It’s like that.
Jan. 13th, 2003 09:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archive‘Once fell in love and it was a gas, soon turned out to be a pain the ass.’
- Blondie ‘Heart of Glass’
Harry Potter
Things to do When Your Lover is Dead
“And if I hurt you, then I’m sorry
Please don’t think that this was easy"
-Something Corporate ‘Konstantine’
Harry still buys enough for two at the Indian takeaway on the corner. There’s no point really, but it keeps him from going in the kitchen, or cooking, or doing anything household-related.
Domesticity is the hallmark of the well-adjusted. It’s for couples and happy people.
Harry is neither of those things, except that he knows that he and Draco were good together once.
It’s the most important thing he remembers.
And in the long run it might be easier for Harry if Draco were dead. Except he’s not.
He simply left because he couldn’t take it anymore.
Harry always thought that they were happy.
+++
In the beginning it was beautiful, except it wasn’t, and Harry and Draco weren’t an ideal couple. They never had been.
Harry was deluded.
He fell in love with an idea of love overcoming all obstacles and that carried him through for a lot longer than anyone suspected. People always thought that Draco had seduced Harry into a life of domestic bliss, but maybe Harry committed the crime. Harry had always wanted to fall in love, and Draco had always hated him. Harry thought that love and hate were so close that they might as well be the same thing. He loved Draco, and Draco loved him. Didn’t he?
Now that Harry’s alone he often wonders where they went wrong, and yet he never can bring himself to go back to the beginning.
They had fought since day one, and Harry thought that was passion. He thought that’s what made them strong, but now he’s not sure anymore, and that doubt is worse than anything else he’s ever come across.
Because if they weren’t in love, then was there ever anything between them?
+++
Harry’s had lovers since Draco. He’s had boys and men, and he’s even had a girl or too. He’s been very equal opportunity. Come one come all, it’s not as though any of them stay. It’s not as though he would actually let any of them stay even if they wanted too, but he’s never been as bothered with the Muggle thing as Draco was. Is.
Of course, Draco even got insulted when Muggles found him attractive, but it never bothered Harry.
Harry always took a certain pride in Draco’s looks, and the Muggles never knew that Draco was considered beneath Harry. All they ever saw was a beautiful man. That’s what Harry saw as well, and maybe that was part of the problem.
Draco was almost an ornament. A trophy on Harry’s arm.
To the wizarding world Draco was a symbol of all that Harry had broken and destroyed.
Maybe Draco saw it that way as well.
Perhaps Harry should have asked.
+++
It might have been the complacency that ate them from the outside in.
Harry worked, and Draco did whatever Draco did. He didn’t have to do anything at all though, and Harry thought that’s what Draco wanted. He thought that that’s what made him happy.
Draco was never the people-oriented sort. He didn’t want to get on with Harry’s friends, and he didn’t want to go out on dates. Harry never pushed him. Draco also had no interest in Muggle cinema, but he became rather fascinated with the television in a perverse sort of way.
More than once Harry caught him talking to it as though it would answer him, but looking back on it, maybe Draco was just that starved for attention.
Harry always thought that he made Draco happy. Except that as the months wore on, Draco was home more rather than less, and it was a reverse sort of sign that Harry didn’t see.
+++
Towards the end, Harry knew it was coming. Their estrangement was something he could taste in the bitterness of milk that had yet to go sour and food that always seemed either over-cooked or undone.
What Harry tasted was unhappiness. His, Draco’s, their unified confusion destroying all the good times and the memories that they had built together. The bad things tainted their flat and made the cat run away.
They had always fought, but when Draco stopped arguing, when he stopped caring, then Harry knew it was only a matter of time.
He should have tried harder, he sees that now.
+++
Harry has a wizarding photograph that was taken shortly after the war ended. Point in fact, it was taken the day they moved in together, and Mordred, wasn’t that just a day sent to test them both.
None of the furniture wanted to fit through the door, and somewhere between the Burrow where Harry had been living and the Manor which Draco had all but fled, Draco had lost his wand. To say that he was a bit put out before they started was a slight understatement.
Even after Harry shrank everything to get it through the door, and then Re-Enlarged it, the flat still looked like a tip that had been run through by a mad Hippogriff. The sofa was the only thing that hadn’t been ruined in transit, and Harry remembers he made Draco sit on the sofa while he puttered around setting everything to rights.
