Make hay not war.
Feb. 17th, 2003 09:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveRead The Super Bullet Sneeze by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bexless. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pass out.
::Yellow Alert::
Pointless Sap Ahead! Go back! Go back!
Happy Belated Birthday,pastiche
Smallville
They say a secret is some thing you tell one other person, so I’m telling you a secret
-U2 ‘The Fly’
“I’m gay,” is Clark’s grand announcement on the day of his high school graduation.
Lex doesn’t even blink.
It’s six forty-five in the morning, and graduation isn’t until three in the afternoon. Lex has never been a morning person, no matter how good a farmer he could have made once upon another timeline. Point in fact, Lex could barely remember how to put on his robe when Enrique announced that young Master Kent was at the door and should he show him to the sitting room.
Lex isn’t sure what he told Enrique to do, but he suspects it might have had something to do with a pool cue and places the sun doesn’t shine.
If it were anyone else, Lex wouldn’t have bothered, but of course, it’s Clark, and Lex is crazy about Clark. Or perhaps just crazy period. Nevertheless, Lex has the distinct impression that the cook is sniggering at him when he stumbles into the kitchen with Clark fast on his heels.
He can’t bring himself to care, even though the glare he shoots her is enough to make her scamper out the room.
Once he pours himself his first cup of coffee, things begin to move a bit faster. Although anything faster than inertia is warp speed to Lex right now. His brain may have companies to terrorize and fertilizer to sell, but his brain is still in bed, wrapped up in brushed flannel sheets and dreaming about wearing purple to its inauguration. Plus, shooting up coffee in front of the still impressionable Clark would be wrong, so Lex‘s caffeine fix hasn‘t kicked in. Ergo, he’s useless.
Clark could be talking about the downfall of Western Civilization and little green men invading, and Lex wouldn’t know.
Correction: Lex wouldn’t care.
However, Lex is nothing if not a gentleman, even when his robe is falling open and he has an insatiable urge to scratch himself in places he tries to only abuse privately. So he listens to Clark’s chatter, nods his head appropriately and picks up the salt instead of the sugar. It’s only when Clark stops him that he realizes that he’s about to make a mistake. He smiles sleepily, and picks up the correct canister, dumping a very unhealthy amount of unrefined sugar in his coffee. Stirring his coffee with his finger, Lex’s mind tries to turn over the events of the last five minutes.
Clark is gay.
It’s certainly not the declaration that he’s has been hoping for, or even waiting for. As far as jaw-dropping news goes this places somewhere above the cook running out of Lex’s favorite mustard and just below getting a scratch on his latest car.
It’s a good statement though, and it’s obvious that it means a lot to Clark. Lex should say something.
“That’s nice,” he replies blandly, brushing by Clark to pick up The Financial Times before dropping into a chair at the table. The paper looks even more orange than normal this morning, and Lex still has sleep in the corner of his eyes. It takes him until page four to realize there’s a noticeable lack of footsteps retreating.
When Lex finally glances up, Clark is still there waiting, eyes the size of dinner plates.
He chuckles around a mouthful of coffee despite himself, and nods at the chair across from him in invitation.
He should be nice to Clark on his big day after all.
At the very least he’ll never have to hear about Lana Lang again.
*
Lex bangs his hand on the nightstand when the phone rings at 4:57 a.m. on the morning of Clark’s college graduation. He’s loathe to answer the phone considering that he only got in bed two hours ago, but the world doesn’t stop just because one CEO went out and got drunk with his best friend.
“I’m an alien,” the voice on the other end confesses without the hint of an alcoholic slur. Lex knows what he’s heard, but it takes him three tries to put the phone to his ear correctly so it takes a bit longer for him to respond.
Something tells him it’s not the triple shots of Jagermeister talking.
He speaks slowly more for his own benefit than Clark’s.
“You’re an alien,’ he repeats back not expecting confirmation on something he’s known for years anyway.
“Yes.”
