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I am obsessed with Warrior Angel. Seriously. I also found out upon re-watching ‘Ryan’ that I got some of my issue numbers jacked up – obviously that’s what I get for writing a story around an episode I watched 15 minutes of. Stupid me.

Also, the birthday presents are rolling in. Dude, it’s still a week away, but yo, so NOT complaining. [livejournal.com profile] rosenho and [livejournal.com profile] bonibaru rock. And then, of course, my girl hooked me up. Slytherin scarf, comic books, HP-toys. Yeah, I adore her. She knows it. And now she and [livejournal.com profile] impudent_rabbit (heh, rabbit) are doing Emslash for little old me.

Why can’t she be a man?



Old, New, Borrowed & Blue
I’m ripping-off my own creation. Go me!



“Are we clear?” he says with a certainty he doesn’t feel. His voice is flawless, but he’s very full of doubts. This could turn out to be a bad idea.

A very bad idea.

“Crystal,” Clark replies. He’s smiling too much. He should not be smiling; this is a responsibility. Lex would feel less nervous letting Clark take the Enzo road-tripping in the Rockies.

“And you will not take them out of their bags except for when you are in a completely dry area, is that correct?”

“Yes.” Yes. That ‘yes’ was just a bit too casual for Lex’s tastes. This is serious. Just because this conversation is occurring in bed is no reason for Clark not to take it seriously. Maybe Lex should put on some clothes, the nudity is probably impairing his judgment.

Actually, it’s not his nudity that is the problem.

“Why are you – Lex, I’m not cold.”

“Doesn’t matter, cover yourself up anyway.”

“When did you get so puritan?” Lex is not a Puritan. The Puritans tried to take over the Gamma Station back in Issue number 81 using Phish death rays.

“And you will never drink in the vicinity of these comic books, correct?” Clark is not going to distract Lex with the whole puppy-dog look that worked for Hector back in Issue number 112 when he broke Warrior Angel’s new bisector detector.

“Yes.”

“And you will obey Guardian Realm mandates and uphold the strict standards associated with Metro-verse comics at all times, right?”

A pause.

“Jesus, if I had known that taking out a comic book from The Lending Library of Lex Luthor was so difficult I wouldn’t have bothered.” If Clark thinks the pouting thing will work this time, he is wrong. Lex is not going to be waylaid by pouting Clark, not even when he’s shifting a lot in bed and the sheet is really not covering him up that well. Lex will have to correct that.

“Christ, Lex. We just had sex, sweaty sex for two hours, and *now* you’re trying to cover me up?”

“It’s not about the sex, Clark. I just find you very distracting, and this is business. I need to focus.” Yes, focusing is key. Naked Clark is not helping Lex to focus.

“Did I mention the sweaty sex, Lex? It’s a comic book!”

“If you don’t want it, don’t take it.” Lex would actually feel much better if Clark didn’t take the book. He’s very nervous about letting it out of his sight. Ryan was a special case, and at least he’s understood the sheer magnitude of Issue 66. Clark is practically a Philistine.

“I was joking, Lex.”

“We do not joke about Warrior Angel in this castle, Clark.” Lex never jokes about Warrior Angel. Any true comic book collector knows better than to joke about his comic books. Comic books are sacred; they are holy. How else do they make so much money? Comic books are certainly a better religion than say – Middle-Eastern Satan-worshipping like that done by the King Peacock in Top 10.

But that’s a different universe, different set of comics. Lex has to focus.

“Okay, now I know you must be joking.” Clark only wishes.

“The group I’m lending you includes issue number 66. This is not something I joke about, Clark.”

“You sound like – like a librarian.” Lex happens to know some very nice, very versatile and aerodynamic librarians. Okay, he knows some people who get into role-playing a lot and make good librarians, but same idea.

“I have two copies of 179 issues of Warrior Angel, Clark. I have the entire spin-off of Hector the Brave, Warrior Angel’s sidekick. I have Blue & Blast: The Adventures of Henry Constantinople and Pepper ‘Boom-Boom-Blast’ Anderson in the Timebomb Realm. I have –“

“Okay, I get it, Lex. Relax, geez. You never got this excited when I borrowed the Ferrari.” Clark has a point. Screw the point.

“This is not the same as borrowing the car, Clark. I can always get a new car. There is insurance on the car, Clark. Do you know how much it costs to get insurance on comic books?”

“You got insurance on comic books, Lex?”

“This collection is worth a lot of money.” Not as much as Lex has put into procuring it and protecting it, but close. It’s not really about the money though, Lex is just saying that, but he doubts that Lloyd's would have agreed to insure his collection if he weren't already such a good client.

It's the principle of the thing. Lex doesn't have many principles, but he has a few.

“Do you want me to put a deposit down or something?”

“That’s not a bad idea, what do you have of value?” Apart from the obvious, but Lex already has full access to that. There must be something else.

“You must be joking.”

“Do you see me smiling?” Smirking, yes - smiling, no. This is serious.

“Can I work it off then?” An indentured boyfriend. Now this is new. Lex likes the sound of it; perhaps it should involve leather and handcuffs. Yes, definitely a good idea with the handcuffs. “Don’t think a pretty smile and a nice ass are going to get you out of this.”

“My boyfriend is a freak.”

“Love me, love my comic books.”

“I don’t know if I love you that much, Lex. You’re practically married to them, I bet you’d kick me out of bed if something happened to them.” Why? Is Clark planning something? Is this a test of their relationship? Lex has heard about stuff like this, but Clark isn’t Victoria, he’s not going to try and take over Lex Corp, is he?

No, of course not.

Clark will start small. He’ll ruin Lex comic book collection, and then he’ll go for world domination.

“You might be right.”

Lex.”

“It’s not as though I wouldn’t let you back in – once you replaced the issues of course.” Or once Clark paraded around naked again, like he did an hour ago. Actually it was less parading and just going to retrieve something, but Lex isn’t that picky. Except about everything else in his life.

“You are scary.”

“This from the man who was reading ‘Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus?”

“That was different.”

-finis-

Date: 2002-11-19 10:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyvyola.livejournal.com
Happy, happy, happy sigh.

Lex happens to know some very nice, very versatile and aerodynamic librarians. Okay, he knows some people who get into role-playing a lot and make good librarians, but same idea.

Same idea. *snerk*

I just love the whole Mars/Venus thing:

Image

Date: 2002-11-19 11:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
::eyes icon with big eyes::

is that for me?

Date: 2002-11-19 01:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyvyola.livejournal.com
If you want it. I made it a while ago and never used it myself. It's just so right, what with all the advice Lex keeps giving to Clark, that Lex needs a book of his own.

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