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hackthis_archiveYou know, for somebody who’s supposed to be on holiday I sure as hell seem to be writing a lot. ::shrugs:: I owed something that was distinctly not this to Wendi before I left, but Lex and I are still too put out about the Alexander the Great debacle to talk about it yet.
The First Christmas
“There’s a fine line between decoration and gaudiness,” Lex reminds Clark with an arched eyebrow and nod to the strings of lights that Clark is haphazardly tossing around the tree. A very fine line, he wants to add, and one that you crossed two strings back. However, Lex holds his tongue, nestles into the confines of the sofa, and goes back to pretending to read spreadsheets and projections that he’s already looked over six times today. It’s only pretending if he gets caught doing it, and how can Clark be the wiser when he’s got strands of popcorn hanging from his neck? Lex doesn’t want to seem like a Scrooge, but his internal sense of style is screaming at the top of its designer lungs. Tinsel in wreaths and holy in the kitchen? Lex will have to draw the line at Clark dressing up in a fuzzy red suit and donning a white beard.
Unless, of course, the red suit in question is a Speedo.
Christmas or not, there are some things that Luthor’s refuse to tolerate, and tackiness is definitely in the top ten.
“If you don’t like it, why don’t you come over here and correct it?” Clark shoots back with rather cheery aplomb. If Lex didn’t know any better he might be appalled. How anyone can be this happy, even Clark, escapes him in a way that this season always has. Such cheap, crass commercialism. He’s actually just upset that he didn’t think of it first. The money that’s being made off of Christmas makes his palms potentially sweat. Sadly, Lex doesn’t see anyone buying bags of fertilizer as a holiday gift - unless it's him or his father.
“I’ve told you several times that if you want to *decorate* the penthouse to look like a Hallmark store exploded that’s your business, but don’t expect me to take part,” Lex retorts with a smirk that’s more than a bit lacking. He’s not the Grinch by any means, but everything in its place. Moderation would be a lovely thing for Clark to learn about right now.
There are pies in the kitchen and somewhere along the lines they’ve even appropriated a *fruitcake*. Lex has never had a fruitcake in his life - sex life notwithstanding - but he did prod it with his finger and it was as hard as rock. He’s contemplating using it as a paperweight. Either that or dropping it from the balcony and seeing what happens.
“You don’t have to be so stingy about it,” Clark calls while he strings strands of popcorn around a tree that’s taller than him by several feet. If Lex were in the Christmasy mood he might offer to sit on Clark’s shoulders and take care of the top, but with all of Clark’s *gifts* he figures that's a moot point. Knowing Clark, he’s probably got some sort of new power under wraps that will make the top of the tree come to *him*. Said power certainly seems to work on Lex.
“I am not being stingy,” he shoots back. “I just don’t see the point in going to all this hassle when we’re not even going to be here on Christmas Day.” Point in fact, if they *were* going to be at the penthouse on Christmas Day, Lex might feel more incentive to get involved. Actually, that‘s a lie, but he would rather be *anywhere* than sitting across from Jonathan Kent on Christmas Day, hell included. Unfortunately, this is one battle he has lost and not for lacking of trying. It doesn’t matter how many Christmases that Lex spends with the Kents, it has yet to get any easier. Lex suspects that even when Mr. Kent is old and infirmed, he’ll still torment Lex with his walking stick and empty threats. “All this tree is going to do is shed all over the carpet, and then Gladys will gripe about having to clean up after it.” Which is the exact same reason that he hasn’t caved and bought Clark that puppy he wanted for Christmas, not that it hasn’t been tough going though. Clark can be very persistent when he wants something.
“Lex, we’re not having the Christmas argument again. We always go to my parents, it’s tradition.“ Lex hates traditions; they’ve given him enough grief in his life. He really should remind Clark of that.
“And as for Gladys, you don’t owe her a bonus for cleaning up after the tree, you owe her a bonus for cleaning up after *you*,” Clark reminds him as he opens a box of ornaments and shakes one at Lex at an attempt at enticement. It fails spectacularly.
“I’m giving her a bonus because I don’t want her to leave me in the lurch with cleaning up this mess,” Lex corrects Clark as he rearranges himself on the sofa and graces the tree with a critiquing eye. “You need more lights on the back; I think you have too many blue lights and not enough yellow ones.”