Clark sounds more nervous than anything else, and Lex has to bite his lip to keep from laughing hysterically. Clark is a gay alien, and Lex couldn‘t fall for some nice, bisexual rent boy from this planet, could he? Of course not, because that‘s not what the ‘special‘ kids do. “That’s nice,” he says, struggling to sit up, but thinking better of it when the room starts to defy the laws of gravity. It hurts even more when he slumps back down and bangs his head on the headboard.
“Lex?”
“Your timing really sucks,” he mutters, trying to soothe his head and remember how to talk when he has vodka-induced cottonmouth.
“I’m sorry I didn‘t tell you sooner.”
Lex can hear something creaking in the background, and he has visions of some poor man’s Porsche turning into a sardine can. “I’m sorry I bothered you at five in the morning too, I just. I really needed to tell you, because all night long you kept talking about starting a new chapter in my life, and I couldn’t do that without. You know, without telling you about me.”
“Clark, don’t be silly. You’re not bothering me, you could never bother me.” Lex’s voice trails off at the end as the implications of what Clark’s said finally begin to sink in. It’s a lot to take on a stomach that’s already exceeded maximum alcoholic capacity. He could really use a drink.
“Are you mad?
“Why would I be mad, Clark?” Apart from the obvious.
There’s a very long pause, and Lex would love to think he’s passed out on his sofa and will wake up in the morning with a hangover and drool seeping into the leather. Of course that would be the easy way out, and Lex has learned that if nothing else, life with Clark Kent is not easy. “Yes, I’m mad. No, it won’t last forever, but can we talk about this when I’m not dead drunk and hoping the world will stop so I can get off?”
“Yeah, sure.”
If Lex ever heard the sound of dejection that would be it. A voice in the back of his mind says that it serves Clark right. He’s about to hang up, when he thinks twice and calls Clark’s name. The question is out, even though Lex doesn‘t remember having the thought. “How about dinner after graduation?”
*
“I’m in love with you,” is the bombshell that Superman drops after he stops a landslide in Bolivia, a tsunami in Hawaii and a kidnapping attempt on the head of Lex Corp all between the ten and eleven o’clock evening news.
Thankfully, this time it’s just another day without any social significance to Clark Kent. Or not.
There are many things that Lex wants to say, but there’s a very distinct breeze when one is clutching a bonafide superhero and flying over Metropolis. The whole experience is making Lex’s ears numb, and he can’t help but burrow his head in Clark’s neck in a way that is distinctly uninspiring confidence wise.
“Do you think you could have prevaricated just a bit longer?“ is what Lex thinks, but he’s a bit taken aback when Clark’s chest starts shaking like he’s laughing uncontrollably. Lex is too old to be thinking aloud, so instead he holds on a bit tighter and sets his jaw in the Luthor Line of Non-amusedness.
It’s only when they touch down on the balcony of his penthouse, that Lex pokes Clark in the ribs. “What were you laughing about, Superdork?” he says, not actually attempting to break free of Clark’s embrace.
“I’ve been trying to tell you this for years, Lex.”
Clark really does look good in primary colors, but the spandex. That’s asking for more restraint that any one man could ever have. Lex has been dying to grope Clark in this costume for ages; instead, he goes for a glare and winds up somewhat short because of the earnest expression on Clark’s face. “You couldn’t have just said so?”
“What do you think all those confessions were about?”
“Oh,” is the only sound to escape Lex’s lips. He hates it when he can’t find the proper smart-ass remark. He hates it when… he can’t remember what he hates when Clark is nuzzling his neck like this.
“The papers will never believe it.” Clark nips at Lex’s ear, and Lex would swear on his stock that he doesn’t groan. That loud. “Lex Luthor at a loss for words.”
“Shut up, Daily Planet brat.” Lex goes to thump Clark in the chest and winds up molesting the garish ’S’ instead. It’s a sad day for teenyboppers everywhere, because as far as Lex is concerned Clark Kent and Superman and Superdork are all now officially spoken for.
He pulls away slightly, and blinks rapidly at the happiness that Clark radiates. He put that there. Maybe it’s an alien thing. “Are you going to kiss me sometime this century, or do I have to wait for the next Ill-Timed Clark Kent Confession for that?”
Clark releases his hold on Lex, and for a horrifying moment Lex thinks that maybe Clark is taking him seriously. At least until Clark cups his face and kisses him the way that Lex has always wanted, but done his best not to dream about.
