[personal profile] hackthis_archive
It's not really possible to explain exactly how whipped I have been by the Olympics, but I will try:

a) Yesterday, I wrote French swimmer slash, because well, hotass.

b) While discussing said hotass, [livejournal.com profile] oconel produced this picture of Amaury Leveaux to which my entire thought was Wow. The French are more than welcome to talk smack when they look like this. And also? Someone needs to lick his back during sex. And if it can't be me, then he needs a man so I can write about this. Find him a man and I will write this story. Alain Bernard is 6'5. Just a thought.

c) NBC is playing along. Identify the male swimmer by his stomach. I shit you not.

c) In the morning I watch Jon and Stephen, it has pretty much always been this way. This week I have been channel surfing away from Jon and Stephen with alarming regularity because OMG! What if I miss swimming hotass? This aberration cannot be understated.

d) Last night, during the men's heats, the NBC commentators said, "[Their] coaches say that Ryan Lochte is the best thing to ever happen to Michael Phelps." And then they went on to talk about how Ryan helps Michael be more relaxed and I was like yeah, that's a sex shoutie right there.

In fact, this made my gaydar ping so hard I was momentarily deaf, but I said, No! I have written my Olympics slash. And then [livejournal.com profile] sparky77 sent me The World According to Lochte which has bling grills! Skateboarding! Drawing rain falling upwards! Dressing like John Travolta! and I realized I can not fight this.

Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte are totally having sex. And getting stoned. Probably in that order too.

ETA: And because nobody is more awesome than rowers: let's spread the homoeroticism around, hey?

ETA #2: I think Keith Olbermann said it best, "There are only two times of day: when Michael Phelps is preparing to race, and when Michael Phelps is racing."

Date: 2008-08-14 06:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladydey.livejournal.com
True enough - if figure if they, the press, could fellate Michael on tv after each win they would think they're doing a service. But usually the pinging of the gaydar is not that loud. It's like Ryan is Michael's human cred or something - 'look Mike's just like the rest of us he's got a friend isn't it lovely.'

But it is funny.

Date: 2008-08-14 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thexpuzzler.livejournal.com
That... is actually a really sad thought. But in a way, they are using Ryan to humanize Phelps. I just watched the NBC coverage of that 200mIM semi-finale and they had a whole discussion about how now that he's got Ryan as a friend, the team not "only respect him" but also "like him 'as a human being'" and the like. I thought that was very weird.
Though I've looked through a few interviews and Phelps himself is trying to push the image of himself as the next-door neighbour cute guy, if you so will.

What I can't figure out is why (always assuming those facts are not genuine and they're not just happy that he's, you know, found some connection to people, which is quite possible).
Like, is it about the identification process? Are they trying to make him more approachable... but in order to what? That's what eludes me a little, right now.

Date: 2008-08-14 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Are they trying to make him more approachable... but in order to what? That's what eludes me a little, right now.


Marketing. Sponsorship. Money. It's always about money.

Date: 2008-08-14 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thexpuzzler.livejournal.com
Well, yes, I thought about advertising and such, but for that, wouldn't it be enough that he's the best swimmer of the whole human history and the likes? That's pretty impressive already. It's always been a bit of a mystery to me that people fall for the "that guy/girl's approachable" angle, because they're really not, not in the sense your next-door neightbour is, and no amount of friendship and humanizing and getting to know him will change that.

But I've never quite gotten ads and sponsoring in the first place, so maybe it's just as well that I don't get this angle either.
Sorry for spamming your journal!

Date: 2008-08-14 07:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Oh, not advertising for *him* but for all those companies that are going to want to make money off his name. Michael Phelps is the awesome Olympian, yes, but is he relatable? Marketing is always about relatability. Will you sell more of your item if everything thinks he uses it or if everybody thinks only he can use it? Everyman versus eliteism. That's where they try to market that 'boy next door' appeal, which you know, if the guy next door was like that, I'd lock myself out on a regular basis.
Edited Date: 2008-08-14 07:30 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-08-14 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thexpuzzler.livejournal.com
Thanks for the explanation! :)

Heeeeh, you might want to unpack those cooking skills and bring over muffins on a regular basis, too. Preferably in a a towel and nothing else. Whoever knows. Could get lucky *g*

Date: 2008-08-14 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladydey.livejournal.com
I think it's an effort to make him more approachable. He's doing this amazing thing and blowing the field of competitors away while he does it; I imagine the head-space that he has to get into to be the guy who can swim like he does is off putting (like one of the Ryan/Michael asides was that Ryan is the only person pre-race that Michael takes his head phones off for). And maybe prior to having a "friend" Michael didn't seem as "humble" as the world likes it's heroes - you can be great but you have to be seen as appreciative to the collective not just great, you can't be seen as thinking that you are above everyone else. If someone can be seen as cracking the great wall of perceived superiority (this may be true or just outsider perception), then it's alright to like you for being awesome, even if you aren't friends with them.

Date: 2008-08-14 10:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
What's interesting to me is the way the press keeps insisting that the other swimmers really like him and really respect him, as though they know that either a) it's not the truth and they want to pretend otherwise, or b) they are 'encouraged' to say otherwise because of past rumors. I was just reading an article in Newsweek (http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/beijingolympics/archive/2008/08/14/confucius-says-phelps-is-golden.aspx), which was naturally about the god-like qualities of Michael, and curse his other teammates who have kept him from strings of gold medals at other competitions.

Seriously, folks?

No wonder his teammates might have some hostility towards him! The media sees them as nothing but outlets (or foils) for Michael's greatness. That would make anybody drink the bitter juice.

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