He had thought it was what Draco wanted. He had thought it was for the best, and then when he was done he had sat down next to an extremely surly man, kissed him on the cheek and been blissfully unaware of the tick in Draco‘s left eye.
The camera had been sitting on top of the television, and he had bewitched it beforehand to record the start of their life together.
He should have known then.
When the photograph was developed, all Harry had noticed was the glow to his own cheeks and the way Draco’s shirt was pulled to one side, showing a nice piece of his collarbone.
He had thought that was all there was to see, and he took it in to work to place on his desk.
One morning, Harry realised that the Draco in the photo wasn’t on the sofa anymore.
Harry told himself it was because he had gone off to the loo.
+++
The end didn’t come with a bang, just a whimper of Draco’s bags by the doorway and key that was on the kitchen table one morning when Harry came out the bathroom after his morning shower.
He should have known - he never liked taking showers in the first place. Harry has always been more of a bath man, except that baths always took forever and Draco had become the sort of man who said baths took up too much water.
There were bills to consider. And maybe if Harry hadn’t been so insistent about the bills and sharing. Perhaps if Harry hadn’t insisted that everything be equal and let Draco pay for dinner once in a while
Draco once complained that Harry never let him feel like a man. Except it was never about the money.
+++
When Draco left, he said it was because he couldn’t give Harry the kind of life he wanted.
Harry had always though that they were together because it was the kind of life that he needed.
Not once did he ever consider the kind of life that Draco needed.
+++
The bills have gotten out of control and Harry can’t afford to live alone anymore. He would rather move then take on a lodger though, and maybe it’s for the best. Every day he’s surrounded by things that Draco has never come back for, and bits and pieces that they picked out together.
The day they chose the flatware in Diagon Alley, Draco said they were as good as married. He had smiled, but his face had been tight, as though the idea pained him.
A divorce would at least have required paperwork, and papers would at least have been proof that there had been something there.
However, in the end, Harry had nothing.
As though Draco had never existed at all.
- Blondie ‘Heart of Glass’
Harry Potter
Things to do When Your Lover is Dead
“And if I hurt you, then I’m sorry
Please don’t think that this was easy"
-Something Corporate ‘Konstantine’
Harry still buys enough for two at the Indian takeaway on the corner. There’s no point really, but it keeps him from going in the kitchen, or cooking, or doing anything household-related.
Domesticity is the hallmark of the well-adjusted. It’s for couples and happy people.
Harry is neither of those things, except that he knows that he and Draco were good together once.
It’s the most important thing he remembers.
And in the long run it might be easier for Harry if Draco were dead. Except he’s not.
He simply left because he couldn’t take it anymore.
Harry always thought that they were happy.
+++
In the beginning it was beautiful, except it wasn’t, and Harry and Draco weren’t an ideal couple. They never had been.
Harry was deluded.
He fell in love with an idea of love overcoming all obstacles and that carried him through for a lot longer than anyone suspected. People always thought that Draco had seduced Harry into a life of domestic bliss, but maybe Harry committed the crime. Harry had always wanted to fall in love, and Draco had always hated him. Harry thought that love and hate were so close that they might as well be the same thing. He loved Draco, and Draco loved him. Didn’t he?
Now that Harry’s alone he often wonders where they went wrong, and yet he never can bring himself to go back to the beginning.
They had fought since day one, and Harry thought that was passion. He thought that’s what made them strong, but now he’s not sure anymore, and that doubt is worse than anything else he’s ever come across.
Because if they weren’t in love, then was there ever anything between them?
+++
Harry’s had lovers since Draco. He’s had boys and men, and he’s even had a girl or too. He’s been very equal opportunity. Come one come all, it’s not as though any of them stay. It’s not as though he would actually let any of them stay even if they wanted too, but he’s never been as bothered with the Muggle thing as Draco was. Is.
Of course, Draco even got insulted when Muggles found him attractive, but it never bothered Harry.
Harry always took a certain pride in Draco’s looks, and the Muggles never knew that Draco was considered beneath Harry. All they ever saw was a beautiful man. That’s what Harry saw as well, and maybe that was part of the problem.
Draco was almost an ornament. A trophy on Harry’s arm.
To the wizarding world Draco was a symbol of all that Harry had broken and destroyed.
Maybe Draco saw it that way as well.
Perhaps Harry should have asked.
+++
It might have been the complacency that ate them from the outside in.
