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hackthis_archiveI had to sort this out tonight as Napoleon comes back tomorrow. sigh.
~ * ~
The next time Lex crashes to earth he’s going to make sure his whole body lands on the carpet. He supposes that that’s only going to happen if he actually gets wall-to-wall carpeting in his office though. The area rugs are nice decoration, but they’re not going to be very beneficial if Clark keeps dropping bombs like this one him. They’re not … practical, and Lionel is having chest pains somewhere right now; and that smirk probably isn’t the right expression for Lex to have on his face but, fuck it.
Lex’s left knee is twanging from where gravity slammed onto the hardwood floor and his right knee is not particularly happy about making up the difference. Knee buckling is really a descriptive metaphor. Still, Lex is on solid ground, solid earth, and he’s got a solid Clark touching his face. Stroking Lex’s *face* because… because Clark is Clark is oh, shit.
Lex temporarily forgot about *that*, if temporarily means for 4.25 seconds. It takes less time for his Ferrari to go to 60 and Lex is getting *slow.*
Or maybe it’s just Clark. Maybe it’s some sort of forcefield type thing that Clark permeates that *sucks* the unsuspecting in and that’s just fucking stupid because if that was true, well. If that was true Clark would be dating half the high school, and Lex, well, Lex would have offed the other half.
Clark is his… his, you know, not-human.
And being Lex’s *not-human* certainly explains Clark’s hands because no human’s hands could be this soft after living on a farm for fifteen years, and yeah. Okay. Lex can do this. Clark isn’t human, not a majorly big deal, but Clark isn’t gay either. Now that just blows.
Godfuckingdamnit.
“You thought – you thought I was gay?”
Thought, hoped, called the Psychic Friends Network, whatever.
“Well, I certainly didn’t think you were…”
“That I wasn’t human.”
“Yeah, that.”
“I’m not a *that*.” Oops. Not quite what Lex meant. “You can’t even say it, can you Lex?”
Slightly aggrieved tone there and somewhere someone is screaming ‘Danger Will Robinson!’ Lex almost misses it. Almost, but not quite.
“Yes, I can.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Yes, I can , what are you, five?” And that bastard is so not pouting at Lex. Wait. Maybe it’s not called pouting when you’re not human. Maybe it’s some sort of mutant form of breathing.
“Lex. I -- I told you because I thought I could trust you, but now you’re acting all weird and…” Oh fuck. Clark thinks Lex is freaking out because he doesn’t trust him. That’s not it at all. See he *knew* he wasn’t ready to have The Conversation yet.
“Clark.”
“Lex, *please.*”
Fuck shit damnit. Clark would have to go and say his name with *that* voice. And Lex is so not getting hard. Now is not the time. It’s probably the ‘please’ that really did Lex in. That. was. evil. Hell, maybe Clark’s evil. Maybe Clark is a scout for a race of Clarkbots, yeah, like Lex could be so lucky.
This is getting way out of hand. Hand and hands and Clark’s hands aren’t touching him anymore. Now that’s a shock. More of a shock than non-human Clark and not-gay Clark. This has to be rectified.
“You’re… you’re not human.”
Inhale, exhale. Breathing used to come so naturally for Lex.
“Right.”
“So you’re… a mutant?” Goddamn meteor rocks have probably fucked up Clark somehow, only Lex really can’t see anything wrong with Clark. He can see a lot of things that are *right* but wrong? Well, Lex can’t tell with Clark fully clothed. Maybe a thorough examination is in order and… no. No.
Clark isn’t a fuck up.
“What? No! No, I’m not – not a mutant.”
Which leaves Lex with only one other option and…
“Clark, are you trying to tell me that you’re an *alien*?” and Lex really couldn’t help his voice scaling up at the end of that sentence. He knows he couldn’t have. The whole voice *breaking* and *cracking* that probably could’ve been helped though.
Oh wait. Clark’s not laughing. Oh wait. Lex is. He knows it’s wrong, but that’s just. Oh, that’s priceless.
“Clark, if you,” Lex has to catch his breath. “If you weren’t interested in me…” Breathe. “All you had to do was say so, I’m a big boy I can take it.”
God, Lex’s ribs are killing him. This is just too much. He’s been rejected… three times in life, counting this but this is just… Oh.
Next time Lex won’t laugh at the alien.
Clark moves *fast.* Clark moves *really* fast. And Lex didn’t need to sit in a chair, he was just fine on the floor, but he knows now. Don’t upset the alien.
The alien being Clark. *His* Clark. He needs to regroup.
“Clark.”
“…”
“*Clark*”
For somebody who’s saying nothing at all Clark’s eyes are talking awful loudly.