It’s the sort of kiss with nothing in the middle of it, nothing behind it. Just a kiss between two people honestly in love.
It feels clean, like there’s nothing left to hide.
-finis-
Notes: Happy Belated Birthday, Cat. *g*
bexless. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pass out.::Yellow Alert::
Pointless Sap Ahead! Go back! Go back!
Happy Belated Birthday,
pasticheSmallville
They say a secret is some thing you tell one other person, so I’m telling you a secret
-U2 ‘The Fly’
“I’m gay,” is Clark’s grand announcement on the day of his high school graduation.
Lex doesn’t even blink.
It’s six forty-five in the morning, and graduation isn’t until three in the afternoon. Lex has never been a morning person, no matter how good a farmer he could have made once upon another timeline. Point in fact, Lex could barely remember how to put on his robe when Enrique announced that young Master Kent was at the door and should he show him to the sitting room.
Lex isn’t sure what he told Enrique to do, but he suspects it might have had something to do with a pool cue and places the sun doesn’t shine.
If it were anyone else, Lex wouldn’t have bothered, but of course, it’s Clark, and Lex is crazy about Clark. Or perhaps just crazy period. Nevertheless, Lex has the distinct impression that the cook is sniggering at him when he stumbles into the kitchen with Clark fast on his heels.
He can’t bring himself to care, even though the glare he shoots her is enough to make her scamper out the room.
Once he pours himself his first cup of coffee, things begin to move a bit faster. Although anything faster than inertia is warp speed to Lex right now. His brain may have companies to terrorize and fertilizer to sell, but his brain is still in bed, wrapped up in brushed flannel sheets and dreaming about wearing purple to its inauguration. Plus, shooting up coffee in front of the still impressionable Clark would be wrong, so Lex‘s caffeine fix hasn‘t kicked in. Ergo, he’s useless.
Clark could be talking about the downfall of Western Civilization and little green men invading, and Lex wouldn’t know.
Correction: Lex wouldn’t care.
However, Lex is nothing if not a gentleman, even when his robe is falling open and he has an insatiable urge to scratch himself in places he tries to only abuse privately. So he listens to Clark’s chatter, nods his head appropriately and picks up the salt instead of the sugar. It’s only when Clark stops him that he realizes that he’s about to make a mistake. He smiles sleepily, and picks up the correct canister, dumping a very unhealthy amount of unrefined sugar in his coffee. Stirring his coffee with his finger, Lex’s mind tries to turn over the events of the last five minutes.
Clark is gay.
It’s certainly not the declaration that he’s has been hoping for, or even waiting for. As far as jaw-dropping news goes this places somewhere above the cook running out of Lex’s favorite mustard and just below getting a scratch on his latest car.
It’s a good statement though, and it’s obvious that it means a lot to Clark. Lex should say something.
“That’s nice,” he replies blandly, brushing by Clark to pick up The Financial Times before dropping into a chair at the table. The paper looks even more orange than normal this morning, and Lex still has sleep in the corner of his eyes. It takes him until page four to realize there’s a noticeable lack of footsteps retreating.
When Lex finally glances up, Clark is still there waiting, eyes the size of dinner plates.
He chuckles around a mouthful of coffee despite himself, and nods at the chair across from him in invitation.
He should be nice to Clark on his big day after all.
At the very least he’ll never have to hear about Lana Lang again.
*
Lex bangs his hand on the nightstand when the phone rings at 4:57 a.m. on the morning of Clark’s college graduation. He’s loathe to answer the phone considering that he only got in bed two hours ago, but the world doesn’t stop just because one CEO went out and got drunk with his best friend.
“I’m an alien,” the voice on the other end confesses without the hint of an alcoholic slur. Lex knows what he’s heard, but it takes him three tries to put the phone to his ear correctly so it takes a bit longer for him to respond.
Something tells him it’s not the triple shots of Jagermeister talking.
He speaks slowly more for his own benefit than Clark’s.
“You’re an alien,’ he repeats back not expecting confirmation on something he’s known for years anyway.
“Yes.”
