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hackthis_archiveMy math teacher was wrong.
If being delusional is a listed company, Lex thinks he probably holds controlling interest. It’s not that he’s trying to convince himself of something that’s not true as much as he’s just trying to convince himself period.
Maybe it would go over better if he practiced in the mirror.
Lex is not a mother hen, and he’s not worrying. He never worries. There is no reason for Lex to worry about his Super Alien Lover. None what so ever, and yet he wishes he could believe that. It’s one thing to be able to lie to someone else, it’s something else entirely to convince him self; and Lex isn’t buying any of the shit he’s selling. It’s almost appalling.
Or it would be appalling if Lex could actually be appalled. Instead, it’s just a naggling voice in the back of his mind and that voice isn’t nearly as loud as the one shouting that he’s being domesticated.
Lex doesn’t do domestic; Lex does Clark. Or he wants to do Clark, but that’s really not a smart thought to have at this time. Not with Clark right there in the doorway of his office looking so, well, Clark-like: young and supple and full of debauched promise
If all aliens are this hot, Lex will gladly help them take over the planet.
And if the voices in Lex’s head are screaming louder about lots of other things, that’s okay too. Lex doesn’t suspect Clark of anything malicious. He doesn’t think that Clark is trying to shrink his brain with some mind-control ray. Lex doesn’t suspect Clark of being anything other than himself, and perhaps that’s what’s putting Lex in the most danger.
It’s like Lex is holding all the cards but he suspects that the Joker is missing from the deck.
For some reason Lex is trying to convince himself that he’s not expecting anything from Clark. Anything else. Because Clark has given Lex his biggest secret wrapped in a brown-paper bag with red cotton string, and Lex has no idea what to do with it now. Now that he has it. Now that he has it all, what’s next? He doesn’t know, and Lex *hates* not knowing. He detests the uncertain, the unclear, all those things that he can’t explain away. Or perhaps what’s bothering Lex is something a bit more basic. A bit more unexpected.
He’s got this *thing* happening to him and he can’t dismiss it. He can’t wash it away or toss is out in the garbage. Clark is happening to Lex and he’s bringing with him all these emotions that Lex has no experience with.
Clark has Lex hoping for more when Lex knows that ‘hope’ is a four-letter word.
Of course, Lex knows lots of four letter words – like desk and fuck and damn. And kiss.
Kiss is a four-letter word that could wind up being Lex’s favorite word of all time because it’s what Clark is attempting to do right now. Of course, attempting and completing are two different tasks. And while Clark certainly is applying himself with lots of zest and fervor, this kiss is also very reminiscent of the way that Lex’s mother’s terrier, Dashiel, used to greet Lex first thing in the morning.
All the same, Lex doesn’t think he’s ever had anybody this happy to see him. It makes turning away from Clark’s extremely warm and wet mouth an extremely painful task. Bordering on arduous, and Lex just doesn’t want to do it, but there is work to be done. Somewhere on his desk.
At least he thinks there was before Clark sat on it. But all the same, Clark is Lex’s work too. Not his experiment as much as his masterpiece. A masterpiece that Lex stumbled into possession of and now can’t figure out where to hang in the house.
Not that he’s surprised.
Lex doesn’t think Amazon.com has book entitled ‘Understanding your Teenage Alien,’ but that’s not a problem. Setting a precedent is what Luthors do, but Lex still wouldn’t mind a little guidance on how to push Clark away without causing severe damage. Either to his desk or to his mouth.
“Mruph, Clark,” has a really sinful mouth. “Clark!”
“…”
“Clark, there’s this thing, it’s called a greeting. Generally it involved saying
‘hello’ before you try to swallow someone’s tonsils.”
“Oh, hi, Lex.” Sheepish grin, fluttering eyelashes and Lex is really only so strong. He needs a diversion. He needs pants with more room.
“Hi, Cla---.” And Lex has got to give Clark credit for being extremely persistent. Very persistent, like a dog with a bone, and again with the high school humor that seems extremely fitting here. Lex is going to have to turn this to his advantage very soon. As soon as he remembers why he wants Clark to stop kissing him.