“Thank you so much, Ebenezer. Is that your idea of being helpful, Lex? You *could* come over here and help me with this,” Clark says as he hangs three golden bulbs at once. It’s an exercise in overkill.
“Now why would I want to do that when you’re obviously so involved in your decorating, Martha Stewart?” If Lex were to go over and actually assist in Clark with this then he might lose his view of the action, and despite how idiotic Clark looks right now, he’s still *Lex’s* idiot.
Lex has never been big on the Christmas thing, and he’s told Clark this countless times. Lex does his shopping on-line, and the one time that Clark tried to drag him to the mall he almost went into apoplectic shock. Too many fucking people, too many kids deserving coal, and too many Salvation Army Santas probably sticking their sooty hands in the coffers. And yet, that has yet to deter Clark from turning the penthouse into a mini-North Pole. The mistletoe Lex didn’t mind, and the tree, well, at least Lex didn’t have to drag it up all those flights of stairs. He tried to explain to Clark that that was the whole point of having a doorman and an *elevator*, but Clark is first and foremost a Kent and there are some thing that he just doesn’t get.
There are decorators for occasions like this.
“Insults will not get you anywhere, Lex.” Clark has several ornaments in his hands now, and he’s hooked at least three into the belt loops of his jeans. Lex can think of far better uses for belt loops. He can think of far better uses for belts period, and how can Clark say that insults haven’t got Lex anywhere? He’s got a thriving company, a holiday season where his father has gone off to Bora Bora, and a Christmas day with his future in-laws. When Lex looks at it this way, well then, yes, insults are not the way to go. Perhaps hari-kari is.
“Clark, if you want to play *Satan* Claus that’s your business, but don’t expect me to participate,” he says, rustling papers in an attempt to appear busy.
“No, instead you’re just going to sit on the sofa and play the Grinch,” Clark mutters, holding a ornament hook between his teeth. Hanging the little drummer boy on the tree, he unhooks a pied piper from his jeans and gives the tree its due consideration. “You’re not fooling me with those papers you know.”
Chuckling at being found out, Lex puts the papers aside and slides forward towards the edge of the sofa. “I take great offense to that,” he begins, picking up a teacup with dubious yellow liquid in it and wrinkling his nose at the non-alcoholic eggnog that the cook has left for Clark. “For starters, the Grinch has much more hair than I do, and furthermore his fashion sense is just awful.” Besides, Lex refuses to do all that tree work, and Clark tried to touch him the other day with sap on his fingers. Somewhere Lex has to draw the line. But now there are lights and ornaments and enough tinsel to blind Santa Claus himself.
Lex doesn’t mind if Clark wants to go all out, it is their first Christmas together after all, but *someone* must oversee the entire operation. Lex is all about delegating responsibility: what’s the point in having a boyfriend with alien powers if he can’t enjoy the fringe benefits?
“Clark, if you put any more tinsel on that tree, it’s going to look like you wrapped it in foil,” he declares, finally deigning to rise from the seat of his Christmas reign.
Walking over to where Clark stands with his lips pursed in a rather scary imitation of his mother, Lex begins removing vast clumps of tinsel and handing them back to Clark. “Think less is more,” he offers as he makes his way around the tree minimizing the damage that Clark has done. If he’s going to have to see this monstrosity for the next several weeks, he refuses to let it make him go blind.
“Thanks for all your help, lazy,” Clark chides as he follows on Lex’s heels, grabbing at the tinsel that Lex tosses over his head.
“I’m the executive partner here, Clark,“ Lex reminds him as he wrinkles his nose at the plethora of golden bulbs and removes several, dropping them back in their box with a volley of plinking sounds. Stepping back from the tree, Lex considers it thoughtfully.
“I was hoping you would do a bit more to celebrate our first Christmas together, you know,” Clark says, turning to Lex and poking him in the chest with a tinsel-tangled finger.
“Now why would I do that when you were having so much fun?” Lex smirks.
