I'm in ur yuletide, fuckin' up ur storeee.

This time last week I had 400 words of yuletide
On Friday I had 800.
On Sunday I decided the whole thing was shit, so I have to start over again. I am not back to zero, but now at -800 words. This SUXXORS! But fear not yuletide recepient, I shall make it work!

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I would like to apologize to anybody who's sent feedback to my gmail and never heard back from me and thought I was an uberbitch who pissed on dead babies and put puppies on spikes and shit. I actually discovered this weekend that gmail was sending my FB to the spam folder, along with the 60 messages of spam I seem to acquire every day. So, I um, didn't know and was just cleaning it out willy nilly. My bad for reals.

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I was going to write some SGA pron, but I can't write them, so I was gonna write some FNL porn, but then I thought I should wait for Tuesday. *pauses* Why is it not Tuesday yet?! Why don't I have a beloved pairing to write porn for? Why can't I write my yuletide story? Why does the jumper I'm wearing make me itch?

lyra_sena thinks I should write Coach Hotass pron, but a) he's already getting mad sex from his wife and b) there's something about his wife that doesn't work for me. She looks kind of haggard. Her make-up is way too harsh.

When is somebody gonna write some Matt Saracen? *looks around curiously* Matt & the Geek Squad or Matt/Jason (The American Idol) or Matt/Julie or something. C'mon, y'all.


Music Link of the Day: 'Some Surprise' -- Snow Patrol's Gary Lightbody in a duet with Lisa Hannigan (Damien Rice) singing a song written by Bellx1's Paul Noonan for The Cake Sale, which benefits Oxfam.

Has anybody procured the new Damien Rice? What are your thoughts on '9'? Would you care to share a few choice tracks with the rest of the class?

Clooney in 2008

Whose House? George's House!

The President of the United States took time out from his humanitarian efforts in the Sudan region to answer a few questions about the mid-term elections, making the world a better place for the First Son, who gets sedated the most in his Cabinet and what's the deal with his ex-partner.



Q: Mr. President you must be thrilled about the results of the mid-term elections. What are your plans now that your party is in control of Congress? –- The Washington Post

President Clooney: Well, I would be lying if I said our party taking over control of Congress didn't make me at least a little happy. Tomorrow, Pinky, I think we'll take over the world.

[cue much laughter from the Press Corps]

Q: Mr. President you've been lobbying the UN repeatedly for help in the Darfur region, how does it make you feel to see things happening so slowly? –- The LA Times

President Clooney: As much as I would love to speed the wheel of progress along, a lot, I think we all know what happens when the US sends in troops without thinking things through. I'm hoping we can get better results with humanitarian aid than with military assistance. I'd like to be able to tell my son that I've done all I can to make the world a better place for him.

Q: Mr. President is it true that the Surgeon General (Dr. Gregory House) is prescribing Vicodin willy nilly for Secretary of the Defence Black and Chief of Staff Gold? –- The New York Post

President Clooney: [raises eyebrow] As much as I might like for Lewis and Ari to be sedated around the clock I find it hard to believe that either one of them would take something to diminish their rather gregarious personalities.

The New York Post: So that would be a 'no' then?

President Clooney: I'm sorry to disappoint your editors, but yes that would be a no. The only drugs Lewis and Ari take are the ones their assistants put in their coffee to make them more pliable -- and before anyone gets arrested, yes, that is a joke. Unless it isn't. You would have to ask Heather and Lloyd.

Q: Mr. President this is a little outside the scope of today's conference, but is it true that before you were the leader of the free world, you put a bumper sticker on Brad Pitt's Prius that said 'I'm Gay and I Vote!' -- Defamer.com

President Clooney: I'd love to be able to say that I'm above such things, but to paraphrase Mr. Washington, 'I cannot tell a lie, I chopped down Mr. Pitt's cherry tree.'

The LA Times: Is that a euphemism, sir?

President Clooney: It is whatever you want it to be as long as you don't tell Anderson. Now if you'll excuse me I have to meet with Vice President Obama and take care of the First Son's two o'clock feeding. It's not easy being a working parent, you guys should try it.

The Clooney Fan Club: We love you Mr. President!

President Clooney: Your country loves you too, so don't forget to vote.


I'd meant to post this last week but forgot. Still, it's never too soon to register to vote for the next election. Just saying.