hackthis_archive | Merlin – I Could've Been One of These Things First (Merlin/Arthur, PG)

According to the rules of

picfor1000 I can ~~pilfer~~ borrow somebody else's picture after I finish the story for my assigned picture. Original story is sorted. Have some crack courtesy of

butterflykiki's image and um, Disney's Sword in the Stone.

Oh, WHAT? C'mon. You know how I am with Disney and alcohol.

Merlin
Merlin/Arthur
1000 words on the money.
Rated Crack. Oh, delicious delicious crack.

I Could've Been One of These Things First

It happened in the middle of the night.

Well, at least Merlin assumed it happened in the middle of the night, since the last time he'd seen Arthur, he hadn't looked like this.

In fact, the last time Merlin saw Arthur, they'd had a bit of a disagreement –- argument -– thing -- because Merlin hadn't rescued Arthur from the cackling clutches of Lady Esmerelda. Or Esmerdine. Or Emmerdine. Something with an 'E'.

But it was she of the flaming ginger hair and copious cleavage, who had apparently undone Arthur. Or made allusions to doing so, which Merlin thought Arthur would be all for. Apparently not. Which wasn't like Arthur in the slightest, since he seemed happy to be undone by every Sophia around.

Not that Merlin had noticed such a thing.

And yet, somehow, Merlin's lack of precognition in knowing that Arthur was being propositioned by a woman Gaius' age became a litany about how Merlin was the worst servant ever, and his ears stuck out too much. That was fine, however, because Arthur's arse stuck out too much, so they were even.

And Merlin had quite possibly said that.

Actually, he definitely remembered saying that, because Arthur's face had gone red and he'd started sputtering. Then he'd shut his door in Merlin's face as though Merlin were an impertinent courtier.

Merlin had glared at the door, and possibly -– probably -- said some less than charitable things about Arthur before going to his room and not thinking about Arthur at all, thank you very much.

Except for that dream he had in the middle of the night where he was a very old man, with a white beard and a cheeky owl named Archimedes. Arthur was a ten year-old, knobby-kneed brat, who Merlin had turned into a sparrow. And then Sparrow!Arthur had almost been eaten by a hawk, and Merlin --

"MERLIN!"

Merlin licked his lips. He'd got distracted, what with the thoughts of Arthur's arse, and Arthur as a bird, and now, Arthur standing before him shirtless, and that business going on behind Arthur that Merlin was certainly not responsible for.

"So," he said, gesturing to Arthur vaguely. "This is new."

Arthur narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, his wings flapping in what could be considered a menacing way.

If Arthur with wings could be considered menacing -- mostly it was just disconcerting.

"New." Arthur repeated flatly. "New?"

The second time he said 'new', Arthur's voice scaled upwards towards a pitch Merlin had only heard from the village singer in Ealdor, who used to shatter the windows in her house with her voice when her husband had been in the ale again.

Merlin bit his lip. "So, um, those are yours then?"

The wings flapped again in what was most definitely a menacing way. Possibly it was just the expression on Arthur's face that had Merlin backing up slowly.

"Wings, Merlin," Arthur said slowly. "I have bloody wings."

At least Merlin was already pressed against the wall when Arthur –- well -- flew across the room and pinned him there.

"Merlin, is there something you want to tell me?" Arthur asked with all the sincerity of the executioner requesting any final words.

Merlin wanted to swallow, but Arthur's hand was pressed against his chest, quite possibly crushing Merlin's lungs. "I, it -–" Arthur wings were beating slowly behind him, the draft stirring Arthur's hair.

It was very hard for Merlin to concentrate like this.

Shirtless Arthur with wings was very distracting. Merlin licked his lips for the second time and Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Is this –- Merlin, if you tell me this is some new sexual appetite that you've developed, I will punish you in ways that will make you think of the stocks with great fondness."

Merlin blinked. "Okay."

Arthur's mouth twitched at the corners.

Merlin's fingers itched to touch. If he could just --

"No," Arthur said, curling his fingers into Merlin's neckerchief.

Merlin's hand froze. "'No' what?"

"No, Merlin," Arthur repeated, even as his wings fluttered behind him.

"I haven't even asked yet."

"If I let you do this, you will turn me back immediately afterwards, are we clear?"

"I didn't even do anything."

Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't do it," Merlin insisted.

"You mean there's another sorcerer in the castle that I should know about? One that would make an absolutely brilliant manservant and wouldn't give me wings in the middle of the night just because I sent him to his own room?"

"You were the one who started it," Merlin said sullenly.

"Lady Esmerelda wanted to have her way with me in the middle of the feast, excuse me if I thought I might need a bit of help."

"You never needed help before," Merlin mocked. "I can do it all. No magic is needed here. Save me? The Crown Prince? Don't be absur—-

"Ow!" Merlin said when Arthur smacked him on the side of the head.

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur said, his wings flapping belligerently.

When one came within reach, Merlin stroked it softly.

Arthur went still, uncurling his fingers from Merlin's neckerchief and letting his hand rest on Merlin's chest. Arthur's hand was very warm.

Merlin shifted against the stones behind him, trying to remind himself that this was a serious matter and not one that would end with sex. He'd apparently given Arthur wings in the middle of the night; it wasn't really the sort of thing one got rewarded for.

It was most certainly not the sort of thing that got one cocooned by said wings and said prince.

"You will get rid of them," Arthur said quietly, his voice quavering slightly as Merlin ran his fingers along the length of one wing. "Immediately."

Merlin's fingers kept stroking. "Immediately?"

Arthur licked his lips. "Immediately afterwards," he amended. "I can't go around with wings on my back."

"But they're such pretty wings," Merlin teased.

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur said.

And yet, he kissed Merlin anyway.