“Because the whole point of Christmas is to do things *together*, Lex.” Clark can’t possibly be pulling the pouting face. That’s just wrong. Obviously Lex will have to rectify this situation immediately; who knows how long it will go on. Clark once withheld sex for three whole days, and Lex nearly lost his mind. Christmas is almost three weeks away, and he can’t take Clark to his parents looking like this.
“You know, I’m not really big on this Christmas thing, Clark,” Lex reminds him as he cocks an eyebrow and decides to wait out Clark’s current episode. For a twenty-one year old man, sometimes Clark acts fifteen.
“I know that, but I figured you could do this one thing - for me.”
“Ah,” Lex begins, digging into his pockets and pulling out a red square of tissue-wrapped paper. “If I’m only doing one thing for you this Christmas then I suppose you don’t want it to be this?” he says holding out the package on the flat of his hand. Winking at Clark as he reaches out and lifts the gift from Lex's palm, Lex slides his hands back into his pocket and waits expectantly.
“I thought we agreed no gifts until Christmas,” Clark says as his fingers deftly work at sliding the green ribbon off the package.
“Well, yes,” Lex concedes, “but I don’t think they’re willing to take this back at the store.” Looking up at Clark, Lex would never admit he’s holding his breath, but he is. He’s only been holding onto this since Clark agreed to move in with him in June.
Clark stop being impressed with what Lex could give him a while ago, but every now and then Lex manages to surprise him. At least that’s what Lex thinks is going on as the silver ornament catches the light, and Clark raises his head looking slightly stunned.
“It’s beautiful, Lex,” he says tracing the engraving on the back of the silver Santa and reindeer before holding it up and watching as the attached houses chime a tinny non-tune. “To celebrate our first Christmas,” Lex offers as he nods towards the tree in explanation. “I had to make sure the tree was ready first.”
“Where should I hang it?” Clark’s voice is husky in a way that Lex can’t remember hearing it before outside of the bedroom, and the shower, and the sofa, and the back of his towncar... Maybe he should buy Clark ornaments more often.
“Wherever you want, Clark,” he says as he slides his arms around Clark’s waist and kisses him on the cheek. “Merry Christmas.”
-finis-
That was a lot of happiness, especially for me. Excuse me while I go ring my dentist.
HP: A Black and White Kind of Life
The First Christmas
“There’s a fine line between decoration and gaudiness,” Lex reminds Clark with an arched eyebrow and nod to the strings of lights that Clark is haphazardly tossing around the tree. A very fine line, he wants to add, and one that you crossed two strings back. However, Lex holds his tongue, nestles into the confines of the sofa, and goes back to pretending to read spreadsheets and projections that he’s already looked over six times today. It’s only pretending if he gets caught doing it, and how can Clark be the wiser when he’s got strands of popcorn hanging from his neck? Lex doesn’t want to seem like a Scrooge, but his internal sense of style is screaming at the top of its designer lungs. Tinsel in wreaths and holy in the kitchen? Lex will have to draw the line at Clark dressing up in a fuzzy red suit and donning a white beard.
Unless, of course, the red suit in question is a Speedo.
Christmas or not, there are some things that Luthor’s refuse to tolerate, and tackiness is definitely in the top ten.
“If you don’t like it, why don’t you come over here and correct it?” Clark shoots back with rather cheery aplomb. If Lex didn’t know any better he might be appalled. How anyone can be this happy, even Clark, escapes him in a way that this season always has. Such cheap, crass commercialism. He’s actually just upset that he didn’t think of it first. The money that’s being made off of Christmas makes his palms potentially sweat. Sadly, Lex doesn’t see anyone buying bags of fertilizer as a holiday gift - unless it's him or his father.
“I’ve told you several times that if you want to *decorate* the penthouse to look like a Hallmark store exploded that’s your business, but don’t expect me to take part,” Lex retorts with a smirk that’s more than a bit lacking. He’s not the Grinch by any means, but everything in its place. Moderation would be a lovely thing for Clark to learn about right now.
There are pies in the kitchen and somewhere along the lines they’ve even appropriated a *fruitcake*. Lex has never had a fruitcake in his life - sex life notwithstanding - but he did prod it with his finger and it was as hard as rock. He’s contemplating using it as a paperweight. Either that or dropping it from the balcony and seeing what happens.
