-11 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Everything about them just makes me happy, seriously. They are so made of win, and I'm really loving S3, moreso than S2.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2008-08-11 11:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I agree, there isn't enough Psych fic, and definitely not enough Shawn & Gus.

Date: 2008-08-11 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] longsunday.livejournal.com
Love the dialogue, and the goofiness, and the joy that is a stuffed pineapple. Andandand:

"Ow!" Shawn hollers as though he were being stabbed. "You can't punch the gay out of me!"

*CACKLE*

Date: 2008-08-11 11:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked it!

Date: 2008-08-11 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bessemerprocess.livejournal.com
I love this more then words can properly describe. Especially: "Yes," Shawn admits, "but it was worth it to see you hugging it like it was your favorite toy. You know, I thought I was your favorite toy. Oh my god, you were transferring your feelings for me onto the pineapple, weren't you?"</i<

Date: 2008-08-11 11:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it, thanks!

Date: 2008-08-11 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alethialia.livejournal.com
There aren't words to describe my love of this series, but I will tell you that I took mental notes last night! Notes, motherfuckers! I haven't done that since Heroes!

Oh, this makes my day. And thanks to those links to the vignettes! Colbert! I've actually never seen what he really looks like.

FYI, last night's episode, 'A Burning Dog,' was my favorite so far, seriously. I was that far gone.

And that's so interesting 'cause a lot of people didn't like. But it had some awesome moments and omg, utterly gorgeous.

Date: 2008-08-11 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
If you look on the HBO.com there are sort of vignettes, not just about the boys, but about shooting the show (they did it in Africa over five months) and about what it takes to be a Marine. I could watch that shit allllllllllll day long. I could be slightly obsessed.

FYI, last night's episode, 'A Burning Dog,' was my favorite so far, seriously. I was that far gone.

And that's so interesting 'cause a lot of people didn't like. But it had some awesome moments and omg, utterly gorgeous.


I liked it, because it was real. It wasn't funny or light, it showed all those downsides that they've been leading up to. They showed that people really fucking make mistakes (besides Trombly), and also, it had Nate sticking up for himself (what not to love?) and true examples of the fucktardiness of Captain American and Encino Man (football metaphors?! They require football metaphors). There was real combat instead of just discussion there of, and yes, there were those real moments that were just a little TOO real (November Julienne, huh?) but that's what I love about this show. Also? Nate cursed, I knew he only did that under duress! And Ray was awesome! And Nate was all running around under fire to get the victors moving! And Brad was Brad and he was pissed off that people were talking smack about Nate, and he kept pushing Nate and asking him questions. I have fucking NOTES. For example, Nate always calls Brad 'Brad' but Brad always calls him 'Sir' around other people, or when he thinks Nate's being a bit pissy. <-- This is the intro to my next GK story. And there was Rudy maintaining the prettiness of his Team Leader and Brad just being stupendously smart, truly I can't see what there was not to like.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] alethialia.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-11 08:15 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-11 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinra-lackey.livejournal.com
I am overwhelmed by the Shawn/Gus love. Thank you so much for sharing!

Date: 2008-08-11 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
You are very welcome!

Date: 2008-08-11 07:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] undersea.livejournal.com
Oh, you write them so well. I could see and hear everything. You make them so real!

I loved this. Especially the Meerkat Manor bit. That was so Gus.

Date: 2008-08-11 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked it, thanks!

Date: 2008-08-11 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] csi-sanders1129.livejournal.com
lol that was awesome. and i think i saw one of those things at otakon xD

Date: 2008-08-11 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it!

Date: 2008-08-12 12:00 am (UTC)
suzy_queue: Animated rain over a rainbow (Default)
From: [personal profile] suzy_queue
Hee! That was adorable. And I love the photo of the Magical Pineapple of Truth!

Date: 2008-08-12 04:10 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-08-12 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearless-jones.livejournal.com
OMG i have the same pineapple! I got it when i visited the Dole plantation in Hawaii. LOL

Awesome fic!

Date: 2008-08-12 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
LOL! I just found the photo by accident when I went looking for one on-line!

