idealists are the cruelest monsters of them all.

To get everyone back on track with items of real importance:

TomKat has had the baby!

I've been told it's a girl, and her name is Suri.

ETA: Thank you People magazine for confirming what I already know. Also, uh, my friend just sent me this, to you know, check on the timeline and stuff.

I am stuck in the middle of my current story, so I thought I should distract myself. Oh, look, Wentworth Miller Blaise with GUNS!! I'm sorry, but the minute I saw this I thought: YESSSSSSSS! Followed in short order by "hot DAMN", and where is the story where Blaise is a hit man, and Draco's his boss, and Blaise gets hired to off someone political, like, say, Harry Potter, only the sex is really good, because Potter thinks Blaise is an escort or something, so Blaise is like, well whatever, because Potter's crazier than Draco. Only Draco goes mental when Blaise runs off with Potter, and goes to get him back, and there's a crazy shoot out. At some point Blaise gets wounded by Potter, and Harry's all, "I could've killed you, you know, but you're really good in bed, and you're amusing as hell" and Blaise is all, "Don't do me any favours" and then he passes out from blood loss and wakes up in hospital with Draco at his side and Draco's all, "If you ever leave me again, I'll shoot you myself!"

Yeah, pretend I wrote that story.

Also, I saw the Love Monkey marathon this past weekend, if two episodes could ever be considered a marathon. Anyroad, that's a good show, and it has lots of really good music. I want that music. Anyone got the hook-up?

The Jake Gyllenhaal Mastercard Advert

+ The cost of The Incredibly True Adventures of Four Stars, Two Actors in Love, and one Gay Landmark: One month, give or take a few days, so insert my pay stub [here]

+ The cost of a set of three crack pipes: $15.99 (I'm estimating)

+ Photos of Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols invading each other's space, while using Sophia Bush as a beard: Provided by you lot, so FREE

+ Jake's publicist actually denying anything is happening between them?: PRICELESS



Ari loves this town.

ETA: Congratulations to Peter and Maggie! *courtesy of serialkarma

HBO is airing the 2005 version of Elizabeth I with Helen Mirren and Jeremy Irons and... Hugh Dancy. The Making Of featurette shows him fencing in a tee shirt and jeans. I cannot begin to explain the hotness of this, but I will tell you that it is SO immense that I'm contemplating writing Harry Potter again. I mean the character not just the fandom.

I'm thinking maybe Harry/Blaise, which would mean art would be required with Hugh Dancy and Wentworth Miller. Together. I want everyone to just stop for a moment and think about that idea of that much hotass. Spam me, kids, show me the pretty. Give me art. Convince me that this needs to happen.

ETA: Oh look, Wentworth photos and Hugh photos. Lots of them. Hey, man, subtlety is for law enforcement and family members.

---

+ It's been raining non-stop for three days.

+ I need a new mood theme. Suggestions? I am thinking BSG.

---

+ I am searching for mp3s of Alexi Murdoch's new song 'Dream About Flying' and the Go-Go's 'Our Lips are Sealed'

Zero 7 fans there is a tremendous post in audiography by thedarksun that talks about their vocalists and has audio clips.

I think one of the hardest things for any writer (or artist) is trying to remember what you bring to the table at the end of the day, i.e. what makes your writing strong, what makes you different, what makes you better, or worse, or just what makes you a unique snowflake*. What is your motivation? I think it's easy to get bogged down in the fannish experience, to get frustrated and annoyed, or to lose sight of what you enjoy. I think somedays everybody wants to pack it in. If you can get past that though, if you can remember who you do this for, I think you'll be okay.

I don't think anyone can possibly be as hard on a writer (or artist) as a they are on themselves, and sometimes that can really fuck you up.** Sometimes you find yourself comparing stories***, and feedback, and the way your stories measure up in your brain, and you just want to shoot yourself in the foot. There are stories that I've written that nobody's liked, and there are stories that are loved that make me cringe. There are stories by other authors that have made me want to weep with how brilliant the written word can be. This used to drive me crazy -- now I just revel in someone else's gift. Everyone is someone else's fan.

The important thing is that you try not to compare quite so much, to someone else, or to yourself. It's imperative that you keep going, that you keep trying, that you believe in yourself when nobody else does, because you've got to be in the game to hit it out the park. Like cesperanza says,

"Me, I am all about the game--fandom's the game! I want to be in the game!--and like, I can live with posting a story that's "eh" or a flashfiction that's a bunt, because hey, wow, the next one will be better, and at least I'm still playing. And being in the game means that sometimes you suck--you go out, you swing, you strike out, but hey, you wave your bat at the couple of fans who are happy to see you anyway, and then you go in the bullpen and ice your shoulder and watch your teammates play, knowing you've got to go out there again in about half an hour.



*Don't listen to Tyler.

