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hackthis_archiveFirst order of business, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rosenho put together a cracking SV ezine together, Ground Zero. Check out all her hard work.
Second order of business, yesterday waslalejandra's birthday, and she's so low key that she didn't even blow anything up to celebrate. Unfortunately I was, err, indisposed yesterday and didn't get to write her anything, but this week? Oh, it's on.
Also, a uh weecrack-fic! crossover for the birthday girl.
Smallville/Harry Potter
Rule #2,812: Beware the Charming Pretty People with Wands
Lex had rules about dealing with people who were crazier than him, or he would’ve if he thought of himself as crazy; but Lex wasn’t crazy, he was just eccentric, and eccentric people always recognized other eccentric people. Especially when they wandered into Lex’s favorite Italian bistro in Positano and began zapping people with sticks of wood and green lights. The whole business was very trying to Lex’s nerves, and he wanted to feel severely put out by the entire experience since said eccentric stranger had zapped the chef before Lex had been served his gnocchi, but it was hard to be put out when the stranger was so –- well, pretty.
Luckily for Lex, he had rules about dealing with pretty people.
Lex had rules for everything.
*
Lex had rules about dying – he would do it when he was damn well ready and not a moment before, which is probably why he kicked the chef-murderer in the kneecap and held a steak knife to his throat until he revealed his name.
*
Lex had rules about dealing with pretty people who sneered more than they sneezed and always went around looking as though they were smelling something unpleasant. However, it was hard not to be charmed by Draco Malfoy and the way he sulked when Lex refused to die after Draco pointed his piece of wood at Lex and said something in language he didn’t recognize.
Draco had been one of the more interesting law-givers of ancient Greece, but apparently his namesake was more interested in delivering his own kind of justice.
*
Lex had rules about taking people to his villa who insisted that they were the one True Heir and that everybody else should’ve been kissing their robes. For one, Lex was the True Heir, everybody knew that, and two, Lex never kissed anybody’s robes. Even if they were a brilliant shade of verdant and seemed to have snakes slithering around them. The illusion on the material was stellar, Lex would be the first to admit, but who knew where the hell those robes had been?
Clearly what Draco needed was a shower and a change of clothes and to put down that intriguing stick that he kept using to kill things, so that Lex could study it a bit closer.
*
Lex had rules about people wearing shoes in the villa and about people invading his personal space every two seconds, but Draco didn’t really seem to care what sort of rules Lex had. It was refreshing, in an annoying sort of way.
*
Lex had rules about fucking blonde Englishmen who tried to kill him with a pointy sticks of wood, but it was hard to remember what they were when said Englishmen had such enormous gray eyes and a pink, bow-like mouth that made Lex’s trousers too tight. Actually, it became impossible to remember much of anything when Draco wandered out of the bathroom in a naked snit because he had no idea how the shower worked.
*
No one ever fucked Lex, but of course, Draco didn’t listen.
*
Lex had rules about being fucked by people who held him at gunpoint, but a stick wasn’t a gun, strictly speaking, and when Draco found the gun in Lex’s nightstand along with condoms and lube and various other sundries, he actually asked Lex what the hell it was.
*
Lex had rules about lovers and significant others, and how he refused to have either for a period of longer than six weeks, however, there was something about Draco that intrigued Lex, something that made Lex think that the rules simply weren’t going to apply anymore. Rather than dwelling too much on the matter, Lex simple made up a new rule that said Draco was exempt from every other rule in the book, except the one about killing him off should Draco prove to be another alien from Krypton.
-end-
rosenho put together a cracking SV ezine together, Ground Zero. Check out all her hard work.Second order of business, yesterday was
lalejandra's birthday, and she's so low key that she didn't even blow anything up to celebrate. Unfortunately I was, err, indisposed yesterday and didn't get to write her anything, but this week? Oh, it's on. Also, a uh wee
Smallville/Harry Potter
Lex had rules about dealing with people who were crazier than him, or he would’ve if he thought of himself as crazy; but Lex wasn’t crazy, he was just eccentric, and eccentric people always recognized other eccentric people. Especially when they wandered into Lex’s favorite Italian bistro in Positano and began zapping people with sticks of wood and green lights. The whole business was very trying to Lex’s nerves, and he wanted to feel severely put out by the entire experience since said eccentric stranger had zapped the chef before Lex had been served his gnocchi, but it was hard to be put out when the stranger was so –- well, pretty.
Luckily for Lex, he had rules about dealing with pretty people.
Lex had rules for everything.
Lex had rules about dying – he would do it when he was damn well ready and not a moment before, which is probably why he kicked the chef-murderer in the kneecap and held a steak knife to his throat until he revealed his name.
Lex had rules about dealing with pretty people who sneered more than they sneezed and always went around looking as though they were smelling something unpleasant. However, it was hard not to be charmed by Draco Malfoy and the way he sulked when Lex refused to die after Draco pointed his piece of wood at Lex and said something in language he didn’t recognize.
Draco had been one of the more interesting law-givers of ancient Greece, but apparently his namesake was more interested in delivering his own kind of justice.