“Clark, I need to get some things clear, just for my sake. Is that all right?”
Please say ‘yes.’ Please say ‘yes.’
“It’s okay, Lex. Just, you know, *ask* me, don’t, you know.” Not ask. Don’t assume. Oh, boy does Lex feel like a bastard right about now.
“Yeah, I know.”
A smiley happy Clark. A smiley happy non-human Clark. Right. And the hands are back. Okay, *a* hand is back, but it’s on Lex’s knee, and wow is Clark *warm.* Lex is such the dumb ass he should’ve known. Nobody with teeth that white could be human.
“So…” So you’re an alien. No. Try again, Alexander.
“So?”
“So you’re an alien.” Idiot.
“Right.”
“And you know this because you’re really three inches tall with yellow eyes and purple skin and this is just your insulation suit?”
“Lex.” Well, it sounded funny in his head.
“Clark, c’mon, work with me here. I’m trying, I just.”
God, Clark is too young to sigh that deeply. Or maybe not. Maybe Clark’s really 300 years old and everybody sighs like that where he, um, comes from?
“Where do you come from?”
“I – I don’t know. There’s just the, um, theshipIlandedin,” and ow, Clark’s gripping Lex’s knee. If Lex can just bend it a little…
“Oh my god, Lex! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean.” Oh, damage control alert. Damnit, now the hand is going away again, hell, the whole body is moving away. This isn’t acceptable to Lex at all.
“Clark,” oh wow, his knee *does* hurt. “Clark, you don’t have to move,” you can even sit on my lap if you want. Whoops. No. That’s not going to help this out but moving out this chair might. Sitting on the floor with Clark might help even more even though his knees are going to match his shirt in the morning.
They need to be on the same playing field. Lex needs to be near his nervous habit. Needs to touch him, feel him. Make sure he’s okay.
Soft skin on Clark’s hand, even softer over his cheekbone and Clark may not be human, but he sure as hell *feels* human. Sure as hell acts human. That may not be good enough for Alexander Joseph Luthor, but it’s sure as hell good enough for Lex.
“Okay, so, a ship. A ship. That you landed in.” Oh my god. Lex didn’t need six months to prepare for The Conversation, he needed six *years.*
“Yeah, a ship.”
“Wow.” Oh, that’s real intelligent.
“Yeah,” there’s that non-human smile again. “Wow.”
“So, what does it do?”
“Do? I don’t think it *does* anything.”
“You think? Haven’t you checked it out?”
“I only just found – no, not really.”
“Oh,” and Lex can’t help being disappointed because this, well, *this* is science. And he’s a scientist and Clark’s ship… is part of Clark. And Lex just. Lex doesn’t need to know. He may *want* to know but, he doesn’t *have* to know.
“I was kind of hoping you’d look at it with me.”
“Oh.” Oh. Yeah. Lex can do that and hey, hands. Again. More hands. Hands like Shiva. Lex thought Clark only had two hands.
Wow, Clark is really close and Lex never. Never…
“I was thinking it could be like a date thing.”
A date. Thing.
“Date, Clark?”
“Yeah, you know, pizza, a movie and play Doctor with the ship.”
“But - but…” and Lex sputtering is not one of his smoother moves. And to think he used to regularly ace Oral Communications. “But you’re, you’re an alien and you said…”
“Lex, I never said I wasn’t gay.”
-finis-
~ * ~
The next time Lex crashes to earth he’s going to make sure his whole body lands on the carpet. He supposes that that’s only going to happen if he actually gets wall-to-wall carpeting in his office though. The area rugs are nice decoration, but they’re not going to be very beneficial if Clark keeps dropping bombs like this one him. They’re not … practical, and Lionel is having chest pains somewhere right now; and that smirk probably isn’t the right expression for Lex to have on his face but, fuck it.
Lex’s left knee is twanging from where gravity slammed onto the hardwood floor and his right knee is not particularly happy about making up the difference. Knee buckling is really a descriptive metaphor. Still, Lex is on solid ground, solid earth, and he’s got a solid Clark touching his face. Stroking Lex’s *face* because… because Clark is Clark is oh, shit.
Lex temporarily forgot about *that*, if temporarily means for 4.25 seconds. It takes less time for his Ferrari to go to 60 and Lex is getting *slow.*
Or maybe it’s just Clark. Maybe it’s some sort of forcefield type thing that Clark permeates that *sucks* the unsuspecting in and that’s just fucking stupid because if that was true, well. If that was true Clark would be dating half the high school, and Lex, well, Lex would have offed the other half.
Clark is his… his, you know, not-human.
