I'm a slave... for a really hot car
Jan. 9th, 2003 02:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveI’m writing what makes me happy. Cars, y’all. Always about the cars. Or comic books, or chess, or clubbing. Do you think they have comic books in HP-verse? I should create some, huh? ;)
Smallville
The Little Engine that Could
Notes: Thanks to Wendi (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
happyminion) for giving Lex the best grandfather in the world: Leo. This is also a small, very early birthday gift for her because she's the best, and she gave the world Chloe/Wally
“Take your time. This is an important decision, an expensive decision, I don’t want you to rush it.” Lex placed a lot of emphasis on the ‘expensive’ part of his statement. Whichever way the proverbial cake got cut, he was going to be missing several pennies from his bank account. That last thing he’d want is for them to be spent in vain.
Thirty million plus pennies was a lot no matter what your name was.
“Uh,” was Clark’s only reply, which thankfully, didn’t distress Lex. That had pretty much been Lex's reaction when his assistant had finally given him the proofs as well. They were the sort of photographs that made him wish it was his birthday.
“I know how much he likes you,” Lex glanced at Clark out the corner of his eye and grinned. “I’m sure he’d want you to be included in selecting his birthday present.”
Lex normally made important decisions alone: which car to drive, what company to bankrupt, which ex to fuck over, which socks best matched his favorite lilac shirt. Sometimes, however, he sought outside opinions. Not often, but every now and then he went looking for another voice to give him insight into the hoi polloi's collective thoughts. It amused him. And then there were occasions that he consulted Clark.
“I’m extremely impressed by the similarities of my choices,” Lex said, reaching out and straightening the edges of one of the photographs on his desk. When he tilted his head to the side the images took a distinctly phallic resemblance, as though Lex really needed more reasons to think of sex in Clark’s vicinity. Of course, the presence of the photographs didn’t hurt either. Although for the subject matter’s asking price, they would have to come with an on-call escort service to be a good investment.
“But my problem with the one on the left is that it looks a little too much like the one on the right. However, the problem with the one in the middle is that it’s American made, and you know how I feel about domestic cars.” Lex waited patiently as Clark’s mouth opened and no sound came out. It wasn’t often that Lex left Clark this speechless. Well, there had been that time with the chocolate sauce in the kitchen, but they were fully clothed for this and the staff hadn’t even been dismissed. Besides, Lex really did have to make the calls about this today if things were going to be ready in time.
“Still, I’m leaning towards the one in the middle,” he carried on as though Clark were participating in the discussion. Not that there had been a discussion, just a lot of jaw dropping and eyeball-popping. “There’s just something about it that says ‘Luthor.’ Don’t you think so, Clark?” A pause. “Clark?”
Lex was impressed. Clark’s face was completely glazed over. It reminded Lex of the first time he let Clark drive the E-Class… before that incident with the Bennett’s cat. Poor car.
“What’s this one called again?” Clark finally said, pointing to Lex’s favorite of the three.
“The Sixteen.” Lex picked up the photograph and held it at arms length. “You know, if it had come out last year, I might have bought you one for your birthday, but I guess you’ll just have to wait until they make a Seventeen.” Lex grinned, and swayed a bit when Clark pushed at him playfully.
“Is it just me, Lex, or does it look a little, well...”
“Like something out of Warrior Angel?” Lex finished. “No, it’s more like something Henry Constantinople would drive.”
“I was going to say more, um, sex-like.”
“Clark Kent, I’m shocked at the way you think. Do your parents know about your prurient outlook?” Lex's tone tried for joking and ended up somewhere around lascivious.
“I’m a seventeen year-old boy, Lex, what do you think?”
"Good point."
“What’s up with the name anyway?” Clark asked, picking up another photograph and holding it side by side with the one in Lex's hand.
“'Sixteen' for a V16 engine. That’s over 1000 horses, Clark. Almost as fast as you,” Lex threw in as Clark tried to elbow him in the ribs. ”Or maybe not.”
“I’m not a horse, Lex,” Clark shot back, only slightly indignant under the appraising glance that Lex gave him, and Lex had to concede the point. Clark was no horse, or no mere horse. He’d put any quality thoroughbred to shame, especially with legs like his.
“You really love your grandfather don’t you?” Clark asked as Lex stood up and turned around, flipping the specs for the Sixteen over so he could began scribbling instructions on the back.
“Luthors don’t love, we appreciate,” Lex corrected, straightening up and plucking the other rejected photographs out of Clark's hands and placing them in his out tray. It wouldn’t do to tempt himself any further, Lex Corp wasn’t making that much money yet. Looking up, he caught a strained look crossing Clark’s face, but it was brief enough that Lex knew he wasn’t supposed to see it.