Harry worked, and Draco did whatever Draco did. He didn’t have to do anything at all though, and Harry thought that’s what Draco wanted. He thought that that’s what made him happy.
Draco was never the people-oriented sort. He didn’t want to get on with Harry’s friends, and he didn’t want to go out on dates. Harry never pushed him. Draco also had no interest in Muggle cinema, but he became rather fascinated with the television in a perverse sort of way.
More than once Harry caught him talking to it as though it would answer him, but looking back on it, maybe Draco was just that starved for attention.
Harry always thought that he made Draco happy. Except that as the months wore on, Draco was home more rather than less, and it was a reverse sort of sign that Harry didn’t see.
+++
Towards the end, Harry knew it was coming. Their estrangement was something he could taste in the bitterness of milk that had yet to go sour and food that always seemed either over-cooked or undone.
What Harry tasted was unhappiness. His, Draco’s, their unified confusion destroying all the good times and the memories that they had built together. The bad things tainted their flat and made the cat run away.
They had always fought, but when Draco stopped arguing, when he stopped caring, then Harry knew it was only a matter of time.
He should have tried harder, he sees that now.
+++
Harry has a wizarding photograph that was taken shortly after the war ended. Point in fact, it was taken the day they moved in together, and Mordred, wasn’t that just a day sent to test them both.
None of the furniture wanted to fit through the door, and somewhere between the Burrow where Harry had been living and the Manor which Draco had all but fled, Draco had lost his wand. To say that he was a bit put out before they started was a slight understatement.
Even after Harry shrank everything to get it through the door, and then Re-Enlarged it, the flat still looked like a tip that had been run through by a mad Hippogriff. The sofa was the only thing that hadn’t been ruined in transit, and Harry remembers he made Draco sit on the sofa while he puttered around setting everything to rights.
He had thought it was what Draco wanted. He had thought it was for the best, and then when he was done he had sat down next to an extremely surly man, kissed him on the cheek and been blissfully unaware of the tick in Draco‘s left eye.
The camera had been sitting on top of the television, and he had bewitched it beforehand to record the start of their life together.
He should have known then.
When the photograph was developed, all Harry had noticed was the glow to his own cheeks and the way Draco’s shirt was pulled to one side, showing a nice piece of his collarbone.
He had thought that was all there was to see, and he took it in to work to place on his desk.
One morning, Harry realised that the Draco in the photo wasn’t on the sofa anymore.
Harry told himself it was because he had gone off to the loo.
+++
The end didn’t come with a bang, just a whimper of Draco’s bags by the doorway and key that was on the kitchen table one morning when Harry came out the bathroom after his morning shower.
He should have known - he never liked taking showers in the first place. Harry has always been more of a bath man, except that baths always took forever and Draco had become the sort of man who said baths took up too much water.
There were bills to consider. And maybe if Harry hadn’t been so insistent about the bills and sharing. Perhaps if Harry hadn’t insisted that everything be equal and let Draco pay for dinner once in a while
Draco once complained that Harry never let him feel like a man. Except it was never about the money.
+++
When Draco left, he said it was because he couldn’t give Harry the kind of life he wanted.
Harry had always though that they were together because it was the kind of life that he needed.
Not once did he ever consider the kind of life that Draco needed.
+++
The bills have gotten out of control and Harry can’t afford to live alone anymore. He would rather move then take on a lodger though, and maybe it’s for the best. Every day he’s surrounded by things that Draco has never come back for, and bits and pieces that they picked out together.
The day they chose the flatware in Diagon Alley, Draco said they were as good as married. He had smiled, but his face had been tight, as though the idea pained him.
A divorce would at least have required paperwork, and papers would at least have been proof that there had been something there.
However, in the end, Harry had nothing.
As though Draco had never existed at all.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 09:19 am (UTC)You even make me think back on my past experiences, woman. Too realistic for comfort, that *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 09:51 am (UTC)Yeah, that's kind of what I was drawing on. You know the bit where you sit around later on dissecting every thing and wondering if the whole experience ever even happened.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 09:31 am (UTC)You really are a beautiful writer... I love the terseness, the short paragraphs, the short sentences. It adds a lot to the feel of the story... here it really builds the sense of harshness. And you always end your stories on just the perfect note:
A divorce would at least have required paperwork, and papers would at least have been proof that there had been something there.
