Beware the Greek bearing gifts.
Apr. 1st, 2003 11:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveThe word of the day is chicanery.
It is brought to you by the initials EW and the pairing Clark/Lana.
The Word of the Day is also brought to you by the number three cos that’s how many hot icons I can be bought for. I like purple, green and blue. I'm just saying.
LOTRips
Existing
Everything about Elijah is wrong.
His eyes are too big; his skin is too soft.
His hair is too shiny.
It’s just too much.
He looks in the mirror in the morning and wants to be someone else.
Someone who isn’t ‘too’ anything.
Dom says he’s been reading too many Greek myths.
*
The papers call him ‘believable to a fault’
The reviewers write that he’s ‘too cute.’
The fans clamor for him to be Frodo.
It’s too much.
He shaves his hair after one interviewer describes it as lush.
That’ll show them.
Show them what, Elijah’s not sure.
Dom removes all the magazines from the house though.
*
He’s too short.
Too hobbit sized.
He still gets carded at the movies, and his shirts are all small.
His fingers are short, but apparently his hands are just right for his body. Elijah would rather have hands like Viggo. Or Sean. He would rather have the kind of hands that are attached to tall people. Elijah would rather be tall and artistic and divorced. He would rather have history and scars and flaws rather than skin that the make-up people coo over.
Billy says he should appreciate his youth while he can.
Billy’s older. Billy’s happier.
He doesn’t understand.
Elijah is young, but his time is already running out.
*
Elijah would rather just be Elijah, instead of Elijah Wood.
Elijah would rather a lot of things.
But he can’t or he doesn’t. So instead he does the press junkets and bites his nails because.
Just because.
Dom doesn’t say anything.
After all, Elijah is alive. Does it really matter if he's living?
*
Elijah likes flaws.
He wants his own.
He wants bruises and scrapes and marks that last.
The ones on the outside have faded.
The others just make him feel old.
He never looks it.
He just feels it.
Dom says. Well, Dom says a lot.
*
He wakes up in the same bed. He goes through the same routine.
Except when he makes changes.
Sometimes he shaves, sometimes he doesn’t.
Sometimes he washes in the morning, sometimes in the evening.
The monotony is killing him.
It’s not Dom’s fault.
*
He drinks too much beer.
He smokes too many cloves.
He fucks the wrong people at the wrong time.
He’s sorry.
Dom says he’s too late.
*
He’s not too young.
He’s not too old.
He’s afraid his life is living him instead of the other way around.
It just is. He just is.
He goes away because he wants to stop existing.
-finis-
Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
obsessedmuch. Hey, you asked.
Notes: I am not attracted to Elijah Wood. I find him as sexually attractive as... well, Harvey Weinstein (head of Miramax). Nevertheless, I am not always an ungrateful whore![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
esorlehcar, edigo and lux__aeterna have given me many pretties recently and they seem to like YKW, so this is for them.
It is brought to you by the initials EW and the pairing Clark/Lana.
The Word of the Day is also brought to you by the number three cos that’s how many hot icons I can be bought for. I like purple, green and blue. I'm just saying.
LOTRips
Existing
Everything about Elijah is wrong.
His eyes are too big; his skin is too soft.
His hair is too shiny.
It’s just too much.
He looks in the mirror in the morning and wants to be someone else.
Someone who isn’t ‘too’ anything.
Dom says he’s been reading too many Greek myths.
*
The papers call him ‘believable to a fault’
The reviewers write that he’s ‘too cute.’
The fans clamor for him to be Frodo.
It’s too much.
He shaves his hair after one interviewer describes it as lush.
That’ll show them.
Show them what, Elijah’s not sure.
Dom removes all the magazines from the house though.
*
He’s too short.
Too hobbit sized.
He still gets carded at the movies, and his shirts are all small.
His fingers are short, but apparently his hands are just right for his body. Elijah would rather have hands like Viggo. Or Sean. He would rather have the kind of hands that are attached to tall people. Elijah would rather be tall and artistic and divorced. He would rather have history and scars and flaws rather than skin that the make-up people coo over.
Billy says he should appreciate his youth while he can.
Billy’s older. Billy’s happier.
He doesn’t understand.
Elijah is young, but his time is already running out.
*
Elijah would rather just be Elijah, instead of Elijah Wood.
Elijah would rather a lot of things.
But he can’t or he doesn’t. So instead he does the press junkets and bites his nails because.
Just because.
Dom doesn’t say anything.
After all, Elijah is alive. Does it really matter if he's living?
*
Elijah likes flaws.
He wants his own.
He wants bruises and scrapes and marks that last.
The ones on the outside have faded.
The others just make him feel old.
He never looks it.
He just feels it.
Dom says. Well, Dom says a lot.
*
He wakes up in the same bed. He goes through the same routine.
Except when he makes changes.
Sometimes he shaves, sometimes he doesn’t.
Sometimes he washes in the morning, sometimes in the evening.
The monotony is killing him.
It’s not Dom’s fault.
*
He drinks too much beer.
He smokes too many cloves.
He fucks the wrong people at the wrong time.
He’s sorry.
Dom says he’s too late.
*
He’s not too young.
He’s not too old.
He’s afraid his life is living him instead of the other way around.
It just is. He just is.
He goes away because he wants to stop existing.
-finis-
Written for
obsessedmuch. Hey, you asked.Notes: I am not attracted to Elijah Wood. I find him as sexually attractive as... well, Harvey Weinstein (head of Miramax). Nevertheless, I am not always an ungrateful whore
esorlehcar, edigo and lux__aeterna have given me many pretties recently and they seem to like YKW, so this is for them.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 12:28 pm (UTC)*friends you a lot*
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 03:52 pm (UTC)*friends you a lot*
*smiles* i've been writing lots of very pithy things recently, probably because I'm running out of words (I need to read the dictionary) Thank you so much for commenting. I'm glad you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 12:57 pm (UTC)Snap. They will be crawlin' all up on you.
Elijah would rather be tall and artistic and divorced. He would rather have history and scars and flaws rather than skin that the make-up people coo over.
This is fucking fantastic. Shiznit. Seriously, yo. Good stuff.
He’s afraid his life is living him instead of the other way around.
It just is. He just is.
My existentialist sister. How do I love thee? I love thee in they Wombat-hatred. I love thee when thine evil cackle turns heads. I love thee in thy resistant to the foil hats.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 03:58 pm (UTC)Snap. They will be crawlin' all up on you.
You're next human, don't play. I feel like *wrong* now. Also, so not attracted. I mean like cold fish.
My existentialist sister. How do I love thee? I love thee in they Wombat-hatred. I love thee when thine evil cackle turns heads. I love thee in thy resistant to the foil hats.
Word. You're my girl. I might even write you some shit or something.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 01:06 pm (UTC)Pretties!
Date: 2003-04-01 03:49 pm (UTC)You have now bought yourself one
slightly usedvery usedRecycling Efficent hack writer. What is your bidding my dear? (Providing that I can write something longer than a sentence.)Re: Pretties!
Date: 2003-04-01 07:41 pm (UTC)Um... well, assuming you can write something longer than a sentence (*wink*), I wouldn't mind some Lex & Lucas fic. Doesn't have to be sexual, just... "new" brothers. Feeling out the boundaries... maybe doing something mundane together, learning about each other.
no subject
Angsty, but good.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 04:00 pm (UTC)Angsty, but good.
Angst, it's the only way.
Angst, it's what's for dinner.
Angst, the other white meat.
no subject
Porn, it's the only way.
Porn, it's what's for dinner.
Porn, the other white meat.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 01:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 04:01 pm (UTC)*smiles* I'm so glad you liked this, thank you.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 03:07 pm (UTC)He still gets carded at the movies, and his shirts are all small.
Story of my life...Short People Unite!
After all, Elijah is alive. Does it really matter if he's living?
Existential angst. Awwww.
Very well done :)
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 04:06 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you enjoyed this, thank you for commenting.
no subject
Is good! <3 (http://www.livejournal.com/interests.bml?int=zahra+timberlake).
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 04:09 pm (UTC)WHAT?! I know y'all aren't trying to ship me off with that bleachblondenobrainnappyheadedfluffstar! Stop that this instant!
*snorts derisively*
Also, I'm glad you liked this. Also, I am never writing him again, cos so not my thing. It's almost as painful as het *winks*
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 08:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-02 08:59 am (UTC)Thank you *smiles*
no subject
Date: 2003-04-02 01:04 am (UTC)He wants his own.
He wants bruises and scrapes and marks that last.
The ones on the outside have faded.
The others just make him feel old.
Can I write like you (in a talent-wise, non-plagiaristic way) when I grow up?
no subject
Date: 2003-04-02 09:00 am (UTC)Wow. Thank you so much for all your kind words, I really appreciate them. *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-04-02 12:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-02 01:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-02 09:01 am (UTC)April fools comes but once a year, dude. Don't even start.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-02 07:09 am (UTC)sigh.
Damn you and your wonderful LOTRrps.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-02 09:02 am (UTC)Fear not, you are not alone. I have zero love for EW and pretty much everybody, but in the honor of April Fools and everybody else doing strange things I figured why not. It won't happen again. *nods sagely*
no subject
Date: 2003-04-02 07:49 am (UTC)I just had to say that this is the best line I've read all week, and I read a lot.
Elijah is young, but his time is already running out.
Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-02 09:03 am (UTC)I just had to say that this is the best line I've read all week, and I read a lot.
Elijah is young, but his time is already running out.
Thanks.
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this.