Clark cleared his throat and pulled the spec sheet out of Lex’s hand. “Your grandfather’s chauffeur is going to have a field day, Lex.”
Lex cocked an eyebrow and pulled the picture back out of Clark’s hands. “Grandfather drives himself, Clark. Do you think I’d spend untold amounts of money so that a chauffeur could have a good time?
“What do you mean untold?”
“Conservative estimates start around three hundred thousand, but it’s a concept car, Clark. Technically, it doesn’t even have a price yet.”
“Three... concept... tech... How can you buy what doesn’t have a price, Lex?”
“A very philosophical question, young Sigmund,” Lex offered as he walked over to the trolley and poured himself a glass of something very brown. “The answer is between the people at Cadillac and my accountant,” he added.
“It’s too early to drink, Lex," Clark interjected, walking over. "Wait, Cadillac. As in Cadillac Cadillac?”
“Its iced tea,” Lex said, taking a sip and contemplating the use of mint and julep in his drinks. “And unless there’s another Cadillac I don’t know about, then yes, Clark, the Cadillac people from Detroit. The place that gave the world Marshall. It should probably be declared a natural disaster and evacuated.”
Clark stood at Lex’s elbow, his face a mask of total sincerity. “Marshall aside, are you sure you have the strength to buy an American made car, Lex? Are you sure you won’t die of shame or have your name dirtied by association?” he said, his voice incredibly even and calm until the end when his face nearly split in half with the size of his smile.
“Some things just can’t get any dirtier,” Lex replied with a sharp grin, taking another sip of tea before making his way back to the desk. Shuffling papers around, he picked up the photo of the Sixteen again and leaned back on the edge of the desk. He stared at the car thoughtfully, imagining his grandfather speeding down the Metropolis Freeway and flipping other drivers the bird randomly. Grandfather Leo tended to like things like that, and the idea alone would bring random smiles to Lex's face for a long time.
“What kind of engine does it have again?” Clark said, settling next to Lex and plucking the glass of tea out of his hand.
“A V16,” Lex pretended to be exasperated with Clark, but fell short with the press of Clark’s thigh against his own. His mouth went a bit dry, and he desperately wanted his tea back.
“Wow. That’s a lot of power under the hood,” Clark leaned closer so that his arm was brushing against Lex’s own.
“Yes, is it.”
“It’s kinda hot,” Clark offered, licking his lips after taking a sip of Lex’s tea.
What Lex really wanted to say was ‘You’re making me hot, may I now have my tea back?’ What came out was, “Are you telling me that a photograph of a car is making you hot?”
There was a very long pause wherein Lex averted his eyes elsewhere, mentally smacking himself around for several seconds, while Clark took yet another drink of his tea. “What I’m telling you, pervert, is that you holding the photograph of a car is making me hot.”
Clark was calling Lex a pervert? Well, yes. A pervert was still a pervert, even if he was a rich one, and hot at that. “I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted, Clark.”
“Lex...” Clark began, draining the last of the tea, and letting the ice cubes brush against his mouth. Reaching back, Clark set the glass out of harm's way before turning around and settling against Lex again. Inadvertently, or not so much so, his hand came to rest on Lex’s leg.
“I know that voice, Clark,” Lex said, his voice hitching at the way that Clark was invading his personal space.
“Do you think you might buy one too?”
“I’m sure I could be convinced to buy one depending...” Lex began, not quite sure how he was going to finish that sentence. At least he wasn’t sure until Clark rested his head on his shoulder plaintively.
“Depending on what, Lex?”
“How well you convince me.”
-Finis-
Notes:
Left: Chrysler-Daimler Mercedes Maybach 57
Right: Bentley Arnage
Middle: Cadillac Sixteen
Total amount of cars involved: between $900,000 - $1.1Million
Smallville
The Little Engine that Could
Notes: Thanks to Wendi (
happyminion) for giving Lex the best grandfather in the world: Leo. This is also a small, very early birthday gift for her because she's the best, and she gave the world Chloe/Wally“Take your time. This is an important decision, an expensive decision, I don’t want you to rush it.” Lex placed a lot of emphasis on the ‘expensive’ part of his statement. Whichever way the proverbial cake got cut, he was going to be missing several pennies from his bank account. That last thing he’d want is for them to be spent in vain.
Thirty million plus pennies was a lot no matter what your name was.
