Olympics r srs bzness.

[hackthis_archive]

It's not really possible to explain exactly how whipped I have been by the Olympics, but I will try:

a) Yesterday, I wrote French swimmer slash, because well, hotass.

b) While discussing said hotass, oconel produced this picture of Amaury Leveaux to which my entire thought was Wow. The French are more than welcome to talk smack when they look like this. And also? Someone needs to lick his back during sex. And if it can't be me, then he needs a man so I can write about this. Find him a man and I will write this story. Alain Bernard is 6'5. Just a thought.

c) NBC is playing along. Identify the male swimmer by his stomach. I shit you not.

c) In the morning I watch Jon and Stephen, it has pretty much always been this way. This week I have been channel surfing away from Jon and Stephen with alarming regularity because OMG! What if I miss swimming hotass? This aberration cannot be understated.

d) Last night, during the men's heats, the NBC commentators said, "[Their] coaches say that Ryan Lochte is the best thing to ever happen to Michael Phelps." And then they went on to talk about how Ryan helps Michael be more relaxed and I was like yeah, that's a sex shoutie right there.

In fact, this made my gaydar ping so hard I was momentarily deaf, but I said, No! I have written my Olympics slash. And then sparky77 sent me The World According to Lochte which has bling grills! Skateboarding! Drawing rain falling upwards! Dressing like John Travolta! and I realized I can not fight this.

Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte are totally having sex. And getting stoned. Probably in that order too.

ETA: And because nobody is more awesome than rowers: let's spread the homoeroticism around, hey?

ETA #2: I think Keith Olbermann said it best, "There are only two times of day: when Michael Phelps is preparing to race, and when Michael Phelps is racing."

Comments

Re: Another thought I was having

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

It kills me though that even when the moment should be about everyone -- the 4X100 for example -- the press make it allllllll about him. Cullen Jones? Not in the first thousand million photos of the celebration b/c he was on the side of the pool watching Jason Lezak come in. Jason? Not actually in the celebration for a while there. Based on the press coverage you would've thought that Michael had swum all four legs himself, with the way the press kept saying it was his medal and not their medal. That is a joint fucking effort people, show some respect. Bitter what?

Re: Another thought I was having

[alethialia.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love that Newsweek piece, btw:

Phelps' nemesis Ian Crocker. Nothing personal, of course. But in Athens it was Crocker's slow leg that led to a disappointing bronze medal for Phelps in the 4X100 meter freestyle relay and prevented him from tying Mark Spitz's record seven gold medals. And at last year's worlds in Melbourne, Crocker left too early in a preliminary heat of the 4x100 medley relay, getting the U.S. team disqualified and costing Phelps a perfect 8-for-8 gold championship.

It was CROCKER'S FAULT that he didn't get those precious gold medals! HE did that to poor MICHAEL. Break out the gallows, we'll have a hanging at dawn.

That is a joint fucking effort people, show some respect. Bitter what?

Heh. Those poor, poor teammates. But also poor Michael. If he's self-aware at all he's gotta realize that he's anointed now, but the moment he stops being able to perform, he'll be shark bait.

Re: Another thought I was having

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Didn't you get the memo? Ryan Lochte will never be good enough, but he can be Batman's butt monkey Robin. Ian Crocker? The son of bitch should be stoned at dusk! And this guy:

But by the end of the first length of the pool, New Zealands Moss Burmeister had surprisingly caught him. A whiff of tension blew through the press tribune. But no worries. Phelps simply wound it up a notch and quickly overtook Burmeister.


Well, the press would've cut off his nuts if he'd beat their precious Michael. Whatever would they talk about if OMG! Michael got a silver medal.

This one of those times where you think maybe you should be more pretty and less aware, because facing that sort of veiled hostility can't be good for anybody on a day to day basis. It is dead lonely at the top, and it's even worse when they knock you down to eat you alive.