smallville drabble. take one
Nov. 12th, 2002 11:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveEvery time I think I’ve washed my hands of my Smallville needs, something happens to bring me and my lack of faith back. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
slodwick has some amazing manips happening which are screaming ‘write chloe/lana,’ and lexluvsclark is just chock’a’block with the plot-driven stories. Hell, even evil_man decided to throw down.
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
-Coldplay ‘The Scientist’
He could dissect Clark in his sleep. Lex knows he could. Whether or not this is a homage to Lex’s science skills, or his desire to discover all there is to Clark, or just his twisted psyche coming out to play, Lex can’t really say.
Or maybe he just doesn’t want to.
It may be four in the morning, but it’s not as though Lex has never had these thoughts before, and Clark sleeps like the undead and the unhuman, which really he is, and Lex’s sense of humor tends to like the early hours. Every part of Lex is alive, attuned, and alert now. He always did his best work between one a.m. and five a.m.
There’s so much potential and possibility lying in the bed next to Lex. Science journals and Nobel Prizes and questions to a thousand years of evolution… but it’s not as though Lex wouldn’t have to actually plan before hand.
Scalpels and pans and sterilization and meteors. Lots of meteors.
And when Lex rolls over for the fiftieth time, he’s having more than some planning thoughts because he’s certainly had time enough think it over. For the first three weeks after the truth ‘came out’ it was all he thought about. A year later some things haven’t changed. It always comes back to the start: the lies and the deceit, and Clark might have his suspicions, but Lex doubts that he knows how deep Lex’s issues actually go.
Issues and qualms and Lex is still angry a year later. Only it’s less anger and more curiosity and bitterness. All the sex and soft words in the world aren’t going to drive that away. The question of ’why’ has yet to have a satisfactory answer, and Lex keeps coming back to lies and pain and trust.
Lex expects to be lied to. He expects to be deceived, and he knew that Clark was lying to him. He knew it. Lex alluded to false foundations and gave Clark every chance, and even though Clark finally came clean, Lex is still hurt. He’s not sure what he expected. He can’t say he expected better, not when he already knew different, but he believed in Clark. And together they colluded – they both participated in Lex’s deception.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lex thinks he always wanted to be wrong, only he wasn’t. He’s not, and it’s easier to admit that in the dark night of his bedroom. It’s easier when he doesn’t have to look directly at Clark and all his hidden strength. ‘Princes should be careful never to join with one stronger than himself’ and Clark is stronger than Lex. Being in – caring for Clark immediately puts Lex at Clark’s mercy, and Lex doesn’t like that. It’s not how the story should go, and for Lex it’s an ugly thought. As ugly as dissecting Clark on a cold table under a fluorescent light. It’s as ugly as the fear that Lex feels in the wee hours when Clark is curled up to next to him, and Lex wonders who Clark actually is. What Clark actually is, and ‘fear is as dangerous an enemy as resentment.’
Lex resents Clark. Lex loves Clark, and entangled in that is his fear of the unknown.
Lex is a scientist; he tells himself he doesn’t fear Clark as much as he wants to explore him. Lex wants to know more than that Clark doesn’t snore and occasionally hogs all the blankets. Late at night, when Clark looks preternaturally beautiful in the moonlight, Lex knows that there are some things that he can’t forgive. He’s not sure he ever will, and wouldn’t it be better to destroy that which is loved than wait for someone else to beat him to it?
Besides if he ever did betray Clark, it would only go to prove everyone right anyway. Everyone who ever said that he wasn’t worthy of Clark, everyone who said that he was the son of Lionel Luthor would have proof in point. But then everyone would forget about that, because there would be Clark, and Clark’s an alien, and god, an alien.
A beautiful alien who’s lied to Lex and twisted his heart.
I’ve got my own alien, dad. Beat that
Some nights Lex thinks that he’s already betrayed Clark. That he’s ferreted Clark away to the one arm of Cadmus labs that’s still open -- in Greenland. All in the name of science, of course, and no one would know for certain until Lex told them all. He could do the entire world a great disservice by saying nothing. Or, if he did listen to his love of science, he could wind up saving them all from a mass invasion of epic proportions. All he would have to say is ‘see the alien. What if there are more?’
Those are the nights that he wakes in a cold-sweat. Clark holds him without asking what’s wrong, so Lex doesn’t have to lie, which is really a good thing because there are already enough lies between them. Those are the nights that Lex believes he can do the right thing. Those are the nights that Lex believes that science isn’t as important as whatever he has with Clark. The times are few and far between, but every now and then, even Lex can believe in love, and in love being greater than science.