Lex had rules about taking people to his villa who insisted that they were the one True Heir and that everybody else should’ve been kissing their robes. For one, Lex was the True Heir, everybody knew that, and two, Lex never kissed anybody’s robes. Even if they were a brilliant shade of verdant and seemed to have snakes slithering around them. The illusion on the material was stellar, Lex would be the first to admit, but who knew where the hell those robes had been?
Clearly what Draco needed was a shower and a change of clothes and to put down that intriguing stick that he kept using to kill things, so that Lex could study it a bit closer.
Lex had rules about people wearing shoes in the villa and about people invading his personal space every two seconds, but Draco didn’t really seem to care what sort of rules Lex had. It was refreshing, in an annoying sort of way.
Lex had rules about fucking blonde Englishmen who tried to kill him with a pointy sticks of wood, but it was hard to remember what they were when said Englishmen had such enormous gray eyes and a pink, bow-like mouth that made Lex’s trousers too tight. Actually, it became impossible to remember much of anything when Draco wandered out of the bathroom in a naked snit because he had no idea how the shower worked.
No one ever fucked Lex, but of course, Draco didn’t listen.
Lex had rules about being fucked by people who held him at gunpoint, but a stick wasn’t a gun, strictly speaking, and when Draco found the gun in Lex’s nightstand along with condoms and lube and various other sundries, he actually asked Lex what the hell it was.
Lex had rules about lovers and significant others, and how he refused to have either for a period of longer than six weeks, however, there was something about Draco that intrigued Lex, something that made Lex think that the rules simply weren’t going to apply anymore. Rather than dwelling too much on the matter, Lex simple made up a new rule that said Draco was exempt from every other rule in the book, except the one about killing him off should Draco prove to be another alien from Krypton.
-end-
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 02:02 pm (UTC)Lex had rules about dealing with pretty people who sneered more than they sneezed and always went around looking as though they were smelling something unpleasant.
this sentence is wonderful, and this sentence:
However, it was hard not to be charmed by Draco Malfoy and the way he sulked when Lex refused to die when Draco pointed a piece of wood at him and said something in language Lex didn’t recognize
is charming.
No one ever fucked Lex, but of course, Draco didn’t listen.
oh my.
Rather than dwelling too much on the matter, Lex simple made up a new rule that said Draco was exempt from every other rule in the book, except the one about killing him off should Draco prove to be another alien from Krypton.
Hahahahahaha! that's just perfect.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 11:59 am (UTC)It always makes me happy when you enjoy something I write ;)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 02:04 pm (UTC)HAHAHA! Lex, you have no idea.
For one, Lex was the True Heir
TRUE HEIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it became impossible to remember much of anything when Draco wandered out of the bathroom in a naked snit because he had no idea how the shower worked.
HAHAHA!
Rather than dwelling too much on the matter, Lex simple made up a new rule that said Draco was exempt from every other rule in the book, except the one about killing him off should Draco prove to be another alien from Krypton.
Oh. My. Purple. Panties.
I am dead. You have killed me! (I was going to write "You have kilt me", but I feel like that is something different altogether.)
This was so cute! And totally unexpected. You're lovely, darling. I adore you and all of your stellar writing skills!
she's so low key that she didn't even blow anything up to celebrate
That's what you think. *smirky smirkerson*
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:00 pm (UTC)TRUE HEIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That bitch never finished that story either.
Oh. My. Purple. Panties.
I am dead. You have killed me! (I was going to write "You have kilt me", but I feel like that is something different altogether.)
This was so cute! And totally unexpected. You're lovely, darling. I adore you and all of your stellar writing skills!
I'm so glad you liked it, sweetie. YAY!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 02:21 pm (UTC)You wrote another one, and it rocked as well, and I think I might die due to the overload of pretty.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 09:47 pm (UTC)That is all.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 02:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 03:14 pm (UTC)Wheeeeeeeee!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 04:03 pm (UTC)can someone tell me what crack!fic is? I'm not sure I get it.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 10:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 04:29 pm (UTC)My two favorite bad boys together in the same fic, I really loved it! :)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 05:01 pm (UTC)Lex has no idea what hit him.
Dear Draco,
I know that being in exile is hard. Merlin knows how much I am aware of this, having lived amongst muggles lo these many years trying to keep the Ministry from sending me off in chains. However, one must remember there are limits, and fucking a muggle is really beyond the pale. I think our engagement contract is now null and void owing to your behaviour. Blaise sends his regards from my bed.
Fuck you very much,
K
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:09 pm (UTC)My bad, dog.
Regards,
Z
no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 05:12 pm (UTC)That's pretty much when my memory disappeared too! Such a lovely mental image - Draco does stroppy so wonderfully!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 05:41 pm (UTC)Lex had rules about fucking blonde Englishmen who tried to kill him with a pointy sticks of wood, but it was hard to remember what they were when said Englishmen had such enormous gray eyes and a pink, bow-like mouth that made Lex’s trousers too tight.
Poor Lex, so confuzzled by Draco's snottiness and prettiness.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:11 pm (UTC)*laughs*
Now there's an oxymoron for you.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 06:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 08:33 am (UTC)Splendid. I'm all giggly.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 09:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 12:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 09:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-23 04:54 pm (UTC)