Clark sounds more nervous than anything else, and Lex has to bite his lip to keep from laughing hysterically. Clark is a gay alien, and Lex couldn‘t fall for some nice, bisexual rent boy from this planet, could he? Of course not, because that‘s not what the ‘special‘ kids do. “That’s nice,” he says, struggling to sit up, but thinking better of it when the room starts to defy the laws of gravity. It hurts even more when he slumps back down and bangs his head on the headboard.
“Lex?”
“Your timing really sucks,” he mutters, trying to soothe his head and remember how to talk when he has vodka-induced cottonmouth.
“I’m sorry I didn‘t tell you sooner.”
Lex can hear something creaking in the background, and he has visions of some poor man’s Porsche turning into a sardine can. “I’m sorry I bothered you at five in the morning too, I just. I really needed to tell you, because all night long you kept talking about starting a new chapter in my life, and I couldn’t do that without. You know, without telling you about me.”
“Clark, don’t be silly. You’re not bothering me, you could never bother me.” Lex’s voice trails off at the end as the implications of what Clark’s said finally begin to sink in. It’s a lot to take on a stomach that’s already exceeded maximum alcoholic capacity. He could really use a drink.
“Are you mad?
“Why would I be mad, Clark?” Apart from the obvious.
There’s a very long pause, and Lex would love to think he’s passed out on his sofa and will wake up in the morning with a hangover and drool seeping into the leather. Of course that would be the easy way out, and Lex has learned that if nothing else, life with Clark Kent is not easy. “Yes, I’m mad. No, it won’t last forever, but can we talk about this when I’m not dead drunk and hoping the world will stop so I can get off?”
“Yeah, sure.”
If Lex ever heard the sound of dejection that would be it. A voice in the back of his mind says that it serves Clark right. He’s about to hang up, when he thinks twice and calls Clark’s name. The question is out, even though Lex doesn‘t remember having the thought. “How about dinner after graduation?”
*
“I’m in love with you,” is the bombshell that Superman drops after he stops a landslide in Bolivia, a tsunami in Hawaii and a kidnapping attempt on the head of Lex Corp all between the ten and eleven o’clock evening news.
Thankfully, this time it’s just another day without any social significance to Clark Kent. Or not.
There are many things that Lex wants to say, but there’s a very distinct breeze when one is clutching a bonafide superhero and flying over Metropolis. The whole experience is making Lex’s ears numb, and he can’t help but burrow his head in Clark’s neck in a way that is distinctly uninspiring confidence wise.
“Do you think you could have prevaricated just a bit longer?“ is what Lex thinks, but he’s a bit taken aback when Clark’s chest starts shaking like he’s laughing uncontrollably. Lex is too old to be thinking aloud, so instead he holds on a bit tighter and sets his jaw in the Luthor Line of Non-amusedness.
It’s only when they touch down on the balcony of his penthouse, that Lex pokes Clark in the ribs. “What were you laughing about, Superdork?” he says, not actually attempting to break free of Clark’s embrace.
“I’ve been trying to tell you this for years, Lex.”
Clark really does look good in primary colors, but the spandex. That’s asking for more restraint that any one man could ever have. Lex has been dying to grope Clark in this costume for ages; instead, he goes for a glare and winds up somewhat short because of the earnest expression on Clark’s face. “You couldn’t have just said so?”
“What do you think all those confessions were about?”
“Oh,” is the only sound to escape Lex’s lips. He hates it when he can’t find the proper smart-ass remark. He hates it when… he can’t remember what he hates when Clark is nuzzling his neck like this.
“The papers will never believe it.” Clark nips at Lex’s ear, and Lex would swear on his stock that he doesn’t groan. That loud. “Lex Luthor at a loss for words.”
“Shut up, Daily Planet brat.” Lex goes to thump Clark in the chest and winds up molesting the garish ’S’ instead. It’s a sad day for teenyboppers everywhere, because as far as Lex is concerned Clark Kent and Superman and Superdork are all now officially spoken for.
He pulls away slightly, and blinks rapidly at the happiness that Clark radiates. He put that there. Maybe it’s an alien thing. “Are you going to kiss me sometime this century, or do I have to wait for the next Ill-Timed Clark Kent Confession for that?”