Notes: All quotes come from 'The Prince.'
slodwick has some amazing manips happening which are screaming ‘write chloe/lana,’ and lexluvsclark is just chock’a’block with the plot-driven stories. Hell, even evil_man decided to throw down.Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
-Coldplay ‘The Scientist’
He could dissect Clark in his sleep. Lex knows he could. Whether or not this is a homage to Lex’s science skills, or his desire to discover all there is to Clark, or just his twisted psyche coming out to play, Lex can’t really say.
Or maybe he just doesn’t want to.
It may be four in the morning, but it’s not as though Lex has never had these thoughts before, and Clark sleeps like the undead and the unhuman, which really he is, and Lex’s sense of humor tends to like the early hours. Every part of Lex is alive, attuned, and alert now. He always did his best work between one a.m. and five a.m.
There’s so much potential and possibility lying in the bed next to Lex. Science journals and Nobel Prizes and questions to a thousand years of evolution… but it’s not as though Lex wouldn’t have to actually plan before hand.
Scalpels and pans and sterilization and meteors. Lots of meteors.
And when Lex rolls over for the fiftieth time, he’s having more than some planning thoughts because he’s certainly had time enough think it over. For the first three weeks after the truth ‘came out’ it was all he thought about. A year later some things haven’t changed. It always comes back to the start: the lies and the deceit, and Clark might have his suspicions, but Lex doubts that he knows how deep Lex’s issues actually go.
Issues and qualms and Lex is still angry a year later. Only it’s less anger and more curiosity and bitterness. All the sex and soft words in the world aren’t going to drive that away. The question of ’why’ has yet to have a satisfactory answer, and Lex keeps coming back to lies and pain and trust.
Lex expects to be lied to. He expects to be deceived, and he knew that Clark was lying to him. He knew it. Lex alluded to false foundations and gave Clark every chance, and even though Clark finally came clean, Lex is still hurt. He’s not sure what he expected. He can’t say he expected better, not when he already knew different, but he believed in Clark. And together they colluded – they both participated in Lex’s deception.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lex thinks he always wanted to be wrong, only he wasn’t. He’s not, and it’s easier to admit that in the dark night of his bedroom. It’s easier when he doesn’t have to look directly at Clark and all his hidden strength. ‘Princes should be careful never to join with one stronger than himself’ and Clark is stronger than Lex. Being in – caring for Clark immediately puts Lex at Clark’s mercy, and Lex doesn’t like that. It’s not how the story should go, and for Lex it’s an ugly thought. As ugly as dissecting Clark on a cold table under a fluorescent light. It’s as ugly as the fear that Lex feels in the wee hours when Clark is curled up to next to him, and Lex wonders who Clark actually is. What Clark actually is, and ‘fear is as dangerous an enemy as resentment.’
Lex resents Clark. Lex loves Clark, and entangled in that is his fear of the unknown.
Lex is a scientist; he tells himself he doesn’t fear Clark as much as he wants to explore him. Lex wants to know more than that Clark doesn’t snore and occasionally hogs all the blankets. Late at night, when Clark looks preternaturally beautiful in the moonlight, Lex knows that there are some things that he can’t forgive. He’s not sure he ever will, and wouldn’t it be better to destroy that which is loved than wait for someone else to beat him to it?
Besides if he ever did betray Clark, it would only go to prove everyone right anyway. Everyone who ever said that he wasn’t worthy of Clark, everyone who said that he was the son of Lionel Luthor would have proof in point. But then everyone would forget about that, because there would be Clark, and Clark’s an alien, and god, an alien.
A beautiful alien who’s lied to Lex and twisted his heart.
I’ve got my own alien, dad. Beat that
Some nights Lex thinks that he’s already betrayed Clark. That he’s ferreted Clark away to the one arm of Cadmus labs that’s still open -- in Greenland. All in the name of science, of course, and no one would know for certain until Lex told them all. He could do the entire world a great disservice by saying nothing. Or, if he did listen to his love of science, he could wind up saving them all from a mass invasion of epic proportions. All he would have to say is ‘see the alien. What if there are more?’
Those are the nights that he wakes in a cold-sweat. Clark holds him without asking what’s wrong, so Lex doesn’t have to lie, which is really a good thing because there are already enough lies between them. Those are the nights that Lex believes he can do the right thing. Those are the nights that Lex believes that science isn’t as important as whatever he has with Clark. The times are few and far between, but every now and then, even Lex can believe in love, and in love being greater than science.
Notes: All quotes come from 'The Prince.'