And being Lex’s *not-human* certainly explains Clark’s hands because no human’s hands could be this soft after living on a farm for fifteen years, and yeah. Okay. Lex can do this. Clark isn’t human, not a majorly big deal, but Clark isn’t gay either. Now that just blows.
Godfuckingdamnit.
“You thought – you thought I was gay?”
Thought, hoped, called the Psychic Friends Network, whatever.
“Well, I certainly didn’t think you were…”
“That I wasn’t human.”
“Yeah, that.”
“I’m not a *that*.” Oops. Not quite what Lex meant. “You can’t even say it, can you Lex?”
Slightly aggrieved tone there and somewhere someone is screaming ‘Danger Will Robinson!’ Lex almost misses it. Almost, but not quite.
“Yes, I can.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Yes, I can , what are you, five?” And that bastard is so not pouting at Lex. Wait. Maybe it’s not called pouting when you’re not human. Maybe it’s some sort of mutant form of breathing.
“Lex. I -- I told you because I thought I could trust you, but now you’re acting all weird and…” Oh fuck. Clark thinks Lex is freaking out because he doesn’t trust him. That’s not it at all. See he *knew* he wasn’t ready to have The Conversation yet.
“Clark.”
“Lex, *please.*”
Fuck shit damnit. Clark would have to go and say his name with *that* voice. And Lex is so not getting hard. Now is not the time. It’s probably the ‘please’ that really did Lex in. That. was. evil. Hell, maybe Clark’s evil. Maybe Clark is a scout for a race of Clarkbots, yeah, like Lex could be so lucky.
This is getting way out of hand. Hand and hands and Clark’s hands aren’t touching him anymore. Now that’s a shock. More of a shock than non-human Clark and not-gay Clark. This has to be rectified.
“You’re… you’re not human.”
Inhale, exhale. Breathing used to come so naturally for Lex.
“Right.”
“So you’re… a mutant?” Goddamn meteor rocks have probably fucked up Clark somehow, only Lex really can’t see anything wrong with Clark. He can see a lot of things that are *right* but wrong? Well, Lex can’t tell with Clark fully clothed. Maybe a thorough examination is in order and… no. No.
Clark isn’t a fuck up.
“What? No! No, I’m not – not a mutant.”
Which leaves Lex with only one other option and…
“Clark, are you trying to tell me that you’re an *alien*?” and Lex really couldn’t help his voice scaling up at the end of that sentence. He knows he couldn’t have. The whole voice *breaking* and *cracking* that probably could’ve been helped though.
Oh wait. Clark’s not laughing. Oh wait. Lex is. He knows it’s wrong, but that’s just. Oh, that’s priceless.
“Clark, if you,” Lex has to catch his breath. “If you weren’t interested in me…” Breathe. “All you had to do was say so, I’m a big boy I can take it.”
God, Lex’s ribs are killing him. This is just too much. He’s been rejected… three times in life, counting this but this is just… Oh.
Next time Lex won’t laugh at the alien.
Clark moves *fast.* Clark moves *really* fast. And Lex didn’t need to sit in a chair, he was just fine on the floor, but he knows now. Don’t upset the alien.
The alien being Clark. *His* Clark. He needs to regroup.
“Clark.”
“…”
“*Clark*”
For somebody who’s saying nothing at all Clark’s eyes are talking awful loudly.
“Clark, I need to get some things clear, just for my sake. Is that all right?”
Please say ‘yes.’ Please say ‘yes.’
“It’s okay, Lex. Just, you know, *ask* me, don’t, you know.” Not ask. Don’t assume. Oh, boy does Lex feel like a bastard right about now.
“Yeah, I know.”
A smiley happy Clark. A smiley happy non-human Clark. Right. And the hands are back. Okay, *a* hand is back, but it’s on Lex’s knee, and wow is Clark *warm.* Lex is such the dumb ass he should’ve known. Nobody with teeth that white could be human.
“So…” So you’re an alien. No. Try again, Alexander.
“So?”
“So you’re an alien.” Idiot.
“Right.”
“And you know this because you’re really three inches tall with yellow eyes and purple skin and this is just your insulation suit?”
“Lex.” Well, it sounded funny in his head.
“Clark, c’mon, work with me here. I’m trying, I just.”
God, Clark is too young to sigh that deeply. Or maybe not. Maybe Clark’s really 300 years old and everybody sighs like that where he, um, comes from?
“Where do you come from?”
“I – I don’t know. There’s just the, um, theshipIlandedin,” and ow, Clark’s gripping Lex’s knee. If Lex can just bend it a little…
“Oh my god, Lex! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean.” Oh, damage control alert. Damnit, now the hand is going away again, hell, the whole body is moving away. This isn’t acceptable to Lex at all.