Clark releases his hold on Lex, and for a horrifying moment Lex thinks that maybe Clark is taking him seriously. At least until Clark cups his face and kisses him the way that Lex has always wanted, but done his best not to dream about.
It’s the sort of kiss with nothing in the middle of it, nothing behind it. Just a kiss between two people honestly in love.
It feels clean, like there’s nothing left to hide.
-finis-
Notes: Happy Belated Birthday, Cat. *g*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 10:14 am (UTC)Secondly, WOO! It's not pointless, man! It's brilliant! i have the biggest, goofiest grin on my face. There are so many excellent, lines, I'm having problems picking out just one!
I love the whole drunk!Lex bit, co si have a big soft spot for drunk!Lex.
And this:
Once he pours himself his first cup of coffee, things begin to move a bit faster. Although anything faster than inertia is warp speed to Lex right now. His brain may have companies to terrorize and fertilizer to sell, but his brain is still in bed, wrapped up in brushed flannel sheets and dreaming about wearing purple to its inauguration. Plus, shooting up coffee in front of the still impressionable Clark would be wrong, so Lex‘s caffeine fix hasn‘t kicked in. Ergo, he’s useless.
I just *love* that bit. I actually clapped my hands with glee. Yes, you did just read that.
Funny and sweet and oh-so romantic. Plus, your Lex, as always, kicks ass. i love him. I love you. Thank you for sharing.
*goes to re read*
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 12:49 pm (UTC)Funny and sweet and oh-so romantic. Plus, your Lex, as always, kicks ass. i love him. I love you. Thank you for sharing.
Well, considering how happy you made me with The Super Bullet Sneeze, it's the very least I can do. Truly, that story made my entire week. It was priceless *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 10:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 12:50 pm (UTC)Coffee is the world's great equalizer. It shows people as they really are. Or maybe that's alcohol. Hmmm.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 10:36 am (UTC)I love you because you're so nakedly honest *about* love. And it's not all flowery declarations with you or fast-hot-hard sex: it's slow, affectionate, and longing, which is the truth anyway and every person under the age of eighteen on ff.net needs to fucking get that through their skulls. I love how you write them, so casually, because they're *friends* first and *lovers* organically and it's all going to come together eventually so why rush and miss all the scenery?
I love how Lex doesn't *snap* to attention or collapse in lust and I love how you write your characters with such an incredible *gracefulness* that really speaks of how much you (a) respect and (b) feel them. I love how you write supposedly-pointless things and teach me more about writing things with a passion and flair than all my years of classes and all the bullying English professors in the world ever could?
And mostly? I love this line:
Clark sounds more nervous than anything else, and Lex has to bite his lip to keep from laughing hysterically. Clark is a gay alien, and Lex couldn‘t fall for some nice, bisexual rent boy from this planet, could he? Of course not, because that‘s not what the ‘special‘ kids do.
And in case I haven't made my point: you're a goddess, Zahra. *prostrates*
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 12:55 pm (UTC)I can't claim to know a lot about a lot of things, or even a little about a lot of things, I just tend to write what I *think* so it means a lot of me that you get something out of it. That you enjoy as well, that's like a big cherry on top. Although, IMO cherries are only good for practicing that tongue tying trick. Which I can do. Yes, thank you, I am all about the randomness. *g*
Re:
Date: 2003-02-18 01:11 pm (UTC)*gasp* We are brethren! I can do it, too!
I forced myself to learn at one of those interminable family dinners in a big, loud restaurant. I tell yah, no one gives you more *interesting* looks than when you single-handedly polish off a bowl of cherries and look like a four year old got into her mother's lipstick when you're uh...sixteen and showing everyone cherry stem knots.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 10:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 12:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 10:57 am (UTC)So much love for you, Z darling.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 12:58 pm (UTC)So much love for you, Z darling.
Right back atcha. *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:00 pm (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you :)
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 11:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:02 pm (UTC)Wuv. Twue wuv. What? I was watching The Princess Bride the other day *vbg*
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 11:39 am (UTC)“What do you think all those confessions were about?”