“You don’t have to be so stingy about it,” Clark calls while he strings strands of popcorn around a tree that’s taller than him by several feet. If Lex were in the Christmasy mood he might offer to sit on Clark’s shoulders and take care of the top, but with all of Clark’s *gifts* he figures that's a moot point. Knowing Clark, he’s probably got some sort of new power under wraps that will make the top of the tree come to *him*. Said power certainly seems to work on Lex.
“I am not being stingy,” he shoots back. “I just don’t see the point in going to all this hassle when we’re not even going to be here on Christmas Day.” Point in fact, if they *were* going to be at the penthouse on Christmas Day, Lex might feel more incentive to get involved. Actually, that‘s a lie, but he would rather be *anywhere* than sitting across from Jonathan Kent on Christmas Day, hell included. Unfortunately, this is one battle he has lost and not for lacking of trying. It doesn’t matter how many Christmases that Lex spends with the Kents, it has yet to get any easier. Lex suspects that even when Mr. Kent is old and infirmed, he’ll still torment Lex with his walking stick and empty threats. “All this tree is going to do is shed all over the carpet, and then Gladys will gripe about having to clean up after it.” Which is the exact same reason that he hasn’t caved and bought Clark that puppy he wanted for Christmas, not that it hasn’t been tough going though. Clark can be very persistent when he wants something.
“Lex, we’re not having the Christmas argument again. We always go to my parents, it’s tradition.“ Lex hates traditions; they’ve given him enough grief in his life. He really should remind Clark of that.
“And as for Gladys, you don’t owe her a bonus for cleaning up after the tree, you owe her a bonus for cleaning up after *you*,” Clark reminds him as he opens a box of ornaments and shakes one at Lex at an attempt at enticement. It fails spectacularly.
“I’m giving her a bonus because I don’t want her to leave me in the lurch with cleaning up this mess,” Lex corrects Clark as he rearranges himself on the sofa and graces the tree with a critiquing eye. “You need more lights on the back; I think you have too many blue lights and not enough yellow ones.”
“Thank you so much, Ebenezer. Is that your idea of being helpful, Lex? You *could* come over here and help me with this,” Clark says as he hangs three golden bulbs at once. It’s an exercise in overkill.
“Now why would I want to do that when you’re obviously so involved in your decorating, Martha Stewart?” If Lex were to go over and actually assist in Clark with this then he might lose his view of the action, and despite how idiotic Clark looks right now, he’s still *Lex’s* idiot.
Lex has never been big on the Christmas thing, and he’s told Clark this countless times. Lex does his shopping on-line, and the one time that Clark tried to drag him to the mall he almost went into apoplectic shock. Too many fucking people, too many kids deserving coal, and too many Salvation Army Santas probably sticking their sooty hands in the coffers. And yet, that has yet to deter Clark from turning the penthouse into a mini-North Pole. The mistletoe Lex didn’t mind, and the tree, well, at least Lex didn’t have to drag it up all those flights of stairs. He tried to explain to Clark that that was the whole point of having a doorman and an *elevator*, but Clark is first and foremost a Kent and there are some thing that he just doesn’t get.
There are decorators for occasions like this.
“Insults will not get you anywhere, Lex.” Clark has several ornaments in his hands now, and he’s hooked at least three into the belt loops of his jeans. Lex can think of far better uses for belt loops. He can think of far better uses for belts period, and how can Clark say that insults haven’t got Lex anywhere? He’s got a thriving company, a holiday season where his father has gone off to Bora Bora, and a Christmas day with his future in-laws. When Lex looks at it this way, well then, yes, insults are not the way to go. Perhaps hari-kari is.
“Clark, if you want to play *Satan* Claus that’s your business, but don’t expect me to participate,” he says, rustling papers in an attempt to appear busy.
“No, instead you’re just going to sit on the sofa and play the Grinch,” Clark mutters, holding a ornament hook between his teeth. Hanging the little drummer boy on the tree, he unhooks a pied piper from his jeans and gives the tree its due consideration. “You’re not fooling me with those papers you know.”
