OMG it's teh best show!
Oct. 21st, 2004 09:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archive1. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
obsessedmuch is writing again! And she's writing Sawyer/Jack! Soon, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ethrosdemon will come back too, and tomorrow, Pinky, we will take over the world! [insert evil cackling here]
2.nifra_idril wrote Jason fic (SV). The world, she is ending... just read this first.
Once upon a blue moon, I did recaps of SV. Obviously this was way back in season 1 and this happens no more. However, somebody asked me to do a one-time recap for last night's Lost, with a decidedly Boone & Hurley, everybody's GAY, slant. So.
Okay so we open up with Jack sitting on the beach, brooding, like Jack does when he's missing his little bottle of vodka. We pan to somebody flailing in the water in the distance. Somebody runs over, I think it's Kate (wow, she's got fucking great arms. Who says crime doesn't pay?) she says 'Jack, somebody's drowning!' No shit. He immediately jumps up, strips off his clothing (no, not all of it, sadly) and runs into the water because he used to be on Baywatch. Or something. He swims and swims and eventually reaches China! Or not. Anyhoo.
He gets out in the middle of the ocean and totally can't see anybody, and nobody else comes out to help him since out of 47 people only two can swim. What are the odds? Jack dives under water to find whoever's drowning and comes up with....
Boone.
Shocked the hell out of me.
Apparently Boone went out to save the drowning chick, but failed for whatever reason. Can't do CPR right, can't swim, dude, you're so not gonna be on Baywatch.
Jack and Boone argue over Jack leaving Boone to drown to go save the drowning chick. Jack chooses Boone. Boone sulks. OMG it's the gayest thing ever! (Did I mention that they were shirtless? And like, grappling with each other? This, children, is how you do subtle gayness. JJ is the man! All hail!)
The chick, Joanne extra-who-nobody-knew, drowns.
Jack broods. Kate watches him brood. Jack hallucinates. There's this whole sub-plot with there being no effing water on the island. We get v little of The Hurley & Charlie Show (TM), which makes me sad because that's really what they are, comedic relief. Just a lot of angst about the water.
Jack keeps hallucinating (apparently it's his dead father), Boone confronts him about making him look like the beta male he is. He says, 'hey man, I used to run a business!' Jack ain't impressed. Guess we know who's the sub in that relationship. Boone tries to start a fight, Jack ignores him to go follow his hallucination.
Boone sulks.
Jack goes into the forest.
Sawyer has interaction with Shannon. He's reading (He reads?!). He calls her Sticks. She wants to buy insect repellant. He says it'll cost her $5000. Capitalism at it's finest. He says he'll take a IOU. Okay, I officially like him now, damn.
Claire faints.
Everybody angsts because Jack is gone and nobody else has two brain cells to rub together. Also, there is no water since somebody stole the little reserve they had from the tent.
G.I. Joe Locke goes to find water...
Instead he finds Jack hanging off the side of a cliff, because Jack fell over the side while he was chasing his dad's hallucination. Locke pulls Jack to safety and they roll all over each other.
OMGtheirloveissogeriatricandwrong!
Locke plays Yoda to Jack's Luke. You are who you think you are, so if you think you are a leader, then you are a leader.
I so like Locke.
Flashbacks. Jack's parents were fucking horrible. Not as horrible as the Magnificent Bastard (or Lionel Luthor as he's also known), but they were a serious piece of work nevertheless. Damn.
Kate thinks that Sawyer stole the water because Sun managed to get water from him. Dude, Sun's husband? Such a chauvinistic git.
Kate and Sayid confront Sawyer. Dude, Lar's story was right?! He does have all the minibar shit! Sawyer calls Kate Freckles. He's got a nickname for everybody! There's Sawyer/Sayid tenshion. Oh, the OTP of Slashy Aggression (TM)strikes again.
Jack angsts. Claire's getting worse. Claire/Kate moment. Hmmm.
Claire/Charlie moment. Hmmm.
Jack finds a waterfall, so hurray! Water! On an island. A tropical island. With other life on it. Who knew?
