A change of scene.
Mar. 12th, 2003 01:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveWord of the day:
Intaxication: Elation over receiving your income tax refund until you remember that it was actually your money to begin with. Fucking thieves. (Washington Post Invitational).
*
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ethrosdemon loves me. She drabbled Lex/Lucas from my Wednesday 100. Yes, she’s my girl.
Hey, did you know I write in more than one fandom? No, really. Sometimes I forget too!
Harry Potter
Unlabeled
The first time that Harry missed Draco they were in the same room.
The day was like any other. The occasion took place at least once a month, and yet, the entire situation was strange. Different.
Missing Draco was an unsettling sensation, but it made Harry feel alive. It pushed him out the rut. He was free, even if he was alone.
The whole business had taken place at a small dinner party that Neville and Ginny threw that Draco had very much not wanted to attend. He had spent the entire day sulking in the kitchen over a cold cup of tea and peeling labels off jam jars in protest. It was the same routine every time, and yet, at half-five Draco was dressed and at the fireplace, bottle of wine in hand and waiting to floo down to Grayston Green.
Harry had smiled and straightened Draco’s tie.
He knew how much Draco hated that.
That night, they were placed on opposite sides of the table, but with the same cast of players as always: Ron and Hermione, Dean and Seamus, Parvati and Pansy. Nothing was different, but when Harry slipped his foot out of his loafer to rub a sock-clad foot along Draco’s shin, he found nothing but air. Draco leg wasn’t there, but he was right across the table from Harry arguing with Pansy about bumble-bee wings and tadpole tails. Love Potion Number 4080. Supposedly it recognized if your lover was involved in some sort of shady dealings.
Harry slipped his foot back in his loafer and went back to his chicken.
It quivered on the end of his fork, and he chewed it viciously.
He had to take out his aggression on something.
*
Harry worked long hours, not because he had to, but because he wanted to.
He always wanted to do something. Post-traumatic blowing up several hundred Death Eaters had left him with a lot of nervous energy, and he tended to drive Draco barmy when he was cooped up in the house. Apparently, Draco had been thrilled when he had gone into the gardening business with Neville. Or so he claimed, but a fledgling business kept Harry far past busy, it also kept him chronically dirty.
He thought that Draco didn’t mind.
Draco never said he missed things the way he used to be, when Harrty was stained with spells and blood as opposed to peat and fertiliser.
Harry thought that Draco understood.
In the evening he would bring home flowers and talk about pollination.
One night he came home late, and there was a note spellotaped to the refrigerator with a daisy on the kitchen table. He smiled at the gesture, before he realized that there were other daisies and they had all had their petals plucked out. When Harry had turned on the light he saw the unlabeled bottle of wine and the full plates broken in the sink.
Harry had forgotten the time.
He had completely missed their anniversary.
It wasn’t deliberate; Harry never claimed to be the best at domestic life.
*
Harry spent a lot of time at work.
Draco spent a lot of time doing whatever he did.
Harry never actually missed Draco when he wasn’t with him, but he missed little things like Draco chewing on his nails. They were always happy when they were together. For the most part. Harry thought that was all that counted.
It wasn’t a grand love, but they fit.
*
The good thing about Draco leaving Harry was that it absolved Harry of all responsibility.
When Draco left, Harry told himself that it was for the best.
Harry didn’t really love Draco, and Draco didn’t really love him. They were just symbols, caricatures that people had created in their post-war need for some something to believe in. The Muggles had The Royals; the wizarding world had Harry and Draco, never Draco and Harry.
No, Harry didn’t miss that at all.
He missed Draco’s shoes in a row by the front door.
No, Harry didn’t miss being required to attend all sorts of functions because they were a couple.
He did miss knowing what jars contained which kind of jam though.
Harry didn’t miss Draco at all. He’s the one who told Draco to leave.
But if he doesn’t miss Draco, then he’s not sure what the gap in his life is about. If Draco’s not what Harry misses, then Harry has no name for what, in fact, he does miss.
-finis-
Notes: If you can find The Tribe Called Quest reference in here, you get a cookie.
Thanks tofearlessdiva for the Title Suggestion.
Intaxication: Elation over receiving your income tax refund until you remember that it was actually your money to begin with. Fucking thieves. (Washington Post Invitational).
*
ethrosdemon loves me. She drabbled Lex/Lucas from my Wednesday 100. Yes, she’s my girl.Hey, did you know I write in more than one fandom? No, really. Sometimes I forget too!
Harry Potter
Unlabeled
The first time that Harry missed Draco they were in the same room.
The day was like any other. The occasion took place at least once a month, and yet, the entire situation was strange. Different.
Missing Draco was an unsettling sensation, but it made Harry feel alive. It pushed him out the rut. He was free, even if he was alone.
The whole business had taken place at a small dinner party that Neville and Ginny threw that Draco had very much not wanted to attend. He had spent the entire day sulking in the kitchen over a cold cup of tea and peeling labels off jam jars in protest. It was the same routine every time, and yet, at half-five Draco was dressed and at the fireplace, bottle of wine in hand and waiting to floo down to Grayston Green.
Harry had smiled and straightened Draco’s tie.
He knew how much Draco hated that.