“Cl – Clark!”
“Am I doing something wrong?”
“What? No! But, you know, hello. How was school to…” And Lex really didn’t want to remind himself that his teenage alien lover was still in *high school,* only…
“I thought you got out of school at three?” And Lex didn’t just expose himself with knowledge of Clark’s whereabouts every hour of the day. No, certainly not.
“2:55. But I had to drop my books at home.”
Uh huh.
“Clark. It’s 3:04.”
“Yeah, I know. Sorry, I’m late.”
Late. Late?
“What did you do? Fly here?”
“Nope, I ran.”
Ran. Ran? Wow.
“You ran here? Right after school?”
It’s so sad that Lex is lagging behind this way. So sad that Clark has sucked out Lex’s brain with his agile tongue. Lex will miss his mind, but maybe not that much.
“Yeah, is that okay? Should I have called first?” Oh my god, Lex can’t believe this. “I just thought that because you normally don’t mind when I stop by that it would be okay. I can leave if you want.”
Leave. Leave?
“Absolutely not.” The recaps have got to stop. Only this is so fucking insane that Lex can’t stop. He has to say it or he’ll never believe it. He’s still not quite with the program.
Lex Luthor has an Alien Lover who runs really, really fast.
“Oh, that’s good because I kinda told my mom that I wasn’t going to be home before eight.”
Wait a minute. “Does she know where you are?”
“Yes, no. Well, yeah, she knows I’m with you, but she thinks we’re at the Beanery.”
“And she would think that because what?”
“Because that’s what I told her.”
“Clark, you can’t go around lying to your mother,” but you can always lie to your father. Lex is certain of that one.
“It’s not lying.”
“It’s just a selective version of the truth. I understand.” God, does Lex understand. It just seems so early to be playing Truth and Evasion. Oh well.
“So, back to this running thing. I know you said you were fast but, Clark, you *ran* here. Exactly how fast are we talking about?”
“I don’t know. Really fast.”
Really fucking fast.
“Do you do everything fast?”
“Yeah. No. No, not everything.”
And Lex has to admit he’s impressed, he thought that entendre was going to fly right past Clark. Just like every other not-so-subtle remark and allusion he’s ever made in Clark’s presence. Of course, it’s not like being subtle actually got him Clark in the first place.
“So, there’s the running and the see-through vision and the strength, am I missing anything?”
“Well, there’s the floating.”
Silence.
“I’m sorry, Clark. Did you say ‘floating?’”
A blush. “Yeah, but it only happens while I’m sleeping. Well, so far at any rate.”
“Floating.”
And Lex knows he’s staring. Knows his eyes are thisclose to falling out his head, but ‘floating?’
“Okay, so floating. Not levitating, not flying, but floating.”
“Yeah.”
“And this happens while you sleep?”
“Yeah, but when I wake up, I crash.”
Lex has done a lot of crashing when he woke up, but all of that was metaphorical.
“So, you float when you sleep and what causes this? Your dreams? Your metabolism?” If Clark even has a metabolism. How does Clark digest food anyway? Does he even have a digestive track, or a nervous system? What about his sex drive? God, Lex is going insane with questions.
“Is there some particular food or something that does this to you? Brussel sprouts? Chocolate cake? Oreos?” The scientist in Lex can’t help himself.
“I – I think it’s dream related.”
“Dream related. What kind of dreams, Clark?”
“Just dreams.”
“Clark.”
“Lex, I don’t think - you’re going to freak out.”
“Only if you say your dreams are about Pete. Or Teletubbies.” Or Lana. God, please don’t let them be about Lana. Lex would rather Clark dream about Tinky Winky than Lana Lang.
“They’re about – they’re about you. About you and me.” And my god, Lex didn’t think anybody could get that red. Must be an alien thing. And, Jesus, does he want to ask Clark questions. All kinds of questions.