“Uh,” was Clark’s only reply, which thankfully, didn’t distress Lex. That had pretty much been Lex's reaction when his assistant had finally given him the proofs as well. They were the sort of photographs that made him wish it was his birthday.
“I know how much he likes you,” Lex glanced at Clark out the corner of his eye and grinned. “I’m sure he’d want you to be included in selecting his birthday present.”
Lex normally made important decisions alone: which car to drive, what company to bankrupt, which ex to fuck over, which socks best matched his favorite lilac shirt. Sometimes, however, he sought outside opinions. Not often, but every now and then he went looking for another voice to give him insight into the hoi polloi's collective thoughts. It amused him. And then there were occasions that he consulted Clark.
“I’m extremely impressed by the similarities of my choices,” Lex said, reaching out and straightening the edges of one of the photographs on his desk. When he tilted his head to the side the images took a distinctly phallic resemblance, as though Lex really needed more reasons to think of sex in Clark’s vicinity. Of course, the presence of the photographs didn’t hurt either. Although for the subject matter’s asking price, they would have to come with an on-call escort service to be a good investment.
“But my problem with the one on the left is that it looks a little too much like the one on the right. However, the problem with the one in the middle is that it’s American made, and you know how I feel about domestic cars.” Lex waited patiently as Clark’s mouth opened and no sound came out. It wasn’t often that Lex left Clark this speechless. Well, there had been that time with the chocolate sauce in the kitchen, but they were fully clothed for this and the staff hadn’t even been dismissed. Besides, Lex really did have to make the calls about this today if things were going to be ready in time.
“Still, I’m leaning towards the one in the middle,” he carried on as though Clark were participating in the discussion. Not that there had been a discussion, just a lot of jaw dropping and eyeball-popping. “There’s just something about it that says ‘Luthor.’ Don’t you think so, Clark?” A pause. “Clark?”
Lex was impressed. Clark’s face was completely glazed over. It reminded Lex of the first time he let Clark drive the E-Class… before that incident with the Bennett’s cat. Poor car.
“What’s this one called again?” Clark finally said, pointing to Lex’s favorite of the three.
“The Sixteen.” Lex picked up the photograph and held it at arms length. “You know, if it had come out last year, I might have bought you one for your birthday, but I guess you’ll just have to wait until they make a Seventeen.” Lex grinned, and swayed a bit when Clark pushed at him playfully.
“Is it just me, Lex, or does it look a little, well...”
“Like something out of Warrior Angel?” Lex finished. “No, it’s more like something Henry Constantinople would drive.”
“I was going to say more, um, sex-like.”
“Clark Kent, I’m shocked at the way you think. Do your parents know about your prurient outlook?” Lex's tone tried for joking and ended up somewhere around lascivious.
“I’m a seventeen year-old boy, Lex, what do you think?”
"Good point."
“What’s up with the name anyway?” Clark asked, picking up another photograph and holding it side by side with the one in Lex's hand.
“'Sixteen' for a V16 engine. That’s over 1000 horses, Clark. Almost as fast as you,” Lex threw in as Clark tried to elbow him in the ribs. ”Or maybe not.”
“I’m not a horse, Lex,” Clark shot back, only slightly indignant under the appraising glance that Lex gave him, and Lex had to concede the point. Clark was no horse, or no mere horse. He’d put any quality thoroughbred to shame, especially with legs like his.
“You really love your grandfather don’t you?” Clark asked as Lex stood up and turned around, flipping the specs for the Sixteen over so he could began scribbling instructions on the back.
“Luthors don’t love, we appreciate,” Lex corrected, straightening up and plucking the other rejected photographs out of Clark's hands and placing them in his out tray. It wouldn’t do to tempt himself any further, Lex Corp wasn’t making that much money yet. Looking up, he caught a strained look crossing Clark’s face, but it was brief enough that Lex knew he wasn’t supposed to see it.
Clark cleared his throat and pulled the spec sheet out of Lex’s hand. “Your grandfather’s chauffeur is going to have a field day, Lex.”
Lex cocked an eyebrow and pulled the picture back out of Clark’s hands. “Grandfather drives himself, Clark. Do you think I’d spend untold amounts of money so that a chauffeur could have a good time?
“What do you mean untold?”
“Conservative estimates start around three hundred thousand, but it’s a concept car, Clark. Technically, it doesn’t even have a price yet.”
“Three... concept... tech... How can you buy what doesn’t have a price, Lex?”
“A very philosophical question, young Sigmund,” Lex offered as he walked over to the trolley and poured himself a glass of something very brown. “The answer is between the people at Cadillac and my accountant,” he added.
