Four and a half Stories That I Want to Write, but Are Totally Stalling Me Out

[hackthis_archive]

1. SGA: Untitled OMG John Sheppard was in the French Foreign Legion Fic. Yeah, you read that one right. I was watching the Military Channel – shut up, this happens when I'm hungover – anyway, they had a whole special about it, and how they have men from over 100 countries and their common language is French, except I don't actually speak any French, but OMG, how fucking cool would that be?

2. HP: Mary Poppins is Neville Longbottom's Great-grandmother: This one I am pretty fucking desperate to write since I have these fabulous visions of wee!Neville and his grandmother threatening to put him in the carpet bag of doom and him ending up in China. I mean how many times did you start digging a hole and have someone say if you kept it up, you'd reach China? Exactly. Plus, hello, singing birds and Cracked-out Great! Aunt Mary who turned her wand into a talking umbrella!

3. Pron. Pron of any fucking kind. I have no pron at all. I even had ideas of SGA pron based about the Laws of Gravity, because I bet you didn't know I was that much of a geek, but well, there you go.

3 1/2. GA: McSteamy and McDreamy. You know that's a love gone wrong.

4. Ari-fic.. Ari always has shit to say, but right now, not so much with the coherency and more with the foaming at the mouth rabidly. Season three of Entourage doesn't start until June. I'm dying here.

5. Uh, who knows, I am fandomless writer, I really need some threesome pron or something. Here, go read something by somebody else, for example: romanticalgirl is writing smoking hot Hornblower porn, Ride at Anchor; annakovsky wrote AU George/Bailey; and trinityofone wrote fantabulous Spy!Rodney fic The Universe is Not Enough

Also, 1) Jake is gay. Big shocker there. 2) No-acting Soap Star to be the New Aquaman and 4) Jake to be Matilda's godfather.

Comments

[oxoniensis.livejournal.com]

someone wrote some fabulous Rodney!Spy story, but I don't know who it was so tell me so I can recommend it!

That would be trinityofone I think. He spied for Canada.

Also, we always get told we'll end up in Australia if we dig deep enough. Wonder what the Chinese and Aussies get told?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

That's what I thought, but it's not popping up on her LJ, which is so friggin weird.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

You probably know this already, but #1 was totally meant to be because Joe Flanigan speaks fluent French. He studied at the Sorbonne. *dies. a lot*

Also, I've never seen Entourage, but your recent posts have made me really want to. Especially because I just watched what tragically little there is of Cupid for the first time, and I want more Jeremy Piven like mad.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

OMG, woman, I cannot find your Rodney!Spy story on your LJ. I've looked six times! I knew you'd written it, but it wasn't there and I thought I was hallucinating, but it's not there, where did you put it? Why are you hiding the rec goodness?

[oxoniensis.livejournal.com]

OMG, how fucking cool would that be?

Dear fic-writing part of hackthis, please to come back soon so she can write this! And stay for the other stories too.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

:D

[lyra-sena.livejournal.com]

ooohhh, new Hornblower? This makes me happy. I hope you get your stall unstuck. In the meantime, I offer virtual cookies.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Laura discovered Hornblower about a month ago, and now that she's seen it she's gone Archie/Horatio crazy. That means pron. Lots and lots of pron. Also, HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Speaking of Lee, err, yeah, two weeks and no Helo, I am distressed.

[babyofthegroup.livejournal.com]

You and your powers of prescience. Jake + Austin = adorable.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I was just fucking around, but this is cracking me up.

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

Mary Poppins as Neville's g'grandmother? That could work.

I believe with all my heart, all my soul and...um. Wrong thing.

Well, with some part of my being, anyway, that at some point, the wizarding world became aware that while Mr and Mrs Banks were Muggles, all four of the children were magical. Which was, of course, why they couldn't keep a nanny. So they sent Mary Poppins to take care of things. She became even more necessary when Mrs Banks became pregnant again - sure enough, Annabel was a proper little witch. Five Muggleborn children in one family - this was practically unheard of and demanded special measures and teaching. However, after Jane went to Hogwarts, things became a bit easier.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL.