Of course, Lex’s line of questioning might lead to an alien explosion and that would be bad. But Clark is so good for his ego, maybe just one question. Or two.
“So, you dream about me, us. What exactly are we doing in your dreams? Fishing?” Fucking. Ruling the world. The possibilities are endless.
Mumblemumble ‘naked’ mumble.
Lex’s luck can’t be this good.
“I’m sorry, what did you say, Clark?”
“I didn’t say anything at all,” and sometimes Lex really *can’t* tell when Clark is lying.
“I’ll bet. So, what’s new in the land of Super Boy?”
“Don’t call me that.” And it could just be Lex’s imagination but Clark seems to be dimming a bit. He doesn’t seem as radiant as a few seconds ago
“What, is this the ‘I’m a man not a boy,’ speech coming? That’s fine with me and at least one Kansas statute then. How about Super Clark?”
“I’m not a super *anything,*” and there’s no mistaking that tone. Somewhere in Lex’s brain a voice is shrieking ‘don’t fuck with the alien.’
“Clark, I was just making a joke, I didn’t mean anything by it.” Except for, well, Clark Kent, Super Alien Teen.
“But it’s not funny, Lex. That’s what Chloe called Eric and look what happened to him.”
“Eric? Eric who?”
“This kid at school who kinda ended up with my powers.”
Rewind.
“I know what I think you just said, but I doubt very much that’s what you actually said. You don’t mind repeating yourself, do you? Good, of course not.”
“There was this freak accident and I got hit by lightening.”
“Jesus, Clark!”
“But, I’m okay, only Eric ended up with my abilities and they didn’t work out so well for him.” Work out so well. That’s a euphemism like saying Lex just has a few dollars.
“What happened to Eric, Clark?” Jesus, is Clark shaking?
“He – he kind of went nuts and ended up attacking people.”
People. It’s a code word. Fuck.
“He’s the one who threw you into that car at school isn’t he?” Lex is going to fucking kill this kid.
“Yeah, but it’s not his fault. It’s not easy, being, like this. Like me. And Lex, he’s in the Metropolis Psychiatric Home now. It’s not something he ever asked for.”
Like Lex really cares. He *hurt* Clark.
“Fine,” but Lex can’t help touching Clark, because Clark may look fine, but looks are like clothes and they hide everything.
“Lex, you’re not going to do anything are you?”
“Anything like what?”
“Innocence doesn’t work well for you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Look, it’s over and done with, you don’t have to worry about me.”
Not worry about his alien. Yeah, sure. Not ever going to happen.
“Okay.”
“No, Lex, I’m being serious here.”
“So am I. I don’t like what happened, and that’s putting it mildly.” Understatement of the Week complete with a blue ribbon from the dollar store. “Why didn’t you tell me when it happened?”
“I know you’re not really asking me that after everything I’ve told you over the last couple days.” Ah yes. About that. Lex has an alien.
“Good point.” Only it’s not and it’s not over, either, but Lex can let it go for now.
“So.”
“So.” There’s the grin that will doom Lex’s knees to jello status forever.
“I don’t think you came here to talk about Eric, or your illicit dreams, or drink my coffee. So why are you here apart from a desire to maul me?”
“I wasn’t mauling you! Was I?”
“You can maul me as much as you like, Clark, but in the meantime, what can I do for you?”
“I wanted to ask you a favor.”
“Oh, god, not another favor. Not for the Gay Farmboy Alien who’s saved my life.”
“Are you being sarcastic?”
“What do you think? Ask away, Clark.”
-finis-
If being delusional is a listed company, Lex thinks he probably holds controlling interest. It’s not that he’s trying to convince himself of something that’s not true as much as he’s just trying to convince himself period.
Maybe it would go over better if he practiced in the mirror.
Lex is not a mother hen, and he’s not worrying. He never worries. There is no reason for Lex to worry about his Super Alien Lover. None what so ever, and yet he wishes he could believe that. It’s one thing to be able to lie to someone else, it’s something else entirely to convince him self; and Lex isn’t buying any of the shit he’s selling. It’s almost appalling.