Maybe the polar bears drank Coke or something.
(Please keep in mind my order here is prolly all jacked up, but this is a recap, not the show)
Claire's in the tent, Boone shows up with three bottles of water and tries to give them to her. Enter Charlie, stage left. He goes mental when he sees Boone hitting on his girl, I guess he didn't get the 'Jack is fucking Boone' memo.
Charlie accuses Boone of stealing the supply of water. Boone says it was a misunderstanding, he was going to give it back earlier but then everybody went all loco, so...
Charlie steps to Boone. Ooooh Fight! Fight! Everybody gathers around. It's like third grade!
Charlie rats Boone out to everybody, things get hectic, and then Jack comes back to savehis piece of ass the day! He tells everybody's about the waterfall, etc etc. Everything's groovy.
Except that one of the last scenes is Boone sitting by himself and Sawyer coming over. Sawyer says 'so how does it feel to be the most hated man in the camp now?'
Boone/Sawyer! Show me the money people!
Next week: More crazy stuff happens. Augustus does an Oz number on Sun’s chauvinistic pig of a husband with a machete. Whoa.
Note: For a full de-brief, check outcleolinda’s stuff: here
obsessedmuch is writing again! And she's writing Sawyer/Jack! Soon, ethrosdemon will come back too, and tomorrow, Pinky, we will take over the world! [insert evil cackling here]2.
nifra_idril wrote Jason fic (SV). The world, she is ending... just read this first. Once upon a blue moon, I did recaps of SV. Obviously this was way back in season 1 and this happens no more. However, somebody asked me to do a one-time recap for last night's Lost, with a decidedly Boone & Hurley, everybody's GAY, slant. So.
Okay so we open up with Jack sitting on the beach, brooding, like Jack does when he's missing his little bottle of vodka. We pan to somebody flailing in the water in the distance. Somebody runs over, I think it's Kate (wow, she's got fucking great arms. Who says crime doesn't pay?) she says 'Jack, somebody's drowning!' No shit. He immediately jumps up, strips off his clothing (no, not all of it, sadly) and runs into the water because he used to be on Baywatch. Or something. He swims and swims and eventually reaches China! Or not. Anyhoo.
He gets out in the middle of the ocean and totally can't see anybody, and nobody else comes out to help him since out of 47 people only two can swim. What are the odds? Jack dives under water to find whoever's drowning and comes up with....
Boone.
Shocked the hell out of me.
Apparently Boone went out to save the drowning chick, but failed for whatever reason. Can't do CPR right, can't swim, dude, you're so not gonna be on Baywatch.
Jack and Boone argue over Jack leaving Boone to drown to go save the drowning chick. Jack chooses Boone. Boone sulks. OMG it's the gayest thing ever! (Did I mention that they were shirtless? And like, grappling with each other? This, children, is how you do subtle gayness. JJ is the man! All hail!)
The chick, Joanne extra-who-nobody-knew, drowns.
Jack broods. Kate watches him brood. Jack hallucinates. There's this whole sub-plot with there being no effing water on the island. We get v little of The Hurley & Charlie Show (TM), which makes me sad because that's really what they are, comedic relief. Just a lot of angst about the water.
Jack keeps hallucinating (apparently it's his dead father), Boone confronts him about making him look like the beta male he is. He says, 'hey man, I used to run a business!' Jack ain't impressed. Guess we know who's the sub in that relationship. Boone tries to start a fight, Jack ignores him to go follow his hallucination.
Boone sulks.
Jack goes into the forest.
Sawyer has interaction with Shannon. He's reading (He reads?!). He calls her Sticks. She wants to buy insect repellant. He says it'll cost her $5000. Capitalism at it's finest. He says he'll take a IOU. Okay, I officially like him now, damn.
Claire faints.
Everybody angsts because Jack is gone and nobody else has two brain cells to rub together. Also, there is no water since somebody stole the little reserve they had from the tent.
G.I. Joe Locke goes to find water...
Instead he finds Jack hanging off the side of a cliff, because Jack fell over the side while he was chasing his dad's hallucination. Locke pulls Jack to safety and they roll all over each other.
