idealists are the cruelest monsters of them all.

Okay, so it's occured to me, after a few drinks, that El Jay? A lot like Hollywood and the entertainment industry. Just on a different scale.

You've got your writers/actors, your beta/managers, you've got rec people/agents and artist/directors and you know, like fucking everybody. Everybody helps the industry run, from the extras and grips to the 20 million dollar divas. You've got action stars and porn stars and comedians and dramatic queens. You've got jack-of-all-trades. Hell, you've got like tiers, and activists and shit too. Which then begs the question, in Tinsel Town and all it's satillite areas, New York City theatre, London chic, Bollywood hotties, who the hell are you?

I think I'm like Samuel L. Jackson, the ex-crackhead who just appeared out of nowhere, and then was in every goddamn thing known to man, and you're like, WTF? Snakes on a Plane?! Not always good, not always great, but definitely entertaining in that, "Oh, well, it's just Sam" way.

I reckon this prolly works in the music industry too, but they have bands and stuff, and no one person is a band. You can get your OTP to be a duet, but no man is a band.

John Donne is totally spinning in his grave. Rock.


Tomorrow, I'll do the one with the made up titles. Mebbe. I need another drink.

On behalf of trinityofone, rageprufrock, saturnalia and kaubukivice:

I keep getting requests for Entourage downloads, which I sadly don't have to share or I wouldn't be asking, but if anybody's does have the show for download, please comment here or get in touch with the aforementioned people. Why would you do this? Well a) Ari b) it's fucking Entourage c) it will do wonders for your karma d) then they too can hug it out bitch.

And I'll prolly write you some Ari fic or something. :D


ETA: While I'm asking for things for other people, my most beloved serialkarma has not seen the Battlestar Galactica episode 'Scar' so if any of you good good people could help her out as well, that would make me so happy, I'd prolly drabble you porn or something.

K pointed out that there's an anonymous meme going around where you can tell writers what you *really* think of their writing, which you know, hey, go ahead. Personally, I'm always getting abused anyway whether it's anonymous, or in sekrit (which really not sekrit at all), or to my face, so if you're feeling that need, knock yourself out. I didn't actually think anyone needed a *day* or some shit, but hey, I'll even start.

[Name here] is not a very good writer. Actually, she fucking sucks. Same stories, same characters, same characterization. I mean, damn, what happened to all the mass murder? Can you just get a new story or something? Also, you are so not all that. I don't know why people like your stories. Are you famous for sucking someone's cock or something? I could totally do better. And I spell better than you too. And, I make less typos. So there. Also, where the fuck is my chai latte? You are fucking fired.
-Ari

ETA: I adore you all madly for rushing to my aid, but I think what I just don't get about this exercise is the simple idea of if you don't like something, why the fuck are you reading it? Is someone holding a gun to your head and forcing you to? I highly doubt that, so why go around being needlessly rude and cruel? That's just fucked up.

I am sure there were things I was gonna say today. I'm sure I was gonna, like, have a thought or possibly, two, maybe write something (Shepherd totally has a man-crush on Burke) or put up some music, but, uh, antheia decided that today would be an excellent day for her to put up Ari-picspam, and who am I to stop that? There's, like, photographs of him in suits, and have you seen his his HANDS?

So, uh, yeah. Ari.

Note; I write RPS crack-fic. I think everyone knows this. George. Ari. Jake. Totally all fictional, except for you know, the real people and the bits where avid_slacker points out that Out of 100 people in the room, George and Jake feel compelled to stand next to each other at the Oscar luncheon photo. And apparently, they were clowing around on Access Hollywood, too. You know, when I write crack, I expect for it to *stay* crack. The whole realistic thing is totally fucking with my head.

Ari says: Why the hell do I have to find out who you're fucking from fucking Access Hollywood, George? Why kind of shit is that? I am your agent; I own you! Your ass has PROPERTY OF ARI GOLD tattoed on it. You are supposed to call me *before* you put that fucking condom on! When you flip the top on that lube, you think of ME!