Or it would be appalling if Lex could actually be appalled. Instead, it’s just a naggling voice in the back of his mind and that voice isn’t nearly as loud as the one shouting that he’s being domesticated.
Lex doesn’t do domestic; Lex does Clark. Or he wants to do Clark, but that’s really not a smart thought to have at this time. Not with Clark right there in the doorway of his office looking so, well, Clark-like: young and supple and full of debauched promise
If all aliens are this hot, Lex will gladly help them take over the planet.
And if the voices in Lex’s head are screaming louder about lots of other things, that’s okay too. Lex doesn’t suspect Clark of anything malicious. He doesn’t think that Clark is trying to shrink his brain with some mind-control ray. Lex doesn’t suspect Clark of being anything other than himself, and perhaps that’s what’s putting Lex in the most danger.
It’s like Lex is holding all the cards but he suspects that the Joker is missing from the deck.
For some reason Lex is trying to convince himself that he’s not expecting anything from Clark. Anything else. Because Clark has given Lex his biggest secret wrapped in a brown-paper bag with red cotton string, and Lex has no idea what to do with it now. Now that he has it. Now that he has it all, what’s next? He doesn’t know, and Lex *hates* not knowing. He detests the uncertain, the unclear, all those things that he can’t explain away. Or perhaps what’s bothering Lex is something a bit more basic. A bit more unexpected.
He’s got this *thing* happening to him and he can’t dismiss it. He can’t wash it away or toss is out in the garbage. Clark is happening to Lex and he’s bringing with him all these emotions that Lex has no experience with.
Clark has Lex hoping for more when Lex knows that ‘hope’ is a four-letter word.
Of course, Lex knows lots of four letter words – like desk and fuck and damn. And kiss.
Kiss is a four-letter word that could wind up being Lex’s favorite word of all time because it’s what Clark is attempting to do right now. Of course, attempting and completing are two different tasks. And while Clark certainly is applying himself with lots of zest and fervor, this kiss is also very reminiscent of the way that Lex’s mother’s terrier, Dashiel, used to greet Lex first thing in the morning.
All the same, Lex doesn’t think he’s ever had anybody this happy to see him. It makes turning away from Clark’s extremely warm and wet mouth an extremely painful task. Bordering on arduous, and Lex just doesn’t want to do it, but there is work to be done. Somewhere on his desk.
At least he thinks there was before Clark sat on it. But all the same, Clark is Lex’s work too. Not his experiment as much as his masterpiece. A masterpiece that Lex stumbled into possession of and now can’t figure out where to hang in the house.
Not that he’s surprised.
Lex doesn’t think Amazon.com has book entitled ‘Understanding your Teenage Alien,’ but that’s not a problem. Setting a precedent is what Luthors do, but Lex still wouldn’t mind a little guidance on how to push Clark away without causing severe damage. Either to his desk or to his mouth.
“Mruph, Clark,” has a really sinful mouth. “Clark!”
“…”
“Clark, there’s this thing, it’s called a greeting. Generally it involved saying
‘hello’ before you try to swallow someone’s tonsils.”
“Oh, hi, Lex.” Sheepish grin, fluttering eyelashes and Lex is really only so strong. He needs a diversion. He needs pants with more room.
“Hi, Cla---.” And Lex has got to give Clark credit for being extremely persistent. Very persistent, like a dog with a bone, and again with the high school humor that seems extremely fitting here. Lex is going to have to turn this to his advantage very soon. As soon as he remembers why he wants Clark to stop kissing him.
“Cl – Clark!”
“Am I doing something wrong?”
“What? No! But, you know, hello. How was school to…” And Lex really didn’t want to remind himself that his teenage alien lover was still in *high school,* only…
“I thought you got out of school at three?” And Lex didn’t just expose himself with knowledge of Clark’s whereabouts every hour of the day. No, certainly not.
“2:55. But I had to drop my books at home.”
Uh huh.
“Clark. It’s 3:04.”
“Yeah, I know. Sorry, I’m late.”