**You being the general you, or you know, me.

***I try not to compare, but let's be honest, that shit doesn't always tend to work so well.

I had a Grey's Anatomy epiphany over my coffee this morning. I don't actually tend to drink coffee though, which should prolly tell you all you need to know. ( Thar be an unpopular opinion here, just saying... )


Now on to important things: I wrote SGA, BSG (twice!) and HP/O11 last week. What do I focus on now? Got some pretty pictures to bribe me with? Music? Crack? I'm always good for crack. Speaking of crack also, I can't imagine that there's anybody reading this who hasn't already found their way to seperis's SGA-does-Oz WIP, Crimes Against Humanity, but if you're not, WHY NOT? Guns! Assassins! Blowing shit up! Prison riots! *sighs happily*

Sometimes I say to myself, "Self, what the *fuck* are you doing?" to which I then answer, "Why the fuck are you asking me?!"

Yes, it always sounds like a Lewis Black diatribe in my head. Other household favorites are:

+ Wow, I hate other people. Like a lot.

+ Stupid is as stupid does. Don't be stupid.

+ Well, if you didn't want the truth, why did you even ask me?

+ When I am queen, all you motherfuckers are going to die. Painfully. I will bring you back from the dead, just to kill you all over again. This thought makes me very happy.

+ A beta would've caught that you know.

+ WWAD? (What Would Ari Do)



So, what sort of inspiring things do you say to yourself?

Battlestar Galactica
Helo. Kara.

You Are My Sunshine


Karl Agathon was given the call sign ‘Helo’ by his friend/drinking buddy/workout buddy/would-be-sister, Kara Thrace. Originally, Karl had thought it was just a nickname for his home, Mt. Helios -- the name seemed close enough. It was only much later on, after graduation from the Academy, after Zak died but before the Cylon attack, that Kara told him that she’d picked it out, not for his home, but for his disposition.

Helios was a sun god, and Karl was always optimistic and bright about everything Kara complained, and it was frakking irritating. The Lords hadn’t mean for anyone to be so joyous all the frakking time, and one day Karl was going to be sorry for being such a happy bastard.

Karl laughed and slung Kara over his shoulder in a Fireman’s Carry, since she was three sheets to the wind and had slurred most of the entire explanation.

It was a testament to their relationship that he knew Kara would’ve kicked anyone else in the balls for daring to pick her up in such a manner, but with him she just belched really loudly and warned him that if he dropped her she was going to hurl on his shoes.

He patted her on her thigh, the safest area he could reach without dropping her on her head. “Don’t worry, Starbuck,” he said placatingly, pausing to blink several times so he could reduce the number of sidewalks before him to a manageable number. “Nobody would notice if you got brain damage anyway.”

Kara made a noise of displeasure and pinched Helo's ass. “Just for that I’m telling everyone that you’re gay.”

Helo made a derisive snort. He hadn’t been gay in years. “Like anybody would believe anything you say anyway.”

“Everybody believes what I say,” Kara paused. “What was I saying?”

Helo snorted again. “Exactly.”

a) Best comic ever. Officially. Batman would so whup Supes ass. :D Yes, I admit being biased. *thanks to serialkarma

2) Entourage season TWO will be out on DVD June 6th. *according to angel_grace

3) Entourage season THREE will start on June 11th. I expect everyone to watch it.

d) Ari's Indian adventure, excuse me Jeremy Piven's Journey of a Lifetime to India, will be showing on 1 April (Saturday) on Discovery HD, BUT, it will then air for non-HD mortals on Monday (3 April) on The Travel Channel at 8pm (9pm). Watch it goddamn it, so I have people to squee with.

e) I fucking love Anthony Bourdain, people. For real.

f) I have no porn still, but that's okay. I shall persevere!

ETA: I need music! Who's going to hook me up with The Eagles 'I Can't Tell You Why; Don Henley 'Rocking the Boat'; Nas 'Hate Me Now' & 'Bridging the Gap'; Dilated Peoples 'This Way' and Tahiti 80 'Soul Deep'? Please?


Today is a Happy Day, be happy, goddamnit! ♥

If I had known you all had so much to say about wah-der, or waugh-ter as the case may be, I'd've brough this up ages, ago. You all are terribly amusing, and your response to The Word of the Day is absolutely brilliant.

Or should I say that your lush, superb, idiosyncratic and rather raucous tableaus in regards to gerrymandering, dumbfuckery and confuzzled paterfamilias were truly eviscerating. In a good way, ecologically sound and green way. But sadly without the need to abscinate anyone. Although it is a case by case basis for the pimps. My inner sonambulist was kept from wandering by your frenetic veracity and lissome genius -- although, personally, I could use a nap. Ari was really interested in the shiny lesbians, wombats and doughnuts, but I told him unless he wanted to experience defenestration first hand he’d knock it off. Sadly, I hit a quagmire when attempting to use aubade, ticky, and calamistrate in this sanguine ode to you lot and the toxicology report on George Clooney’s penis.

Still, you have certainly cured my morning ennui and any discombobulated thoughts I had about my hangover. Down with Comstockery and up with porn I say! Fuck the man!

Here's to you, my reading list, and your lack of soteriological thinking.

p.s. I am SO writing stories about furphies and a cackle-bladder. Sorry for the spam.