OMGtheirloveissogeriatricandwrong!
Locke plays Yoda to Jack's Luke. You are who you think you are, so if you think you are a leader, then you are a leader.
I so like Locke.
Flashbacks. Jack's parents were fucking horrible. Not as horrible as the Magnificent Bastard (or Lionel Luthor as he's also known), but they were a serious piece of work nevertheless. Damn.
Kate thinks that Sawyer stole the water because Sun managed to get water from him. Dude, Sun's husband? Such a chauvinistic git.
Kate and Sayid confront Sawyer. Dude, Lar's story was right?! He does have all the minibar shit! Sawyer calls Kate Freckles. He's got a nickname for everybody! There's Sawyer/Sayid tenshion. Oh, the OTP of Slashy Aggression (TM)strikes again.
Jack angsts. Claire's getting worse. Claire/Kate moment. Hmmm.
Claire/Charlie moment. Hmmm.
Jack finds a waterfall, so hurray! Water! On an island. A tropical island. With other life on it. Who knew?
Maybe the polar bears drank Coke or something.
(Please keep in mind my order here is prolly all jacked up, but this is a recap, not the show)
Claire's in the tent, Boone shows up with three bottles of water and tries to give them to her. Enter Charlie, stage left. He goes mental when he sees Boone hitting on his girl, I guess he didn't get the 'Jack is fucking Boone' memo.
Charlie accuses Boone of stealing the supply of water. Boone says it was a misunderstanding, he was going to give it back earlier but then everybody went all loco, so...
Charlie steps to Boone. Ooooh Fight! Fight! Everybody gathers around. It's like third grade!
Charlie rats Boone out to everybody, things get hectic, and then Jack comes back to save
Except that one of the last scenes is Boone sitting by himself and Sawyer coming over. Sawyer says 'so how does it feel to be the most hated man in the camp now?'
Boone/Sawyer! Show me the money people!
Next week: More crazy stuff happens. Augustus does an Oz number on Sun’s chauvinistic pig of a husband with a machete. Whoa.
Note: For a full de-brief, check out
cleolinda’s stuff: here
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no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 09:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 03:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 04:55 pm (UTC)but... but... he's hot! And I have it on good authority that beneath that asshole exterious he's well, he's still an asshole, but he's a damn hot one.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-22 08:57 am (UTC)Let me tell you a story about him:
Sawyer Broadus never rolled his skateboard cum automechanic-fixin'-wheel-thingie out from under his '78 Camero and squinted up at the sky. Looked like rain, but then it rained most days in Biloxi. Without getting up or moving too much he reached over into his cooler of Bud and pulled out a can. He had to wrench his neck a little to drink while laying down, but that didn't bother him as much as the motor-oil chaser he got since he'd forgotten to wipe his mouth.
He was startin' to feel a little run down, and he thought about his stash of meth. The bitch, Tammy, better not of been doin' bumps while he was out here slavin' away. He'd give her a matchin' pop to her left eye if the shit came up short. Fuckin' bitch was useless. Couldn't cook, clean, or give a decent blowjob.
Sawyer felt the first couple drops hit his face, and he realized, suddenly, tongight would be the perfect night to knock over that liquor store on University.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 09:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 03:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 09:56 am (UTC)Jack and Boone argue over Jack leaving Boone to drown to go save the other drowning chick. Jack chooses Boone. Boone sulks. OMG it's the gayest thing ever!
It really, really is.
Locke pulls Jack to safety and them roll all over each other. OMG theirloveissogeriatricandwrong!
Wow, I'm SO glad I wasn't the only one who went to that wrongbadew place.
Dude, Sun's husband? Such a chauvinistic git.
They should kill him and eat him. Except he'd probably be stringy. And okay, what part of Korea does he come from? The part that's stuck in the '30s or something?
Claire/Kate moment. Hmmm.
Again, thank God I'm not the only one.
Maybe the polar bears drank Coke or something.
BWAHAHAHA. You crack me up.