Late. Late?
“What did you do? Fly here?”
“Nope, I ran.”
Ran. Ran? Wow.
“You ran here? Right after school?”
It’s so sad that Lex is lagging behind this way. So sad that Clark has sucked out Lex’s brain with his agile tongue. Lex will miss his mind, but maybe not that much.
“Yeah, is that okay? Should I have called first?” Oh my god, Lex can’t believe this. “I just thought that because you normally don’t mind when I stop by that it would be okay. I can leave if you want.”
Leave. Leave?
“Absolutely not.” The recaps have got to stop. Only this is so fucking insane that Lex can’t stop. He has to say it or he’ll never believe it. He’s still not quite with the program.
Lex Luthor has an Alien Lover who runs really, really fast.
“Oh, that’s good because I kinda told my mom that I wasn’t going to be home before eight.”
Wait a minute. “Does she know where you are?”
“Yes, no. Well, yeah, she knows I’m with you, but she thinks we’re at the Beanery.”
“And she would think that because what?”
“Because that’s what I told her.”
“Clark, you can’t go around lying to your mother,” but you can always lie to your father. Lex is certain of that one.
“It’s not lying.”
“It’s just a selective version of the truth. I understand.” God, does Lex understand. It just seems so early to be playing Truth and Evasion. Oh well.
“So, back to this running thing. I know you said you were fast but, Clark, you *ran* here. Exactly how fast are we talking about?”
“I don’t know. Really fast.”
Really fucking fast.
“Do you do everything fast?”
“Yeah. No. No, not everything.”
And Lex has to admit he’s impressed, he thought that entendre was going to fly right past Clark. Just like every other not-so-subtle remark and allusion he’s ever made in Clark’s presence. Of course, it’s not like being subtle actually got him Clark in the first place.
“So, there’s the running and the see-through vision and the strength, am I missing anything?”
“Well, there’s the floating.”
Silence.
“I’m sorry, Clark. Did you say ‘floating?’”
A blush. “Yeah, but it only happens while I’m sleeping. Well, so far at any rate.”
“Floating.”
And Lex knows he’s staring. Knows his eyes are thisclose to falling out his head, but ‘floating?’
“Okay, so floating. Not levitating, not flying, but floating.”
“Yeah.”
“And this happens while you sleep?”
“Yeah, but when I wake up, I crash.”
Lex has done a lot of crashing when he woke up, but all of that was metaphorical.
“So, you float when you sleep and what causes this? Your dreams? Your metabolism?” If Clark even has a metabolism. How does Clark digest food anyway? Does he even have a digestive track, or a nervous system? What about his sex drive? God, Lex is going insane with questions.
“Is there some particular food or something that does this to you? Brussel sprouts? Chocolate cake? Oreos?” The scientist in Lex can’t help himself.
“I – I think it’s dream related.”
“Dream related. What kind of dreams, Clark?”
“Just dreams.”
“Clark.”
“Lex, I don’t think - you’re going to freak out.”
“Only if you say your dreams are about Pete. Or Teletubbies.” Or Lana. God, please don’t let them be about Lana. Lex would rather Clark dream about Tinky Winky than Lana Lang.
“They’re about – they’re about you. About you and me.” And my god, Lex didn’t think anybody could get that red. Must be an alien thing. And, Jesus, does he want to ask Clark questions. All kinds of questions.
Of course, Lex’s line of questioning might lead to an alien explosion and that would be bad. But Clark is so good for his ego, maybe just one question. Or two.
“So, you dream about me, us. What exactly are we doing in your dreams? Fishing?” Fucking. Ruling the world. The possibilities are endless.
Mumblemumble ‘naked’ mumble.
Lex’s luck can’t be this good.
“I’m sorry, what did you say, Clark?”
“I didn’t say anything at all,” and sometimes Lex really *can’t* tell when Clark is lying.
“I’ll bet. So, what’s new in the land of Super Boy?”