[acroamatica.livejournal.com]

If you need French help in order to get that written, I know people. Okay, I am people. Fluent, I should note, not just high-school French. :D

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the generous offer :)

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, your prescience is fucking *scary*.

also, hi, you know how I feel about the John in the Foreign Legion story. Let me know if you need any help. Or inspiration. Or French. Or, you know, whatever.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

also, hi, you know how I feel about the John in the Foreign Legion story. Let me know if you need any help. Or inspiration. Or French. Or, you know, whatever.

Please, you know if this ever gets off the ground you are the first person I'm coming to.

[melle.livejournal.com]

A note on the "Jake is Gay" pictures: I saw those riiiiiiight after they came out and what I thought was this - what's up with those two mafioso guys right behind Jake and Austin? How do they feel about sitting behind a couple of arse bandits? *cough*

I would dearly love to see that in a fic. Just sayin'.

(I've missed you and ethrosdemon since... well, Color of Wheat. It makes me miss the Olde Dayes at ewan_hayden. I am loving all the Ari fic, though, especially as I don't get to watch Entourage. Call me poor, I can't afford cable. *shrug*)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

A note on the "Jake is Gay" pictures: I saw those riiiiiiight after they came out and what I thought was this - what's up with those two mafioso guys right behind Jake and Austin? How do they feel about sitting behind a couple of arse bandits? *cough*

I would dearly love to see that in a fic. Just sayin'.

I wrote a whole story about Jake's gayness! Did you read it? It's called The Incredibly True Adeventures of Four Stars, Two Actors in Love and One Gay Landmark (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=hackthis&keyword=RPS:+The+Incredibly+True+Adventures...&filter=all). Yes, I pimp myself proudly.

[elzed.livejournal.com]

A propos of your Foreign Legion skit, I'll have you know that I once slept with a deserter from the Foreign Legion (and yes, he was hot). I still count that as part of my cool points.

Also, on the French front, it is my first language. You know, if...

Not that I am actually much use these days. But.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the offer! I will make a note of this.

[fox1013.livejournal.com]

...So Michelle Williams's girlfriend is the baby's godmother, and Heath's boyfriend is the baby's godfather?

God, they are the queerest straight couple EVER.

Awesome.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Wait, say what about her girlfriend? Oh, this is the best story EVER, and it's not even a story!

[callsigns.livejournal.com]

Oh, gay Jake. ♥

Your AUs sound rather fan-fucking-tastic, especially the Neville/Mary Poppins. (He's all confused when he gets to Hogwarts because the owls aren't singing back to him, but then Great-Aunt Mary sends him a carpet that's charmed to turn into a canary and he putters around the greenhouses with it on his shoulder, explaining Many-Tongued Hydrangeas to its avian amusement, and when someone bursts in and startles him, the canary turns back into a carpet and Neville is all befuddled on the ground wrapped up in a cozy red rug. Or, um. Yes.)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Gay!Jake is just -- I mean at how adoring he is. The gayness is seeping through the computer screen I tell you!

[torchthisnow.livejournal.com]

Re: the Jake article - Since when is Tom Cruise not gay? Dude needs a fact checker.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Typo, baby girl. That's all I can figure.

[jonem.livejournal.com]

Mary Poppins is Neville Longbottom's Great-grandmother.

My god, woman, you have the best crack dealers! This is absolutely perfect.

As for the whole Jake thing... well. You obviously have your gaydar tuned to 'predict'.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

As for the whole Jake thing... well. You obviously have your gaydar tuned to 'predict'.

Truth is always stranger than fiction, unless it's crack fiction! :D

[aidenfire]

Awww! Jake's boyfriend is really cute! And look how happy Jake looks! *bigasssmile*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I know! I mean he's just practically climbing on him, plus, as Tyler pointed out, Austin's flies are undone in #3. What *have* they been doing? inquiring minds want photos!