For all his smarts, I loved that he was clueless here...What a perfectly wonderful story to cuddle up with in this stupid blizzard!
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:03 pm (UTC)I miss the snow! In an abstract, 'I'm only saying that cos it's 65 here' type way. *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:21 pm (UTC)Ya know...I'm just over at DenialCorp reccing On Something Like Being Single and reveling in my Zahra love (have I mentioned I can barely lift my arms to move the mouse because it's so sore from shoveling?)and you go and say this and while I still love you...I'm right now wishing I could throw snowballs across the country. *growls*
Re:
Date: 2003-02-18 01:26 pm (UTC)I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner but work called and then this thing just kinda like happened. But apart from all that I meant to tell you that my IM is, well, non-existent since the majority of my computer time is spent at work. Trippy, I know, I can write stories all day long but can't IM. ::shakes head::
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 11:45 am (UTC)I agree with Pru's description of the way you write about *love,* too. *nods*
}:)
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:05 pm (UTC)Yeah, that's one of my favorite bits as well, the stirring with the finger. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thank you *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 12:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:06 pm (UTC)::hugs::
sigh
Date: 2003-02-17 12:26 pm (UTC)I love it. I am smiling to myself at work. Luckily no one can see. hee
snailÓ
Re: sigh
Date: 2003-02-18 01:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 12:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:11 pm (UTC)::nods head::
i understand completely.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 12:54 pm (UTC)“I’ve been trying to tell you this for years, Lex.”
because clark says 'i love you' with everything he does, and lex know, but he just doesn't believe it. he needs to see clark through your words more often.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:15 pm (UTC)“I’ve been trying to tell you this for years, Lex.”
because clark says 'i love you' with everything he does, and lex know, but he just doesn't believe it. he needs to see clark through your words more often.
I'm not a big follower of the 'i woke up gay' school of economics. Of course, I think Lex could convince me that jumping off the brooklyn bridge was an excellent idea, but I guess I think it insults the characters a bit when it becomes way too easy. I mean yeah, okay, if they're just trying to get laid, sure, but based on what they've shown us this season I think there's a whole lot of issues being created that aren't going to be improved by a blow job. Not that there's anything wrong with the all-purpose bj though.
did that make sense at all?
Re:
Date: 2003-02-18 03:49 pm (UTC)yeah, it did *g*. and i'd even add the 'not gay, just you' theory as a course at the 'i woke up gay' school.
there needs to be more than two dicks touching to make me buy a relationship.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 01:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:17 pm (UTC)::points to your icon:: Ha! another person with the Everwood love. I've been ignoring Bright recently, but with last night's revelation, I may have to rectify that.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 04:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:18 pm (UTC)Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed this.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 05:04 pm (UTC)At the very least he’ll never have to hear about Lana Lang again.
Ahahahahaha. *thumbs up* Right on.
And then there's just love confessions and clutching and cuteness, and oh, it's just lovely. Excellent stuff, as usual.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:22 pm (UTC)I am so happy you liked it, Sara. I know I need to get a new opening line, but it's TRUE! See that's the thing about telling the truth, it always sounds funny. I digress. I like this too. I like the gradualness of it, I think. Who knows. I have no idea why I write this stuff, I just do. Where is my story, dude?
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 05:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:27 pm (UTC)When I was writing this, Superdork just popped up and I was like, 'oh, that's so friggin obvious' and voila. I'm glad you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-17 08:29 pm (UTC)Hee! That makes a lot of sense! Teenyboppers would pick him as a pinup guy.
This was not pointless, I adored it.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:30 pm (UTC)Hee! That makes a lot of sense! Teenyboppers would pick him as a pinup guy.
This was not pointless, I adored it.
I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 02:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 01:32 pm (UTC)I put the warning there more for my own mental well-being than to try and dissuade you lot. Besides, I know you're all a bunch of masochists anyway. Seriously though, I'm so glad you enjoyed this, thank you.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-18 03:05 pm (UTC)Lex isn’t sure what he told Enrique to do, but he suspects it might have had something to do with a pool cue and places the sun doesn’t shine.
....