“Don’t call me that.” And it could just be Lex’s imagination but Clark seems to be dimming a bit. He doesn’t seem as radiant as a few seconds ago
“What, is this the ‘I’m a man not a boy,’ speech coming? That’s fine with me and at least one Kansas statute then. How about Super Clark?”
“I’m not a super *anything,*” and there’s no mistaking that tone. Somewhere in Lex’s brain a voice is shrieking ‘don’t fuck with the alien.’
“Clark, I was just making a joke, I didn’t mean anything by it.” Except for, well, Clark Kent, Super Alien Teen.
“But it’s not funny, Lex. That’s what Chloe called Eric and look what happened to him.”
“Eric? Eric who?”
“This kid at school who kinda ended up with my powers.”
Rewind.
“I know what I think you just said, but I doubt very much that’s what you actually said. You don’t mind repeating yourself, do you? Good, of course not.”
“There was this freak accident and I got hit by lightening.”
“Jesus, Clark!”
“But, I’m okay, only Eric ended up with my abilities and they didn’t work out so well for him.” Work out so well. That’s a euphemism like saying Lex just has a few dollars.
“What happened to Eric, Clark?” Jesus, is Clark shaking?
“He – he kind of went nuts and ended up attacking people.”
People. It’s a code word. Fuck.
“He’s the one who threw you into that car at school isn’t he?” Lex is going to fucking kill this kid.
“Yeah, but it’s not his fault. It’s not easy, being, like this. Like me. And Lex, he’s in the Metropolis Psychiatric Home now. It’s not something he ever asked for.”
Like Lex really cares. He *hurt* Clark.
“Fine,” but Lex can’t help touching Clark, because Clark may look fine, but looks are like clothes and they hide everything.
“Lex, you’re not going to do anything are you?”
“Anything like what?”
“Innocence doesn’t work well for you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Look, it’s over and done with, you don’t have to worry about me.”
Not worry about his alien. Yeah, sure. Not ever going to happen.
“Okay.”
“No, Lex, I’m being serious here.”
“So am I. I don’t like what happened, and that’s putting it mildly.” Understatement of the Week complete with a blue ribbon from the dollar store. “Why didn’t you tell me when it happened?”
“I know you’re not really asking me that after everything I’ve told you over the last couple days.” Ah yes. About that. Lex has an alien.
“Good point.” Only it’s not and it’s not over, either, but Lex can let it go for now.
“So.”
“So.” There’s the grin that will doom Lex’s knees to jello status forever.
“I don’t think you came here to talk about Eric, or your illicit dreams, or drink my coffee. So why are you here apart from a desire to maul me?”
“I wasn’t mauling you! Was I?”
“You can maul me as much as you like, Clark, but in the meantime, what can I do for you?”
“I wanted to ask you a favor.”
“Oh, god, not another favor. Not for the Gay Farmboy Alien who’s saved my life.”
“Are you being sarcastic?”
“What do you think? Ask away, Clark.”
-finis-
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-06-03 01:27 pm (UTC)Oooh. Damn. Them's pretty words all together like that.
“Oh, god, not another favor. Not for the Gay Farmboy Alien who’s saved my life.”
Heh. I think that deserves to be on an icon.
Thanks! Was having a pretty blah day at work and seeing this pop up was like heaven!
Re:
Date: 2002-06-03 02:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-06-03 01:32 pm (UTC)Have you loved your z today? I have...
no subject
Date: 2002-06-03 02:32 pm (UTC)Love. It.
I'm so glad you're continuing with this!
no subject
Date: 2002-06-03 05:00 pm (UTC)*BG*
Gawd how much do i love this fic ???
no subject
Date: 2002-06-04 01:23 am (UTC)I know this is only for fun, but Lex is coming across as stupid... and I like my men smart. Oh, fuck I'm for it now.
/If all aliens are this hot, Lex will gladly help them take over the planet./
This line LMAO. Wish I'd thought of it. I feel stupid for not having thought of it.
I'll just git while the git'ns good...
Re:
Date: 2002-06-04 08:59 am (UTC)