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

This all just....the CRACK IS REALS NOW!!!!!!!!
I know I'm quoitng peoples, but : your prescience is awesomely strange and scary. Please don't stop.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LMFAO.

[thepouncer.livejournal.com]

Is it wrong that I read "AU George/Bailey" as some kind of twisted It's a Wonderful Life thing?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I must confess, I have never seen It's a Wonderful life. I'm sure this explains a lot, as serialkarma will tell you I'm not into a lot of the 80s teen angst films either. But I've seen lots of indie films :D

[khalanasa.livejournal.com]

OMG. Have spent last 10 minutes in daze thinking of all the ways Mary Poppins can be worked into HPverse. Of course she's Neville's great-grandmother (and if you're going with the Disney version, Bert, etc, the slightly bumbling, smudged-face is totally genetic). And if looking at it from the perspective of the books- Neville's fear of his grandmother makes perfect sense- she obviously inherited the carpetbag and the attitude! Although, in more cracked-out-ness, imagine the showdown when Mary Poppins and Dumbledore met.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LMFAO. The bset crack can be shared ;)

[corinna-5.livejournal.com]

I just want to note that your #1 made me realize that for John, Atlantis sort of IS like the French Foreign Legion. You know, your life's in ruins, so you head off to this exotic place to fight the good fight and start over?

Huh.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You are so smart. ;)

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

Ari? There's possible Ari? French Foriegn Legion!Shep wouldn't go astray either.

Also, where does one find Entourage? Is it available for d/l anywhere?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Also, where does one find Entourage? Is it available for d/l anywhere?

Ask and ye shall receive (http://hackthis.livejournal.com/371277.html)

[kiki-miserychic.livejournal.com]

3 1/2. GA: McSteamy and McDreamy. You know that's a love gone wrong.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought so.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Dude, it was so gay I was like, whoa.

[plumtastic.livejournal.com]

Oh. Jake. Sweetie, you are the cutest, most gay thing I've seen in a very long time. Rock on being the new Gay Godfather.

French. Foreign. Legion. IEEEEEE!! Seriously, the Legion is one of my favourite things *ever*, to the point where I refer to the Am. Legion Hall as the "French Foreign Legion Hall" because I'm wacky like that. I love this idea and dear god, the visuals alone are enough to kill.

Great Aunt Mary? *hoot* That's my type of cracked. Also digging to China always makes me think of Data, which reminds me that a band called "Truffle Shuffle" played in town a few weeks ago and I completely forgot to tell you about it.

First you gotta do the Truffle Shuffle.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Oh. Jake. Sweetie, you are the cutest, most gay thing I've seen in a very long time. Rock on being the new Gay Godfather.


Every time I look at the photos, I just laugh and laugh and laugh.

French. Foreign. Legion. IEEEEEE!! Seriously, the Legion is one of my favourite things *ever*, to the point where I refer to the Am. Legion Hall as the "French Foreign Legion Hall" because I'm wacky like that. I love this idea and dear god, the visuals alone are enough to kill.

I had no idea they were so cool. After the programme, I was all, "Must go to bookstore and find things out! FFL rocks!"

[emella.livejournal.com]

lurker here. :)

GA: McSteamy and McDreamy. You know that's a love gone wrong

YES PLEASE! :D

1) Jake is gay.

That is SO funny.

Interesting post. :)

[ravurian]

McDreamy and McSteamy, yes.

Also, re: Mary Poppins &c. I wondered that no one has written anything about Miss Eglantine Price's involvement in the British War Effort (Disney's Bedknobs & Broomsticks) or mentioned to Hermione that her grandmother was magical (and largely self-taught) too...

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

I have these fabulous visions of wee!Neville and his grandmother

I am in the wrong kind of company. I read that line and thought that Neville was having potty-training problems. Or worse. 0_o.