Enter Charlie, stage left. He goes mental when he sees Boone hitting on his girl, I guess he didn't the 'Jack is fucking Boone' memo.
Seriously, Charlie. Boone
is too pretty to be straightisn't hitting on your girl! Why would he go for pregnantTess Claire when he can have hotmansex with Jack?
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ficinabottle hopefully*Boone/Sawyer! Show me the money people!
Someone needs to write it. NOW. *eyes
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 09:57 am (UTC)*headdesk* They really need an "edit comments" feature.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 03:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 10:21 am (UTC)I'm just hoping Kate screws Jack alreayd and gets it out of her system so she can go have her harem with Saweyer and Sayid. And Claire, though Charlie will put up a good fight for that. Then Jack can go with BoomBoomBoone, and Sun can go screw Michale while Shannon and Jin hook up and get tosssed in the ocean.
For serious.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 03:57 pm (UTC)JJ is that you? I told you not to come to my LJ the day after the show!
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 11:08 am (UTC)Also, who's Augustus?
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 11:18 am (UTC)omg, I just realized that I read all of Z's post and didn't even pick up on that. This is because Augustus is Michael, the dad. He used to play a character named Augustus on OZ, and apparently neither
Am I right, Z?
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 03:59 pm (UTC)Oz is the shit.
Yis.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 12:01 pm (UTC)lol, i thought that myself.
this was good fun to read, thanks.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 03:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-22 08:49 am (UTC)2) viggo is thinking about me.
3) you know the Flash was on SV this week, right? You know this, right? I was all "do da do, let's see if Clark is nekkid again this week". We all know that's the ONLY thing that show is about. Lo, Clark was not nekkid, but THE HAVE OTHER SUPER HEROS ON THERE NOW AND WHAT IF THEY HAVE BATMAN AND DO YOU SEE YOUR BOY THE FLASH?
4) I'm stanind right here, you don't gotta talk about me like I ain't in the room, damn!
5) Mos Def's new album is not as good as I was expecting, back to blackstar.
6) and nobody else comes out to help him since out of 47 people only two can swim. I was wondering about that myself. Huh, lame Alias-like plot device. I'm surprised it wasn't Sark drowning. Speaking of which, he was
6.1) on CSI this week.
7) getting the west coast feed is great so I can watch t.v. at midnight.
8) Boone confronts him about making him look like the beta male he is. He's just mad because Jack has all that hair, which only brings his hair loss into starker relief. Ian was too fine before, he had to be remade in the image of we, lesser mortals. Wait, I mean, like all the other lesser mortals, me (and you) being too Slytherin for all of that.
9) Sawyer is a redneck. A real redneck. Finest redneck portrayal in a long time in the media. He was reading a car-repair manual, I'm sure. I read on the the official site that he's a model. You are just attracted to the pretty.
10) A tropical island. With other life on it. Yes, my darling. There was so much fucktard action on this episode. a. I am glad to see other people want to be boss next week, because I was NOT buying that EVERYONE would look up to Jack. PUHLEEZ. Not in a plane full of Amuricans. b. Like, y'all, them's trees and shit. They ain't grown out the ground bein' fed on no salt water. Shit, everyone on that plane must have lived in New York, LA or Sidney.
11) Who is Augustus? The cast is too big, and all the names are stupid. I can't ever remember anyone's names.
12) and what you really want to know: I will fb your story today. XO
no subject
Date: 2004-10-22 10:03 am (UTC)Kid Flashmy baby was on SV this week. I love my baby. I have seen it. I wasn't feeling the hair too much, and the crime thing made me itch, but it was still my baby.4) The only way to get your friggin attention is to act like you're not around. I think it makes your ears ring or something.
5) Nuts.
6.a) I was not feeling the natural speaking voice. Also, either huge forehead or serious receding hairline action there.
9) So are you going to write more of this shit or what? Don't fake! You know you are dying for a chance to show people how it's done.
11) Augustus Hill (http://www.livejournal.com/users/hackthis/256275.html?thread=4763411#t4763411) = Michael. The black guy!
12) About time. Damn. And you wonder why I talk about you.