Once he pours himself his first cup of coffee, things begin to move a bit faster. Although anything faster than inertia is warp speed to Lex right now. His brain may have companies to terrorize and fertilizer to sell, but his brain is still in bed, wrapped up in brushed flannel sheets and dreaming about wearing purple to its inauguration. Plus, shooting up coffee in front of the still impressionable Clark would be wrong, so Lex‘s caffeine fix hasn‘t kicked in. Ergo, he’s useless.
Clark could be talking about the downfall of Western Civilization and little green men invading, and Lex wouldn’t know.
Correction: Lex wouldn’t care.
However, Lex is nothing if not a gentleman, even when his robe is falling open and he has an insatiable urge to scratch himself in places he tries to only abuse privately. So he listens to Clark’s chatter, nods his head appropriately and picks up the salt instead of the sugar. It’s only when Clark stops him that he realizes that he’s about to make a mistake. He smiles sleepily, and picks up the correct canister, dumping a very unhealthy amount of unrefined sugar in his coffee. Stirring his coffee with his finger, Lex’s mind tries to turn over the events of the last five minutes.
Ha! I totally get this. And I really can't picture Lex as too much of a morning person either. Especially not without large amounts of coffee (or other, illegal substances ;P).
Clark sounds more nervous than anything else, and Lex has to bite his lip to keep from laughing hysterically. Clark is a gay alien, and Lex couldn‘t fall for some nice, bisexual rent boy from this planet, could he? Of course not, because that‘s not what the ‘special‘ kids do. “That’s nice,” he says, struggling to sit up, but thinking better of it when the room starts to defy the laws of gravity. It hurts even more when he slumps back down and bangs his head on the headboard.
*dies laughing* No, Lex. The special kids have it better, though.
“Do you think you could have prevaricated just a bit longer?“ is what Lex thinks, but he’s a bit taken aback when Clark’s chest starts shaking like he’s laughing uncontrollably. Lex is too old to be thinking aloud, so instead he holds on a bit tighter and sets his jaw in the Luthor Line of Non-amusedness.
It’s only when they touch down on the balcony of his penthouse, that Lex pokes Clark in the ribs. “What were you laughing about, Superdork?” he says, not actually attempting to break free of Clark’s embrace.
“I’ve been trying to tell you this for years, Lex.”
Clark really does look good in primary colors, but the spandex. That’s asking for more restraint that any one man could ever have. Lex has been dying to grope Clark in this costume for ages; instead, he goes for a glare and winds up somewhat short because of the erstwhile expression on Clark’s face. “You couldn’t have just said so?”
“What do you think all those confessions were about?”
LOL! Superdork! And the spandex, and the groping...hee!
Clark, Clark, Clark. He would drag it out like that, wouldn't he? Giving of himself piece by piece, testing the waters.
And I love it when Lex is oblivious. Even geniuses don't catch everything.
Wonderful, just wonderful. You manage to pack so much warmth and personality and just *feeling* into such a compact package. I don't know how, but it works for me!
Love ya.
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Date: 2003-02-19 09:42 am (UTC)Love ya.
Wow! What effusive feedback, thank you so much *g*
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Date: 2003-02-18 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-22 02:50 am (UTC)Thank you.
I wish I'd seen this sooner, and all I'm thinking about is how much effort it takes to write something and yet you still did it... for me. I'm fucked up, because I don't know what I feel right now... and I don't want to gush and sound full of shit.
Thank you... especially for the happy ending... I know I am such a sap. But I'm your sap, because you knew.
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Date: 2003-02-23 12:33 am (UTC)Thank you.
I wish I'd seen this sooner, and all I'm thinking about is how much effort it takes to write something and yet you still did it... for me. I'm fucked up, because I don't know what I feel right now... and I don't want to gush and sound full of shit.
Thank you... especially for the happy ending... I know I am such a sap. But I'm your sap, because you knew.
Sweetie, It's half-twelve on Sunday morning, I'm quite possibly pissed out my tree, but I know enough to say that writing this for you was the least I could do, so if it made you happy in any way then that's more than I could ever hope for. And I'm glad you're my sap ::hugs::