Oh, the slashiness (Unbeta'd drabble)
Jan. 20th, 2003 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveI have a meeting in about 16 hours. I should be in bed, but you know, Everwood. Oh, the slashiness.
And yes, Amy, Colin likes Ephram cos he’s pretty. Deal.
Everwood
Everything is new for Colin. Not ‘new’ in the tags-from-the-store way, but more in the rediscovery way. In the 'chance to start all over again' way. Everyday it’s something else: the roughness of the sheets on his bed or the scratchiness of the collar on his letterman jacket. He found out last week that he's right-handed, and even his writing is new. He doesn’t like it that much though, it seems very sloppy.
He thinks he should try and correct that.
Colin’s famous for feats he doesn’t remember, and he has letters for a sport he knows nothing about. Watching 'the game' on Sunday has to yet to sink in as a mandatory habit, and football kind of bores him. But he’s got this paralytic arm, so he doesn’t have to fake otherwise just yet.
He’s been doing a lot of faking recently.
His parents, Amy, Bright, they all have these expectations of him, and Colin knows he can’t meet them. He thinks he'll never meet them, and he's not sure he wants to.
Colin hates it that these people expect things of him, when really, they’ve never done anything for him at all. They just seem to stare a lot. Too many eyes on him, and their hands always seem to twitch as though they want to rearrange him. Everyone pushing and prying, and why should they expect something of him when they do nothing in return but bother him and talk about someone who he used to be?
Colin doesn’t know this person that he used to be, and for all he knows he might have been a huge ass.
Okay, so if all these people who come up to him in the hallway are to be believed then he was never that big of an ass, but maybe they didn’t know.
He can’t trust them.
He can’t trust his parents either. Yes, they’ve been great, but they’re sitting around waiting for him to remember, and he just doesn’t. He can’t. And they keep stressing him, and Amy is stressing him too. Colin can tell she doesn’t mean to, but sometimes he’ll catch her looking at him sideways, and he’ll want to yell at her to go away. To stop looking at him like she knows him. No one knows him.
Colin doesn’t even know himself.
He doesn’t know what his favorite ice cream is, even though his mom says it’s Ben and Jerry’s Mint Oreo. He doesn’t remember Saturday afternoon's at the lake or hiking in the mountains. Colin has no memories of driving to school with Bright every morning for however long, but Bright keeps acting like he does. Bright keeps acting like he and Colin are so close, but Colin doesn't feel it. And he's not sure if he wants to be close to Bright because Bright is kind of dim, and sometimes he seems cruel.
Not that he’s ever been mean to Colin, on the contrary Bright’s done nothing but be really nice. Almost too nice. Sometimes Bright touches Colin and Colin has to pull away, because he may not know much, but he doesn’t think Bright’s supposed to touch his hand or the back of his neck. Those seem like the sort of things that Amy’s supposed to do, only Colin doesn’t want her to do them either. But the thing that really bothers Colin about Bright is the way he mistreats Ephram.
Colin likes Ephram because he doesn’t have any expectations of him at all. Colin likes that a lot, and Ephram doesn’t talk to him about sports and starting line-ups. He doesn’t bother Colin about dances and dates and keggers by the river. Ephram just talks about whatever, about the weather or his bike or comic books. Colin doesn’t even know if he likes comic books. But if Ephram likes them then he’s willing to find out, and to Colin that’s what friendship should be about: discovery and discussion and doing things together.
Not Colin and Bright, but Colin and Ephram.
Colin wants to do things with Ephram because he’s so uncomplicated. Everything is so easy with them, but sometimes, when they're alone, Colin wants to touch Ephram’s hand or the nape of his neck. And then Colin has to stop himself, because he doesn’t want to be like those other people in his life.
There's so much awkwardness everyday for Colin, and he doesn’t want Ephram to treat him the way Colin's treating everyone else.
Colin doesn’t want to have expectations of Ephram only to find out that Ephram's not who he wants him to be.
And yes, Amy, Colin likes Ephram cos he’s pretty. Deal.
Everwood
Everything is new for Colin. Not ‘new’ in the tags-from-the-store way, but more in the rediscovery way. In the 'chance to start all over again' way. Everyday it’s something else: the roughness of the sheets on his bed or the scratchiness of the collar on his letterman jacket. He found out last week that he's right-handed, and even his writing is new. He doesn’t like it that much though, it seems very sloppy.
He thinks he should try and correct that.
Colin’s famous for feats he doesn’t remember, and he has letters for a sport he knows nothing about. Watching 'the game' on Sunday has to yet to sink in as a mandatory habit, and football kind of bores him. But he’s got this paralytic arm, so he doesn’t have to fake otherwise just yet.
He’s been doing a lot of faking recently.
His parents, Amy, Bright, they all have these expectations of him, and Colin knows he can’t meet them. He thinks he'll never meet them, and he's not sure he wants to.
Colin hates it that these people expect things of him, when really, they’ve never done anything for him at all. They just seem to stare a lot. Too many eyes on him, and their hands always seem to twitch as though they want to rearrange him. Everyone pushing and prying, and why should they expect something of him when they do nothing in return but bother him and talk about someone who he used to be?
Colin doesn’t know this person that he used to be, and for all he knows he might have been a huge ass.
Okay, so if all these people who come up to him in the hallway are to be believed then he was never that big of an ass, but maybe they didn’t know.
He can’t trust them.
He can’t trust his parents either. Yes, they’ve been great, but they’re sitting around waiting for him to remember, and he just doesn’t. He can’t. And they keep stressing him, and Amy is stressing him too. Colin can tell she doesn’t mean to, but sometimes he’ll catch her looking at him sideways, and he’ll want to yell at her to go away. To stop looking at him like she knows him. No one knows him.
Colin doesn’t even know himself.
He doesn’t know what his favorite ice cream is, even though his mom says it’s Ben and Jerry’s Mint Oreo. He doesn’t remember Saturday afternoon's at the lake or hiking in the mountains. Colin has no memories of driving to school with Bright every morning for however long, but Bright keeps acting like he does. Bright keeps acting like he and Colin are so close, but Colin doesn't feel it. And he's not sure if he wants to be close to Bright because Bright is kind of dim, and sometimes he seems cruel.
Not that he’s ever been mean to Colin, on the contrary Bright’s done nothing but be really nice. Almost too nice. Sometimes Bright touches Colin and Colin has to pull away, because he may not know much, but he doesn’t think Bright’s supposed to touch his hand or the back of his neck. Those seem like the sort of things that Amy’s supposed to do, only Colin doesn’t want her to do them either. But the thing that really bothers Colin about Bright is the way he mistreats Ephram.
Colin likes Ephram because he doesn’t have any expectations of him at all. Colin likes that a lot, and Ephram doesn’t talk to him about sports and starting line-ups. He doesn’t bother Colin about dances and dates and keggers by the river. Ephram just talks about whatever, about the weather or his bike or comic books. Colin doesn’t even know if he likes comic books. But if Ephram likes them then he’s willing to find out, and to Colin that’s what friendship should be about: discovery and discussion and doing things together.
Not Colin and Bright, but Colin and Ephram.
Colin wants to do things with Ephram because he’s so uncomplicated. Everything is so easy with them, but sometimes, when they're alone, Colin wants to touch Ephram’s hand or the nape of his neck. And then Colin has to stop himself, because he doesn’t want to be like those other people in his life.
There's so much awkwardness everyday for Colin, and he doesn’t want Ephram to treat him the way Colin's treating everyone else.
Colin doesn’t want to have expectations of Ephram only to find out that Ephram's not who he wants him to be.
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Re:
Date: 2003-01-21 11:52 am (UTC)