Once again, svmadelyn brings all the fangirls to the yard with her Valentine's Day Game. A-Q and R-Z.

Huge adoration and love to svmadelyn for organising everyone's thoughts for the third year running, and to everyone who sent someone else love.*

*And especially to those who sent me love, too, YAYE!

+ First of all, to whomever brightened up my day with that lovely flower, thank you.

+ Secondly, does anybody have Prince's 'The Ballad of Dorothy Parker' and 'Anotherloverholenyohead'? ETA: Also, I'm in the market for Hooverphonic and Anna Nalick.

+ Thirdly, on BSG, I will only say, hotass. On, GA, well, George is love. George is SO MUCH LOVE.

+ Fourthly, I know the RPS I write tends to be a really convulted mess of twisted fact and crack, but sometimes, you know, it's not so crackish.

Take for example, the Legendary Toothy Tile. Now, Mr Tile hasn't been mentioned by Ted lately, but, everyone and their grandparents have seen the photos of that girl from One Tree Hill with Mr Gyllenhaal. As I'm not a Gyllenhaal fan -- except for my nefarious Ari-laden purposes -- I'd gone past it.

However, stupidtrucks pointed me towards these photos of said starlet with Austin Nichols in the *same* location, and well, y'all remember Austin, right?

He's the boyfriend that Jake had in The Incredibly True Adventures of Four Stars, Two Actors in Love and One Gay Landmark.

And of course, this could totally be coincidence, because these things happen, but then why is OTH girl wearing the same outfit in the phots with Jake and Austin, unless the three of them were at the beach *together*? And where was she when Jake and Austin went to the Lakers game on Friday?

Things that make you go 'hmmmm', kids. Really.

Also, isn't my icon keen? slodwick made it!

I try to conduct myself in the way that I want other people to act. I believe you should show by example, and so I try to make my Live Journal a happy place for myself and the people who want to be here. For the record, however, if you decide you don't like me because you don't like my stories, or the way I write, or the way I run my Live Journal, that's fine. This may come as a surprise, but I'm not doing it to make you happy. That's no reason not to respect me as a human being. There's no reason to be a gossip-mongerer about it. If you decide you don't like me, because you think you know me by reading this Live Journal, or you imagine I've done you wrong, or you've judged me and found me lacking in some respect, FUCK YOU.

This is a dual-purpose posting.

First of all, I would like to share something that literaryll found for me a little while ago that made me shriek like a little girl. Kanye West and Jamie Foxx performing Gold Digger & Touch the Sky at the Grammy Awards. Complete with bands, step shows, and fly 70s gear.

Now, Kanye can speak for himself, so what I want to publicly do is thank literaryll for all her time and energy, and the way that she is just so giving and and thoughtful, and in general, just a really fabulous person. This is why I have dubbed her The Miracle Worker. I don't come across people like this very often, which makes it all the greater when I do find them, so you know, thank you.

Secondly, I was multi-losing my rag today, not really paying attention to anything, when this voice started calling to me from my computer. Apparently, Gary from Snow Patrol and Guy from Elbow have had a baby, and they've named him Harry. Harry has a band called Kubb, which, apparently, is setting things on fire at the HMVs in the UK. So, here they are, My Musical Find of the Year, or at least so far this year -- Kubb 'Wicked Soul' & Kubb 'Grow'

Thirdly, (okay, so I can't count) can anybody figure out how to convert that Kanye/Jamie file so that my iPod will accept it, because right now, it's giving me the two-finger salute when I try to upload it from iTunes.