However, in the end, Harry had nothing.
As though Draco had never existed at all.
That just hurts, but in such a lovely, lovely way.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 09:52 am (UTC)You really are a beautiful writer... I love the terseness, the short paragraphs, the short sentences. It adds a lot to the feel of the story... here it really builds the sense of harshness. And you always end your stories on just the perfect note:
Thank you so much for all your kindness, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I think what I wrote about here is the common affliction that strikes most couples, the assumption that everything is all right hiding an inability to communication at all.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 09:42 am (UTC)Oh boys, communicate...
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 09:53 am (UTC)I'm just trying to broaden the range a bit, you know? Look in the bright side, at least you know I've written some happy stuff so it's not like I *always* make them suffer ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 10:00 am (UTC)Harry was deluded.
He fell in love with an idea of love overcoming all obstacles and that carried him through for a lot longer than anyone suspected. People always thought that Draco had seduced Harry into a life of domestic bliss, but maybe Harry committed the crime. Harry had always wanted to fall in love, and Draco had always hated him. Harry thought that love and hate were so close that they might as well be the same thing. He loved Draco, and Draco loved him. Didn’t he?
I love it when you reach into Harry's head and pull out the motivation that just screams of the truth. I think this is the crux of the Harry/Draco ship, hate and passion that can only turn to either a blow up and destruction, or a slow fizzle that dies without even a whimper. Today, I can't see them ever living a happy, fluffy bunny life.
Thanks ,babe.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 09:55 am (UTC)Thanks ,babe.
I'm a bit perturbed as to when Harry himself became my vehicle of choice, but you know, in for a sickle and all that. Maybe next time I'll really fuck him up ;) As for the H/D ship, I think it's nice to believe, don't get me wrong, but you know, it's not realistic. Not that this whole universe is that big on the realism, but you know ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 10:35 am (UTC)I really like this, Harry's cluelessness and willful denial of the way their relationship is falling apart, and the way you can tell that they loved each other once between the lines and the rubble of what's left. It's sparse and sad and I feel very sorry for both of the boys. Poor, sad, sad boys.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 11:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 10:39 am (UTC)A divorce would at least have required paperwork, and papers would at least have been proof that there had been something there.
However, in the end, Harry had nothing.
As though Draco had never existed at all.
So true.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 10:01 am (UTC)I'm sorry it hurt, but I hope you enjoyed it all the same :)
Hmm
Date: 2003-01-13 11:25 am (UTC)Meanwhile, the rest of us alternate between awwwing and crying...
Re: Hmm
Date: 2003-01-14 10:02 am (UTC)Meanwhile, the rest of us alternate between awwwing and crying...
It's part of our evil plot to take over the world and put everybody on Prozac and Valium ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 11:53 am (UTC)Ah, Harry/Draco. So wrong, yet so amazingly full of intrigue.
And in the long run it might be easier for Harry if Draco were dead. Except he’s not.
He simply left because he couldn’t take it anymore.
Harry always thought that they were happy.
+++
In the beginning it was beautiful, except it wasn’t, and Harry and Draco weren’t an ideal couple. They never had been.
Harry was deluded.
He fell in love with an idea of love overcoming all obstacles and that carried him through for a lot longer than anyone suspected. People always thought that Draco had seduced Harry into a life of domestic bliss, but maybe Harry committed the crime. Harry had always wanted to fall in love, and Draco had always hated him. Harry thought that love and hate were so close that they might as well be the same thing. He loved Draco, and Draco loved him. Didn’t he?
Now that Harry’s alone he often wonders where they went wrong, and yet he never can bring himself to go back to the beginning.
I love this, because it's so Harry. I mean, Harry's an incredibly nice person, and he always wants to do the good thing, but...he's so single-minded and blind sometimes. You can see it in the books, the way the characters that we see through Harry's experience can be flat, how he doesn't try to understand the Slytherins, how the other houses and students might as well not exist for the most part. I can see Harry doing this--wanting to build something good and happy, but not really paying attention to Draco's needs and...just...::wails::
Thanks for the angst. It just makes me all hurty. In the good way. (Yes, there's a good way. Don't look at me like that.)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 10:06 am (UTC)A daily dose of angst will keep you sane. ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 01:39 pm (UTC)At first I read the title and read the story with that bit of info tucked in a corner of my brain. But then as I read on, I got confused. And more confused. Is Draco really dead? Or is he just off somewhere else, doing his own thing? Or maybe the title is just named like that because Draco is 'dead' to Harry, but not physically dead.
Oh, yes, and at some point in the story (probably near the beginning), I thought this was a parallel to 'Table for Two.' You know, where instead of Harry being dead and Draco left to deal with the pieces, it is the other way around. Then I thought, is this story a sequel to that one, in a Bizarre and Twisted Kind of Way? But that can't be, since in 'Table for Two' Harry is dead. He cannot be alive to narrate 'Things to do When Your Lover is Dead.'
Wah. It is all so confusing now. But in a g00t way. I like this story. 'Table for Two' was more poignant, though. *g* Your stories are always on a different level from everyone else's. I like it. I think it is a level above. *g* And normally I would think that anyone who names his LJ 'advanced sarcasm' must be conceited. But after reading your fics, I think it really befits you. You really are advanced in some aspect of human thought. Wah. I like you.
And I have babbled on long enough. First post on your LJ and it is freakin' long. Oops. :D Heh heh. Just want to let you know that you have a fan.
-lestrange
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 10:09 am (UTC)Oh, yes, and at some point in the story (probably near the beginning), I thought this was a parallel to 'Table for Two.' You know, where instead of Harry being dead and Draco left to deal with the pieces, it is the other way around. Then I thought, is this story a sequel to that one, in a Bizarre and Twisted Kind of Way? But that can't be, since in 'Table for Two' Harry is dead. He cannot be alive to narrate 'Things to do When Your Lover is Dead.'
You've probably realised by now that both stories are stand-alones. The majority of my works tends to be that way. These two are *related*, however (as a mate of mine pointed out), and as such there's a third piece that will be coming along. It won't make sense, and it won't tie up any loose ends, but they're all part of a Worst-Case Scenario theme that I'm enjoying exploring right now.
I'm glad you enjoyed the writing. Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 10:11 am (UTC)Wow, that's harsh! I don't thinkl Draco would see it that way. Sometimes things just don't work out, and no one is to blame.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 10:12 am (UTC)It's not that Harry's a bad person. It's not that Draco's a bad person either, it's simply a case of things not working out. It happens all the time.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 01:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 10:37 pm (UTC)i wrote a whole post on all the issues... some of the issues.. but really, it's just so ... like y'know, after the music stops, and you just stand around wondering what you're doing in these dancing shoes, and why are you holding on to the waist of this stranger, and didn't you sleep with him last night. and then you're no longer even yourself.
and a part of me thinks that's not how it's supposed to be, love i mean. but then, sometimes all knowledge of what that is just slips through your fingers and it's hard to convince yourself of the things you'd believed more than anything before.
but yes, this happens. a lot. the same thing that makes them argue and get all passionate and intense-- a tension, a lack of understanding, a lack of ease with each other-- is what ultimately brings them down, in story after story (ivy's `dirty' & amy's `afterword' comes to mind). soon this'll all turn me into a platonic!h/d person. i just want true love, without all the stupid complications where you expect things to just happen because you're having sex.
although maybe wanting harry & draco to be friends is missing the point entirely. this could be true. but if that means they're just doomed to stand on their opposite sides of the divide and stare each other and then walk away (or jump and fall)...
it seems kind of destructive and wrong, like every wrong-headed relationship i've ever had or heard about.
it's always, always the silence that either burns or burns away.
but yah. i noticed you kind of saying what he should've done, and what he should've seen, the whole time, and i though you'd think it wouldn't work and be too moralistic or obvious, it wasn't. it was just kind of... a way to show how oblivious he is.
and i love how you picked all the little details-- with the shower vs the bath, and the take-out, and draco leaving the photo. it makes it seem so final and realistic. though i reassure myself saying that one day harry has to wake up and be himself again, because he doesn't give up on things like this-- or at least-- not the harry we know. this is just the scenario where every time something went wrong, he pretended it didn't, so it just got worse. which is realistic, but harry is braver than that. isn't he?
i guess i'm not sure ><
i want to believe that understanding is just part of love, but i know it isn't. sometimes you just fall in love with an idea you have of the other person, that is really -you- and not them. and our whole hope for h/d always rested on it being the -truth-, that they see -each other-, otherwise, yes, it's all for nothing, really, isn't it.
but in a way, this is also the easy way out, just like saying, "but they're soulmates! they complete each other! this isn't right!"