Date: 2008-08-12 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] romancandles.livejournal.com
I have been waiting for you to write Shawn/Gus for AGES. THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU.

Date: 2008-08-12 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Aw, you are very welcome, sweetheart.

Date: 2008-08-12 02:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] charone.livejournal.com
Oh my, you just made my day. Gus and Shawn they so can't do without each other. This story is so much fun. I really liked it plenty.

As for GK, I haven't seen it but I will trust it is good because Simon and Ed created it and they did The Wire which I am so obsessed with. BTw do you know where I can find some Wire Slash. This is a show that begs to be slashed especially Kima.

Anyway, you are such the deal.

Date: 2008-08-12 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
As for GK, I haven't seen it but I will trust it is good because Simon and Ed created it and they did The Wire which I am so obsessed with. BTw do you know where I can find some Wire Slash. This is a show that begs to be slashed especially Kima.

Alas, the only Wire fiction I know of at all is on [livejournal.com profile] yuletide, but that entire series is made of win. Did you know that David and Ed have a new pilot in at HBO called 'Treme' it's about post Katrina New Orleans. I am WAY excited. Generation Kill right now has eaten my brain.

Date: 2008-08-12 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dimestore-hippy.livejournal.com
Haha! You have their voices down perfectly. And the funny lines and the pineapple and the punching...*breaks off lauging*

I want a Magic Pineapple of Truth!

Date: 2008-08-12 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it, thanks!

Date: 2008-08-12 05:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] noxin.livejournal.com
That was just adorable. <3

I thought it started off kind if 'eh', but after the first two or three paragraphs, I was hooked- the voices were spot on. :]

Cute fic... moar plz? :D

Date: 2008-08-12 04:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Thanks for commenting!
(deleted comment)

Date: 2008-08-12 04:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it, thank you!

Date: 2008-08-12 08:57 am (UTC)
loz: (Psych (Shawn & Gus))
From: [personal profile] loz


This is great. I love the 'truthiness' line and Shawn being his usual annoying self and Gus' perspective.

Date: 2008-08-12 04:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading!

Date: 2008-08-13 05:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redshoerainbow.livejournal.com
"you can't punch the gay out of me!" great line - I'm not a Shus fan but I like this one. Nice banter.

Date: 2008-08-13 11:41 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-08-14 03:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] antheia.livejournal.com
GLEE! THIS IS MADE OF GLEE!


Except that Pineapple, which is really just scary.

Date: 2008-08-20 12:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it sweetie. Did you see last week's Psych yet? Could be my favorite ever. They are just on FIYAH! Also, I am seriously ODing on the swimming, people have sent me links about Michael's shaving tips! With this sort of enablement, who could refuse.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] antheia.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-20 12:14 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-15 05:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deadlybride.livejournal.com
Oh God!

That's unfair! Another fic with completely wonderful Shawn/Gus in just one week - I feel... I don't know. Like fandom is giving me everything I could want, and I'm giving nothing in return. Sigh - but a happy sigh.

Adored Shawn's completely Shawn-like way of 'confessing' his love for his bestie. Was pleasantly surprised by Gus' reaction. The pineapple thing was super-cute (and actually the real toy is pretty creepy). Wow, what else? The silly '80s banter, the up-to-date TV references, the way Shawn watches Gus, and we know he's not entirely sure... Happy smile/shiver. Thanks for the delightful day-ender.

(Oh, and I'm with you on the Phelps goodness - his back dimples are love.)

Date: 2008-08-20 12:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
LOL! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed the story so much, thank you for reading and commenting!

Date: 2008-08-16 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vanitashaze.livejournal.com
Oh my. I think I just split my sides laughing. But I won't send you the medical bill, though - less out of generosity and more out of the brilliance of this story. ("You can't beat the gay out of me!") I wouldn't want to bankrupt one of my favorite writers, would I?

Date: 2008-08-20 12:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it!
Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

Profile

hackthis_archive

December 2010

S M T W T F S
    1234
567 8 91011
12131415 161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Aug. 16th, 2025 02:08 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios