hackthis_archive | Three ideas. Two hands. Can only do one at a time. BOLLOCKS!

Nowhere near where I was supposed to write, but another hurdle down in the quest to write WA fic.

*does complicated dance involving chair and arms*

LOTRips
Sinnerman

Cigarettes

Billy doesn’t smoke.

It’s not an indictment of any kind, he knows plenty of people who do - Orli does, and Elijah smokes those pseudo-fags - but it’s not really on for him.

Smoking’s an expensive little addiction to maintain, although not as dear as some, but it’s also terribly filthy. It makes his clothes reek, and it made his aunt’s fingers turn yellow. Not to mention that whole bit with the cancer and the oxygen tank.

No, Billy’s not really a smoker, but that doesn’t stop him from accepting the proffered Marlboro Light.

One cigarette isn’t going to kill him.

Besides Dom won’t know.

Alcohol

Billy drinks.

Billy drinks a lot. By American standards he should be seeking help, but by the standards of the rest of the world he’s just doing his job in helping out the farmers. Bean liked to quote Dean Martin whenever they were at the pub, something about doing their job to help out the people in the factories.

Billy’s just doing his share to help the Guinness people. And the Newkie Brown people. And the Stella people, and pretty much the rest of the people who make a lager or stout or bitter of any kind.

He’s not terribly discriminating in his tastes. At least not when it comes to things on tap.

With regards to bottles, he prefers vodka. Or whiskey. Or pretty much anything.

When he was in Mexico he even learned a thing or two about tequilas. Gold works much better for him than patron. Patron makes him act funny, and not in the advisable ‘run home and shag your boyfriend way.’ More in the ‘fall down a hill and skin your knees while running about trying to shag anything that moves’ way.

Obviously patron comes with its own preventative measure.

There’s nothing wrong with Billy liking the drink.

It won’t kill him.

Sex

Sex is Billy's second favorite sin. He's not a virgin and hasn’t been for quite some time, although there are a few things that he hasn’t tried that he wouldn't mind having a go at.

He prefers voyeurism to exhibitionism and doesn’t mind a little pain with his pleasure. He bottoms from the top and can top from the bottom.

It’s all about perspective, and if sex killed Billy it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever.

Correction: If Billy died while shagging Dominic, it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. Point in fact, it might be the best thing ever, unless he hadn’t gotten off yet, then it would be a travesty the likes of which Glasgow probably hasn’t seen since the last time Celtic lost to the Rangers.

The only thing worse than that might be if Billy were caught shagging someone other than his boyfriend, because then Dom might kill him. Not that that would ever happen though, because Billy’s mad about Dom.

Even if he has to wank off at least twice a day when Dom’s not there.

After all, there is that wonderful invention called the phone, even if the receiver is a bit sticky these days.

Drugs

Billy does some drugs.

He doesn’t know anyone who doesn’t.

Weed, E, a little coke, he’s a dabbler not a junkie, and he knows better than to try anything that requires an injection. Smoking and inhaling and swallowing work just fine for him, thanks.

Drugs won’t kill Billy.

He’s only experimenting.

He’s still young enough for that to be plausible.

Dominic

Billy definitely does Dominic.

Billy does public events and wears suits because Dom says he looks fit.

He twines their fingers together under dinner tables and whisper nonsense words in Dom’s ear because that’s what Dom wants.

Billy writes ‘M-I-N-E’ in places that are covered by fabric because Dom wants that as well.

So does Billy.

Billy needs Dom. He craves him. He would beg, borrow, and steal for Dom without a second thought.

Dom has sharp hipbones that Billy likes to suck on, and he’s got a soft spot behind his right ear that makes him keen when Billy kisses it.

Dom’s lips make an ‘O’ when Billy’s fingers slip inside him, and his eyes flutter with every stroke that Billy makes with his hands and his cock and his voice.

Dom is Billy’s ultimate vice, and he’s the sin Billy will die for before he’ll give him up.

Dominic might kill him, but that’s all right by Billy.

-Finis-

Dedicated to