Chuckling at being found out, Lex puts the papers aside and slides forward towards the edge of the sofa. “I take great offense to that,” he begins, picking up a teacup with dubious yellow liquid in it and wrinkling his nose at the non-alcoholic eggnog that the cook has left for Clark. “For starters, the Grinch has much more hair than I do, and furthermore his fashion sense is just awful.” Besides, Lex refuses to do all that tree work, and Clark tried to touch him the other day with sap on his fingers. Somewhere Lex has to draw the line. But now there are lights and ornaments and enough tinsel to blind Santa Claus himself.
Lex doesn’t mind if Clark wants to go all out, it is their first Christmas together after all, but *someone* must oversee the entire operation. Lex is all about delegating responsibility: what’s the point in having a boyfriend with alien powers if he can’t enjoy the fringe benefits?
“Clark, if you put any more tinsel on that tree, it’s going to look like you wrapped it in foil,” he declares, finally deigning to rise from the seat of his Christmas reign.
Walking over to where Clark stands with his lips pursed in a rather scary imitation of his mother, Lex begins removing vast clumps of tinsel and handing them back to Clark. “Think less is more,” he offers as he makes his way around the tree minimizing the damage that Clark has done. If he’s going to have to see this monstrosity for the next several weeks, he refuses to let it make him go blind.
“Thanks for all your help, lazy,” Clark chides as he follows on Lex’s heels, grabbing at the tinsel that Lex tosses over his head.
“I’m the executive partner here, Clark,“ Lex reminds him as he wrinkles his nose at the plethora of golden bulbs and removes several, dropping them back in their box with a volley of plinking sounds. Stepping back from the tree, Lex considers it thoughtfully.
“I was hoping you would do a bit more to celebrate our first Christmas together, you know,” Clark says, turning to Lex and poking him in the chest with a tinsel-tangled finger.
“Now why would I do that when you were having so much fun?” Lex smirks.
“Because the whole point of Christmas is to do things *together*, Lex.” Clark can’t possibly be pulling the pouting face. That’s just wrong. Obviously Lex will have to rectify this situation immediately; who knows how long it will go on. Clark once withheld sex for three whole days, and Lex nearly lost his mind. Christmas is almost three weeks away, and he can’t take Clark to his parents looking like this.
“You know, I’m not really big on this Christmas thing, Clark,” Lex reminds him as he cocks an eyebrow and decides to wait out Clark’s current episode. For a twenty-one year old man, sometimes Clark acts fifteen.
“I know that, but I figured you could do this one thing - for me.”
“Ah,” Lex begins, digging into his pockets and pulling out a red square of tissue-wrapped paper. “If I’m only doing one thing for you this Christmas then I suppose you don’t want it to be this?” he says holding out the package on the flat of his hand. Winking at Clark as he reaches out and lifts the gift from Lex's palm, Lex slides his hands back into his pocket and waits expectantly.
“I thought we agreed no gifts until Christmas,” Clark says as his fingers deftly work at sliding the green ribbon off the package.
“Well, yes,” Lex concedes, “but I don’t think they’re willing to take this back at the store.” Looking up at Clark, Lex would never admit he’s holding his breath, but he is. He’s only been holding onto this since Clark agreed to move in with him in June.
Clark stop being impressed with what Lex could give him a while ago, but every now and then Lex manages to surprise him. At least that’s what Lex thinks is going on as the silver ornament catches the light, and Clark raises his head looking slightly stunned.
“It’s beautiful, Lex,” he says tracing the engraving on the back of the silver Santa and reindeer before holding it up and watching as the attached houses chime a tinny non-tune. “To celebrate our first Christmas,” Lex offers as he nods towards the tree in explanation. “I had to make sure the tree was ready first.”
“Where should I hang it?” Clark’s voice is husky in a way that Lex can’t remember hearing it before outside of the bedroom, and the shower, and the sofa, and the back of his towncar... Maybe he should buy Clark ornaments more often.
“Wherever you want, Clark,” he says as he slides his arms around Clark’s waist and kisses him on the cheek. “Merry Christmas.”
-finis-
That was a lot of happiness, especially for me. Excuse me while I go ring my dentist.