First of all, I have an icon from zeplum which fills my black heart with so much glee that I just don't even have the proper words. I mean really -- Look, it's Ari! <3

Secondly, it occurs to me that I've been asking for a quite a bit of music recently, but I haven't given any back in EIGHT WHOLE DAYS (if you took advantage of the Personal Song Offer) or NINETEEN DAYS (if you prefer the musical posting). So. I had to rectify that. From me to you

Al Green 'Here I Am (Come and Take Me)' – Yes, this song was covered later in its life by UB40, like most good R&B, but before that it was all Al. Why? Because Al Green is one of those wicked soul artists that just make you feel good about life, and who you just can't help but love, like Barry White. And Tom Jones (Tom fucking Jones!) And Jell-o. Everyone loves Jell-o, unless the consistency reminds you of, err, seminal fluids, then perhaps not so much so.

Barry White 'Never Never Gonna Give You Up' – Now how could I mention Barry White and then not put him in here? Barry White is like, like -- it's fucking Barry White! There are some singers you just have to give respect to for being that cool and down-to-eath and sharing their God-given-talent. Rest in Peace, Barry.

Johnny Cash 'Folsom Prison Blues' -- I know lots of people loved Walk the Line. Me? Not so much so. I mean I loved it, because it was "the story" of Johnny Cash, but you know, yeah, no. This is Johnny fucking Cash we're talking about, and something about the movie just seemed to miss the mark. Reese Witherspoon was great though. I'm rambling, but Johnny Cash pretty much speaks for himself. I mean, dude, anyone who writes the lyric I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die? Hardcore.

Elbow 'Presuming Ed (Rest Easy)' -- I love Elbow. I talk about them all the fucking time, so I figured any music post where I put men with big, bold, knicker-dropping, grooving-in-the-middle-aisle-of-the-supermarket voices must include Guy Garvey. Because, really, Guy's voice is just that moving. Ergo, Elbow.

Fiona Apple 'Oh Well' -- I am notoriously finicky about my female singers; I know this. I just get so tired of the whinging and the emoting; it makes my brain hurt. I like my women like I like my coffee, goddamnit. Or I would if I could drink coffee without freaking out everyone in a two-mile radius. Anyway, women like Starbuck and Angie Stone and KT Tunstall and Aretha and Miss Fiona, that's what I like, because sometimes you fall in love with someone who doesn't love you back, and all you can do is say, oh well.

Nirvana 'In Bloom' -- I know you're all like, okay, Al, Barry, Johnny, Fiona – Kurt fucking Cobain? What the fuck? Yeah, it occurs to me that some of you weren't even alive when he was big. That's just -– that makes my head hurt. Anyroad, I have 'In Bloom' here because a) everybody has at least two grunge-era songs that they still like. Don't front. B) Even if you didn't like Nirvana the first sixty times, you might like them the sixty-first. C) This song isn't about grunge or flannel, or whatever you thought was happening in Seattle in 1991, it's about those people in your life who just don't fucking get it. Everybody knows them.

And to confuse you even more about what I actually listen on a regular basis, the last song of the day is a party song from the late 90's, which already means at least ¼ of you've never heard of it. Still, if you were a club kid partying on the East Coast or in Europe at any point you should've heard DJ Kool's Let Me Clear My Throat at least once. Or twice. Or fifty times.



Hackthis Heatseeker Chart: Mawglee 'Culture No 50'. British lo-fi electronica in the vein of Zero 7, Morcheeba, and Portishead. This is chill-out all-day-every-day type music. Hangovers, Sunday afternoons in the garden, and three am making out all the way.


*Thanks to literaryll, violetsmiles and greenapricot for their contributions to this post.

Munchkins,

I require music. Help me out?

* Kelis - Caught Out There
* M.I.A. - Galang
* George Clinton & P Funk - Atomic Dog
* Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun
* Gorillaz - Bill Murray
* Mawglee - Any song that's not 'Dreaming' (I already have that one)
* Any live Radiohead, Verve, Gomez, Elbow or Zero 7
* Some classical would be nice too, but I only know what oxoniensis gives me, which is mainly Schubert and Chopin. Oh, and I like Philip Glass. I think. *shrugs*

Ta,
Me

ETA: I have everything! I adore you all.

*goes off to listen to George Clinton*