That night, they were placed on opposite sides of the table, but with the same cast of players as always: Ron and Hermione, Dean and Seamus, Parvati and Pansy. Nothing was different, but when Harry slipped his foot out of his loafer to rub a sock-clad foot along Draco’s shin, he found nothing but air. Draco leg wasn’t there, but he was right across the table from Harry arguing with Pansy about bumble-bee wings and tadpole tails. Love Potion Number 4080. Supposedly it recognized if your lover was involved in some sort of shady dealings.
Harry slipped his foot back in his loafer and went back to his chicken.
It quivered on the end of his fork, and he chewed it viciously.
He had to take out his aggression on something.
*
Harry worked long hours, not because he had to, but because he wanted to.
He always wanted to do something. Post-traumatic blowing up several hundred Death Eaters had left him with a lot of nervous energy, and he tended to drive Draco barmy when he was cooped up in the house. Apparently, Draco had been thrilled when he had gone into the gardening business with Neville. Or so he claimed, but a fledgling business kept Harry far past busy, it also kept him chronically dirty.
He thought that Draco didn’t mind.
Draco never said he missed things the way he used to be, when Harrty was stained with spells and blood as opposed to peat and fertiliser.
Harry thought that Draco understood.
In the evening he would bring home flowers and talk about pollination.
One night he came home late, and there was a note spellotaped to the refrigerator with a daisy on the kitchen table. He smiled at the gesture, before he realized that there were other daisies and they had all had their petals plucked out. When Harry had turned on the light he saw the unlabeled bottle of wine and the full plates broken in the sink.
Harry had forgotten the time.
He had completely missed their anniversary.
It wasn’t deliberate; Harry never claimed to be the best at domestic life.
*
Harry spent a lot of time at work.
Draco spent a lot of time doing whatever he did.
Harry never actually missed Draco when he wasn’t with him, but he missed little things like Draco chewing on his nails. They were always happy when they were together. For the most part. Harry thought that was all that counted.
It wasn’t a grand love, but they fit.
*
The good thing about Draco leaving Harry was that it absolved Harry of all responsibility.
When Draco left, Harry told himself that it was for the best.
Harry didn’t really love Draco, and Draco didn’t really love him. They were just symbols, caricatures that people had created in their post-war need for some something to believe in. The Muggles had The Royals; the wizarding world had Harry and Draco, never Draco and Harry.
No, Harry didn’t miss that at all.
He missed Draco’s shoes in a row by the front door.
No, Harry didn’t miss being required to attend all sorts of functions because they were a couple.
He did miss knowing what jars contained which kind of jam though.
Harry didn’t miss Draco at all. He’s the one who told Draco to leave.
But if he doesn’t miss Draco, then he’s not sure what the gap in his life is about. If Draco’s not what Harry misses, then Harry has no name for what, in fact, he does miss.
-finis-
Notes: If you can find The Tribe Called Quest reference in here, you get a cookie.
Thanks to
fearlessdiva for the Title Suggestion.
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no subject
Date: 2003-03-12 02:50 pm (UTC)it's just all so subtly devastating. *sigh*
wah. you kill me, you kill me with,
Missing Draco was an unsettling sensation, but it made Harry feel alive. It pushed him out the rut. He was free, even if he was alone.
i mean, later you go on about how he -doesn't- miss -draco-, just the little things (jam, shoes), but i mean, he -does-, he really does. wah. he's such an idiot. really. i don't think that level of denial could even -live- in my head comfortably. i'm impressed :D
Apparently, Draco had been thrilled when he had gone into the gardening business with Neville.
i mean. gardener!harry is just so ridiculous and yet... it's so like the rest of their life. i mean, it's just as ridiculous to be covered in blood and spells, isn't it. kind of.
It wasn’t a grand love, but they fit.
wah. that kills me. i hate it and i love it when you do that, just because you sort of cut at the reader and at harry, self-mocking and all that. you know, that sentence... i like that sentence. it has possibilities. *ponders*
hmmm.
because when you fit so well you don't even -notice-, and you think it's not even -there-, you forget to error-check and keep up with it because it's so easy, so natural.
wah. you should get them back together.
i mean, you break them up all the time, but you never get them back together.
i want to seeeeeeeee ><;;
Harry didn’t miss Draco at all. He’s the one who told Draco to leave.
wah. that was another one of those sharp turns that you have a lot. i don't know -why- he did that, exactly. obviously, he's just loony. (i mean, he wasn't unhappy, was he? was he just so concerned for draco? guh).
hee. when i think back on your hp ficlets, self-awareness is a weird thing. on the one hand, they usually are in denial, and yet the only time they aren't is if they're physically attracted-- if harry can't stop wanting to lick draco, and so it's obviously a crush. without that need to-- lick-- it's like harry always prefers to pretend draco doesn't really exist. i don't draco's ever like that, really. is he?
draco's just pissed off because there's no way potter's leaving his head, and he knows it. of course, he's an idiot because he never says it. he -knows- he's obsessed, and it must be torture living with an utterly oblivious harry after -years- of it.
honestly, i think the sex would remind them of each other. (you know. i'm pretty sure harry wouldn't be so blase, considering he has to hurry home to fuck. but that's just my opinion ~:)
hee. i think my stubborn optimism is showing ><;
no subject
Date: 2003-03-13 09:40 am (UTC)i want to seeeeeeeee ><;;
Now there is an idea with merit. I may have to contemplate this. you are right, I treat them rather badly. and i kill them a lot. but i did make them happy in the beginning a few times. i shall ponder this.