HP: A Black and White Kind of Life
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-12-23 09:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-12-24 07:56 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you liked it, Merry Christmas!
no subject
Date: 2002-12-23 10:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-12-24 08:04 pm (UTC)I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Merry Christmas!
no subject
Date: 2002-12-23 10:27 am (UTC)And how much do I love this fabulous bit: Clark can’t possibly be pulling the pouting face. That’s just wrong. Obviously Lex will have to rectify this situation immediately; who knows how long it will go on. Clark once withheld sex for three whole days, and Lex nearly lost his mind. Christmas is almost three weeks away, and he can’t take Clark to his parents looking like this.
Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!
no subject
Date: 2002-12-24 08:15 pm (UTC)::chuckles gleefully under mound of unwrapped christmas present:: thanks! merry christmas.
no subject
Date: 2002-12-23 10:49 am (UTC)Oh, Z... thanks so much for taking time to write during the holidays. And you bring The Happy! *wallows*
Lex will have to draw the line at Clark dressing up in a fuzzy red suit and donning a white beard.
Unless, of course, the red suit in question is a Speedo.
*giggles* Oh, my... I have to agree with Lex on this one. *purrrrr*
no subject
Date: 2002-12-24 08:20 pm (UTC)Oh, Z... thanks so much for taking time to write during the holidays. And you bring The Happy! *wallows*
I'm taking a respite from all those christmas presents i was supposed to wrap earlier and yet never got around too. whoops, bad zahra. anyhoo. merry christmas, andy, i'm glad you liked this!
no subject
Date: 2002-12-23 11:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-12-24 08:24 pm (UTC)shhhhh. lex doesn't get nervous, he has, errr, patience issues. yes, that's it
no subject
Date: 2002-12-23 01:46 pm (UTC)Huunnnnuddhhhhaaawwwweeeenuunnnnhh!
*sigh* I'm not writing any christams fic. I don't need to now.
*wanders off singing carols under breath*
no subject
Date: 2002-12-24 08:25 pm (UTC)*wanders off singing carols under breath*
Nonsense, you can never have too much Christmas fic. Come along now, chop chop. Okay, well not today, but tomorrow. Merry Christmas by the way!
no subject
Date: 2002-12-23 03:25 pm (UTC)and despite how idiotic Clark looks right now, he’s still *Lex’s* idiot.
hehe That's a great line!
no subject
Date: 2002-12-24 08:26 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked it!
no subject
Date: 2002-12-23 04:40 pm (UTC)Hee! and Awww! I love it. Yay for Happy Christmas fic! Thank you! Great job!
no subject
Date: 2002-12-24 08:27 pm (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed this, and a very Happy Christmas to you too!
no subject
Date: 2002-12-23 06:26 pm (UTC)*shakes head* Wow, if Lex is thinking the word "moderation" during the holidays, he has definitely missed the true spirit of Christmas. It is as well for him that he has Clark, who appears to have earned his certification in Yule Presentation and Preparedness.
And I will not squeal "woobie!" I am too Grinchly for that.
*squeezes heart back down to size*
no subject
Date: 2002-12-24 08:29 pm (UTC)And I will not squeal "woobie!" I am too Grinchly for that.
*squeezes heart back down to size*
Grinch, what Grinch? It's 33 minutes until Christmas, you'll find no Grinches here. most likely they've all been smothered by all the christmas presents i'm supposed to be wrapping right now, stupid procrastination! Happy Christmas!
no subject
Date: 2002-12-23 06:45 pm (UTC)This should not have made me laugh so hard, but it did.
Zahra, I adore you. I don't think I tell you that enough. Come let mom hug you until you get all squirmy and hide behind the couch.
*squeezy-scrunchy-hugs*
Happy Christmas, sweets.
no subject
Date: 2002-12-24 08:32 pm (UTC)Zahra, I adore you. I don't think I tell you that enough. Come let mom hug you until you get all squirmy and hide behind the couch.
*squeezy-scrunchy-hugs*
Happy Christmas, sweets.
::lifts head from non-wrapped christmas presents and mutters something unfitting. gets whapped in head by brother for less than christmas like remarks, and is pointedly reminded of adorable wee in *purple - read:luthor corp* dress and told to be quiet and wrap faster::
it's all his fault. it always is. happy christmas, wendi!
Re:
Date: 2002-12-25 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-12-27 11:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-12-27 08:41 pm (UTC)