“It’s too early to drink, Lex," Clark interjected, walking over. "Wait, Cadillac. As in Cadillac Cadillac?”
“Its iced tea,” Lex said, taking a sip and contemplating the use of mint and julep in his drinks. “And unless there’s another Cadillac I don’t know about, then yes, Clark, the Cadillac people from Detroit. The place that gave the world Marshall. It should probably be declared a natural disaster and evacuated.”
Clark stood at Lex’s elbow, his face a mask of total sincerity. “Marshall aside, are you sure you have the strength to buy an American made car, Lex? Are you sure you won’t die of shame or have your name dirtied by association?” he said, his voice incredibly even and calm until the end when his face nearly split in half with the size of his smile.
“Some things just can’t get any dirtier,” Lex replied with a sharp grin, taking another sip of tea before making his way back to the desk. Shuffling papers around, he picked up the photo of the Sixteen again and leaned back on the edge of the desk. He stared at the car thoughtfully, imagining his grandfather speeding down the Metropolis Freeway and flipping other drivers the bird randomly. Grandfather Leo tended to like things like that, and the idea alone would bring random smiles to Lex's face for a long time.
“What kind of engine does it have again?” Clark said, settling next to Lex and plucking the glass of tea out of his hand.
“A V16,” Lex pretended to be exasperated with Clark, but fell short with the press of Clark’s thigh against his own. His mouth went a bit dry, and he desperately wanted his tea back.
“Wow. That’s a lot of power under the hood,” Clark leaned closer so that his arm was brushing against Lex’s own.
“Yes, is it.”
“It’s kinda hot,” Clark offered, licking his lips after taking a sip of Lex’s tea.
What Lex really wanted to say was ‘You’re making me hot, may I now have my tea back?’ What came out was, “Are you telling me that a photograph of a car is making you hot?”
There was a very long pause wherein Lex averted his eyes elsewhere, mentally smacking himself around for several seconds, while Clark took yet another drink of his tea. “What I’m telling you, pervert, is that you holding the photograph of a car is making me hot.”
Clark was calling Lex a pervert? Well, yes. A pervert was still a pervert, even if he was a rich one, and hot at that. “I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted, Clark.”
“Lex...” Clark began, draining the last of the tea, and letting the ice cubes brush against his mouth. Reaching back, Clark set the glass out of harm's way before turning around and settling against Lex again. Inadvertently, or not so much so, his hand came to rest on Lex’s leg.
“I know that voice, Clark,” Lex said, his voice hitching at the way that Clark was invading his personal space.
“Do you think you might buy one too?”
“I’m sure I could be convinced to buy one depending...” Lex began, not quite sure how he was going to finish that sentence. At least he wasn’t sure until Clark rested his head on his shoulder plaintively.
“Depending on what, Lex?”
“How well you convince me.”
-Finis-
Notes:
Left: Chrysler-Daimler Mercedes Maybach 57
Right: Bentley Arnage
Middle: Cadillac Sixteen
Total amount of cars involved: between $900,000 - $1.1Million
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 03:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:23 am (UTC)::does happy dance::
pretty cars, phallic cars, fassssssssst cars. hee hee.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 03:35 pm (UTC)And I can't believe *I* like an American car best, either, but that is one sexy beast...
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:26 am (UTC)That was my feeling as well. I mean American-made? Ha, or you know, maybe not...
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 03:56 pm (UTC)Have I mentioned lately how much I love ComicBookGeek!Lex?
“Its iced tea,” Lex said, taking a sip and contemplating the use of mint and julep in his drinks. “And unless there’s another Cadillac I don’t know about, then yes, Clark, the Cadillac people from Detroit. The place that gave the world Marshall. It should probably be declared a natural disaster and evacuated.”
Clark stood at Lex’s elbow, his face a mask of total sincerity. “Marshall aside, are you sure you have the strength to buy an American made car, Lex? Are you sure you won’t die of shame or have your name dirtied by association?”
*giggling like a maniac*
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:28 am (UTC)Have I mentioned lately how much I love ComicBookGeek!Lex?
The engine. V16. I mean damn. I nearly had a heart-attack at the Vanquish and that has 12, but 16? Closest to flying that I'll ever get on the ground. Also, ComicBook!Lex is my weakness.
Re:
Date: 2003-01-10 11:17 am (UTC)That baby almost got me over my Enzo lust. Almost. It's perfectly acceptable to lust after more than one car, right?
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 03:56 pm (UTC)My birthday came eeeearrrrrrlllyyyyyy!