love takes all sorts of loops and turns and it comes back around, it just doesn't really go away, if it's real. and it's easy to think that it's just the words that are real, and without them, there's no communication and no relationship... but like... even harry would notice if it wasn't the same when they kissed, wouldn't he?
but you made this real. it -is- real. i'm just dissembling, as always, refusing to bow down and be defeated by the angst ><;;
*laughs*
~reena
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 10:27 am (UTC)love takes all sorts of loops and turns and it comes back around, it just doesn't really go away, if it's real. and it's easy to think that it's just the words that are real, and without them, there's no communication and no relationship... but like... even harry would notice if it wasn't the same when they kissed, wouldn't he?
but you made this real. it -is- real. i'm just dissembling, as always, refusing to bow down and be defeated by the angst ><;
I'm reading this, and I'm thinking that maybe I should have answered you before I answered the other posts because I've pretty much answered everything here in bits and pieces to lots of other people. But you know, cos it's you... ;)
I think my take on this is like Rabbit said earlier, the foundation of H/D is inherently flawed because we know how messed up we are. We know how much they don't like other and to assume that they'll just get over that and turn into fluff bunnies, you know, no. And yes, just like you, I want them to be happy, but that very well may not happen if they're together; and I think that's what I was trying to say with this piece. Of course you always like to think that you would notice if something was wrong with your lover, and that they would talk to you and you could work it out. But you know, that's being exceedingly optimistic (i don't call you the h/d optimist for nothing) and most people just don't do that. The majority of people in the world are not forth-coming or forgiving, and their communications skills suck. Not to put too fine a point on it. But such is life.
And as for love, yes, it - apparently - can be this great and wonderful thing that inspires hope and wars and songs and buildings, but it also inspires insanity and bloodshed. How perfect an emotion makes you want to kill someone - or yourself - when they don't return it? And yes, love may be a nice thing, but there are lots of people who don't want to be complete or maybe don't need to be. I'm sure there are plenty of people in the world that get by just fine without it. And as for love never dying, maybe it doesn't, but love doesn't have to pick up the dirty socks or put down the toilet seat. Love is a brilliant ideal, but it doesn't have to exist in the every day humdrum, you know? It may not go away, but it's a bitch to live with.
What issues? Me?
no subject
Date: 2003-01-14 03:22 pm (UTC)*feels special*
hee. yah. i mean, i know `the reality' mostly doesn't live up to my ideals. and i -know- that harry & draco aren't the most... er... easy of characters to pair happily. but i, for one, don't see the point of believing in something that you really think can't work.
that's just weird, isn't it?~:)
and naturally, there's a large possibility it -can't-. it's that way with all things. they fall apart much more readily than they stay together, or even more unusual, build.
but it happens, too.
the whole debate is, in a way, silly, since a short story can't begin to take on all the ramifications and possibilities of such a contradictory relationship. it's a sign of how good your writing is that i can even lay all this baggage on it and it seems to be able to absorb it ^^
and yah, people's communication skills suck. harry & draco's more than most people's, even. but i dunno. even if you fail... i believe a strong emotion, even a flawed one, would keep you trying. because you just wouldn't be able to let go.
they don't call it an addiction for nothing.
a part of me hopes that they're not so dense that they can't learn. i want to see that sometime. that's why i believe in harry/draco. because i believe people can grow, and learn from one another.
they don't have to become fluffy bunnies, but maybe they can just become more honest, and that's all i'm asking for. love would take care of the rest. well, that and having an occupation, to take the edge off boredom ><;;
maybe in "real life" things don't work most of the time and people give up most of the time, but see....
harry & draco aren't just another couple, to me anyway. the need for completion isn't a question, for them-- to me anyway. it's kind of clear they -do-, or they -could-, and if they got together it'd be just who they are...
maybe the mistake is always trying to get them to be domestic, assuming they would be, even though it's wrong for them, say.
why can't they just... meet each other? once a month, once in two years, twice in a week, randomly? why can't they keep being drawn to each other, and repelled at the same time?
why can't they only live together when they're ready, if they ever are?
it's us who's forcing them into this domesticity, in story after story... because it doesn't work for a -lot- of people, and for harry & draco, it's even less likely to work because their relationship "isn't like that".
i guess... there are options beyond "happy bunnies" and "unhappy enemy-lovers"
well. one would hope ><;;