“Clark,” oh wow, his knee *does* hurt. “Clark, you don’t have to move,” you can even sit on my lap if you want. Whoops. No. That’s not going to help this out but moving out this chair might. Sitting on the floor with Clark might help even more even though his knees are going to match his shirt in the morning.
They need to be on the same playing field. Lex needs to be near his nervous habit. Needs to touch him, feel him. Make sure he’s okay.
Soft skin on Clark’s hand, even softer over his cheekbone and Clark may not be human, but he sure as hell *feels* human. Sure as hell acts human. That may not be good enough for Alexander Joseph Luthor, but it’s sure as hell good enough for Lex.
“Okay, so, a ship. A ship. That you landed in.” Oh my god. Lex didn’t need six months to prepare for The Conversation, he needed six *years.*
“Yeah, a ship.”
“Wow.” Oh, that’s real intelligent.
“Yeah,” there’s that non-human smile again. “Wow.”
“So, what does it do?”
“Do? I don’t think it *does* anything.”
“You think? Haven’t you checked it out?”
“I only just found – no, not really.”
“Oh,” and Lex can’t help being disappointed because this, well, *this* is science. And he’s a scientist and Clark’s ship… is part of Clark. And Lex just. Lex doesn’t need to know. He may *want* to know but, he doesn’t *have* to know.
“I was kind of hoping you’d look at it with me.”
“Oh.” Oh. Yeah. Lex can do that and hey, hands. Again. More hands. Hands like Shiva. Lex thought Clark only had two hands.
Wow, Clark is really close and Lex never. Never…
“I was thinking it could be like a date thing.”
A date. Thing.
“Date, Clark?”
“Yeah, you know, pizza, a movie and play Doctor with the ship.”
“But - but…” and Lex sputtering is not one of his smoother moves. And to think he used to regularly ace Oral Communications. “But you’re, you’re an alien and you said…”
“Lex, I never said I wasn’t gay.”
-finis-
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 06:00 pm (UTC)/Thought, hoped, called the Psychic Friends Network, whatever./ LMAO!
Date. A date. Means that there will be one... so you have to write about it right? Right?
Re:
Date: 2002-05-30 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 06:13 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-05-30 06:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 06:00 pm (UTC)You know this and all, I know but... I really really do.
This is just what I needed today, hon.
Re:
Date: 2002-05-30 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 06:45 pm (UTC)Let's talk this weekend' kay? Sunday your time?
Re:
Date: 2002-05-30 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 06:28 pm (UTC)LOL. Funny. Silly. I love it.
no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 06:35 pm (UTC)*mwah*
no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 06:44 pm (UTC)"Thought, hoped, called the Psychic Friends Network, whatever."
Damn ... this was good shit. I'm still firmly in the "Zahra-should-shut-the-fuck-up-about-not-being-able-to-write-dialogue" camp here.
In fact I think we should have some buttons made up to wear *g*
Jeez you crack me up, Z.
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Date: 2002-05-30 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 06:54 pm (UTC)Nope, not commenting at all. *BG*
Re:
Date: 2002-05-30 06:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 07:11 pm (UTC)Yes Z's not a whore ... she'll just do *anything* to get what she wants !!! *BG*
Must be why I know you so well ... *g*
Re:
Date: 2002-05-30 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 06:56 pm (UTC)hee hee
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Date: 2002-05-30 06:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 07:17 pm (UTC)not because we're just the wrong side of crazy ... nope never that. *BG*
no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-31 12:41 am (UTC)There's no excuse to not write more *BG*
How can you think someone who is as snark-a-liscious as you couldn't write dialogue ...
Now we just have to work on the smut-thing
You'll be writing it in no time !!!
Resistance is futile ... *eg*
no subject
Date: 2002-05-31 10:16 am (UTC)i'm glad you liked it though. thanks!
no subject
Date: 2002-05-31 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-31 10:19 am (UTC)My timing is excellent!
Date: 2002-05-31 01:13 am (UTC)Hee! Giggling. Poor, bewildered Lex. And I love your closing lines--perfect downbeats, exactly right and very hilarious. *Good* dialogue. Very nicely done, m'dear.
Jayne Leitch
My ass is pretty psyched, too. *g*
Date: 2002-05-31 06:14 am (UTC)*giggle*
Can I have a Clarkbot, too?
and more with the yay!
Date: 2002-05-31 03:39 pm (UTC)Okay, gonna go with "Yay!" again.
no subject
Date: 2002-05-31 06:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-06-01 03:15 pm (UTC)