*dances more*
May I just say, Leo's going to love the Sixteen?? And yes with the random flipping of birds. I think if you'd been wrongly put away in an asylum you'd feel like being free with the finger, too. Especially on the Metropolis freeway.
I am just grinning like a fool.
And iced tea. You're playing with my heart now, Z.
This is just the cutest damned story, with enough of a hint of The Hot to make my mouth dry. Mwah!
I will love it and squeeze it and call it MINE.
*hugs you wildly*
You're so in trouble when I get out there. *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:31 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-01-10 12:05 pm (UTC)You remember way too much for a girl that parties as much as you and your brother do, girlie.
*suspicious*
But yes, sweet tea. Mmm. Born and raised in the South, sweet tea is actually a blood type, here.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 06:27 pm (UTC)oh and btw
Well, there had been that time with the chocolate sauce in the kitchen, but they were fully clothed for this and the staff hadn’t even been dismissed.
Am I the only one that wants to find out what exactly happened during this incident?
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:32 am (UTC)Every time I think about Gene Hackman getting in there with John Glover and MR my eye starts to twitch. I would put that episode on gold-tape, seriously. They so need to get with that program.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 06:59 pm (UTC)lex and clark who? lol.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:34 am (UTC)lex and clark who? lol.
Isn't it gorgeous? Newsweek even did a five page spread on the conception and building of it. I mean, whoa. It comes with silk carpets and Bvulgari clocks!... I think I shall have to write a follow-up.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 08:02 pm (UTC)Lex and Clark in a V16? ::she said even more faintly::
Excuse me, I think I need to go take a cold shower....
But not before I thank you for making me "kinda hot." I don't suppose Clark does iced tea deliveries?
In that car?
Mmm, V16....
I deleted that last post cos LJ took off without me...
Date: 2003-01-10 09:36 am (UTC)Lex and Clark in a V16? ::she said even more faintly::
Excuse me, I think I need to go take a cold shower....
As I was saying before I was so rudely cut off was... are you telling me that you're a car chick too? Just when I thought I couldn't appreciate you anymore. Whoa. ;) And yes, V16, babe, with toys. Lots o'toys.
Re: I deleted that last post cos LJ took off without me...
Date: 2003-01-12 05:06 pm (UTC)LOL! I used to know nothing about cars. Then I got married, and the Spouse began to educate me. He finds Smallville a wonderful teaching tool. *g* I'm still learning, and tutors are always welcome. *winks*
And yes, V16, babe, with toys. Lots o'toys.
Oooh, yum. I do believe you need to have Clark and Lex give us a guided tour of those toys. Oh, yes.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 08:11 pm (UTC)Bentley. Definitely the Bentley.
Or, also, I could go for just the cash...
Heh. I was waiting for you to write another carfic. So many pretty-shinies being unveiled, so much Lex-drool to play with. :).
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:38 am (UTC)Bentley. Definitely the Bentley.
Or, also, I could go for just the cash...
Heh. I was waiting for you to write another carfic. So many pretty-shinies being unveiled, so much Lex-drool to play with. :).
The Bentley? Are you mad, just look at The Sixteen! It's the second coming of the Batmobile! Coming...heh. I'm so a 15 year-old boy. Anyhoo. You know I can't stay away from the cars, and there are more, there are lots more... wheee!
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:39 am (UTC)I know, it's a dead ringer... for a phallic implement. The people that created the Batmobile were peverts ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 09:17 pm (UTC)Hot cars, pretty boys and a Leo mention. That's all you really need.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:40 am (UTC)yeah, my sentiments exactly :)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:19 am (UTC)And a beautiful site it is too, I'm glad I found it. My linking didn't do anything bad to your bandwith, did it? My apologies ahead of time if it did.
Re:
Date: 2003-01-10 10:12 am (UTC)I am glad that you liked it :-)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 02:28 pm (UTC)and this one made me very, very happy. *swoons*
Who knows WHAT sort of thing goes on in my head.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:39 pm (UTC)and this one made me very, very happy. *swoons*
Who knows WHAT sort of thing goes on in my head.
you have no interest in cars now but stick with me, i'll change that. you'll see ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 07:00 pm (UTC)Lovely stuff, honey. Thanks for posting!
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 09:40 pm (UTC)::laughs:: lex + cars = hormonal overload. trust me, i hear you.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-16 11:04 am (UTC)Mmmmmm.... Lex..... V16.......
Oh, yeah. And the fic was really cute, with a splash of sexy. (I got caught up in the cars for a minute there)